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Welcome To St. Elsewhere
Page One
By SilverMoon

This story, Welcome to St. Elsewhere, was writen by myself. I wrote it after an episode of heart trouble I had at the begining of 1999.


I was just sitting there and I said to myself that in fact I look so good for a 46 years old woman. Most women my age have just started to let go of themselves and they look like they just made it back from the combat zone, if you think of it, as housewives we have all done just that, as wives and mothers we are doctors, referees, nurses, psychiatrists, councillors, ministers of economy in our households, etc., but for some reason, I thought, my looks haven't quite disappear yet. I still have a flat stomach and a lean and trim figure and my face is wrinkle free, in general, I don't know how I have kept my looks this far. As I finished smiling to myself, I hear this whoooosh noise in my ears and the sensation of a noise in my head as if I have an engine inside of it, and little by little I start to see things flying by me, I'm thinking that I cannot catch the world in my hands and soon enough I know no more of reality, I'm now in Amorpheous' arms in quiet sleep. I wake up to the sound of my panicked son's voice saying to me,
"mom, mom, are you okay? are you with it mom?"
" yes, I am but I can't breath! give me oxygen" I reply.  
John is saying to the ambulance attendants that yes, in fact I'm not eating and no, my mom is not suicidal, it's just that ever since she's been widow, she got herself run down, but no, mom is not suicidal, mom is grief stricken, but she's a fighter, don't you see it in her eyes? These people waste no time, catheter needle in my arm, oxygen in place in my nose and without much ceremony they grab me and put me on the stretcher and take me down to the ambulance and then across the street to the hospital, St. Mary's hospital, but to me it has always been St. Elsewhere, yes, just like the television show's title. I don't have a clue as to why I find myself thinking that it is a lucky thing that we live in such a big penthouse suite, not housewife friendly at all, but I always thought that if someone were to invent a jetson's house, just like in the animated cartoon, you know, the family of earthlings that lived in outer space, it will be so much better, why, it takes for ever just to vacuum the floors! I thought, what a thing to think about when you are in an ambulance, but you know, fear is a strange thing, it does a lot of things to people, fear is like a hunter, it watches you and then attacks, well, it's just across the street, I'm very close to the E.R. As we get there the word hospital evokes in your mind many images, twisted images of running doctors and nurses, children crying, the sterile smell of desinfectant mixed with fear and death, and overall scary enough when you are a patient, it's as if your will it's not your own any more, they make you leave it at the door when you cross the threshold of this place. I see in my mind's eye a sign that reads, welcome to the house of horror, the show will commence shortly, please be silent! just as if they did hang at the door a neon sign from Broadway and they were advertising for a new theater show, the sign flashes steady, non stop, as if inviting you to experience pain and death, oh mine, but my mind is all numb! Now I'm placed in this cubicle and this nurse, who looks overworked and short of patience, comes in, I say, Goddess, please send my way a good dose of unconditional love, I need some and soon! She has all these questions that would make a kindergarten kid scream! she's asking why I'm here! well, I say, don't you see? I've nothing to do right now, I'm just trying to pass the time! I think just now of how I love a good game of one upmanship! you see nurse, I passed all the levels in this nintendo game, well you know, the one with the little guy from europe, you know! the one that is ethnically challenged! oh yeah, Mario Brothers, so, I decided to come and spend the day, I really needed to play another game the one they call you piss me off and I'll grab the first thing at hand and throw it your way as a reward for your stupidity, she looks uncomprehending, I look around this cubicle for something, anything to make contact with the desired target, that kidney basin looks so tempting! oh but don't worry, this is the result of red hair and mediterranean blood, and that is the reason for my passion at times like these, but maybe not, they'll for sure bring that straight jacket and saddle me with it. I don't really like to put up with nonsense, specially from people that are in charge of my life, so I'll comply and be good, oh Goddess, give me patience, I'm pretty sure that when you said brains they thought you meant trains and they took the train that was serving stupid sandwiches and a bowl of idiotic soup for lunch, and all for free! and now I have to put up with it, a transgression of evolution! neanderthals! yes, the evolution chain was missing a link and didn't quite make it to the health care professionals!


Now enter the doctor, oh no!! please!! another neanderthal, I see him and wonder what he ate for lunch, he looks just as stiff as the shirt he's wearing. Hello doctor, and all the while I'm thinking, hi there neanderthal, what can I do for you today? how can I help you evolve? He has this puzzled look on his face, and he looks like he's ethnically challenged as well. yes let's be politically correct here!

Continued on the next pages...