Only Two for You:  Bupu

Physical Appearance:  Short, rotund, smelly, filthy, ragged, ill-featured.  The list goes on.

Health:  She's as unkillable as a cockroach.  And she has a magic lizard.  She's unbeatable.

Personality:  Friendly, trusting, you'll be disgusted by you, but she can get along with anyone.

Intelligence:  She's the only gully dwarf who can count to more than two...

Finances:  She's a queen...but she's still stuck wearing rags.

Housework:  She doesn't mind living in squalor. Do you?

Motherhood:  You know, they survive by being prolific. But then, you wanted a big family, right?

Sex:  Please don't tell me you're into that sort of thing...

Chances:  All you need is a charm spell.

Outcome:  If you like that sort of thing, happily ever after...

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