A Poem For My Special Nicole

A Poem For My Special Nicole

When we found out you were coming,
Ours hearts were filled with joy,
We wondered what you'd look like,
Would you be a girl or a boy.

We just wanted you to have
happiness and health,
It's so much more important
than any kind of wealth,
I could feel you grow inside of me,
I felt every move and kick,
You were oh so very active,
my sweet little Nic.

And then in October,
we found out you were a girl,
As precious as a fresh water pearl,
My smile I couldn't wipe off my face,
A special baby girl
I would very soon embrace!!!

We knew right away
what your name would be,
We both agreed, Your Daddy and Me,
Your name would be Nicole Ann,
And for you we had a dream and a plan.

And then just before
you were about to arrive,
Something terrible happened
and you didn't survive,
I didn't feel you move
inside me for the entire day,
So I went to the hospital
to see what the doctor had to say.

He listened for your heartbeat,
but it couldn't be found,
The reality hit me
with the silencing sound,
You were gone, you had slipped away,
And all it took was one short day.

I don't know how it happened,
I didn't feel you leave,
I would've helped you if I'd known,
oh, Nicole that you must believe,
I just thought that you were asleep,
When I think of it now,
it makes me weep.

On February 3rd you were born,
at 7:25 in the morn,
With the cord around your neck,
I was a total wreck,
My sweet little girl
that I waited so long to see,
You couldn't let out a cry
or even look at me.

Your face was just so beautiful
and you were still so warm,
A precious little angel
during my darkest storm,
I got to hug and kiss you
for most of the day,
Although it wasn't long enough,
I wanted you to stay.

And then we had to bury you
in that tiny casket,
When I should've been bringing
you home in a baby basket,
It broke my heart to leave you there,
in that little grave,
But I know you're my good little girl
and that you'd be brave.

I go to the cemetery
almost every day,
I sit there by your grave
and I always pray,
I ask God to help me through this,
and show me a sign of hope,
I ask God to please just help me cope.

I Miss you more
than words can say,
I have a hole in my heart,
I wish the day had never come,
That we had to be apart.

Just remember, Mommy loves you
and I always will,
And the short time I had you
was my biggest thrill,
So sleep well my baby Nicole
until I come join you,
I'll hug you for eternity
and I'll kiss you too.