Chapter 1

January

You know when you don’t want anyone else to know what you’re doing? You try not to act out of place but you stick out like a sore thumb? You try to be slick but you’re so obvious? Well, I opened the door to go into the school library during my free period and I tried not to look…obvious. And I tried to be slick, first going to fiction and then I creeped around to the science section and finally ended up in the medical section. I checked out the area and no one else was around. I scoped out the books. There weren’t many titles to choose from so I picked, “Pregnancy for Dummies”.

I tucked it underneath my arm and walked up to the librarian. I handed her the book.

“I wanna check this book out,” I whispered.

A big, fat grin crossed her face, “Name.”

“Manning,” I whispered, looking around.

Someone walked in the library but walked the other way.

“Which one?” she asked.

God?! Could she be any louder?

“Trevor, all right! Now could you hurry up?!” I urgently whispered.

She took the card, gave it a due date, had me sign and gave me the book.

I quickly tucked it under my arm and rushed into a corner of the library that seemed secluded and opened the book.

“As the fertilized egg implants in the uterus, it releases an immunosuppressant protein so the mother’s body doesn’t think it’s an invader and rejects it…”

I made a face. Ewewew… My parents! I was a baby once, I guess. Guess I started out this way too…

“The first trimester is critical for the baby. You should avoid alcohol, smoke, even second-hand smoke, and caffeine. You will feel tired, urinate more frequently, experience mood swings, and have tender or swollen breasts…”

I rubbed my arms and raised an eyebrow. All right, sex ed classes taught us about conception and about how babies were made but not really this stuff. This has got to be damn uncomfortable for my mother.

“By the fifth week, the baby’s heart is beating. Expect nausea and stay away from cat litter, as there is a risk of toxoplasmosis, which can cause genetic defects…”

I swallowed. My mom was like - what? Five weeks? Six weeks? It’s a good thing we don’t have cats. And if we did, that cat would be outta’ there as soon as I got home!

“Congestion and nose bleeds are common. You might get dizzy, tired, and nauseated. These are common signs of pregnancy and nothing to worry about. Your baby is fine. One in five pregnancies are lost in miscarriages and in a third of these - something maybe wrong with the baby, such as a chromosomal abnormality…”

I paused. I did not want to my mother to go through another miscarriage. What’s a chromosomal abnormality?

“Early amniocentesis can be done between 11-14 weeks. It is offered to women with a high risk of giving birth to a child with congenital abnormalities. Maternal age is a factor. It allows parents to detect if the fetus is genetically abnormal so they have the option to terminate…”

I closed my eyes. Boy does that sound cold. I brought my hand up to my mouth, wracked with worry and concern for my mother. I did not want to lose her. She means the world to me!

“Hey Trev! Whatcha’ reading?” came a voice.

I slammed the book shut, scared out of my wits which was not a smart thing to do because now anyone could see the damn title!

“Hey…hey…Amy…” I stuttered looking up at her.

“Pregnancy for Dummies?” she asked looking over my shoulder. I swear to God, her eyes were bulging.

“Will you whisper or something? Sit down!” I tried to say calmly.

Amy sat down and crossed her arms with an amused grin on her face, “I swear you need to take a pill Trev. Why are you reading this book? You don’t have any ideas…?” she motioned between us.

“No! No way! I don’t want to ever have kids! It’s my mom. She’s pregnant again and I’m…” I paused.

“Really? Wow. That’s cool Trev,” she paused as she studied my face, “I get it. For you, this isn’t cool. You’re worried about her. Why?”

“Amy! My Mom is 46 years old. I know she looks young but she’s not…well…you know! A lot of things could go wrong…” I whispered, “And well, I want to know what!”

“Trev, that’s sweet, but isn’t that your Dad’s job? To know what can go wrong? I mean - he’s the Dad right? Isn’t that what Dad’s do?” whispered Amy.

“Yeah. And knowing my Dad he’s worrying too but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a right worry. I mean - she’s my mom! The only one I’ve got! I don’t want to lose her!” I said trying to find the right words.

Amy smiled, “Your Mom is lucky to have so many worrywarts in her family. You’ll smother her to death. Relax, Trev. I’m sure your parents have it under control.”

I know Amy was trying to be comforting but she wasn’t doing a good job at it.

“Look Amy, don’t tell anyone I have this book okay? The last thing I need is for Brady to give me a rash of shit over it…” I muttered.

Amy rolled her eyes, “Who am I going to tell? Everyone knows we’re crazy about each other. They’d probably think it was me having the baby. Besides, Brady’s mellowed out a lot lately. I think it’s ‘cos of that play he’s in.”

“You know my sister’s in that play. I’m worried about her,” I said honestly.

“Why? Does it have something to do with that kiss in the diner?” asked Amy.

“Yeah. I think both Buchanans got the hots for her and while Troy’s okay, you know there’s no love lost between me and Brady. He’s a punk, straight up,” I said. I couldn’t stand that pansy. Brady was a bully. He took every opportunity to harrass me just because I had hemophilia.

The bell rang. I threw the book under my arm, “We gotta’ go. We got history now,” I said.

“I’ll walk to class with you. If you don’t mind?” said Amy giggling, “Just keep that book outta’ sight.”

“I don’t mind and don’t worry, I will. And I’m making a pit stop at my locker so I can drop it off,” I grinned.

Amy smiled at me and we walked off.

*****

That afternoon after school, I picked up Terri and took her home. Taylor was staying after school to work on her play. Tyler had the day off from Hockey practice and he was probably all ready home. He had started to get along better with our mother and I didn’t know how to feel about that.

As Terri and I walked in the kitchen, my mom and Tyler were talking about school stuff. Tyler was sitting at the bar and my mom was sitting across from him, drinking an orange juice.

“Mommy!” exclaimed Terri running up to her.

Mom got off the stool and knelt down to give Terri a hug.

“Hey little Tee, how was school?” Mom asked, smiling at her.

“Okay. I got two words wrong on my spelling test,” said Terri.

Mom stood up and I gave her a quick hug, “Hi Mom.”

“Hi T.D.,” she said brushing her bangs out of her face.

“Which words did you spell wrong?” asked Tyler with an amused grin on his face.

Terri put her hands behind her back and swayed, “Massachusetts and Mississippi. Is Taylor home? Can she help me with my words?”

Mom sat back down and grinned. I leaned up against the kitchen table content just to watch.

“Sweetie, Taylor’s practicing for her play,” said Mom. The phone rang and she answered it.

“Well little Tee, I’ll help you if you want,” said Tyler smirking at her.

“Okay big Tee guy,” said Terri, batting her eyelashes at Tyler.

Mom hung up the phone and frowned.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“You know that surprise birthday party for your father and Starr, I’ve been planning? I’ve got to go pick up my dress. It’s ready and I’m just feeling a bit run down and tired.”

“Ooohhhh…is it a secret Mommy? I can keep a secret…” said Terri.

Mom rolled her eyes, “It’s a not secret anymore. I’m giving your father and Starr a birthday party this Saturday…”

That was two days away. Mom had arranged a bash at the Country Club. God! I hope Terri can keep her mouth shut!!

Terri got hyper and started jumping up and down, “Ohh! I can’t wait!! Did you get Daddy the chocolate cake!! That’s his favorite!!”

Mom smiled at Terri, “Yes, I did Terri. I know all your Dad’s favorites…”

“Oh, yeah. You know that ‘cos you’re the Mom right?” asked Terri shyly.

“Yep,” said my mom grabbing her purse, “Years of experience.”

“You want company Mom? I’ll go with you?” I volunteered. I didn’t want her going alone.

“I’ll go too,” said Tyler standing up from his stool. It never ceased to amaze me how tall Tyler was.

“Me too!” said Terri.

“All right, I could use some company,” said Mom, “I’m not used to the quiet around this house when you all leave in the morning.”

“You want me to drive Mom?” I asked.

“It’s okay, T.D. I can still drive you know,” she said. Tyler took Terri’s hand and we all packed into her car. I sat up front with her. Tyler and Terri sat in back. Mom started the car and we drove off.

“So, ah, Mom…how do you feel today?” I asked looking at her.

“I, ah, told you, I’m a bit tired but I’m also bored and I’m glad to get out of the house for a bit,” she answered glancing at me but keeping her eyes on the road.

“Did you barf today?” I asked seriously.

“Noooo,” she answered.

“Any nose bleeds?” I asked.

“Nose bleeds? Noooo,” she answered. She raised an eyebrow.

“Any mood swings?” I asked playing with my hands. There was no way I was going to ask her about her tender and swollen - you know whats.

“Mood swings? T.D., I’m about to do a mood swing on you. What have you been reading and why are you asking me this?” she asked giving me what my father called, ‘Delgado bug eyes.’

I looked down, “Aww…Mom…I’m just…concerned…about you…” I stammered.

Her expression softened, “T.D., It’s really sweet you’re concerned - worried - but I’m fine. I’m just tired. That’s to be expected. This isn’t the first time I’ve been pregnant you know.”

“I know mom, it’s just that…” I started but couldn’t finish.

Tyler stuck his head into the front in attempt to help me out, “Mom - you’re like cool, you know. We just want you to stick around, that’s all. I wanna go to New York with you again - I dunno - whenever…”

“All right! All right! I assure you guys I’m fine. I’ll say this - both you boys got that Manning worrywart gene from your father,” she joked, causing us all to smile.

“I’m worried about you too, Mommy,” said Terri fidgeting in her seat belt.

We all laughed. Mom pulled into the mall parking lot, we got out and went inside.

As we walked through the mall, Tyler held Terri’s hand and they listened intently as I told Mom about my day at school. It was fairly uneventful. She asked questions about school and Amy. Mom told us what she had planned for Dad and Starr’s party. It got all of us excited.

We walked into the store and Mom went up the salesgirl at the counter asking about her dress. I stood next to her while Terri checked out the accessories rack a few feet away. Tyler stood on the other side, with his arms crossed, trying to act a bit put-out, in case anyone from school saw him. I rolled my eyes and chuckled to myself. Tyler thought he had to act to sooo macho in public but he was such a sucker in the presence of our mother.

The salesgirl went out back to get the dress leaving us at the counter. Mom took a deep breath and ran her hand through her hair. She put her purse down on the counter and I could have sworn she looked a bit piqued.

“Mom?” asked Tyler. His face was full of concern.

She took another deep breath and reached out with her hand grabbing the counter to balance herself.

I swallowed, “Mom, what’s wrong?”

She looked at me with such a blank expression, “I’m just a bit dizzy, that’s all…” she whispered. She began to fall.

Tyler lunged for her.

“Mom!”

To Be Continued....