ELIJAH'S DAGGER: THE
SEARCH FOR HOLY RELICS
DRAMATIS PERSONAE:
MISS FLORENCE TAYLOR aka MISS
FLORENCE OBI -- SECRETARY TO MR. USMAN BELO. SHE IS A MUGUESS.
BISHOP ABERNATHY -- A GUYMAN POSING
AS A CLERGYMAN IN SEARCH OF FREE MONEY
MR. LIONEL DRINKWATER --
MILLIONAIRE BON VIVANT & RACONTEUR-- THE GOOD GUY
COLONEL ZULE THORN -- EX-KGB
OFFICER AND DIRECTOR OF SECURITY FOR LIONEL DRINKWATER
MRS. BETTY FERGUSON -- ASSISTANT
TO LIONEL DRINKWATER
MRS. JUDY SMYTHE -- EXECUTIVE
ASSISTANT TO LIONEL DRINKWATER AND ADMINISTRATOR FOR SHIPLEY PROBATE
This scambait is a continuation of
The Last Will and Testament of Dr. Calvin Crocker.
When we last left the action, the Probate had closed on Dr. Crocker's Estate.
Bishop Abernathy, whom everybody thought had died came dragging in after
Probate closed to tell us that he was not quite dead. This is odd considering
that I created both the character and the supposed death of Bishop Abernathy.
Yet the lad assumed his identity in hopes of getting monies that Dr. Crocker
left to Bishop Abernathy, but that the treacherous Mrs. Judy Smythe stole by
closing the Probate so quickly. The lad is posing as both Florence Taylor and
Bishop Abernathy in this scambait. He earlier posed as James Chume and
Barrister Michael Williams. He assumes the identity of the characters I create
as fast as I can create characters. In this scambait, I introduce Colonel Zule Thorn,
Lionel's enforcer. Vladimir (a mysterious Russian), Mrs. Betty Ferguson, who
is Rev. Harald Porter's niece from the last scambait.
This scambait loosely centers around
the secret quest of Lionel Drinkwater for "Elijah's dagger, which is a holy
relic hidden somewhere in the "Secret Crystal Cave." As I have laid down
the story to the 419 con artist(s), Bishop Abernathy is in charge of the
search and is in a remote location with only a satellite internet connection
for e-mail. By defining my characters and their liabilities, I can avoid the
lad's requests for phone calls. I define the events and limits and they have
to dance to my tune if they hope to get money -- especially as they are
already posing as other people and hoping Lionel doesn't figure it out. I keep
feeding them bits of information so that they can become more confident in
their identity theft, which is what is happening for the lad has stolen the
identity of several people he believes to be real. Because he parrots back my
fictions to me, I know he is lying and lying and lying. The mysterious "Elohim
Society" of which Lionel is a member, is funding the search for Elijah's
Dagger and so Lionel is constrained by the rules of the nebulous elders who
run the Elohim Society.
Continuing in my theme of taking the
lads away from the usual 419 con job, this scambait begins with Bishop
Abernathy telling us that he is not dead as Mrs. Judy Smythe and others had
supposed. In fact, he is quite alive and asking for money
His e-mail address is
bishopabernathy@macmail.com and
he cc'd paulidiris777@yahoo.com to
make it appear as if he and Idris Paul (another character I created) are two different people and they are in
communication as the Estate of Dr. Crocker assumed them to be. So we open with "Bishop Abernathy"
offering us a con job nestled within a baloney
sandwich of spirituality:
DEAR MRS. JUDY SMYTHE,
MAY THE PEACE OF THE LORD BE WITH YOU AND YOUR
FAMILY. WELL I AM SHOCKED WITH THE NEWS THAT YOU ASSUMED THAT I AM LATE. WELL
I AM MUCH ALIFE, AND RETIRED TO REST AFTER HAVING A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT BEFORE
THE COMING OF MY GOOD FRIEND AND GOD FEARING MAN DR. CALVIN CROCKER. I WAS IN
THE HOSPITAL WHEN HE CAME AND GONE I COULD NOT SEE HIM. WELL THEY TOLD ME HIS
LATE MAY THE ALMIGHT GOD BLESS HIS SOUL. “ MAY HIS HOLY SOUL REST WITH THE
LORD, AMEN”
WELL I WAS TOLD OF THE PROVISION HE MADE FOR ME. I DO
NOT CARE MUCH ABOUT EARTHLY THINGS ANY MORE WORRIED ABOUT NOT SEEING MY GOOD
FRIEND DR. CALVIN CROCKER TILL HIS LATE. WELL I ASKED THE CHURCH TO FORWARD
ACCOUNT AND MAKE THE CLIAMS ON MY BEHALF. THEY LATER ASKED FOR MY PERSONAL
ACCOUNT NUMBER I GIVE TO THEM. NOW IT’S THE NEWS THAT I AM DIED WELL MAY GOD
FORGIVE THOSE WHO SAY OR THINK SO.
I AM MUCH LIFE. PRAISE THA LORD.
BYE MAY THE ALMIGHT GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU. I
HOPE YOU PRAY, PLEASE ALWAYS TO OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST.
PLEASE IF THE MONEY IS BEEN TRANSFER TO MY ACCOUNT
THE (TRANSFER SLIP) PAYMENT SLIP SHOULD BE SENT TO PAUL IDRIS AND ME. THANKS
FOR YOU UNDERSTAND AND ASSIST. THE LORD BE WITH YOU.
BISHOP ABERNATHY
Mrs. Judy Smythe replied. Knowing how badly James
Chume wanted the Range Rover, I had her go on and on and on about what a great car it
is. It must just fry Chume to know some greedy, wicked woman "stole" the very
expensive and plush Range Rover he was supposed to get:
I am glad to hear that you are alive, for many
of us had thought you had died of pneumonia in November. Unfortunately, the Probate on Dr. Crocker's Estate
closed this past Friday. The $95,000 he had donated to you had to be given to another Christian charity.
You will be delighted to know that the $95,000 went
to Sister Lourdes La Palma and her ministry for handicapped children in Manila. I am leaving tomorrow
to visit Sister Lourdes in Manila and will be gone for a week. I need a vacation after working very long
hours to finish the work on Dr. Crocker's Estate. Dr. Crocker very graciously
left me a generous sum of money and a beautiful Range Rover automobile. The
car is a delight and I smile everytime I drive the Range Rover because it
makes me think of Dr. Crocker. He must be so happy now to be in Heaven with
Jesus. I even put a picture of Dr. Crocker on the dashboard of the Range
Rover... (continued below)
I of course did not include this
photo of a luxurious Range Rover in Mrs. Judy Smythe's letter. However, I add
it here to show you what must be going through James Chume's mind as he reads
Judy's bragging about what he thinks should be his Range Rover. If you read
The Last Will and Testament of Dr. Calvin Crocker
then you will know that the scumbucket James Chume thinks he came thisclose to
getting the Range Rover were it not for his own greed. James Chume would have
been the King of Lagos in this stately Range Rover. But alas, he must ride his
rickety bicycle about ScamCity as he goes from his home to the internet cafe.
Now let us return to Judy Smythe as
she continues blathering on in her chatty, insipid manner. In doing so, she
volunteers far too much information to the lad, which I'm sure he eats with a
spoon...
$90,000 and it's not yours
Mr. Chume! Judy's driving it!
...Some criminals tried to steal money from Dr.
Crocker's Estate. They were horrible men who used fraud to try to steal the
money Dr. Crocker intended to be used for God's work. I wanted to call the FBI
but Mr. Drinkwater said to let the matter go.
I think Mr. Drinkwater is too forgiving and too
generous sometimes, but that is why we all love him so. He is just like his
dear Uncle Calvin. Mr. Drinkwater will be happy to know that you are alive,
Bishop. I will call him tomorrow morning on my way to the airport to let him
know that his good friend Bishop Abernathy is alive, God be praised. The Range
Rover that Dr. Crocker gave me has a built in cell phone so I can talk without
taking my hands off the steering wheel. It also has leather seats with
electric warmers that are so nice on these cold winter mornings. It also has a
magnificent stereo and when I play choir music CD's in it, they sound like the
music of the angels. With some of the money Dr. Crocker gave me, I am going to
have one of those GPS systems installed in the Range Rover so I never get
lost. You know me! I get lost so easily in traffic, but the GPS will help me.
I also feel safer in the Range Rover because it is so big and sturdy. It is
built like a tank, which is more than I can say for my old car. Well, my "old"
car is really not old. It is a 2001 Mercedes and I am giving it to Sister
Lourdes. In fact, they are coming tomorrow to pick up. I am having the
Mercedes shipped by air so that I can give it to Sister Lourdes as a gift when
I am in Manila. Please don't tell her as I want to keep it as a surprise.
Sister Lourdes and I are going to have a private
prayer retreat when we are together in Manila. She has arranged for us to stay
somewhere by the beach where we can pray and talk and just catch up on old
times. She is such a dear precious woman. I think I will also take her
shopping for new clothes when I am in Manila because she needs new clothes.
Some of her clothes are old and I want her to look pretty so that she feels
pretty. She has such thick beautiful hair and a lovely face. I always tell her
she is pretty and she smiles and tells me I am pretty. We are just the best of
friends.
Mr. Drinkwater has funded the Elohim Society with a
$2,000,000 grant from the money he inherited from his Uncle Calvin Crocker.
Mr. Drinkwater also inherited the Crocker Medical Foundation and about
$8,000,000. Mr. Drinkwater told me that he already has more money than he
knows what to do with and that he will eventually give all $8,000,000 to the
work of the Gospel. Mr. Drinkwater is preparing to fly back down to Tahiti in
his private jet to be with his wives and children. I love Mr. Drinkwater, he
is truly a saint of God. I am sure he will give you some money Bishop
Abernathy. Once he finds out you are alive, I am sure he will just send you
enough money to finish working on the secret crystal cave. How is the work
coming on the secret crystal cave? The work has to be done and we were worried
that if you were dead, the secret crystal cave would never be finished. I want
to send Alphonso Fabrizio to help you finish the secret crystal cave. He will
do the sculpting, but only if the Angel of God tells you that the time is
right to sculpt the altar in the crystal cave.
Bishop Abernathy, what did the Angel of God tell you?
You are the only one he speaks with besides Father Lucio. You must tell us the
Angel of God's latest prophecy to you. That is the first thing that Mr.
Drinkwater will want to know before he does anything. Please give us the Holy
Word from the Angel of God.
In the Name of Jesus,
Sister Judy
In a subsequent note sent by Lionel to Bishop
Abernathy -- which I failed to copy in one of my throwaway e-mail accounts
that does not copy e-mails automatically unless you check a box -- Lionel told "Bishop Abernathy" that US Customs
found $500,000 in gold Kruggerands hidden in the Range Rover when they inspected it prior
to it being given to Judy Smythe. Oh, the pain! The Range Rover was loaded
with gold! If only James hadn't overreached! Oh well, live and learn. Naturally,
I will keep rubbing it in by using my characters to remind the lad of how
close he was to having $25,000 and a new Range Rover had he not been so
greedy. Such torment is useful in reminding him of his depraved greed. I hope
he suffers the deep pangs of his own greed.
Comes next this astonishing letter from Usman Bello's secretary.
Lionel Drinkwater was positively shocked when he received it:
Good-day.
How are you and your church activities?Hope things are working out fine and if so thanks be to God Alimight.
Sir, iam a secretary to Usman Bello you sent $5500 please i don't want you to send any more money they were asking you to send because they were fraud. i thought they has ask you to pay another $8000 through western union.
Iam a christian and i don't feel peace within me when all this style of getting advance fees happening to you,so i will advise you to seize giving any more money because they are imposters.
The certificate that they suppose to send to you were fake document and do not go to camerron they has ask you to come and they will ask to bring another money and if you fail to bring it the plan is to kill you over there that is they arrangement.
Iam here to reveal this secretly to you for God's sake and i know that you are a son of the most high God so take yourself out from this mess.
Iam sorry that your $5500 you sent to them is gone into their pocket, the money they did not know how you suffer to get it just come to them with a fake letter sent to you.
If you want to do business in Nigeria you have to ask for genuine people and do business with them not the imposters please.
You are free to email me back and you can call me on my cell phone number 234-80-23438346 if you need more news about Usman please. He has a friend Attorney called Tony he is his league too so be careful.
Regards,
Miss FLORENCE OBI.
Office Secretary.
So the plot thickens and deepens like
Nigerian crude congealing in the turgid, sulfurous hold of a rusting oil
tanker bound for China!
Dear Mrs. Obi:
Lionel Drinkwater, Esq.
Lionel then sends this missive to Bishop Abernathy:
Bishop Abernathy:
We have to give the gold to the Russians by next
Sunday, 21 February 04. We have to meet them in Cameroon at the crossroads. Vladimir will be there to meet you and
Rev. Porter. It must happen no later than next Sunday. I have sent airline tickets to Vladimir. The C-130 is
on its way as planned. I had to send the gold via DHL secure because the authorities in Madagascar would
not let it leave on the chartered C-130 due to new
911 laws. Rev. Porter is in the safe house with the
gold. He will meet you at the pre-arranged spot on Saturday. Please confirm that you have handled everything.
Usman Bello's secretary wrote me claiming that Bello
was planning on killing you. This does not seem true, but I have asked her for more proof. Just in case,
stay put until I authorize you to move. As an added precaution, I will send Grady Linpopo and his
people down next Friday to meet you at the safe house. Do not leave your house even to go out for cigarettes.
I am ordering you to remain inside your house until I clear you to move. Use
your manservant Nels if you need anything. I have called Zule Thorn to
investigate.
Regards,
LD
Thanks for your returned mail.
Please the person in the picture is an imposter who acted as Usman bello i know the real Usman Bello and if you want me to link you up with the real Usman Bello i will but it will be top secret between us.
Sorry that you has lost your $20,000 just like and i knew that you has sent another funds to them. they are happy getting your hard currency that they never worked for.
If you can listen to me do not do any more further deals with them for they are fake and imposters to Rev.Porter.
It is a promise that all will be well if you will listen to me and i will give you the direction how to get this crooks.
What is the name of the Church and the address you are donating some funds for the fundation of the Church.
Is the cheque written in the name of the church or Usman Bello i would have let you know of this before Rev. Porter Travelled to cameroon.
All i can say to you is just to give up please because you are becoming a victim to the imposters.
I will give you there email address they used in writing you and their telephone numbers if you are doubting me so forget about them.
I will direct you to the real Usman Bello when you are ready.Awaiting for your response.
Yours Sincerely,
Miss Florence Obi.
Secretary.
THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL; YEA VERY THING HAS BEEN HANDLED
AS PLANNED.
I WAS HAPPY READING FROM YOU, I WAS ABOUT WRITING YOU
ASKING FOR ASSIST TO ENABLE ME COMPLETE THE SECRET CRYSTAL CAVE, MRS JUDY
SMYTHE TOLD ME THAT THE PROBATE CLOSED AT 9 O'CLOCK THE MORNING I WROTE TO
HER TELLING HER I AM NOT DIED I AM ALIVE. WELL THE LORD TOLD ME SHE HAS A
SELFISH REASONS FOR DOING SO. NOW SHE ADVICED ME TO BEG YOU FOR THE ASSIST
TO ENABLE ME COMPLETE THE SECRET CRYSTAL CAVE.
THE COMPLETION OF THE SECRET CRYSTAL CAVE IS MY
HAPPINESS FOR NOW THE LORD GOD HAS GIVEN ME THE TASK OF DOING THAT FOR HIM.
PLEASE THE LORD JESUS WILL BLESS YOU IN THOUSNAD FOLD IF YOU ASSIST ME
FINACIALLY TO COMPLETE THIS PROJECT. YOU KNOW DR. CALVIN WANT THIS PROJECTED
TO BE COMPLETED BUT MRS JUDY HAS DENIED ME OPPORTUNITY BY SENDING TO HER
FRIEND MONEY DONATED TO ME BY DR, CALVIN ESTATE. I HOPE YOU WILL ASSIST ME
IN THIS COMPLTING THIS PROJECT.
I WILL BE PLEASE IF YOU ARE WILLING TO ASSIST NOW AND
SEND ME WHAT EVER YOU WISH TO ASSIST ME WITH INTO THIS ACCOUNT, WHICH IS SET
ASIDE NOW FOR THE COMPLETE FOR THE PROJECT (THE CRYSTAL CAVE).
HUA NAN COMMERCIAL BANK LTD,
PU CHIEN BRANCH,
NO.37. SEC.2 SAN MING ROAD
PAN CHIO CITY,TAIPEI HSIEN TAIWAN,ROC.
SWIFT ADD;HNBKTWTP151
A/C NO. 151 - 97- 000501 -4
B/F; AUDITEC CO. LTD.
PLEASE IF YOU END THE MONEY TO THE ACCOUNT LET ME HAVE
THE PAYMENT SLIP THRUGH SCAN.
I WILL BE AWITING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST. PLEASE I
WILL WAIT FOR YOUR INSTRUCTINS.
BUT PLEASE I WANT TO FINILIZE PLANS AS TO THE
COMPLETIONS OF THE CAVE ASAP.
BYE AND THE ALMIGHT GOD BLESS AND GUILD YOU. AMEN.
BISHOP ABERNATHY
Bishop Abernathy:
There are many things about which I am confused:
1. Why are you using a bank in Taiwan when you live
in Cameroon? You must use a bank in Cameroon only. The Elohim Society,
which is funding the search for Elijah's dagger, insists that a local bank
in Cameroon must be used and that Rev. Harald Porter's name must appear on
the account as well. I cannot transfer any money to your Taiwanese account
or to any account that does not have Rev. Porter's name on it as a
co-signer. The Board of Directors made this rule and I cannot change it.
The most I can send you in your own name is $1000
for expenses if you give me an itemized expense report listing your
expenses. If you submit itemized expense reports for the past six months,
I will send you $6000 as I did last year. Please sign and date all of the
expense reports and send them as e-mail attachments. You do need to send
the originals by DHL as you did last year.
2. I told you that I prefer to pay for everything by
using gold Kruggerands. If you meet at the crossroads as planned, Zule
Thorn will give you $100,000 in Kruggerands for the Crystal Cave project.
The project is SECRET. If we use gold, we can keep the finances a secret.
You can always melt the Kruggerands down into smaller blocks to pay the
workers and to pay for supplies.
3. Who is Miss Florence Obi? She also uses the name
of Miss Florence Taylor. And why is she telling me that Usman Bello is a
crook? She claims to be Usman Bello's secretary and yet she says she can
show me the real Usman Bello. This is a contradiction. Do you know this
Miss Florence Obi? Do you suppose she secretly works for the Muslim named
Iqbal Aracat? Should I believe what she is telling me? I have to pay Usman
Bello another $20,000 by next week or he won't send me the codes. I need
the codes and can't wait. Whatever will I do?
4. Someone named Kenneth Mustapha has written me an
e-mail claiming that you are a homosexual who dresses like a woman and has
sex with men! I was a aghast! Who is Kenneth Mustapha and why is he saying
this horrible thing about you? He even sent me a picture of you dressed as
a woman! Bishop, please send me your picture immediately so that I may
know what you look like these days. We last met each other in person five
years ago at Father Lopez's funeral (God rest his soul), and you have no
phone out in the bush. I hate to rely on satellite e-mails, but it is all
we have. Anyway, send me your recent photo and I shall send you mine. I
may decide to fly in and give you some money in person; that way we have
no banks to worry about. But first, I need to know why this Kenneth
Mustapha would attack you in such a lewd and vile manner. If we can find
out who he is, I will have Zule Thorn teach him a lesson. Perhaps he is
Iqbal Aracat's son who is known for causing trouble and saying horrible,
ungodly things about Christians in order to cause pain and suffering. I
will have Zule beat this Kenneth Mustapha fifty times with a cane if we
catch him! How dare he impugn a man of God such as yourself! It makes my
blood boil that someone would offend a minister of the Gospel in such a
wretched manner. Have you made an enemy? Or is someone hacking your e-mail
account? Please take precautions until we resolve this wild allegation.
Maybe Issac Ventu is secretly trying to get you excommunicated as he did
in 1995. He is jealous of you. You are smarter than he and that is why you
were honored that year with the Nelson Prize for Religious Scholarship. He
has remained mad at you since because he felt he deserved the prize. Given
that both you and Mr. Ventu are nominees for the 2003 Nelson prize, he may
be trying to slander you in hopes of winning. I have read both of your
papers and yours is much better than his. Your writings on Pentecostalism
in Africa are superb, whereas his writings on Incarnational Theology are
simply ordinary. Someone has been trying to hack my computer using the
IP's 68.40.65.227, 206.204.10.100, 62.242,54.98 and other IP's. I have
called a security expert in to investigate. It may be Iqbal Aracat or
Issac Ventu trying to read my e-mail's to you.
5. Can you meet me in Lolodorf in Cameroon this
Sunday (22 Feb 04)? We need a personal meeting. I want to inspect the
Crystal Cave for myself. I understand the C-130 has landed with the mining
equipment and I want to inspect the equipment as well. I also think I
should pay the Russians in person. I may meet Vladimir for dinner in
another village next Tuesday so I can pay him in person. If you can meet
me, I can transfer some cash monies in US dollars to you in private. I
will also give you the Sony digital camera and the Sony laptop you
requested for Christmas. I would have shipped them to you, but no shipping
service goes all the way out where you live. I did not want them
transported by jeep or horse because someone in the caravan would have
tried to steal them.
6. The Probate closed and all of the monies were
dispersed. There is no money left in Uncle Calvin's Estate. I will give
you some money, but you must first straighten out all of these troubling
matters and give me answers to my questions.
Until me meet face-to-face, I remain,
Your Brother in Christ Lionel
Dear Sir,
Thanks for your reply.
I do not want you to be skeptical about the allegations of Mr.Usman Bello.
Ok, i will like to send you the fake telehpone
numbers of the imposter Usman Bello and his cohort Tony Okonkwo uses.
They uses 08033976463,7766472,7593065. Fake Usman Bello and Okonkwo were the same league and the
address they gave to you was a fake address, Mek associates Limited,22Akpiri street off Wilmer Cre.Olodi Apapa.
This is fake address they gave to you and i will
like also to forward to you their email address to you so that you will know that i'm saying the facts.
The following email address
Look i am giving you this information because i has
a fear of God in me. Therefore they want to drain and ruin your life please.
And the only way to prevent is to avoid Usman Bello and Tony Okonkwo who claim to be a lawyer all were false. Please, for your information iam not no
longer working with them after you sent the $5500 and they came up to demand for another $8000 i came to have shock within me then i decided to live their fraud office for them.
Now i have stopped working with them please and if
you doubt me ask them about me they deny you that they
do not know me because something was wrong or they will give you another person's name as their secretary.Please this is the reason why i have
reveal this to you.
Of course yes, i am working with someone else and i can link you up with the real God fearing
person. What do you have to do with a muslim person who do not
have the fear of God and claiming to be a christian. God
in heaven will reward them according to their deeds and they will never go unpunished in their lifes.
Yes, you are my fellow beliver in christ Jesus and this Fake Usman and he is a muslim. Of course as a brethen in christ Jesus we must be our brothers
keeper and help each other that is why i wish to give you this news so that you can come out from the agent of darkness.
This is a useful collection, therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoicett;my flesh also shall rest in hope" [Psalms16:9].
The thoughts of wisdom Proverb 4:7 True properity is who are and not what you have, because a man drives a car does not make him the owner.
If you do not let go your lot, you will be caged
with lots of problems. Your fruithfulness in life absolutely depends on your understanding and discovery. Knowledge is power and life,what you do not know can harm and destroy you.
My believe in life as a christian isthat who that
sow in tears shall reap in joy. he that goesth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him" Psalm 126:5-6] sometimes, the wells of joy are dug with shovel of sorrow.
God still loves you, he will uplife you,enlarge your coast. No man makes success in life without passing through some abstacles. There are hurdles on the way to success.
God will be with you and if you wish to send
anything to my living church and that will be pass to the benevolant offering. Mr. Usman Bello is a muslim and he poses to be a traditional ruler from the EAST of Nigeria so
that you will not know that he is a muslim. It will be my happiness to hear from you if the information i gave related to this is true or not
and let God in heaven never deny your joy of your salavation.
Awaiting to hear from you soon.
Miss Florence Obi.
SECRETARY.
The noble Miss Obi next sends us a
photo of herself to prove she exists:
Sir,
This is my church dressing full of joy in the
lord.
God Bless you as you view it.
Miss Florence Obi.
Miss Florence Obi
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