chapter thirty-two
chapter list
chapter thirty-four
Chapter Thirty-Three
We buried our babies, Jerald and Michael Richardson the following weekend, as soon as I was released from the hospital. When all was taken care of with our babies, I moved into Nick’s extra bedroom. My love for Kevin died with our sons and so did our marriage. In two weeks, I was once again Nikki Sopher.
~<3~<3~<3~
Hailey had a hard time understanding that there wouldn’t be any babies coming. She was so ready to be the big sister. Nick and AJ did their best to explain it to her. I couldn’t handle telling her. It seemed I couldn’t handle much of anything anymore. Nick and AJ were my angels. They did so much for me and let me rest in the weeks to come.
I was sound asleep when there was a knock on my door. I did my best to ignore it, but it only got louder. Finally, I heard an aggravated sigh and my door opening. I hid my head under the covers hoping to deter my guest.
“Nikki, get your ass out of this bed. The doctor says you’re perfectly healthy now. You need to be and with the land of the living.” His cheerful tone was making my skin crawl.
“AJ, get your ass out of here. My body may be healthy, but my heart sure as hell isn’t. I’m not ready to go anywhere.” Before the words were fully out of my mouth, my blankets were pulled back.
“God, Nikki, you look terrible. How long has it been since you’ve eaten?” He leaned in closer. “Or bathed.”
“Funny, McLean. Leave me alone. I’m trying to sleep.” He lifted me from the bed. “Put me down.” I tried to struggle, but my body was weak. He carried me to the bathroom and placed me in the tub. He ran the warm water. “Shit, AJ. I’m still in my pajamas.” He continued to run the water. When it finished, he turned the water off and handed me a washcloth.
“Bath.” He stood up and left the room.
I sighed and took of my soaking wet pajamas. I threw them in the sink and bathed myself, relaxing in the warm water. I emerged form the bathroom a half an hour later feeling much cleaner and stronger.
“Well, you clean up nice.” AJ smiled. I gave him a hug.
“Thank you, AJ.” He winked. “God, I’ve been so self-absorbed. What’s been going on? How’s Cat? Is she back here yet? I know she had some tests to take in Indiana.”
“Yep, she’ll be back in 3 days. She goes back to classes on Tuesday.”
I nodded. “How is Brian?”
“Same. He calls all the time to see how you are. Almost every day, actually.”
“What about Nick and Hailey? God, I love in the same house as them and I feel like it’s been weeks since I’ve seen them.” I felt horrible.
“Actually, it has. You never come out. They’re good though. Hailey loves school. Nick’s been a nervous wreck. I swear he gives her a ‘say no to drugs’ speech daily. I can’t get it through that boy’s skull that it’s only kindergarten.” He laughed, but stopped when he saw my serious expression.
“How is Kevin?”
“As good as could be expected. He lost two babies and his wife in a day. It’s to be expected that he’s taking it pretty hard. He’s been going to counseling though. He’s not too bad. Howie’s been over there every day to check on him.”
“I feel horrible, AJ, but I just don’t love him. I loved him so much, but it ended so quickly. I don’t blame him for their deaths. I honestly don’t. I just lost every feeling I had for him with those babies.” AJ hugged me knowing that if I continued the tears would soon follow.
“Mommy!” Hailey came flying at me unexpectedly.
“Hi, Sweetheart. How was school?” She was hugging me so hard I had to strain to get the words out.
“I missed you, Mommy. School is the best, and I didn’t take any drugs at all.” I looked at Nick, and he smiled proudly.
“That’s good, Honey. Are you hungry for some lunch? How about McDonalds?”
When Hailey ran excitedly from the room to put her school things away, AJ turned to me. “Nikki, are you sure you’re ready to go into public?”
“Thank you for your concern, but I am more than ready.” I smiled as we piled into Nick’s car and left.
We walked into McDonald’s cautiously. We did our best to wear clothes that wouldn’t get recognized with hats pulled down low. As we were eating, I could feel everyone’s eyes on me.
I whispered to Nick, who was seated next to me, “They’re all talking about me.”
“Then show them you can handle it, and ignore them all.” He smiled and squeezed my hand reassuringly under the table.
~<3~<3~<3~
Cat joined us back in Florida not long after. AJ was still over quite often to see Hailey, but let’s just say that it wasn’t as often. Many times when he did come, he brought her with.
“Aunt Cat!” Hailey yelled and came running as soon as she walked in the door with AJ.
“Hey, Shorty.” She picked Hailey up.
I came in the room when I heard AJ and Cat enter. “Well, if you two ever get married, she can call you Aunt Cat and Step-Mom.” Cat smacked my arm.
“Ouch, you’re a good influence on my child,” I laughed.
“Hey, Cutie. Don’t you want to see Daddy?” AJ held his arms out to Hailey. She laughed and held on to Cat tighter. “I see how you are. No one loves Daddy.” He sat down in a chair and pretended to cry.
Hailey instantly looked sad and climbed out of Cat’s arms. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I love you.” She hugged him and he grabbed her and tickled her on the couch. Hailey was laughing so hard that she was crying. AJ finally stopped and picked her up.
“Who wants lunch?” AJ asked. Hailey stood up and raised her hand excitedly. “And where do you want to go?” She smiled widely. “Not again, Hail. We had that yesterday.” She stuck out her bottom lip and pouted. “Ok. McDonalds it is. You’re the only person that I can honestly say loves that place more than me.”
AJ turned to me before speaking again. “Is her bag packed?”
“Yep,” I handed him the small suitcase. “One weeks worth of clothes and anything else she should need.”
“Thanks, Sweetheart.” He kissed my cheek and took the bag. “We’ll see you in a week. Enjoy the break.”
“What break? Nick is just in the other room.” I laughed.
“Hey! I heard that.”
chapter thirty-two
chapter list
chapter thirty-four
