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I Will Never Be The Same Again By Silvermoon

How true can this statement be after a loved one leaves the world of matter? I think at times how much more alive I used to be and now it feels like I'm a shadow of myself. But we will never be the same as before, remember, if you were close to your departed loved one, then that means that a part of you is now gone too. You've lost part of yourself and you try so hard to find it again, don't try, let things be as they are, life will go back to normal, but never be the same. If you cry, you are made to feel as if by the simple act of crying you are letting down a few people that would like to see you be your old self. Don't let those tell you how you should feel or be. It's true that when we mourn those that have departed we may be pulling them back but after all we live in the world of matter with feelings and emotions and as much proof as I have about life after life, that is not enough to erase my deep sense of lose and sadness. I'm human and I live on planet earth. Some people are ready with advise, they may mean well, but we cannot be as they wish us to be because that is lying to ourselves and then we are in denial of our true feelings. I for one, when I wake up in the middle of the night and my body trembles with the sobbing, I let that happen, no one has yet died because they cry, no, but if we suppress our feelings, we may just get ill enough to depart from matter. Why do we cry? do we cry for the departed? or, are we crying for ourselves? of course the answer is an easy one, we cry for ourselves, because we are deprived of their physical presence, we need to be with them and we need to be able to do the things we used to do with them. I go through stages and I accept each stage. Part of my learning experience before I leave for the other world it's experiencing widowhood. I am sad for me because I miss my husband Fred. I wish that there was some way we could all rush this process of grieving but there is not, so, we must take it as a learning experience and try to help others as much as we can when the healing comes for us all.

Now it has been almost two years since Fred went to the Other Side of Life. I find myself after all this time, a much different person. I find that I can speak up if something bothers me, I find that I can stand up for myself and not feel as if I have committed a crime, in general I feel very secure in myself, I let no one dictate to me and I know exactly who I am and what I want, so, all of the grief process was for the better, unfortunately sometimes we have to go through the harshest lessons to change and I even made the conscious decission to let go of Fred, that is alright, that does not mean I forgot about him, it only means that I have let him do what he has to do in order to continue his journey, but still, he is always there and if I need him, all I have to do is call to him and he comes to visit in my dreams or gives me an after death communication! you want to know something?...I really like myself now a days.


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