Politically Correct
Diplomacy in Cyberspace
by Kitsuki de Kage
Online, you do not have the benefit of facial expressions and body language to display how you feel. Instead, we communicate with facies and typed gestures, such as "^_^" and **grins**. This is how we communicate to others that we're just joking, no hard feelings.
This is a little more difficult when you role-play. As stated in another tutorial, your character should be considered an entity different from yourself; perhaps an aspect of yourself, but not really you. You should also regard other people's characters in the same manner and assume that nothing the character is doing as a personal attack. Just because someone else's character doesn't like your character doesn't mean that the player detests you.
Also, you have to be careful about things such as sexuality, religion, racism, etc. in a role-play, particularly one where you may not know the other players personally. Some people are more open and liberal about such matters, others may not. And they may not always remember the unspoken rule that your character is not you and take offense. Your gay, racist, white supremecist Satanist may be fine in an RP where you know everyone, but you might want to keep him out of larger RPs. The same goes for child abuse, molestation, etc. When you don't know who you're RPing with, you may want to keep graphic descriptions of torture and rape outta there. Everyone has their skeletons in the closet, and some people don't want to be reminded of certain things.
Here are some general tips for keeping the peace on a message board:
- Keep direct confrontations on the board itself to a minimum. If it can be solved through email or a quick little message through AIM or ICQ, do so. Try not to post it on the board where everyone can see, as this may prompt the other person to become defensive.
- If a fight or flamewar does start on the board, contact the board administrator as soon as possible and let him or her handle it. If the argument has nothing to do with you, keep out of it. Do not take sides and do not encourage others to take sides.
- Protect yourself. If you think a move you've posted is an auto and you're afraid you may offend someone, post a small OOC message stating that you're not sure if something is an auto and to ignore it if it is. You'll find that people are generally accomodating of small autos. You may also want to post a small note if you think your character is being offensive (ie: they're telling someone off or insulting someone).
- If someone points a mistake out to you, try not to become defensive or agitated, even if it seems to you that they're being rude. They may not realize that they're coming across as rude; remember, without the benefit of facial expressions and tone of voice, statements can be interpreted in different manners. Accept the criticism, offer your point of view, and see what can be worked out.
- "I'm sorry" does not mean you are stating your guilt. It merely signifies that you understand and see the mistake or oversight and are willing to work something out calmly and peacefully.
- Remember that everyone makes mistakes.
- Remember to be humble. You'll find that apologizing and burying yourself in the dust makes the other person a lot more agreeable rather than ranting and being self-righteous.
- If you find yourself being attacked, stay cool. The other person may simply be in a bad mood, and retaliating will only result in an argument or a fight.
- Be flexible.
- Try to keep your personal life out of an RP as much as possible, especially if you don't know the other people and/or it might be offensive. It's fine to talk about school and Band and how stressed you are and whatnot, but it's not a good idea to talk about how you shot your first deer or how you made your first human sacrifice today.
- And always remember: your character is not you!
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