**Brian**
I walked into Kayci's house early this morning, expecting neither her nor Nick to be awake, but surprizingly enough, she was sitting on the couch. I went over and sat down next to her. She was staring into space and didn't even seem to notice me there. "Hey." I waved my hand in front of her face. She jumped. "It's okay! It's just me."
"Oh hi, Brian."
"Rough night?"
"I guess you could call it that." She paused for a minute. "Can I talk to you?"
"Of course." I knew what was coming. She was going to tell me about Nick.
"It's about Nick." I knew it.
"What about him?"
"Last night...I don't know! He just freaked out and started slamming things and started swearing at me...I can't handle this! Brian, I know that you can see Nick slipping away from me...from all of us. I am dying inside. I can't take this anymore. I don't have the energy to help him anymore. I can't help him anymore. I've given all that I have to him, and I have no more to give!" Wow. I didn't know she felt like that. I could see more tears in her eyes. If she cried one more time because of Nick, I was gonna scream. I did the only thing that I could think of. I reached over and pulled her into a hug.
My heart started pounding harder by the second...just having her in my arms like this was weird and at the same time...it's what I've always wanted...just under different circumstances of course. I never wanted to let her go. I love her so much. I pulled away but only far enough to meet her eyes. "Kayci, I love you." I leaned in closer and pressed my lips to hers. My tongue brushed hers over and over again.
**Kayci**
Even though I knew that it was Brian kissing me and not Nick, it felt...okay, almost. His kiss was so much more different than Nick's...I can't describe it. I still can't figure out why Brian seems to love me so much. I pulled away from Brian and I couldn't meet his eyes again. I felt terrible about letting him kiss me so long...but in the back of my mind I knew that I was falling for him. With everything that has been going on with Nick, I feel like I've lost my soul...my whole existance...my being. It's exactly like I told Brian...I have nothing left to give...to anyone. Nothing. I can't help Nick anymore. Especially now that he's told me the truth about his lying. How am I ever going to know when he's telling me the truth? I can't be with someone that's lying to me!
I looked at Brian. He was true...he was pure...he's never lied to me before...Nick has. Nick has promised and said a million times over that he'd never lie to me or hurt me or any of that shit that those hopeless romantic pop-stars say. It seems like...to Nick, this is all one big love song. I'll never do this...I'll never do that. Well, they do and that's reality. I guess I just never thought that any of this could happen to Nick and I. Everything is just so complicated right now and with Jess gone...that's just another big kick in the ass. She always helps me through this stuff...she's always there to smack Nick in the head and tell him that he's being stupid.
I looked at Brian again and he was looking at me. I got closer to him and timidly put my lips to his. I was falling for him. This kiss just seemed so right even though it was so wrong. God, I'm so confused. I'm just hurt inside from everything that Nick and I have been going through lately. Nick and I have had little spats before and we've broken up a couple of times...we've come close to breaking up over a zillion times...but we always find our way back to each other. But this time, I wanted to be with Brian. I do want to be with Brian. I pulled away again.
"I'm sorry," Brian said to me. He went to stand up but I pulled him back down.
"No, please don't leave me." He gave me a concerned look and then sat back down.
"Where's Nick?"
"He's still asleep." I paused. If I said it now, I couldn't take it back. I just thought about everything I've gone through in the past couple weeks and made my decision. "Brian, I want to be with you."
**Brian**
Did she just say what I think she said? "You do?" No she didn't. She couldn't possibly. I mean, she was in love with Nick...and not just in love...I've never seen two people adore each other like they do.
"I-I want to be with you, Brian." She kinda studdered. Did she really mean it? Of course she did. She wouldn't say it if she didn't mean it. But I don't care. She said it and I'm going to take her up on it. Nick was my very best friend and all, but he hasn't been treating her the best lately. And I know that they're love life is suffering. Everything with them is suffering...even the both of them. I wanted Kayci, I have for a long time and I wasn't about to let her go. "We have to tell Nick." Whoa, she was serious.
"Only when you're ready."
She nodded her head and stood up. "I guess I should go see what lies he has for me this morning." She smiled faintly and walked away. Wow, that was heavy. Just for her to think that he was going to lie to her today...that was just messed up. They didn't belong together. She belonged with me. I could make her happy all of the time. I had a plan forming in my mind and I decided to myself that it was going to go off tonight...and Nick would know by the end of the night.
**Kayci**
I had gotten through the entire day with an incredibly guilty and painful conscience. I had thought about everything today on the beach. Alone. I had told Nick that I needed some space and that I needed to be left alone for a while...and he had granted that. All I could think of was all of the pain that I was feeling right now and how much I couldn't handle Nick anymore...and how much I really wanted to be with Brian.
It was now about...one-thirty in the morning. I had come in here to get something to drink. I was surprised that Nick didn't wake up when I got out of bed. This past week, it seems like any movement that I make wakes him up. Good, I wanted to be alone in the kitchen anyway. I turned my back to everything and started at the black microwave. All of a sudden, I felt someone start kissing me on the right side of my neck. I dropped my head to the left and giggled. "Nick, I thought you were asleep?"
"I'm not Nick." Oh my God, it was Brian. But I didn't stop him. I couldn't. It felt so good. I'm actually kinda glad that it wasn't Nick.
"Kayci?" Oh no. That was Nick. Brian stopped and we turned around to face Nick...standing there...a confused expression on his face. He kinda laughed. "What's going on?"
Oh my God. I am in so much trouble. Oh shit...oh my God.
"Nick, we need to talk," Brian said.
**Brian**
We all walked back into Kayci's room. Kayci and I sat down on her bed and Nick stood in front of us...kinda pacing back and forth.
"Okay, what just happened?" Nick asked. I was at a loss for words. I had had everything planned perfectly for when this moment happened, but now...
"Nick, I have to tell you something," Kayci interrupted. "Nick, I want to be with Brian." There was a long, deep silence that fell over the room. The television was on but it was muted and the images sent weird shadows on to the walls.
"Fine, Kayci," Nick said. "If that's what you want. You know that I only do what you want me to and if you want to leave me, fine." What did he just say? That was a little too easy. I had to say something.
"Nick-" I started but he cut me off.
"No it's okay. I understand," Nick said. The corners of his lips kinda smiled. "Good bye, Kayci." With that, Nick walked out of the room.
"Um, wow," Kayci said.
"Yeah."
"Brian, I think I just want to go back to sleep." I nodded. She got into bed and turned off the television. I climbed in behind her and put my arm around her. God, this felt weird but I think now I'm the luckiest man alive.
**Nick**
What the hell just happened? On my way back to my house, I looked up at A.J.'s house...which I guess was A.J. and Jess's house now. It was so dark. It almost looked spooky. I kept walking until I got to my house. I ran up to my bedroom and collapsed on my bed. Wow, I can't remember the last time I actually spent the whole night in my own bedroom. I was always over at Kayci's house. It was supposed to become our house someday. We were going to get married and have the perfect life together...but I guess I threw that all away. I don't feel any anger...I don't feel any rage like I should. I just want what's best for Kayci and if Brian makes her happy...then she should be with Brian, and I won't stand in the way.
**Kayci**
I looked over at the clock and it was now three-thirty in the morning. Brian was asleep behind me and he still had his arm over me but all I could think about was Nick. I can't get him out of my mind! God I love him so much, but Brian...it was the decision that I made. No one twisted my arm. I must have hurt Nick terribly but that was a risk I had willing to take.
I slowly slipped out of bed and went into the living room to watch television. There was a re-run of Sifl and Ollie on. I looked next to me and there was an empty space on the couch where Nick used to be. We always watched these silly, immature shows together.
"Hey." I looked up to see Brian. "Good morning." He sat down next to me on the couch and kissed me. "What are you doing up so early?"
"I could ask you the same thing. It's only about...four o'clock. I couldn't sleep."
"Oh God, what are you watching?"
"Sifl and Ollie! Only one of the best shows on the earth!" Brian sat there for a minute and then grabbed the remote and changed it.
"That show is stupid." Brian? No one ever changed my channel. Ever! Brian turned the television off and threw the remote on the table. Why was he being so mean to my remote? "Kayci, can I ask you something?" He turned to me.
"Sure."
"Will you be my girlfriend?" I was a little shocked. I forced out a smile.
"Um...yes." He smiled and hugged me.
"I love you," he said.
I couldn't say it back. I didn't love him, yet. "I-I, um..."
"It's okay. You can't say it back, can you?" I looked down and shook my head. "It's okay. Don't say it until you're ready." God, ready? When was I going to be ready? There had been a time where I really did fall in love with Brian. Right now, I still loved Nick with such a passion.
I stood up. "You want some soda?" He gave me a strange look.
"Kayci, it's four o'clock in the morning."
"So? Oh, I got the best cookies the other day, you want one?"
"Um, I don't think I'm in the mood for junk at this hour."
"Okay." I tried to force a smile but I couldn't so I quickly escaped into the kitchen. "Man..." I sighed. Nick and I always ate soda and cookies at this hour when either of us couldn't sleep. I grabbed a cookie and jumped onto the counter. I just sat there. Thinking.
**Brian**
I was so tired. Kayci and I had been playing on the beach all day long. It was only about nine o'clock but I just wanted to go to bed. It had been such a nice day out today and all Kayci wanted to do was sit inside and watch stupid soap operas. I had to literally throw her over my shoulder and carry her outside.
She had finished turning all the lights off and came into her room. "Hey," she said to me.
"Could you do me a favor?"
"Sure. What is it?" I stood up and walked into her walk-in closet. I closed the door and tried to find something for her to wear to bed. Perfect. I spotted the perfect night gown. It was white silk with thin, spaghetti straps. The top half of it was beautifully embroidered and lacy...and it was practically see-through. The whole top half. Where did she get this? I walked back out and held it up.
"Would you wear this to bed tonight?"
She looked down. "Um, okay." She took it and walked into her closet.
**Kayci**
Oh my God. Of all of them, he had to choose the one that Nick had given me a long time ago. Of all of them. I quickly changed into it and looked at myself in the mirror that hung on the back of the door. God, the top half was almost see-through, but I guess that was the point. No! The point was that the see-through part was for Nick's eyes...only. I quickly grabbed the matching short sleeved, silk jacket, that Brian didn't take, and pulled it across me and tied it, tightly.
I was going to have to tell Jess when she got home. I was going to have to tell her about me being with Brian. She's going to hit the roof! She's going to fucking hit the roof! Oh God, I can't tell her. I am so scared to tell her. Oh God. What am I going to do? She's gonna kill me.
I walked out and saw that Brian was already in by bed. He smiled and got out of the bed. It was a little strange seeing him there in only his blue boxers. It wasn't like I haven't seen him in his boxers before, it's just now things were...different. He walked up to me and tugged on the tie that held the jacket around my body. I could feel myself start to shake. He undid the tie and pushed the jacket from my shoulders. His eyes left mine and I could tell what he was trying to stare at. He started kissing my neck. I slammed my eyes shut and kept repeating in my head, You love Brian. You love Brian. You love Brian.
"I love you," Brian said to me, not expecting me to say it back.
"I love you, too." Oh shit, that just slipped out. He stopped and looked me in my eyes.
"You do?" I panicked. What was I going to say?"
"Yes." I forced a fake smile, a very...painful smile. He smiled. A gorgeous smile, but not meant for me. He starting kissing me again, forcing his tongue into my mouth and leading me over to the bed. He gently moved on top of me and pulled one of my straps down. The dress was very loose on me and he was able to pull the right side down to my stomach. I felt like crying. I shouldn't be doing this. I closed my eyes and let my mind leave me. All of a sudden, it started to feel good. "Oh Ni..." I stopped myself quickly from moaning his name. "...Brian," I finished. Oh my God that was close. I pulled my night gown back up and pushed him off. "Brian-"
"It's okay. I understand." He smiled. Well okay, that was easy. I weakly smiled and got underneath the covers and rolled away from him. He got underneath the covers and scrunched up really close to me. Under the covers, he put his hand on my leg and slowly drew it up my leg until it rested at the upper most point of my thigh. Oh my God.