Kevin knew he had to get through to this little boy.

"Tom, look at me. Tom." Kevin called gently.

With his chin still nearly down to his chest, Tom looked up at Kevin. Kevin could see nothing but pain in those large eyes.

"Tom, I promise you. Téa does not love me. Most of the time she doesn't even like me. We both care about you and Todd and everyone who lives with you inside Todd. That is why we are always both here. Sometimes I get lonely and I like Téa's company and she puts up with me. Téa would always rather be with you than with me." As Kevin said these words he dreaded having to look Téa or anyone in that room in the eye again. He hated himself for feeling the way he did and he hated the realization that every word he just said to Tom was true. He finally saw the situation as it was. He was running after Téa like lovesick puppy. He had used Téa and thrown her away. Now that he was alone he realized his mistake. He knew it was too late. He knew it all along and he also knew that he'd never forgive himself if he did anything to hurt Todd or any of the alters. Still he had trouble controlling that selfish side of himself that he hated so much. The side that used people, especially women. 'Oh Grandpa Victor, I have your blood in me. Is that it? Is that what drives the part of me that's a miserable selfish bastard and a user?' Kevin thought to himself.

"Then how come Téa wants to skate with you instead of me?" Tom asked as he began to cry again.

"She doesn’t! Téa didn't know I would be here. I came here to see my mom. Then I heard you were out so I came here to see you. I didn't know you'd think I was here to skate with Tea."

"Honest?" Tom asked through his tears.

"Honest." Kevin replied.

"You wanted to see me?" Tom sounded disbelieving.

"Yes. Tom I knew you didn't like me and I kind of knew why. I wanted to get things clear between us."

Viki and Téa were shocked that Kevin knew what had been bothering Tom all along and never said anything them. Téa, who had been feeling great compassion for Kevin, was now feeling angry with him. Viki was feeling some anger too. She couldn't believe he would let Tom suffer when he knew what was causing that suffering.

Sam thought he remembered Susannah telling him that she discussed this with Kevin. He was not sure anymore. He was trying to remember. All he could feel was some relief that this was out in the open.

Susannah was very proud of Kevin. She knew how difficult this had been for him and how ashamed of himself he was feeling.

"You care if I liked you or not?" Tom asked.

"I care very much." Kevin responded truthfully.

"How come?" Tom asked.

"Because I like you. Because I'd like to love you the same way I do Timmy. I think you're a good and smart boy and very brave and talented." Kevin meant every word.

"Me! You think that stuff about me!" Tom was shocked.

Kevin smiled. "Tom do you know what respect means?"

Tom shook his head.

Kevin tried to put it in a way Tom would understand. "It means to think very highly of someone." Kevin could see Tom still didn't comprehend. "It means that I think you are one terrific little boy." Kevin tried.

"I am?" Tom smiled a small smile.

"Yes you are!" Kevin laughed. "I wanted you to know I felt that way and that I'd like to be your friend."

Tom looked like he wanted to say yes. Then he looked sad again. "Do you still hate Todd? Are you gonna be mean to him and yell at him? I don't like yelling."

"No, I don't hate Todd. Not at all. I will try very hard not to be mean to him and no yelling. I promise."

"Do you love Todd?" Tom asked.

Kevin hesitated or a minute. Tom kept his eyes on him. "No, Tom. I don't love Todd. Not yet. Are you upset with me because I feel that way?" Kevin knew he had to be honest with Tom.

"That's okay. I don't think Todd loves you yet either. As long as you love Timmy, cause he loves you a lot."

"I love Timmy very much." Kevin hesitated for a second. "Would it be all right with you if I love you too?"

Tom looked away.

"Tom, it's okay. You don't have to love me back. I know you hardly know me."

"You're not mad?" Tom asked, admitting he didn't feel love for Kevin.

"No, I haven't given you any reason to love me yet. You've already given me lots of reasons to love you."

"Are you sure you're not Téa's boyfriend and she doesn't love you?" Tom asked once more for reassurance.

"I'm very sure." Kevin declared. Then asked Tom, "So, are we okay? You wanna be friends?"

With a slightly wider smile on his face, Tom nodded.

"You just tell someone when you want to play some catch with me. I think we can sneak in a game in the hallway," Kevin winked at Tom and stood up to leave.

"Do you miss being with your little boy?" Tom suddenly asked.

"Yes, I do. Very much." Kevin replied.

Tom could tell Kevin was sad. "You can stay and watch me and Téa and skate if you want too." Tom offered generously. His sweet, unselfish and forgiving nature won out.

"I'd love that. Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Not if you don't skate with us," Tom answered innocently.

Kevin laughed. "No, I'm happy to be part of the audience."

Tom suddenly remembered his earlier actions. Frank felt him trying to stand up. He saw that he was calm and would stay safe. He helped him up. Tom headed for Susannah. "I'm sorry I threw the skates down. Are you mad at me?"

"No, I understand. But throwing things is not okay. Maybe next time you can talk about what's upsetting you instead of throwing something, hmmmm?"

Tom looked frightened. "Are you going to punish me? It's okay. I can take it."

"No, you will never be punished here. No punishment. It's okay to get as angry as you want. I just want you to learn different ways of coping with your anger," Susannah explained.

"Do I still get to keep the skates?" Tom's chin quivered. Tears filled his eyes again.

"Yes, they're yours. You get to keep them," Susannah replied with a smile.

"Are they okay? Did I break them?" Tom now looked worried as a tear slid down each cheek.

"They're pretty tough. They didn't break." Susannah stroked his head.

Tom ran to Téa. "Kevin says you don't love him and that you love me."

Téa was still angry with Kevin. However, this wasn't the time to show it. "Mijo, it's very true. I love you so much . . ."

"Your heart sings?" Tom finished her thought with a question. He remembered what Viki once told him.

Téa smiled. She remembered that too. "Yes, mijo. My heart sings very loudly and so happy when I think of how much I love you." Téa stroked his cheek.

The light came back into Tom's eyes. For now, Téa had chased away the despair. "Can we skate now?" Tom asked eagerly.

"As soon as we get our skates on," Téa smiled. She headed to the nurses station to collect her skates.

Tom ran to where Sam and Viki stood. "Me and Téa are gonna skate. It's okay for Kevin to watch. I told him he could," Tom didn't realize that everyone in the room had already heard.

Tom ran back to Susannah. "Can I put my skates on now?"

"You sure can. Come, you sit over here," Susannah pointed to a chair, "and I'll put them on you."

While Susannah was helping Tom get his new skates on Kevin headed over to Viki and Sam.

"You'd better mean every word you said to that child," Sam warned.

"I do Sam. I swear it to you." Kevin knew Sam had a right to be angry and distrustful of him.

Kevin looked at his mother. He could see she was angry with him. "Mom . . ." Kevin began.

Viki held up her hand to stop him. "Not now, Kevin. We'll talk later, when we're alone."

Kevin nodded. 'I screwed up again,' he thought sadly.

"Téa look!" Tom called over to Téa. She was sitting in a chair. She had just finished putting her skates on. Tom held out his legs in front of him. "Look! I have my new skates on!"

Téa held her legs out. "Me too! So who's ready do have some fun?"

"Me! Me! Téa!" Tom answered seriously.

Tom started to stand up. "Honey, hold it." Susannah gently pushed him back to his seat. "Do you remember what we told you about safe skating?"

Tom thought for a second. "Oh yeah." He turned in Sam's direction and called out, "Coach! Are you still gonna hold me?"

"You bet I am Boomer." Sam headed for him. It had been a long time since Viki saw a smile that big on Sam's face or so much life in his eyes.

"Frank!" Tom called out even though Frank was already on his way over.

"I'm here buddy. I've been looking forward to this for a long time," Frank admitted truthfully. The second both Sam and Frank were standing next to him Tom stood up. His feet went out from under him. Frank and Sam both steadied him.

"I guess I'm not a good skater yet," Tom stated woefully.

"Okay, my turn," Téa called out. Tom and the others turned in her direction. Téa, who knew how to skate quite well, stood up and deliberately fumbled on the Rollerblades. "Oh Tom, I guess I'm not a very good skater either. We'll just have to learn together."

Tom smiled. "Don't worry Téa. I'll help you. I won't let you fall."

Not very gracefully, on purpose, Téa made her way over to Tom. "Are you ready mijo?"

Tom nodded eagerly.

Frank and Sam held Tom and Téa skated slightly in front of them. Tom was shaky at first. Then he quickly got the feel of the skates and found his balance. Sam and Frank were now only holding on to his arms lightly. They would even let go for a second or two.

"Téa! Téa! I'm skating. I'm skating! Look!"

Téa turned around slowly. She skated backwards for a few seconds as she watched Tom. Téa held out her hands to him. Tom grasped her hands in his. She continued to skate backward as Tom skated forward.

Tom's face was lit up like a Broadway marquee. They had never seen such a big smile on his face.

"Viki! Doctor Hanen! Jeff! Nancy! Kevin! Terry! Steve! Eileen! Janet! Look! Me and Téa are skating real good! Look! I'm not clumsy. I'm a good skater! Look!"

"Baby, you're a wonderful skater!" Viki called out. "You're doing great buddy," Kevin called out to him. Kevin realized he was completely happy for Tom. He was feeling no jealousy. He felt sad and alone, but not jealous of Téa's affection for Tom. He wondered if he'd feel the same way if it were Todd.

The rest of the staff called out their praise. Tom looked up at Sam. "I'm skating good. Right Coach?"

"Boomer, you're a wonderful skater. I'm so proud of you." Sam looked at him lovingly.

"Frank, I'm skating good. Right?" Tom asked again.

"You're doing a terrific job buddy. I can hardly keep up with you. I should have put some skates on myself."

Tom giggled. "Let's go faster Téa!" Tom suggested as they turned the corner to another section of the hallway. Tom noticed Dorian standing there. Dorian had gone off to make some notes of what had transpired. "Look Auntie Dorian! Me and Téa are skating real good."

Dorian smiled as they zoomed past her. "That's very nice dear. You have a good time." Dorian called out after him. She shook her head. 'How is Blair ever going to be able to cope with all of this?' Dorian thought to herself.

"I want to just hold onto Téa. Can I? I'm a good skater now. Please!" Sam and Frank exchanged looks. Tom did pick it up much faster than they had imagined he would. "Okay, you hold on to Téa's hand and we'll stand be right in back of you," Frank suggested. He and Sam were still close by.

Téa held Tom's hand tightly. They both glided along effortlessly. Téa was having as much fun as Tom was. Up and down each section of the hallway they skated. Tom would wave every time they passed by Kevin, Viki, and the staff. Dorian had taken a seat in one of the lounge chairs. She greeted Tom with a closed mouth smile and a wave that reminded Viki of Queen Elizabeth waving from her carriage. Viki knew she'd have to deal with whatever Dorian's reason was for being there later. Right now she didn't give her a second thought. Viki was so happy to see her two guys, Sam and Tom, having such a good time. 'I knew all he needed was to be close to Todd or one of the children,' Viki assured herself. She was positive that Sam becoming Todd's co-guardian was the best thing for everyone. She was happy she was going to see the judge later that day.

"Téa! You're the best skater in the world." Tom complimented. "Coach," he called out.

"I'm right behind you Boomer," Sam called back.

"Téa teached me to dance real good too. Now I'm a good dancer and a good skater and Kevin's gonna teach me to be a good ball player. You'll be able to be real proud of me Coach."

"I'm already real proud of you Boomer," Sam called back to him.

Téa slowed down and turned to face Tom. She took both his hands again. She slowly maneuvered him around in a circle. Tom loved it. He started to laugh and giggle. "More Téa! Do it again!"

Téa spun him around a little faster.

"More!" Tom called out.

Téa threw her head back and laughed. "I think we have a gold medal winner here," Téa joked. "Is that good Téa?" Tom called out.

"Very good mijo," Téa called back.

"I love you Téa! Today's the best day ever!"

"I love you right back, mijo. I love you with all my heart. You are everything to me." Téa declared as they glided down the hall and then spun around again, holding on tightly to each other's hands.

"Téa is your heart singing real loud?"

"Very loud, mijo. Very loud and very happy."

Tom and Téa stopped for a second. Téa still held his hands tightly. "It's the best day in the whole world, Téa! I'm gonna remember it forever and ever! It's in the happy part of my brain. I don't want nobody to ever wipe it out or nothing to spoil it." Tom declared jubilantly.

"What?" Téa felt him slip. Frank and Sam caught him just before he lost his footing.

"Todd?" Téa asked. She recognized the familiar "what?" as if he'd just been woken up from a dream.

"Delgado! Is it the same time as before . . . is . . . what's happening?" Todd felt his feet sliding out from under him. The men held him up and Téa held on to his hands tightly. "What's going on? Delgado, did I hurt you? WHAT'S GOING ON!" Todd shouted. He began to panic, causing him to lose his footing even more.

"Todd, no. No, you didn't hurt me. We were having a good time. Everything is all right. It's just a few hours later than the last time we spoke." Téa tried to stay calm.

"Todd, it's Frank. You are not going to fall. Sam and I are holding you. You are standing on Rollerblades. It's all right. Come sit down and we'll take them off." Frank assured Todd as he continued to hold on to him.

"What! Rollerbl . . . skates!" Todd pulled his hands away from Téa's. "What the hell am I doing on skates! What are you people doing to me! Sam!" Todd called out. Todd was disoriented. He couldn't tell what direction Frank's voice had come from.

"I'm right here pal. I'm holding you. Don't be afraid." Sam gave Todd's arm a gentle squeeze as he held it.

"Let go! I don't want you to hold me. Let go!" Todd tried to pull his arm away from Sam's grasp once he determined which arm Sam was holding.

Sam looked like he had been slapped across the face. He couldn't hold back the tears that threatened to splash down his cheeks.

Frank took hold of both of Todd's arms. "Todd, it's Frank. I'm the only one holding you now. No one else will touch you if you stay calm and safe. I'd like to help you over to a chair and then take the skates off your feet. Can you stay calm?"

Todd nodded. He was starting to tremble. "Do you know how to skate on inline skates?" Frank inquired.

Todd thought for a second, trying to remember. He remembered he did and nodded.

"Okay, you just try to keep your balance and I'll hold you and make sure you don't fall. We're going to go straight ahead for about ten feet and then make left and go about two feet to the lounge and I'll sit you in a chair and take the skates off."

Todd felt numb. He felt like a fool. He was confused. He remembered being with Téa. He was terrified of what had transpired between his last memory and now. "I'm cold," Todd murmured more to himself than to Frank.

Terry brought Todd some hospital issue socks that had special soles that gripped the floor to prevent slipping. Todd and the alters were not allowed to wear shoes or sneakers. Not as long as they were on escape precautions and Pete was on escape and assault precautions. Terry also brought a blanket.

Frank gently eased Todd into a chair. "Todd, I'm going to take the skate and sock off of your right foot first." Frank loosened the skate and pulled it and the sock off. "Now I'm going to do the same with the left." Frank got that one off too. Todd seemed stunned. He sat quietly with his arms wrapped tightly himself. It was as if he were holding himself together. He continued to tremble. "Okaaaay. There we go. The skates are off Todd. I'm going to put nice warm socks on your feet," Frank said soothingly.

"Todd, it's Terry. Here's a blanket, honey." Terry wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. Todd pulled the blanket tightly around himself.

Viki walked over to where Sam remained standing after Frank had led Todd to the chair. "Honey, please don't let what Todd said upset you. You know he's still reacting to the memories of the sexual abuse he remembered. Sam?" Viki called to him when he didn't respond.

"I'm all right. Leave me alone." Sam finally uttered.

Viki hesitated for a few seconds and then headed back to where Kevin stood.

Susannah motioned to Kevin and Dorian that they should stay quiet and not approach Todd or let him know they were there. She approached Todd. "It's Doctor Hanen, Todd. Everything's all right. One of your alters wanted to learn to skate. Nothing bad happened. You weren't hurt. No one was hurt."

"Where's Delgado?" Todd whispered.

"Téa's sitting on the other side of the room. Do you want to talk to her?"

Todd nodded.

Téa had not taken her eyes off of Todd since she sat down and took her skates off. Janet had brought Téa her shoes. She jumped up and headed for Todd the second Susannah motioned for her to come to where he sat.

"Todd, Téa's right here. I'm going to get up so Téa can sit next you and you both can talk." Susannah headed over to Frank and Jeff. They stood within arm's length of Todd and Téa.

"I'm here Todd," Téa announced softly.

"Delgado, are you sure I didn't hurt you?" Todd's voice trembled along with the rest of him.

"Yes, I'm very sure. You didn't hurt me at all." Téa responded tenderly. She wanted to take Todd into her arms and stop his trembling. He sat holding himself so tightly she didn't dare.

"You were with one of them, weren't you?"

"One of them?" Téa needed clarity. She didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"One of those people who run around in my head," Todd whispered. His trembling increased. He pulled the blanket even tighter.

Téa looked toward Susannah and the staff. Susannah indicated that she should go on.

"Todd, I was with Tom. He's seven years old and he's a very sweet and good little boy. I was having a good time with him."

Todd's face flushed with shame. "I acted like a seven year old around you?"

"Querido, you have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. I love Tom and I love spending time with him. You do nothing wrong or embarrassing when Tom comes out."

"Tom is my real name. I was named after my mom's father," Todd said out of the blue.

"I know. You loved your Grandpa Tom a lot." Téa stated.

Todd nodded. "He was nice to me and to my mom." Todd realized something. "I don't remember telling you about him. Did one of them tell you?"

"Yes. Todd, some of your alters loved your grandfather very much too."

Todd cringed at the word alters. "It's not right Delgado."

"What's not right?" Téa asked.

"That you're with me when I can't remember. I hate that! They make a fool out of me."

"No, never! Todd, Tom is loving, talented and smart little boy. He never makes you look foolish."

"I promised they could see you. I wouldn't break a promise to a kid." Todd remembered agreeing to allow Téa to visit with the children Susannah told him about. Todd still could not think of them as a part of himself.

"I know you wouldn't mi amor. I'm very happy that you said it was okay for me to visit with Tom and Timmy."

"I don't want to talk about them anymore." Todd proclaimed. He couldn't bear the thought of Téa being with him when he wasn't aware of it.

"That's okay. We don't have to." Téa assured him.

"Delgado, was it real?" Todd faced the direction of Téa's voice.

"Was what real mi corazón?"

Todd bowed his head. He felt embarrassed that he brought it up.

"Todd, it's okay. Was what real?" Téa repeated.

"You said you didn't care about Kevin. You said you loved me and you'd never leave me," Todd whispered.

Téa smiled. She was so happy Todd retained the memories of their last encounter. "It's true, querido. I only love you. I will never leave you. You don't have to be afraid of that."

"It's because I'm crazy. You feel sorry for me," Todd stated. He once again bowed his head in shame.

"No! Todd I'm here because I love spending time with you. I love being near you. When you wanted me to stay away I was the one I felt sorry for. I was lonely and miserable. All I wanted was to be back in your life. Do you have any idea how happy you made me when you said I could come see you?"

"You held me." Todd's voice was almost inaudible.

"Yes, mi amor. I held you. Do you want me to hold you right now?"

Todd wanted that badly. He hated himself for wanting that. He felt ashamed. He shrugged.

Téa read his feelings. "Todd, I was hoping you'd say yes, because I really need for you to hold me right now."

"You need me?" Todd couldn't believe this.

"Mi Todd precioso. Usted es todo a mi. You are everything to me. I need you very much." Téa wanted to make sure he understood she was not asking for anything sexual. "Sometimes I miss you so much and I just want a hug from you to remind me that it's okay with you that I'm in your life." Téa waited few seconds. Todd didn't respond. "Would it be all right if I held you now?" Téa asked.

A tear trickled down Todd's cheek. He wanted to be in Téa's arms so much it hurt. He nodded.

Téa took him in her arms. Todd's muscles tightened at first. He held on to the blanket. "Querido, I love you. You make me so happy," Téa whispered in his ear.

Todd began to sob. He let the blanket fall away as he put his arms around Téa and held on for dear life. His head rested on her shoulder. "I hate this Delgado. I hate not being able to remember being with you. I hate being confused and scared all the time. Oh God! I'm so crazy Delgado. I'm never going to leave here or have real life or be like real people. My head is all screwed up. I'm ruining your life. You're waiting around for someone who doesn't exist. I don't exist Delgado. I'm not real. I'm just this messed up piece of garbage."

"No! Todd you're very real. You're not messing up my life. You are my life. Without you I just exist. I know it must be horrible to not remember being with someone. I need you to know that even when you can't remember being with me you are still making me happy and still making me feel loved and special. Please don't ever shut me out of your life again. I can take anything, but I can't take that. I need you. I need you now. Just the way you are. You will get out of here. I promise! We'll do it together, mi corazón. We'll help each other, just the way we always did."

Todd desperately wanted to believe Téa. He suddenly became terrified because he also wanted to kiss her. Todd pulled away from her. Téa grabbed onto his hand as he did. "What? What happened? Todd? Please tell me. Did I say something to frighten you or hurt you. Querido, please! Don't pull away from me. Just tell me what I did."

He lifted Téa's hand. He stared into her eyes. Téa realized he had switched. He brought her hand to his lips and gently kissed the back of it.

"Ah, my beautiful Téa. It is so good to see you. It's been much too long."

Téa looked into his warm, loving eyes and smiled. She knew Rodd had come out.

TO BE CONTINUED