"Case of nerves or not, I'll call you tomorrow before I come here," Nora promised. She and Bo turned to head for the doors. Nora gasped in shock when she walked straight, face to face, into Todd.

*****

For a moment there was total silence on the unit as Todd and Nora came face to face. Their eyes locked and were wide with fear at the sight of each other. Téa, Bo, Susannah and the staff near the nurses station stood perfectly still.

Bo winced when he saw the damage Todd had done to himself. The fresh deep scratches and head bruise were startling against on Todd's pale face, neck and arms.

Nora was looking into Todd's eyes so intently that she didn't see the wounds at first. When she did, she put her hand to her mouth to keep herself from gasping. "Todd," Nora finally managed to say in a trembling voice.

Todd felt himself running toward the blackness of the tunnel.

"No, Todd," the soft, loving voice of Todd's papa said. "Don't be afraid. Stay and talk to Nora. This is what you've wanted. This is what you've been asking for. Hear what Nora has to say." Todd felt the gentle, warm touch of Goodone's hand on his back. Tenderly, Goodone gave him a tiny push. "Face Nora, Todd. You'll be angry with yourself if you don't. You know you need to talk to her. You know it's more than getting her to help you. I'll be here if you need to come inside. I'll be waiting right here for you. Papa is here. You're not alone."

"Nora," Todd whispered. Out of the corner of his eye, Todd saw Bo. Those near Todd saw his muscles stiffen and his pupils dilate in fear. "Are you here to take me to jail?" Todd asked Bo.

"No. Absolutely not. Why do you think that?" Bo asked. He felt horrible that punishment was the only thing Todd associated him with.

Todd cast his eyes down and hung his head. Then he slowly raised his eyes, without lifting his head. He glanced at Bo and then looked down again. "Because I asked Nora to come here." Todd's voice was barely audible.

"There's nothing illegal about asking someone to come see you," Bo replied gently. "It's okay to do that."

Todd raised his eyes again and stared into Bo's eyes for a moment and then into Nora's and then back to Bo's. "I didn't kill Georgie. I didn't rape anyone. I swear. I'm sorry I made Asa have a heart attack. Is he okay? Did he die?"

"No, Todd. Asa is fine. He didn't die." Bo looked into Todd's eyes. "Todd, do you know how long it's been since you . . . since we were all at the lodge? Do you know how long you've been in the hospital?"

Todd looked confused. He shrugged. "A . . . um . . . a-a couple of months," Todd guessed.

The staff knew that Todd had no real concept of when it was or how long he'd been hospitalized, but Bo and Nora were stunned at the level of Todd's confusion and disorientation.

"Asa's doing well," Bo repeated. "Everyone is okay. We understand why . . . uh . . . we understand son . . . Todd . . . you don't have to worry."

Todd thought for a moment and he remembered what he wanted . . . why he asked to see Nora in the first place. "Still, I scared everyone with the fake bomb. I made Asa have a heart attack. I made Rachel confess. I kidnapped Téa and I hit her." Todd lifted his hands until they were behind his head. He laced his fingers and brought his hands down on top of his head. "I'll go with you Bo. I won't put up a fight."

"Todd, stop this! Bo is not here to arrest you," Nora said firmly. This frightened, submissive Todd confused her.

Todd looked from Nora to Bo and back again. "Oh." Todd nodded and swallowed hard. "I get it. You brought Bo here to protect you, from me."

Nora looked uncomfortable. She licked her dry lips. "Not exactly. Bo came here with me for moral support. We also visited with my sister." Nora paused for a moment. "You do know that Susannah is my sister?"

Todd nodded. "I know. You love her right? I mean not everyone loves their brother or sister. My sister Tina can't stand me."

Todd's question surprised Nora. "Yes. I love my sister." Nora glanced self-consciously in Susannah's direction.

"Then you'd care if she was in danger?" Todd asked.

"Todd, what is this all about?" Nora was feeling more uncomfortable by the second.

"Can I talk to you alone, in the dayroom?" Todd requested.

"No!" Nora answered too quickly and too harshly.

Todd hung his head and looked down at the floor again.

In a softer tone, Nora added, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'd just feel more comfortable if someone were around. Is that all right with you?"

"You're afraid of me," Todd stated.

"I'm not comfortable around you," Nora responded.

"I don't blame you Nora. I remember what I did to you."

Nora took a deep breath. She wasn't ready to get into this now. She needed a minute to compose herself. "We can go to the dayroom. If Bo and a couple of the technicians come with us."

"You must have heard I'm so crazy that I always have to have staff near me, so what's the difference." Todd turned to Frank and Angelo. "You can come." Todd headed for the dayroom. Frank and Angelo followed closely behind.

Nora cast an uncomfortable glance at her sister and husband. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I'll be right outside the dayroom," Susannah whispered to her sister.

Bo took Nora's arm. "Come on Red. I'll be with you."

*****

Todd stood behind one of the club chairs. Frank and Angelo stood near him.

"Hey, buddy. Relax. It'll be okay. Why don't you sit down," Frank suggested.

As soon as Nora and Bo walked into the room Todd headed for Nora. "Bo and Frank and Angelo are in the room. Can I please talk to you over there?" Todd pointed to the dining area.

Nora heard the desperation in Todd's voice. Her heart began to pound at the thought of even being a few feet away from protection.

Todd looked at her with pleading eyes. "I know you think I'm a monster. I didn't ask you here to change your mind. I think you'll feel safer once you talk to me. Please Nora!"

Nora knew Todd would feel better about himself if she immediately stated that she didn't think he was a monster. She couldn't bring herself to say that because there was some truth to what Todd just said. Nora unconsciously pulled herself to her full height and broadened her shoulders as much as possible.

"All right Todd. You can say what you have to say to me over there." Nora motioned toward the dining area.

"Thank you," Todd said softly.

Nora and Todd each took a seat around the table and faced each other. Todd chose the chair that would keep his back toward Angelo, Frank and Bo. Todd anxiously rubbed his sweaty palms on his lap. "I know you don't want to be here so I'll make it quick." Todd's voice was barely above a whisper. "I want you to be my lawyer again."

Nora sighed. She knew this was coming. Still, she was not prepared. "Sam and Téa are your legal team. They've done an excellent job representing you."

"I'm not saying they're not good lawyers. I'm saying they're not good lawyers for me right now. I want you."

Nora laughed nervously. "Because I did such a wonderful job for you the first time?"

"You purposely got me put away the first time," Todd stated. There was no anger in his voice.

Nora looked down at the table for a few seconds. "Yes I did. I almost got disbarred for it. You hated me so much for it that you stalked me and tried to rape me."

Todd’s eyes filled with tears. "I won't try to hurt you when you do it this time."

Nora was confused. "When I do what?"

"When you get me locked away. I mean I know I'm already locked away." Todd began speaking quickly. He tripped over some of his words. "I mean locked away somewhere far from here. Or you can have Bo put me back in jail. I know all of you are doing things to make me crazy. That's okay. I'm not mad. You want me locked away. I get that. I want that too. You won't have to make me crazy anymore. Just become my lawyer and make Viki and Sam and your sister send me away from here. I promise I won't try to escape and come back here. Just help me and you'll never have to see my ugly face again."

"Why do you want this? Why do you want to be sent away?" Nora asked.

Todd was shocked that Nora didn't immediately jump at the chance. "Why do you think! Why do you want me far away from you?"

"I didn't say that I did," Nora responded.

Todd banged his hand on the table. "Don't play games with me, Nora!"

Frank walked over to Todd. "Everything okay, buddy?"

Todd looked up at Frank. "I'm not hurting her."

"I know," Frank acknowledged. "You seem upset. I want to make sure you're okay and able to stay safe."

Todd took a deep breath. He looked up at Frank again. "I'm okay. I'm staying safe."

Nora felt a little better when she saw how quickly Frank responded to any sign of Todd losing control. "We're okay," Nora told Frank.

Frank gave Todd's shoulder a gentle reassuring squeeze. "Okay, buddy. You go back to your meeting with Nora."

As soon as he felt a modicum of privacy, Todd began again. "Nora, you love your sister. You just said so. You care about Viki and Sam and Kevin and Téa. You care about almost everyone in this town. You've always wanted me far away from you and everyone you care about. This is your chance. Viki has to take care of me. She feels obligated. So does Sam. Kevin does what Viki wants. Téa has some kind of crazy idea that we can have a life together someday. She thinks I'm gonna get better."

"Don't you think you're going to get better?" Nora probed.

Todd looked at Nora and smiled. "You don't have to be afraid to say what you really feel. I'm not as stupid as everyone thinks I am. You and Bo both know I'm never going to get better because no one can fix what's wrong with me. I'm evil. Your sister can't shrink that out of me. You can tell Bo and Clint and Asa that they don't have to bother keeping me crazy. I want what they want. I want me out of their life and out of everyone's life."

"Todd, I know this is difficult for you to believe. No one is doing this to you and no one wants you to go to a hospital far away from those that love you. Clint is in Arizona and has been for a long while now. Asa, honestly, could care less about you. Bo and I certainly do not want you going to another hospital."

Todd stared into Nora's eyes. He nodded. "Okay, I understand. It's all right. You're entitled after what I did. I know being in a hospital, even a loony bin hospital, is too good for me. I'll go to prison. I deserve to be punished for the things I did. I deserve to be punished bad. I'll go back to Statesville. You tell Bo to make the arrangements. I can be ready . . ."

"Todd! Listen to me." Nora began to say each word slowly and deliberately. "No one wants you to leave this hospital except to go home someday. We don't want you to go to another hospital or to prison."

Todd looked shocked. Then he looked confused. "I thought you cared about Viki and Sam. I mean you and Sam had a thing. You must have loved him once. I thought you liked Téa. You wanted her to work for you. You always tried to keep her away from me. You tried to help her divorce me. I know you don't think any more of Blair than you do of me, but what about Starr? Don't you even care about my little girl?"

"Of course I care about all of them. For some reason everyone you've mentioned loves you. They love you with all their heart. It would destroy them if you walked out of their life and I'm not going to be the one to help you do it."

"Please don't sacrifice all of those people just because you hate me so much you want to be able to actually see me suffer."

"What are you talking about?" Nora asked impatiently.

"I told you I'm not stupid!" Todd said angrily.

"I never said you were stupid. The one thing I never thought about you was that you were stupid. Now tell me what you meant."

"If I'm far away or in Statesville you won't be able to see me suffer. You care more about getting that satisfaction than you do saving everyone. Nora! I'm dangerous. You know that. I hurt people! That's what I do. That's what I've always done, all my life. You know what I'm capable of. Everyone around me ends up hurt or dead. Do you want that for Sam and Viki? Do you want that for Téa and Starr? Do you want that for your own sister!"

"Todd, you need to listen to me."

"No! You need to help me!"

"I am helping you. I'm trying to help you to see that the best place for you is here. The best thing for your family is to have you here. They'd go out of their minds' with worry if you were far away. They'd die inside if anything bad happened to you," Nora added.

Todd looked into Nora's eyes and then looked down at his lap. "What about you?"

"What about me?" Nora didn't understand.

"You want me far away. You wouldn't feel bad if something happened to me." Todd said this more like a question than a statement.

Susannah told Nora that Todd wanted more from her than legal help. Nora realized what Todd was asking and she knew what he wanted to hear. Her stomach knotted up. "I've never told Viki, Sam or Susannah that I wanted you in a different hospital."

Tears welled up in Todd's eyes again. "You'd feel better if I was dead or far away or locked up in a prison away from here. Why can't you just say it?"

"That's not true. I don't want you dead." Nora was able to say honestly.

"The dead can't suffer, right?" Todd snapped.

"The dead can't be helped either and I think you can be helped. From what my sister told me you are making excellent progress and . . ."

"Cut the crap Nora! I know the routine. I know what everyone that comes to see me is told. Humor the lunatic. Make him think he's gonna get out of here someday. Make him think he can have a family and a life just like everyone else. Tell him he's not evil. Tell him he won't destroy everyone that he cares about. Tell him that he's good enough to be loved and he won't be left behind. You think I don't know that your sister and Viki and Sam and Téa prepared you well before you came here?"

"No one prepared me Todd. I've seen the effort you have put into getting what you want. If you put that same effort into getting well, you can do it. You can have all those things you just mentioned. You already have the love of your family. Look how long they've been here with you, at your side. Viki, Sam and Téa chose to give up parts of their life because they want to spend time with you and they want to help you."

"I don't want that! I don't want anyone giving up anything for me. They're wasting their time. I'm not worth it. I don't want them to want to spend time with me. Don't you get it! They should hate me. They should hate me the way you do and the way Bo does. You don't know what I'm capable of."

Nora laughed. "Todd, I of all people know what you're capable of."

"No you don't! What I did to you is nothing compared to what I can do. It doesn't matter if I love someone or if I'd rather die than hurt them. I hurt them anyway. I do horrible, perverted, disgusting things. I do them to people I love and then they hate me and they leave me." Todd held up his hands. "You see these Nora. All I have to do is touch someone and it starts happening. My touch is poison. It's evil. It destroys." More tears formed in Todd's eyes. This time they spilled down his cheeks. He quickly brushed them away with the palms of his hands. "It's the same if someone touches me. You were right. Everyone was right! I'm a monster! I'm an evil monster that can hurt and kill just by touch."

"Todd, that's nonsense. No one ever thought that about you or about anyone. No one can harm someone just by their touch. You hurt people out of rage and fear, rage and fear that was triggered by the terrible things that were done to you. No one realized it at the time. I'm not excusing what you did . . ."

"Are you forgiving it?"

Nora could see the answer Todd was looking for in his eyes. "I . . . I . . . Todd I don't know how I feel. You have issues to work through and so do I."

Todd looked crestfallen. He looked down at his lap again. "I wasn't asking you to forgive me," he whispered. "I know you never will. No one ever will and I don't deserve it. I know that. Everyone in this town hates me. They probably all hate me back in Chicago too. All I want is your help. You won't even really be helping me. You'll be helping everyone around me including you and Bo. You talk to them, Nora. You tell them you're my lawyer now and I have rights. You tell them it's my life and I'm not stupid and I can go where I want. You get them to send me to a loony bin far away or back to prison. You don't have to pretend it's not what you and Bo want because I know it is. I know how much you both hate me and want me punished."

Nora tried to stay calm. "You need help right now, Todd, not punishment."

"There is no help for me. Oh come on Nora. You know that."

"I know that Susannah is an excellent psychiatrist and she can help you if you want to be helped."

Todd looked directly into Nora's eyes. "What do you want?"

"What do I want for you?" Nora needed clarification.

"If you had your choice, you'd want me far away, wouldn't you?"

"Todd, I'm not your family. What I want is immaterial."

Todd looked away. He bit his lip to keep from crying again. "Then you do want me sent away. You always did. That's why you made sure I'd go to Statesville. You always knew I was evil."

"I wanted you to go to Statesville because you committed a horrendous crime."

"So did Powell. You didn't want him in jail for what he did. He raped Marty too, but you helped Powell. You cared about him. You liked him."

Nora took a deep breath. She was regretting agreeing to this. "Powell was genuinely sorry for what he did to Marty, on top of that he was forced, by you Todd."

"I didn't force him to rape those nurses or to try to rape Rebecca. I didn't force him to hold a gun to Rebecca's head. I didn't force him to hold a gun to my head and to make me beg for my life. I didn't force him to shove a sweatband in my mouth. Powell hurt me but you still cared about him. You still helped him. You still kept him out of jail. What about Rachel? Did I force her to kill Georgie? You wanted me to go to jail for that instead of Rachel. She saw everyone was blaming me and she let them!"

"Rachel paid for her crime. She went to Statesville, the same as you did."

"But you didn't want her to go. You wanted it to be me. Even when she finally confessed, you tried to get her to say it was me. You wanted me to go back to prison for something I didn't do and if you could have you would have let me go in her place. Wouldn't you!"

"Yes!" Nora looked off to the side. "Yes. I'm sorry Todd. I would have. Rachel is my baby. She's my child. Georgie drove her to it. Rachel isn't a violent person. She made a mistake."

"But I didn't just make a mistake. I'm no good through and through . . . a loser . . . someone that causes heartache and pain to everyone. So I belong put away for good. Then help me! You know you want to. So just do it! You'll get what you've always wanted. You get them to send me away or let me out of here and I swear to you that you'll never see me again. I won't ever hurt anyone or be a problem to anyone ever again."

"It's not what I want now." Nora saw the desperation on Todd's wounded face. She also saw that he was getting agitated. "Todd, I'm sorry. I'm not going to help you run away from everyone that loves you and I'm certainly not going to help put you in a position that will allow you to hurt yourself."

"You never helped me. You never cared about me." Todd started to look dazed. "You let him hurt me. You left me. You lied. You said you loved me. You said I was a good boy and then you let him hurt me. You said I was your perfect, beautiful boy. You promised to take me with you and you left me! I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't even move. I couldn't let go of the note. I wanted to run but I couldn't move. Then I found you and you sent me back again. You loved him more than you did me and you left me to go to him. Why did you say you loved me if you didn't? You made me keep hoping that you'd help me and that you'd come back for me, but you kept leaving me with the monster."

Nora sat transfixed by what Todd was saying so softly that she had to strain to hear him. His voice sounded detached. His stare was almost blank. Nora noticed Todd's eyes glaze over. She watched as his head lowered slightly and he blinked a couple of times. When Todd looked directly into Nora's eyes again, the hair on the back of her neck stood up. All she could see was fury and hatred. She froze. Nora knew all Frank, Angelo and Bo could see was Todd's back.

"You did Nora," he whispered in a voice so low that only she could hear. "You walked out. You protected Powell. You protected him, not me. You left me to the monsters. You were supposed to care, but you didn't. It was a lie! It's always a lie. Do you wanna hear if the punishment was enough to satisfy you? Do you wanna hear what they did in Statesville? I'm sure you always asked Powell how he was doing when you came to visit him. You never came to ask me. You should have visited me and asked me, Nora. You would have gotten great satisfaction. It would have made your day! Let me tell you now. Let me tell you about Garret, a yard guard. Do you know what his favorite game was? It was taking his nightstick and beating me with it on parts of my body that no one would see. Do you wanna know what he liked to do with that nightstick when he was finished beating me with it?"

"No. I think we need to end this now." Nora started to get up.

He jumped up and grabbed her by the hair before she, Frank, Angelo or Bo had a chance to react. He pulled her over to the wall and yanked her head back by her hair. He placed his other hand under her jaw so that she could not move her head or open her mouth to call out or speak.

Bo rushed to them.

"Bo! Wait," Frank called out. He knew Nora could end up being hurt if Bo tried to grab Todd.

Bo stopped in his tracks. He understood why Frank called out to him.

Angelo went to the door to get Susannah and more staff. "Todd, you need to let go of Nora right now!" Frank said firmly, but calmly.

Téa had jumped up when Angelo stuck his head out of the door and called to Susannah. After telling Téa to stay put, Susannah told Janet to get six more staff members and she rushed into the dayroom with Angelo.

Frank slowly inched closer as did Bo. "Todd. I said to let go of Nora," Frank ordered.

"Sorry, Frankie boy. Todd went ta-ta. You're dealing with me now!" He rubbed his cheek against Nora's. "And so are you," he purred.

"Who’s out?" Susannah asked.

"Razor. That's what most of them thought put this scar on my face. Some of the guards and other prisoners liked Razor Boy, some just Razor. 'Come on Razor Boy. Show us what you've got. Would you like to have a matching scar on the other side? Get on your knees Razor. Do me Razor Boy, if you wanna see tomorrow. Bend over Razor, NOW!'"

Nora jumped when he shouted that last word in her ear. Her blood ran cold.

"So where were we Nora . . . oh yeah . . . I was about to tell you about Garret. Oh he looooved his nightstick. He loved to play all kinds of games with it. You wanna know what one of his favorite games was? Hmmm?"

"Razor," Bo called out. "I'm sorry you were hurt at Statesville. I didn't know that was happening to you. That's my fault. I'm the cop. I should have watched out for your safety. I'm the one you should be angry with for that. Your beef is with me. Let Nora go." Bo was now within arm's length of Razor. He saw that Nora was more frightened than hurt. Neither he nor any of the others wanted to spook Razor and have him accidentally or purposely snap Nora's neck.

"Nora hasn't heard the best part yet. She wanted Todd to suffer. She wanted the monster to hurt him because he hurt her." Razor tugged on Nora's hair with a little more force. "Didn't you Nora? See if this is enough suffering for you. Hear what it was you wanted Todd to go back to prison for instead of your precious Powell and your sweet little Rachel. Garret . . . oh he loved Todd. Todd was his favorite boy toy. So ol' Razor had to come out because Todd couldn't take it! Pete's job was to handle tough, but what Garret had in mind for Todd was ol' Razor's job to handle. Garret would get Todd alone and Todd had a good idea what was coming, no pun intended, Nora." He squeezed her jaw tightly.

Nora couldn't move her head. She was able to look to the side and see Razor's eyes. They were filled with pain and rage.

Razor went on. "Once he was alone with Garret, Todd would stick around for some of the beatings sometimes, mostly Pete would take them for Todd, but ya wanna know what made Todd run to his papa and what ol' Razor had to go through? Garret would make us take our clothes off. He'd make us strip in front of him, real slow. Then he'd beat us and he'd make us get down on our knees and beg for him to stop. He'd make us do that for about five minutes while he'd be getting hot. Once Garret was ready, he'd make us rest our forehead against that filthy floor. Then the real fun started. He always liked to start by beating us across the ass with his nightstick. That would get Garret hard. I'd always be the one out by then. Garret would get in back of me and shove his dick into me as hard as he could. Sometimes so hard that I'd fall flat down and my face would smash into the floor and I'd bite my tongue or lip. He'd like that. He liked when I'd bleed. He liked when I'd bleed everywhere. Sometimes he'd use that nightstick of his to make me bleed. It was lots bigger than his dick, Nora. Sometimes some of the chosen few, inmates that were Garret's favorites, would get their chance with us. The other inmates knew to keep their hands off. We were Garret's property. He decided who got to beat us, and who got to torture us, and who got to fuck us."

Razor had said those last six words slowly and deliberately and through clenched teeth. He slightly tightened his grip on Nora's hair and jaw. Razor continued. "Garret also decided who got to watch. Ohhh, you had to be one of Garret's reeeally good friends to get a ticket to watch what he and some of the others did to us. Some of them were other guards. Sometimes they just watched. Sometimes he let them share in his fun. Maybe he should have let you watch Nora. You too Bo," Razor called out. "You both would have had the time of your lives watching what that miserable motherfucker and some of the others did to us."

Nora saw Razor's eyes glaze over the way Todd's had. She immediately knew she was looking into Todd's eyes again.

Todd looked dazed and confused for a moment. That was quickly replaced with terror when he realized his face was nearly pressed against Nora's. Todd gasped when he felt Nora's hair in one hand and her jaw in the other. Todd saw himself back at that beach house. He flashed back to the night he almost raped Nora.

Nora felt Todd's hands release her. She saw his eyes go blank for a second. Then an innocent look she'd never seen came over Todd.

Todd's legs seemed to crumble under him, as if they couldn't hold him up. He fell backward. Bo, the nearest to Todd, caught him.

"Whoa," Bo said. He held onto Todd tightly as he lowered him to the floor. Todd started to cry. The cry was that of a baby. Bo looked up at Nora. "Red, are you all right?"

Nora rubbed her jaw and answered in a trembling voice. "Yes. I'm fine. He just scared me. My God. I don't think that's Todd."

Susannah, Eileen and Frank rushed to Todd.

Bo continued to cradle Todd in his arms as Todd continued to cry loudly. "Hey Todd. It's all right. You didn't hurt Nora. She's okay. She just said she's okay."

Susannah and Frank immediately knew who was out. They'd know that cry and that innocent face anywhere. Some of the other staff members weren't around the last time he was out and they weren't certain this was the alter they heard about.

Just to be sure, Susannah pulled out the locket she wore from under her shirt and let it dangle as she leaned over. Slowly the crying ceased. The baby reached for Susannah's locket and put it in his mouth and began to suck on it.

"You wanna tell me what's going on?" Bo asked as he continued to hold the baby.

Nora looked down at the child in Bo's arms. "I'd like to know that too."

"This is an infant alter. He's about five months old. We refer to him as the baby or call him Baby when we talk to him directly."

Both Bo and Nora's mouths dropped open in shock.

Bo looked at the infant in his arms again. "I heard there was a five-month-old alter but I-I . . . he sounds just like a real baby."

"This is for real?" Nora directed her question to Susannah.

"Yeah," Susannah confirmed as she stroked the baby's head.

"Why was he crying? He doesn't understand what just happened here does he?" Bo asked.

"No," Susannah answered. "He was most likely frightened. He came out suddenly saw strange faces and then he fell over."

"He can't walk, or even stand?" Nora asked.

"Physically, he's very much like a typical five-month-old," Susannah informed them. "Jeff, Angelo, get a gurney," she instructed. Susannah tried to call Todd and some of the other alters to the front, without success.

Bo stared at the baby for a few moments. He touched the baby's hand with his index finger. "Hey there little fella. You like that locket don't ya."

The baby wrapped the fingers of his left hand around Bo's finger. He stared into Bo's eyes with his large innocent ones. He let go of the locket and stuck his first three right fingers into Bo's mouth as Bo talked. The baby smiled. He began to make gurgling and cooing sounds.

Bo smiled back. He chuckled the baby's cheek, making him laugh. Bo looked up at Susannah. "He's a cutie."

Nora was neither smiling nor laughing. She stood staring at the baby. She couldn't believe the sight in front of her. She could actually see the infant that was presenting through Todd's body and face. There was an innocence . . . a certain wonder of the new world around him that she'd only seen in the faces' of infants. Nora could not get her brain to accept that the man that was pleading for her help, forgiveness and caring, and the man who just attacked her and terrified her, and at the same time broke her heart and sent her guilt into overdrive with his story of horrendous abuse in the prison she sent him to, and this totally helpless infant were all living in the same body. Nora could still feel Razor's hand on her jaw. She slowly knelt down. She looked at the baby closely. Nora's hand trembled slightly as she reached out to touch his cheek.

The baby turned in Nora's direction. He looked up at her and smiled with what Nora could only describe to herself as an infant's smile. There was something special about it. She remembered the first time she had gotten Rachel to smile. The baby reached up and grasped Nora's hair in his hand. Nora was startled at the difference. This felt the same way it did when Rachel would do that, not at all the way it felt when Razor had her hair in his hand only minutes ago.

Nora rubbed the baby's chest gently. "I'll bet your mommy and daddy are going to be surprised when they hear you're out."

The baby stuck his fingers in Nora's mouth and laughed.

Bo had been watching Nora closely. He thought for sure her reaction to this child touching her hair and mouth would freak her out. It didn't. Bo could see that this sweet and joyous child had touched her the way he had him. Then Bo thought of something frightening.

"Todd can't stay this way forever, can he?"

"He's come out of it before. The baby or Adam, an autistic alter, come out in times of extreme stress and when no other alter can handle being out," Susannah explained.

"Are you saying Todd was so traumatized by discovering that he was attacking me that he went away or inside or whatever you call it?"

"Yes, I believe that's exactly what happened," Susannah confirmed.

"Oh God," Nora said softly. "Maybe Sam was right? Maybe I shouldn't have met with Todd?"

"No, Red. It seemed that Todd needed to say what he said to you. I couldn't hear much of it until the end, when I was standing close to you. Susannah," Bo asked, "has Todd or this Razor ever talked to you about what happened at Statesville? I swear. I knew nothing about it."

"This is the first time Razor has been out. I never met him. Todd and Pete have both alluded to being hurt in prison. They both shut down whenever I would press the issue."

"Oh great!" Nora exclaimed. "Not only did I cause this baby to come out, I caused another alter to appear."

"Being with you probably did trigger Razor," Susannah confirmed. "He obviously has issues with you and what happened to him at Statesville. Razor coming out is not a bad thing. Now that I know he's in the system, I can try to get him out and try to get him to talk about what happened to him and to Todd and Pete and any of the others that handled Statesville."

"Man! I should have followed up on what was going on with Todd." Tears welled up in Bo's eyes. "I was so damn happy to finally see him go to prison that I didn't care what happened to him once he got there. If I knew that was happening to Todd I would have put a stop to it. I'm going to call the prison and find out if Garret and any of the other guards that were in on this still work there."

"Do you think Viki and Sam or Téa know what happened to Todd when he was in prison?" Nora asked.

"No. Todd never told any of them or they would have told me. I don't think Todd remembers all of what actually happened. Razor is holding most of the memories. I do remember seeing the name Garret in Ray Martino's notes. Todd shut down when he tried to get him to talk about it too. All he admitted was that Garret had it in for him. Todd told Ray he was afraid of him because he had a badge. He said he felt like a scared little runt because he was afraid to fight back."

Suddenly the baby started to squirm in Bo's arms. He started to cry again. He flailed his arms.

"Hey, what's the matter little pal? I'm sorry, were we not paying attention to you?" Bo tried to chuckle the baby's cheek again.

The baby continued to cry.

"Susannah, he feels a little warm now," Bo announced.

Susannah felt the baby's forehead. He felt like he was running a low-grade fever.

"Janet, please do vitals on him, and I'll need a stethoscope too," Susannah directed.

"Sure, be right back," Janet said and left to get what was needed.

Susannah felt the baby's stomach. "It’s not distended," she commented. She felt to see if he was wet. "Nope, he's dry."

When the baby moved his head, Nora pointed to his neck and asked, "What's that?"

"Damn!" Susannah exclaimed. She pulled down the top of his gown. A rash had formed over the baby's neck and appeared to be working its way down his shoulders, chest and back.

"What is it? What's wrong with him?" There was anxiety in Nora's voice. It was obvious to all that she cared a great deal.

"He's got a walloping dose of Todd's medication going through him and he's reacting to it. I was hoping this wouldn't happen."

Nora and Bo looked as shocked as they felt.

"You're saying that this little guy is overdosing on the same medication that Todd's body can handle with no problem?" Bo asked disbelievingly. He instinctively held the baby closer to him in a protective way.

"Most likely. He's having a reaction for sure."

Janet came back and handed Susannah a stethoscope.

"Thanks" Susannah said to Janet. She touched Bo's arm. "Do you think you can pull him against you so that I can have access to his back? I need to listen to his lungs to make sure there's no wheezing or stridors."

Bo hugged the baby to him tightly. "Okay. Shhhhh. This won't hurt. Shhhh," Bo gently tried to sooth the crying child.

Nora had heard of people going into anaphylactic shock from allergic reactions. She asked Susannah if that's what was happening to the baby.

"No," Susannah answered as she handed the stethoscope back to Janet, "at least not right now. His lungs are clear and his breathing is easy. He has a rash, not hives." Susannah moved out of the way so Janet could have access to the baby. Janet helped Bo turn him into a good position for vitals.

"Temp's 100.6 . . . BP's 90/50 . . . pulse is 130 . . . respiration 48, but he's still crying," Janet announced, one by one, as she took his vitals.

"That's not normal. I mean those aren't normal findings are they?" Nora asked anxiously. She was feeling guilty. She wondered if it was something she said that triggered this.

"He's running a low grade fever, but the rest of his vitals are not that out of range for a five-month-old. That's what we go by with this alter. His heart rate is only slightly elevated," Susannah explained, further shocking Bo and Nora. She turned back to Janet. "When he's in his bed, start an IV on him. Use an armboard to stabilize it. Give him 500 CCs of normal saline over four hours. Start him on Benadryl, 25 milligrams IV, four times a day and Tylenol, 80-milligram suppositories, every six hours. Use Elocon cream, 0.1 percent, once a day, as a topical." Susannah sighed. "If he starts to scratch himself despite that, we're going to have to put mittens on him. Hold off on his regular meds for the rest of the day. If he's still out tomorrow, make sure everyone knows to follow the meds and dosages for the baby. I'll do the paperwork on everything shortly." Susannah placed her hand on Bo's arm again. "We need to take him to his room now."

Angelo and Jeff were standing by with the gurney they brought over.

Bo realized he was still holding the crying child tightly. He lessened his hold.

Jeff knelt down. "Bo, we're gonna take him now. Just lay him in my arms."

The baby continued to wail as he was placed on the gurney.

"Let's go," Susannah directed.

Secrets 120, Page 2