Chapter 22 continued


From that point on the two old matchmakers stuck together like a pair of waterbugs, scurrying along as one. Now to summarize in brief they had been told by Squire Hu that their fine matches had already been refused, and now they didn't know where to turn for a marriageable man. Squire Hu was generous enough, they knew, giving wine and money beforehand like that. But what would they say if he wanted nothing to do with any of their matches?


"I reckon that in the end he was just jealous of those bright young men we found," said Every Auntie Li.


"Well, we've got no one to visit today. Tell you what! Why don't we pay a call upon Squire Hu and bamboozle him out of some wine and a couple bits of silver? It'll be such fun!"


"What kind of match have you got for him?"


"Now don't you go minding that!" exclaimed Every Auntie Zhang. "Just go along with me on the joke and enjoy your wine!"


The pair arrived just in time to find Squire Hu opening his shop. "Any news of a match?" he asked.


"Squire!" exclaimed Every Auntie Zhang. "There's a Squire Jiao who also owns a silk shop, same as you. He's got a son who is so sincere and simple you won't believe it! I'm only afraid he might be a bit too much so...!"


How old is he and what does he do?"


"Everybody reckons the Jiaos' boy to be about nineteen. He still has a wetnurse to dress him and call him to meals three times a day. And he drools a bit out the corner of his mouth and doesn't know exactly what's going on, so they all call him Han'ge the Dimwit."


"That sounds fine!" answered the Squire. "See to it, will you? And you don't have to go exaggerating his virtues like that to my wife."


The matchmakers were dumbstruck. "He tosses aside the finest golden boys, and then he takes that daughter of his and marries her to a nut. Go figure!" They then drank a few rounds of wine and received two pieces of silver, thanked the Squire and left. Across the way was a tearoom, and they stopped in for a cup.


"You really are something!" laughed Every Auntie Li, "Making me sweat to hold back my laughs! I was only afraid he'd explode in rage and whip me! How dreadful that would have been!"


"Well, as we said he had turned down quite a few good matches. I was only baiting him, hoping he'd get all riled up and give us a good laugh. Who'd have guessed he'd actually go for it seriously!"


"It must have been what he really wanted!" said Every Auntie Li. "If not, why would he have given us each two pieces of silver? It's unusually generous!" And the two hastened on their way, giggling. They headed directly for the Fallen Heroes District and the home of Squire Jiao, who invited them in for tea.


"You two came through my gate chirping like a pair of crickets!" said the Squire. "Have you really brought such good news for me?"


"To tell the truth, Squire, we've just come to tipple a little wine and tell you about a marriage match for your son."


"My boy is an idiot who doesn't know the time of day. What family's daughter would want to marry him?"


"Squire Hu, another silk shop owner just like you, has got a real flower of a girl!" said Every Auntie Li. "Nineteen years old and already she's turned down so many fine young men who've come a'calling. We two have just come from speaking there on your son's behalf. Squire Hu has given his blessing to the match and sent us especially to tell you the news."


Now, Squire Jiao was visibly delighted. "There'll be lots of rewards for both of you if this match of yours really results in a marriage!" he said excitedly. The pair then drank several cups of wine and each received two lumps of silver before leaving Squire Jiao's home and returning to see Squire Hu.


"Squire Jiao was so delighted to hear of your lovely daughter!" reported Every Auntie Li. "He begs you to set an auspicious day and time for the bride to receive her gifts. The arrangements are all up to your your liking."


Squire Hu was pleased as could be to hear this and called the matchmakers to inform his Lady, who only pronounced it a miracle that the groom was a young man of such wealth and substance. It was only due to his maids' doting since childhood, she stated, that he still needed others to dress him. It would make no difference in such a wealthy home, she insisted. And so Squire Hu's wife was clearly satisfied, and the matchmakers returned to Squire Jiao and reported all of this accordingly. Now to make a long story short he then utilized the two women to carry over the bridal gifts, the live goose and family books. As his son was no help Squire Jiao prepared all these things himself. An auspicious date and time was quickly set for the marriage to be performed, and Squire Jiao and his wife called called their son's wetnurse in for instructions.


"Now that the young master has grown up and taken a wife we're making you responsible for what goes on in the marriage chamber. If you can ensure a harmonious domestic life for them, with each persevering and the girl dutifully following my boy in all things, each going along quietly with the other, we will reward you richly."


"Thank you, Squire and Lady Jiao," said the maid. "I've got the idea."


"When telling him the hows and whys," said Lady Jiao, "it'll be best to go slowly." The maid then accompanied her into the couple's new room to speak with the groom.


"Han'ge my boy! Tomorrow you are taking a wife!"


Han'ge just repeated this, word for word.


"Isn't it wonderful!" exclaimed the maid.


"Isn't it wonderful!" repeated the groom.


The nurse fell silent. "The Squire doesn't see just how hopeless this is!" she thought. "What's this fool going to do with a wife? It all boils down to bringing suffering and harm on somebody else's daughter! And that stupid Squire Hu doesn't get it either. Why, I've heard folks say that his girl is a really complete person, so bright and wise for her years, widely learned and beautiful. Who knows how it will work out, marrying her to this idiot!"


Next morning the Jiaos were busy arranging the wedding; need I say more? Come nightfall Lady Hu escorted the bride over the threshhold. Needless to say there were bows and prayers and much feasting before the Buddha. But as the wetnurse escorted Han'ge into the banquet hall Squire Hu was seized with fear. Just consider this:


The dirt and crust were caked so very thick upon his face
While from the corner of his mouth saliva drooled apace.

His shining golden marriage crown sat sat cocked with tassled braids
Tugging at his fancy sleeves a pair of solemn maids.

Eyebrows big and bushy as the bottom of a broom
His crossed eyes straining as he came into the banquet room.

Shoes all crooked on his feet he staggered clumsily
With six or seven servants there to help him steadily.

His eyes were all awash with tears, his nose and lips with snot
Both sleeves in use as handkerchiefs to help him on the spot.

Eyes just staring dumbly out upon the guests and feast
With a look that brought to mind a very fearsome beast.

The spikes of hair grew out like wild thorns upon his head
Good enough to summon ghosts and even wake the dead.

One so dull could not stand up and walk all on his own
Like a strange tree on a ridge by fearsome wind a'blown.

Or like a village dullard stumbling on the awesome scene:
The sacred fox beneath the moon at prayer in a ravine!

Festive lamps all tell us that the nuptial cup is spent
The lovers are united quite apart from their intent.

In shock and laughter do the guests all clumsily retreat
By candlelight in cave the goddess and the angel meet.

All scarlet do the marriage curtains flutter as they part
As when the Eight Commandments entered into Guanyin's heart.

If Queen Momu had been hated by the Yellow Emperor
Her early poverty would then be all we knew of her.


That evening the wetnurse helped Han'ge through the rituals, all to no avail; none of his moves or prayers were quite what they were supposed to be. He had been accustomed to only repeating the words of others, but now he only mumbled unintelligibly. Seeing her daughter caught up in these straits Mama Hu could only pour forth a stream of uncontrolled tears.


"Old ignoramous!" she cursed beneath her breath, ever so bitterly and darkly. "Giving our own flesh and blood to this sort of man! Isn't it just the same as killing her?" Just then she raged at the two old matchmakers and started for them. Straightlaced Aunty Li jumped aside while the loudmouthed Aunty Zhang took the initiative with some words of her own.


"How impudent! You are really stepping out of line for a bride's mother!" she shouted. "All has been decided according to the rules laid down by the Squire. Just ask him and you'll understand everything. This is a happy occasion, with your elders all gathered. Now put your worries aside and look on the bright side, my Lady. Really!"


Those few lines were all it took to intimidate Lady Zhang into silence. It's indeed hard to argue with an insincere person who turns black into white with a stream of clever words. Humiliated before so many of her kinfolk she could only suffer on through the night. But next morning, with her daughter tossed out and kinsmen gone home, her anger shot up to the sky as soon as she laid eyes on the squire. Tearing out her hair and pounding her chest she cried out with all her strength to Heaven and Earth.


"What in the world are you carrying on about?" asked the squire.


"I only relied on you for everything because you were the head of our household!" blurted his wife. ""Who'd have imagined that you were just an old heartless beast! My daughter was such fine stock and so very industrious and you turned down so many matches as lacking. Then you go an marry her to an imbecile! Where's the sense in that?"


"Squire Hu answered calmly. "If our daughter had remained at home she would have implicated us sooner or later. Even if we married her out to a clever husband, it would have led to her revealing a few things to her husband and it would have leaked out. But by giving her away to an unconscious idiot like that, well, even if she leaked some secrets to him it wouldn't bring us any harm."


"Still, marrying such a fine girl to an imbecile like that! Haven't you gone and ruined her entire life?"


"Now that she's out of here she's in God's hands. What business is it of yours?"


All night Mama cried bitterly for her lost girl, scolding and sobbing in turn and disturbing the entire house, but alas the deed was done and no more could be said.


Now, on her wedding night Hu Yong'r watched in tears as her mother left to cry her entire way home in unspeakable sorrow. After seeing the seemingly endless flow of kinsfolk out the gate and with supper finished, at last she thanked the two old matchmakers. By then it was bedtime and she followed the wetnurse into the bedchamber. Han'ge was seated on the marriage bed. "Now go to sleep with the young maiden," the nurse instructed.


"Now go to sleep with the young maiden," repeated Han'ge.


"Now, I said to lie down and go to sleep with the nice young maiden!" admonished the nurse once more.

"Now, I said to lie down and go to sleep with the nice young maiden!" echoed Han'ge.

The nurse calmly considered the situation. "Once he starts with this it can go on for hours," she thought. "There's no point in continuing. Why not just get him and the girl ready for sleep?" She first undressed Han'ge, helping him recline on the bed and covering him with a quilt. She then looked at Yong'r. "Please, darling, get into your gown and go to bed," she gently instructed.


Upon hearing the wetnurse calling her to slumber her eyes filled with tears. "Oh mom and dad!" she lamented silently. "What kind of danger did I pose for you that you had to marry me to this unconcious fool? You've both forgotten how we all suffered in the homeless shelter, and now that you've returned to wealth and comfort you don't even feel anything for the one who made it all happen! Shame on you! Why, I understand dad's purpose in all of this. He was afraid that if I'd been married to a clever man I might have taught him a bit of whatever... So to head off that possibility he has married me to an idiot."


She then wiped her tears and called the maid to make the bed. Putting on her gown she clambored onto the bed along with Han'ge and the maid left the chamber, not to return. Yong'r gathered up her own quilt, wrapped herself in it and withdrew to one side, away from Han'ge. "This is all because I once followed Holy Auntie. I've been thrown out because of mom and dad's fears about that. All because dad hasn't got a son to rely on I have to bear being married out to this gross thing! I wonder if Holy Auntie knows about this, wherever she is."


And so she sighed and nodded off to sleep, and in a dream she met Holy Auntie riding by on a stork. And out of this comes still more... Yong'r becomes calm at heart and quietly bides the time.


It's like this:


The couple from a former life were fated to be wed
Don't blame the eastwind as it echoes with lament and dread.


Whatever Holy Auntie has to tell her by and by, just read the next installment and you'll find out how and why!


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