Despite the heavy sedation, Todd had slept fitfully through the night. The next morning it was Peep who woke up. He was hallucinating, but he was calm. Everyone had to remember to not speak above a whisper around him. All noise on the unit had to be kept to a minimum. Peep had become terrified of the bath and then the shower water when they took him into the bathroom to help him with his ADLs. They quickly removed him from the bathroom. He calmed immediately. The last thing anyone wanted was to have to administer more heavy sedation. Peep had no trouble staying calm when they took him back to his bed and gave him a bed bath. It was apparently the running water that frightened him. He willingly walked to the dayroom and ate the Frosted Flakes with milk and the toast with peanut butter and grape jelly they served him for breakfast. He drank two cups of apple juice. They noticed that he did not look at the food as he ate it. His eyes kept darting away from them as he spoke. His facial features seemed flat and expressionless. His ramblings were far away and disconnected. Peep didn't seem to have much emotional attachment to Sam or Viki or anyone.
"Mommy says it's raining cats and dogs, but isn't that silly cause everyone would step on them . . . I can't wear my new shoes if it rains or snows cause I'll get them wet . . . Mommy doesn't like mud and snow on the carpet . . . Daddy punishes everyone if there's dirt in the house . . . mud pies aren't really pies . . . but Sandy makes them . . . she lives in a different house . . . but isn't it silly if she lived in my house because she has a different mommy and daddy . . . I don't like the sheep cause I can't breathe when they come at me . . . they bite me and Willie . . . Mommy says we don't eat sheep we eat lambs . . . Mary had a lamb . . . I don't want Daddy to eat Mary's lamb . . . Daddy likes lamb's legs . . . he says mommy don't cook good . . . Jack has beans . . . you can't eat them cause they're magic . . . this jack didn't fall down the hill . . . that's another Jack . . . you can't let the farmer's wife near the cats and dogs cause she'll cut off their tails . . . I can make Kool-Aid . . . I like cherry and Willie likes punch . . . it doesn't really punch cause it hurts to be punched . . . I don't like it when it hurts . . . I'm real careful with the sugar and don't spill it . . . Mommy don't get mad if I do, but if Daddy sees it, we get punished."
They were having a hard time following Peep's rapid, disorganized speech and hearing his low whisper. They were happy he remained calm. Peep was now petting the dogs and cats he saw.
Susannah suggested Viki and Sam take a break and get something to eat. As long as he was presenting calm, she wanted to take Peep to her office for a session.
"Peep, would you like us to bring you back some candy?" Viki whispered.
"The man says no candy. We're too bad for treats. The house is made out of gingerbread. If it was made of candy it would melt and isn't that silly cause you can't live in a melted house."
"Peep, you can have candy. You're not bad. You're a very good boy," Sam assured him.
Peep looked away from Sam. He pointed toward the wall. "See, the house is gingerbread, not candy. Isn't it silly for it to be candy?" Peep looked at Sam with fearful eyes. "You won't let the witch put me in the oven and eat me?"
Sam stroked Peep's head. "No, Peep. I won't let the witch near you," Sam promised.
Peep seemed to believe him. "Will you bring my doggies some biscuits and some milk for my kitties? They're being real good and not making any noise."
"Sure we will, Peep. You've been very good, too. Wouldn't you like us to bring you back something?" Viki coaxed.
"I can really have a present?" Peep whispered. His eyes were wide.
"Yes, sweetheart. You can have anything you like," Viki assured him.
Peep thought about it for a few seconds. "Can I have a cherry lollipop with a Tootsie Roll inside?"
Touched by his simple request, Viki stroked his cheek. "We'll bring you your present, sweetheart."
Peep smiled and went to tell his pets that they would be getting presents, too. Viki and Sam both looked at him. Sadness was clearly written on their faces. They headed for the diner down the street and would stop to pick up the things Peep wanted on their way back.
Susannah knelt down to where Peep sat, still playing with his cats and dogs. "Peep, will you come to my office with me so we can talk for awhile?" she held out her hand to him.
Peep turned to the pets he saw and whispered to them. "I have to go with the lady. You have to be real quiet while I'm gone or the man will punish you real bad." Peep took Susannah's hand. She and Angelo walked him to her office.
*****
As they proceeded down the hall with him they noticed Peep would stop every few feet. He would place the palms of his hands on one side of one wall and then the other. He started to look frightened. "They're moving. They're gonna squash us. Make them stop!" he whispered, fear replaced the calm in his eyes.
"Peep, it's all right" Susannah tried to calm him. "You're safe. I know it must be scary to see the walls moving. They don't look like they're moving to me. You're safe. Let's go to my office and you won't be near the walls anymore."
Peep calmed down. He continued to walk with them. He stopped again. "NO! THE MAN'S PUSHING THEM ON ME!" Hearing his own raised voice, his fear turned to terror. Peep dropped to his knees and pulled his sweatshirt up over his head. "He can't see me now. He can't see me now," he whispered.
"NO! NOT THE TRUNK. I'M NOT A SKUNK. THE TRUNK SMELLS. HE YELLS. HE YELLS." They realized Willie had come out.
"Don't make noise!" Peep begged Willie.
"No noise. No noise. We're bad boys. The trunk smells like a skunk," Willie whispered. They noticed his posture was stiff and statue like.
Hearing the screams, Frank, Terry and Eileen came rushing down the hallway. Susannah and Angelo knelt down to Peep and Willie.
"Boys, we're not going to let anyone hurt you," Angelo assured them.
"Can you boys tell us what happens when you make noise?" Susannah asked.
They didn't seem to hear her. Willie tried to pull the shirt back down so he could see the danger he perceived to be next to him.
Peep quickly pulled it back over his head. "No, Willie! He'll see us. We have to find Jack. We'll go up the beanstalk," Peep whispered. His voice trembled.
"NO BAD! NO SAD! NO BAD!" Willie shouted.
"I can't breathe!" a terrified Peep whispered. Apparently he now felt himself in the trunk.
"Boys you are not in the trunk. You are in the hospital and you are safe." Susannah whispered so as not to frighten Peep.
Willie and Peep were both trembling and holding on to each other.
Suddenly they pulled the sweatshirt down. The appearance of Todd's face changed. His eyes became wide at whatever he was seeing in front of him. "NO! NO! THAT'S MAMA'S BED! THAT'S MAMA'S BED!" He shrieked.
Susannah remembered hearing an alter say that once before, on the night Peep and Willie had first come out. The night Todd had an acute psychotic episode and he had insisted Blair come to see him.
"I HATE YOU! THAT'S MAMA'S BED." This alter jumped up and rushed down the hall a few steps and bent down and started to go through the motions of pulling on something. Susannah gave her staff a look that told them to hold back and not approach him, yet. "GET OUT! GET OUT! THAT'S MAMA'S BED!" he continued to shriek.
"Can you tell us your name?" Susannah asked from a distance. He didn't seem to hear her. Susannah approached him cautiously. "Who's in mama's bed?" she tried.
Suddenly the alter slammed his body against the wall and then slid down it. Frank and Angelo carefully approached. The alter looked up at Angelo. "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU AND I HATE HER! THAT'S MAMA'S BED!"
Angelo knelt down so his imposing height wouldn't seem so threatening. "My name is Angelo. I'm not going to hurt you. You're very safe here."
Terry and Eileen stood by, waiting to see if Susannah needed them for a hold or to get medication.
The alter tried to stand. Then he jerked his head and body back, as if someone had just pulled him by his hair. Frank caught him before he fell. He struggled in Frank's arms. "LET GO OF ME! I HATE YOU! MAKE HER GO AWAY. MAKE HER LEAVE. SHE'S NOT MY MAMA. SHE'S NOT MY MAMA!"
Susannah approached him and spoke calmly. "It's okay. It's not happening now. No one is going to hurt you. Look around. You're not at home. You are in a hospital. You're dad is not here." Finally, he made eye contact with Susannah. "Hi there. Do you have a name?" Susannah asked again. He looked around. His struggling lessened. "Do you have a name?" Susannah repeated.
"Storm," he answered, quietly.
"Hello, Storm. My name is Susannah Hanen. I'm your doctor."
Storm leaned back into Frank's arms. With his head leaning back onto Frank's chest, he turned his head up and looked at Frank.
"Hi, Storm. My name is Frank and this is Angelo." Frank pointed to Angelo. Storm made no move to leave Frank's strong protective arms.
"Storm, will you come to my office and talk with me for a while?" Susannah pushed for a session.
"Where'd the man and that lady go?" Storm looked around for them.
"Storm, do you know where you are?" Susannah asked. He looked over his surroundings. He shook his head. "You're in a hospital. It's called Llanview Hospital," Susannah tried to orient him again.
Tears came to his eyes. "Am I sick? Are you going to do stuff that hurts?"
"We're not going to hurt you," Susannah answered. She skirted the issue of his illnesses.
*****
He allowed them to walk him to Susannah's office. At Susannah's request, Frank and Angelo sat on the couch, inside the office with them. Susannah had no idea how unpredictable this alter might be. She gave him some time to look around and accustom himself to her office. Susannah noticed he was not attracted to her computer as some of the other alters were. He seemed more interested in the pictures on the walls. Both the store bought ones and the ones the alters had drawn.
Susannah turned on her tape recorder. "Do you know the adults and children in those pictures?" Susannah pointed to the pictures drawn by some of the alters. He looked at them and shook his head to all but pictures of Todd, Peep, and Willie.
"Storm, how old are you?" Angelo asked.
"Nine," he responded shyly
"So you know Todd," Susannah stated.
"Todd saw the lady first and he went away. She's my mama too. I hate the man. It's Mama's bed!" Storm surprised them by walking over to the couch and sitting down next to Frank. He placed his head on Frank's shoulder. "Is there a mama in your house?" Storm asked Frank.
"A mama?" Frank did not understanding.
"Do you have any little boys or girls?"
Normally Frank would have refocused any personal questions back to the patient. His instincts told him to answer this one. "Yes, Storm. I do."
"Is there a mama in your house, too?" he asked again.
Realizing what he meant, Frank answered. "Yes there's a mama in the house."
"My mama went away. I don't wanna stay with the man anymore. Can I come home with you?"
Storm's request surprised Frank. Susannah let Frank handle it. "Storm, do you know Sam and Viki?" Storm shook his head. He cuddled up to Frank and looked up at him, with his large, sad eyes. He tugged at Frank's heartstrings. Frank put his arm around Storm's shoulder. "Viki is Todd's sister. Sam is a very good friend of Todd's. They both love Todd and you live inside Todd so they love you too."
"They do?" Storm seemed surprised.
"Yes, Storm, they do, very much. When Todd goes home, Sam and Viki are both hoping that you and Todd and the others who live inside Todd will come home to live with them. Sam and Viki love all of you very much."
Storm thought about it for a minute. "Is Viki the mama in the house?"
"Viki will be like a mama to you when you live with her," Susannah assured him.
"Is Sam a mean daddy or a nice daddy, like on television?"
"He's a very nice daddy," Susannah answered.
Storm looked at Frank and then Angelo and then Susannah. He hung his head and sadly admitted, "My mama left and now I have to live with just the man. I have to come out because the other boy don't wanna be out. I don't like the man." Some tears trickled down Storm's cheeks.
"Can you tell us why you don't like the man?" Susannah posed.
"He's real mean to us and he did mean things to Mama. Now Mama went away. I don't like to talk about the man." Storm seemed to be getting anxious. His eyes darted around the room as if he were checking it out for Peter's presence.
"Storm, that was a long time ago. Todd grew up. His dad is not here. He can't ever come anywhere near here," Susannah assured him. She was not sure how this alter would handle the knowledge that Peter was dead so she was careful of how much she said.
Storm seemed calmer. Frank patted Storm's arm as he kept his arm around him and inquired, "Storm, can you tell us how you got your name?"
"The man got mad at mama and me. He threw us out in the storm. I did the storm for Todd. It was snowing real hard. Mama only had her robe on and I only had on my pajamas. We was so cold and real scared. Mama was crying real hard and saying 'what'll we do? There's a storm. There's a storm. I can't believe he threw us out in a storm.'"
Susannah and Frank exchanged looks. It didn't ring a bell with Angelo. However, Frank and Susannah knew from Todd's history that he had thrown Téa out, naked, into the snow.
"Can you tell us why the man threw you and mama out into the snow?" Susannah inquired.
"He thought it was the other boy, Todd. Todd was real bad. He picked up the phone when it rang and he heard the man talking to a lady. He broke a rule. You're not supposed to pick up the phone. He heard the man talk about stuff he done with the lady. Todd got real mad and scared and went away and I came out. Mama was drinking and came out and saw me with the phone and took it and listened. She started to scream at the man. The man started to laugh and mama got real mad. She called the man names and he hit her face." Frank could feel Storm start to tremble, but he was staying calm. Frank tightened his grip, slightly.
"Did the man hit you too?" Susannah pushed.
"No. He didn't see me. I was hiding under the table in the hallway."
Susannah remembered Tom once talking about hiding under that table too. This alter didn't seem as terrified of seeing the violence between his parents as some of the others did. Although he seemed to love the mother, he was not exhibiting the guilt many of the others had about not protecting her.
"Mama got even madder at the man. She called him some more bad names and pulled open her bathrobe and yelled, 'What's the matter? I'm not good enough for you? Is that slut more to your liking?' Mama grabbed the man's hand and put it on her chest. She yelled 'aren't I good enough for you?' and she called him a bad name again."
Storm seemed to be relaying this a little too calmly. His body was trembling, however his words were without emotion and they were detached. He stared ahead as he spoke.
"It must be scary to see your parents fight?" Susannah acknowledged.
Storm nodded. "I don't like having to come out for the other boy, but I like to be with Mama. I wish the man would go away so I could just be with Mama. He was real mean that night."
"Do you remember what the man did after mama yelled at him?" Susannah pressed.
"He called Mama bad names. He grabbed Mama's arm. She started screaming. He dragged her to the back door and he threw her out of the house. I hate the man!" Storm's voice finally displayed emotion . . . anger.
"The man didn't see me under the table and he went in to get a drink. Mama was hitting the door real hard and screaming for him to let her in. I snucked mama's coat and boots out of the closet and went to open the door and give them to her. The man catched me. He called me bad names and he grabbed my arms and shooked me. It hurt! He said, 'you want to help that' . . . he called mama a bad name again."
Susannah noticed that this alter would not repeat any foul language. He also was doing a child's best imitation of an adult male voice and speech pattern.
"He said 'you little' . . . he called me a bad name again too. 'You always take her side. I'm your father and you are always against me. You never fail to find a new way to try to hurt me. You always disappoint me. You're just like her. You want to make me angry! You want me to teach you a lesson. You beg for it! Okay, tonight's lesson, you want to help your mother? You can join her!' He tooked the coat and boots away from me and opened the door. Mama tried to come back in. Instead he pushed her and he threw me out."
Frank could feel Storm's trembling increase even more and he heard his teeth chattering. Frank took the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around Storm and held him tightly. He and Susannah exchanged looks.
"Storm, I want you to look around and tell me where you are," Susannah requested.
He hesitated for a minute. He looked confused and anxious. He looked around again in an effort to orient himself. "Your office," he finally answered. He was looking calmer.
"Yes. Very good, Storm. I want you to try to keep remembering that you're in my office and you are very safe. No one can hurt you here. What you're telling us about happened a very long time ago. Todd's father can't hurt you anymore."
Frank noticed Storm's trembling slowed down a little, as did the chattering of his teeth. Storm leaned into Frank even more. He lifted Frank's hand and nervously played with Frank's fingers.
Cautiously, Susannah began questioning him again. "What happened after you were out in the snow with Mama?"
"I told her I tried to bring her coat and boots and the man took them away before he threw me out. Mama hugged me. She was shaking and crying. Mama said don't be scared. She said she'd find a way to keep me warm. I wish I could go back inside and take Mama with me," Storm added wistfully.
"Do you mean inside the house or back inside Todd?" Angelo asked.
"Todd," Storm replied.
"Was Mama able to keep you warm?" Susannah inquired.
"Not real warm, but a little. Mama tried to get the garage door to open but it could only be opened from the outside with a clicker thing. Mama tooked me to this little house in the back of the big house. It had a lock on it and the man is the only one who has the key. Mama looked in the snow until she found a rock and she broke the lock and we went inside. It was real dark and scary. Mama told me to stand against the wall and not to move because there was a lot of stuff lying around and I could fall. I heard Mama go 'ohhh' but she said she was all right, that she just banged her leg into something. Mama found this big sheet thing. She said the painters left it. Mama held me, and she wrapped it around us. Mama heard scratching sounds and she got real scared and made a scream sound, but then told me don't be afraid. It was just squirrels. Mama sang the Sunshine song to me and told me stories. I love Mama. I wanted her to love me." They noticed he emphasized the word me. "So I told her the secret. I told her I wasn't Todd that I was Storm. I told her Todd went away."
Storm's words surprised Susannah, Frank and Angelo. "What did Mama say when you told her that?" Susannah kept her voice calm.
"She started to cry again. She said, 'I love you so much. It kills me to see what he does to you. I'm so sorry. You deserve a better mother than me.' I hugged her real hard and kissed her and told her that she was the best mama in the world and I was glad she was my mama. She hugged me real hard and said, 'Storm. That's a very good name for a night like this.' She kissed me on the head and said 'that's my darling, sweet boy. I promise that someday I will take you away for real. I will take you somewhere safe and happy. I promise. I'll take us both away.'" Storm started to hum You Are My Sunshine, softly, to himself.
Susannah bit her lip to hold back the tears she felt. Frank did the same. Angelo had yet to bond with Todd. Nevertheless, he sensed the tragedy in Storm's disclosure.
"It feels good to have mama holding you and protecting you," Susannah stated.
"I love my mama. I want to be the most special to her," Storm replied.
"Did you spend the whole night in shed?" Susannah did her best to control her voice.
Storm shrugged. "I guess I went inside. I don't remember." Storm suddenly threw the blanket off of him and pulled away from Frank. He stood up. "THAT'S MAMA'S BED! GET OUT! I HATE YOU! THAT'S MAMA'S BED!" Storm again went through the motions of pulling on someone. "GO AWAY! THAT'S MAMA'S BED!"
*****
Viki and Sam had returned from lunch. They noticed that several staff members were not around. Nancy told her they were down in Susannah's office. She informed them that another alter had come out and Susannah was having a session with him. Sam and Viki exchanged looks when they heard, "another alter." This made three more of them in two days. Viki and Sam left the things they had brought back for Peep, including a bag of Tootsie Roll Pops, at the nurses station and headed for Susannah's office. They heard Storm screaming as soon as they entered the outer office. They saw Terry and Eileen seated there.
"We heard a new alter came out. What's going on?" Sam asked, anxiously. He blamed himself.
"He was quiet until just a minute ago. Susannah hasn't called us in or coded him or given an order for a sedative, so he's all right," Terry assured Sam and Viki.
*****
"MAKE HER GO AWAY! MAMA BELONGS THERE. WHERE'S MAMA? SHE'S GONNA TAKE ME WITH HER. SHE PROMISED! WHERE'S MAMA? SHE PROMISED! SHE PROMISED!" Storm was looking around frantically. He headed for the window and banged his palms against the glass. "Mama! Mama! Where's mama?" He was now crying more than shouting.
Susannah walked up to him and gently turned him around. "Storm, whom do you want to go away?"
"The lady is in the man's bed. She's not my mama. Where's my mama? She's gonna take me away with her. She promised. I was in the little house with her and she said she was gonna take me away with her. She promised! She promised! Then I came out standing in her room and there was a strange lady in the bed with the man. That's where Mama is supposed to sleep. Where's Mama?" Storm looked at Susannah with desperate, frightened eyes.
*****
Eileen and Terry could see that Sam and Viki were forcing themselves to sit there and not interfere. They were relieved that Storm had quieted down again.
*****
"How did you feel when you saw a strange lady in your mama's bed?" Susannah asked Storm.
"I hate her! She's like the lady on the phone. She got Mama hurt. She made Mama go away." Storm's face was a mixture of anger, hatred and sorrow.
"Storm, do you think the way Todd's dad treated your mama had anything to do with her going away?" Susannah probed.
Storm hung his head. "I hate him so big. He was real mean to Mama. Now there's a lady here instead of Mama. NO! I HATE YOU! THAT'S MY MAMA'S BED. GET OUT!" Storm went through the motions of pulling on someone or something again.
"What did you do when you saw the lady in your mama's bed?" Susannah pressed on.
"I tried to pull her out of the bed. She said, 'what's going on here? I thought you told me the kid was sleeping.' The man said 'shut up.' He jumped out of the bed. He didn't have no clothes on. I kept yelling at the lady to go away." Storm, slid down the wall and brought his knees to his chest and started to sob.
"I want my mama. She promised to take me away from the man. Where'd my mama go? Why did she go without me?" He looked at Susannah with huge frightened eyes. "Did me or the other boys do something bad? Is that why my mama didn't take us with her? I'm scared to be alone with the man. I don't want that lady to be in Mama's bed. Now Mama won't ever come back for me." Storm's shoulders shook as he continued to wail.
Susannah cautiously put her arms around him. She was not sure how this alter would take to physical comfort from a woman other than his mother or if it would be triggering to him in some way. Storm immediately put his arms around Susannah's neck and rested his head on her shoulder. He responded like a purring kitten. Storm was desperate for love and affection. Susannah held him. She gently rocked him and gave him a few minutes to gain some control.
*****
Viki sat in the outer office nervously crossing and uncrossing her legs. Sam tried to busy himself with a magazine. Terry and Eileen looked at each other.
"He seems to have quieted down. That's a good sign," Eileen commented comfortingly.
"Yes it is. Susannah knows we're out here. She would have called if there were a problem," Terry added reassuringly.
Viki and Sam both smiled at them and nodded.
Terry and Eileen could see the fear in Viki and Sam's eyes.
*****
Storm had calmed down. He released his grip on Susannah and rested back against the wall. Storm continued spontaneously. "The man's gonna hurt me. He's real mad." Storm spoke in a detached manner. "He pulled me into the hall and dragged me to my room. He told me to stay in there until he comes back. He went back into the room with the lady. I heard him yelling at her because she was getting dressed. He started to laugh and told her maybe she should stay and teach the kid a few things. She yelled at him that he was disgusting. I heard the man hit her. She called him a bad name. He yelled at her to get out. I'm glad! Maybe now Mama will come back."
Storm seemed too calm now. Susannah asked him, gently. "What did the man do after the lady left?"
Storm got a shocked look on his face. He started to cower against the wall.
"Storm, you're safe. You're in my office. Nothing bad is happening to you now," Susannah recognized the beginning of another flashback beginning. "Storm, you don't have to feel it. You can just tell us about it. You don't have to relive it."
"I HATE YOU! I WANT MAMA!" Storm screamed. He was looking up at the father he now saw standing over him.
"Storm, your father isn't here. It's all right." Susannah took his trembling hands. "Can you feel me holding your hands? Storm! You're not back home. You are in my office here at the hospital. You're safe."
His breathing slowed a little. Storm started to cry. "The man had no clothes on. He said, 'did you get a good look? Do you like to watch, you twisted little' . . . he called me a bad name," Storm sobbed. "Mama don't like for me to say bad words. I won't do anything Mama don't like. Then she'll come back for me." Storm held on tightly to Susannah's hand. "The man was looking funny at me. I thought he was gonna hit me."
"He didn't hit you?" Susannah asked.
"No. He . . ." Storm stopped talking. His eyes glazed over. "Me and Mama was so cold. He threw us out in a storm," he whispered.
