DB Interviews

Interview 2:Freeza

For my second interview, I thought I would question the former supreme evil of the universe, Frieza, to see his point of view on some questions.

WC: Hello, and welcome to the second exciting episode of DB Interviews!
Frieza: What?
WC: Oh, nevermind. Being dead and all, you probably don't have access to the Internet.
Frieza: Hey, that hurts!
WC: Sure. . . anyway, on to the first question.
Frieza: Why should I answer your questions?
WC: Well, you did come here for an interview.
Frieza: Yeah, but you're mean!
WC: I'm sorry?
Frieza: Fine, what ever.
WC: O.K. now, my first question: what did you plan on doing once you got immortality?
Frieza: Well, as you probably guessed, I wanted to rule the universe as the kind and just ruler as I . . . was.
WC: Kind and just? You ruled entire planet systems with a strict iron fist!
Frieza: Hey hey hey! I didn't rule those planets! They, uh, wanted me to oversee them! Yeah thats it!
WC: Yeah, but what about planet Vegeta?
Frieza: Oh. . . that. .  .um, let me think.
WC: . . .
Frieza: O.K! I got it. They . . . had . . . a virus! Yeah, and I had to . . . destroy it, to . . . contain it! And as you know, King Vegeta visited my ship to discuss the matter.
WC: You killed him.
Frieza: NO NO! It was the virus! He, unfortunately, was infected with it. He asked me to destroy the planet to prevent spreading the virus . . .
WC: So what exactly IS this "virus"?
Frieza: Oh thats easy, it made those stupid monkeys to freaking powerful. . .
WC: Excuse me?
Frieza: !!! I, uh said, it made them delusional, and then, die. . . good cover, Frieza. . .
WC: Did you know that you're full of crap?
Frieza: What? How dare you say that!
WC: Lets just move on.
Frieza: You don't believe me?!?
WC: NEXT QUESTION. How did you feel about Vegeta interfering with your search for the dragonballs?
Frieza: Hmmmm . . . I thought it was good competition.
WC: What? Is that the best thing you could think of? Come on.
Frieza: What's wrong with that? Vegeta and I were trying to get the dragonballs. It was perfectly fair when. . . WHEN THAT FREAKING JERK STOLE MY DRAGONBALLS!!! No, wait! What I meant was, he simply wanted them, uh, more . . .
WC: You do know it isn't healthy to suppress your anger.
Frieza: Anger? What anger? (Looks at crewman on set) Do you see any anger?
Crewman: (Runs away, crying)
WC: Man! You know how hard it is to get good help these days?
Frieza: Are you referring to the Ginyu Force?
WC: No, I wasn't, but now that we're on the subject, why the hell did you even think it was a good idea to get those guys?
Frieza: They were flashy.
WC: You really are hopeless. But, now form may last and final question. How do you transform? I mean, You completely altered your body structure in a matter of minutes!
Frieza: That's easy. I'm really a tiny alien inside a robot, that's covered in clay. Whenever I transformed, I just cranked the power generator a little bit and altered the shape of my suit. How else do you think I was at exactly 1% of my power when fighting Gokou?
WC: So, why haven't you changed since your final form?
Frieza: I, errr, broke the suit.
WC: . . . how?
Frieza: When I was transforming into what I called my 'final form,' I was trying to make a huge monster thing. But, unfortunately, the clay on the outside of the suit just was pushed too far, and, I, broke it. I didn't want to be this tiny pathetic thing! How am I to strike fear into my enemies?
WC: You really expect me to believe you are a tiny little guy inside a robot suit?
Frieza: A robot suit with more power than you'll ever have!
WC: You wish. But, before things get out of hand, my last question.
Frieza: You said you already asked me that!
WC: SO I LIED. Anyway, what are your thoughts about Gokou?
Frieza: What?!?! Gokou?!?! That evil mean jerk? He was the one who ruined my plans for the universal utopia! I was just minding my own business, and POW! He starts beating me up!
WC: YOU ARE SO FULL OF CRAP!!!
Frieza: What? Oh I get it. You're with HIM.
WC: Yeah, I consider myself on the same good side, with Gokou.
Frieza: YOU ARE A MENACE TO THE WAYS OF FRIEZAOLOGY! YOU MUST BE DESTROYED!
WC: Are all of my interviews going to end like this?

     Frieza jumps at the all-suspecting interviewer, and is answered with a single swift back hand that sends him flying though the wall.

WC: There was a reason why I was able to keep up with Vegeta.
Frieza: VEGETA IS NO MATCH FOR MY POWER! YOU ARE JUST A WEAKLING!!!

     Frieza fires a huge Ki blast, which is effortlessly countered and redirected at Frieza.

WC: TIME TO DIE AGAIN, FRIEZA!!!
Frieza: NOOOOOO!!!

     The interviewer, not even needing time to power up, fired a Ki blast that completely disintegrated Frieza. . .again.

WC: Well, that's the end of this interview, see you later. Great, now I have to clean up this mess. . .

This site is not meant to infringe on any copyright laws, or ANY laws, for that matter. It is merely a fan site created to acknowledge and promote the popularity of the DragonBall, DragonBall Z and DragonBall GT series.