And favorite of all was Christmas Eve. You see, every year each family member bought or made a gift for everyone else in the family. It might only be a pencil or a handmade card with a Santa drawn on it, but each gift was carefully wrapped and hidden away. Then on Christmas Eve, when the tree lights were on and snacks were placed on the kitchen table, one by one each would bring out their cache and place it under the tree. What a thrill as the piling of the presents around the tree grew. Christmas would be tomorrow morning!!

Not all of those Christmas Seasons were the best of times for Bearperson.

Where can we begin with this story? Perhaps it is best to remember Father Bearperson first. Bearperson had no greater love in the world than for the family. This is where everything began and ended. Father Bearperson (Dad) was not a large man, but he was brown eyed, well muscled and quite strong. Bearperson strove for the approval of Dad. And as a reward was given one of Dad's big hugs. These were not your ordinary hugs. They were, what one might call, "Bear Hugs!" Dad was somewhat hairy and when you got one of those hugs it was, as Bearperson imagined, just like getting hugged by a big furry bear with big brown eyes.

Dad worked for the power company and his job was to do emergency repairs. He was very good at his job. The hours were not regular for emergencies did not happen in shifts. So Dad would get a call and have to go to work at all hours of the night. (Ever notice how emergencies seem to tend toward night). The family was used to this and it was "normal" to hear the phone ring in the dead of night and Dad driving away in the darkness. Bearperson was always quite aware of these comings and goings.

It had been raining for days. The rivers ran high and the hills were being saturated. Then the wind came! The howl was amazing. Bearperson could only remember one other time when a wind like this had come. It had ripped fifty foot fir trees out by the roots. The family had driven around weeks later and looked at the destruction of the wind had wrought. And Dad had worked almost around the clock repairing power lines.

Bearperson heard the phone ring. Dad was going to work. The voices of Mom talking to Dad were muffled (as usual, so as not to wake the rest of the family). Bearperson got up and walked out to the kitchen as Dad was about to leave.

"Hey little one! What are you doing up? Come here and get a hug!" Dad near barked to a sleepy eyed little Bearperson.

"Bye Dad," Bearperson squeaked in a sleepy voice.

Bending over and rubbing Bearperson's head, Dad said, "Now you take care of your Mother for me."

Dad hugged and kissed Mother goodbye. Bearperson and Mother stood at the front window and watched and waved as Dad drove off into the night.

"Get to bed!" Mother chided. "You need your rest for school."

"I don't have school. It's Christmas vacation. Christmas is just three days away," Bearperson said over the shoulder swaggering down the hallway.

The wind continued to howl. Bearperson awoke a little, being just a bit chilly, and pulled the covers up, snuggling into the pillow. In a half sleep Bearperson heard the knock at the door, but it didn't really register. It was a sound Bearperson wasn't used to hearing. Mother padded down the hallway. Bearperson couldn't quite hear, but thought it was a man's voice at the door.

"NO, NO! OH GOD NO!" Mother's scream struck Bearperson's heart with terror. Bearperson arose and went to the living room. Standing in front of the door, which was still ajar, was a man in a black overcoat. Mother was seated on the couch, hands over her face, crying in great sobs. The man looked at Bearperson, but said nothing. Bearperson recognized the man from Dad's work, but couldn't remember who Dad said he was. Mother looked up at Bearperson. Anguish and fear etched the lines of Mother's face. Her eyes streamed tears.

"Your Dad is dead."

Bearperson stared at Mother then looked up at the man. His face was lined and sad. His lips moved but Bearperson heard nothing. Turning, Bearperson walked down the hall to the bedroom and went to bed. Bearperson stared at the wall, teeth gritted. Long after the sun had come up Mother came into the bedroom.

"Are you going to get up now?" Mother said, stroking Bearperson's head.

"Okay," was all that Bearperson said.

The howling of the wind began to die mid-afternoon. It had already been a long day. Mother spent most of the day on the telephone. A minister came and talked to the family. Some people Bearperson didn't know came by and cried with Mother. Some men in a big black Cadillac came to the house and talked with Mother at the kitchen table.

Bearperson did have a phone call from a friend who asked if it was Bearperson's Dad who had died in the storm. Bearperson said, "Yes," and hung up.

The next day was similar. Mother looked old and wrinkled. Lines and dark circles shrouded her eyes. Bearperson had heard her cry most of the night. Bearperson mostly just sat in the corner of the couch and watched. Bearperson really didn't know what to do or how to act. No one said.

The next morning broke with low hanging clouds and a bit of mist in the air. The rain was going to stop. Mother was in a dither, rushing the family around--laying out Sunday School clothes and telling Bearperson to wash behind the ears. Today, Christmas Eve, was to be the funeral for Dad.

Bearperson had been to one other funeral before. It was Grandfather's funeral. It had been the one and only time that Dad had cried. Bearperson wondered if it was required that one cry at the funeral.

The family arrived at the funeral home in one of those big black cars that those men had driven to the house the other day. Mother explained that before the funeral they were going "view" Dad. This had relatively little meaning to Bearperson. It was a long wooden box and Dad was sort of there--very still, kind of painted. He was wearing his best suit. It was the suit Dad always wore when he and Mother went out somewhere together and left Bearperson at home with a sitter.

The funeral began and ended. Bearperson took note of the fact that they closed the box at the beginning of the funeral. In Bearperson's mind it became clear, "Good-bye Dad." The interment was Veteran. Mother received a flag and the uniformed men fired rifles into the air. Bearperson mostly watch the drops slip down from the leaves of the trees. Then it was over and they got into the black car and went home.

The afternoon brought a breaking up of the clouds. From time to time the sun would break through and streams of sunshine came into the living room. Bearperson was again positioned on the couch. The people came and went. Some brought food and some just ate. Every now and then someone would walk over to Bearperson and tussle Bearperson's hair saying, "It will be alright." Bearperson was quite undaunted by all of this because there was a problem here.

As evening approached Bearperson arose from the couch seeking Mother.

"Mother, what do we do with Dad's presents?"

The stunned look on Mother's face turned to anguish and then to tears. An aunt, uncle or somebody like that quickly moved Bearperson back to the couch. But that evening when everyone thought they could, they brought out the caches and put them under the tree. Funny, Bearperson thought, Dad's present is not here. Nor were there any presents for Dad in the caches.

Going to bed Bearperson turned on that little Rudolph night light (which was only used on Christmas Eve) and wondered if Santa knew not to bring anything for Dad. It would make Mother cry again.

Somber, but trying, Christmas morning went on quietly. Bearperson found amusement in a couple of presents and was relieved that Santa didn't bring anything for Dad.

The weather had continued to clear over the next few days and it almost seemed like Spring. Mother came to Bearperson, "Would you like to go to the Zoo today?"

Now, Bearperson had never been to the Zoo! "Yes, yes, yes Mother!" Bearperson resounded.

Really the story is not a joyous one, for this Christmas was not joyous for Bearperson. And I did not say that it was to be a joyous Christmas story. However, the story continues for a little while longer and I think you will see just how incredibly the byline to this episode comes true!