The Hairiest Moron.
Birthdate: 12/26
Ricky Cabinough was born in the town of Fulton NY. He is the product of insets, his
parents are first cousins. Throughout his life he has always known that he wasn't like the
other kids. Especially since he sometimes had to call his mom Aunt Margaret, when ever
they would go to a parent teacher meetings. In thew town where he grew up insets was
some what common place. Many of the students in his school were actually his relatives,
mostly cousins/half brothers or sisters. One thing that set him out form all the other kids
was his ability to hand cuff three kids, take apart a .35mm Smith and Wesson and put it
back together, while reading them their right in under 3 minutes. When in his freshman
year at high school he became one of the school hall monitors. In his three year "reign"
he stooped 234 student from running in the hall, 33 fights, 843 kids with no hall pass, and
1 hostage situation. The students at his school hated for this, and often teased him and
ridiculed him. Placing "kik me " and "I am stewpid" signs n his back. Unfortunately all
his hard work ended when he released his anger for years of torment on a sophomore. It
seems that this young man was going about to put a sign on Cabinoughs back, but before
he could extend his arm to do so Cabinough unleashed a fit of rage that no one has seen
before. First he grabbed the kid by his left nipple and threw him to the floor, where after
he took of the boys shoes and smacked him about the head breast neck and head with
them. It took three teachers and a circus clown to drag Cabinough off of the lad.
Cabinoughs life went down hill from there, he turned to alcohol and fourteen year old
girls to cope with the anguish he felt.
After graduating from high school at the age of 21, Cabinough worked security at a steal
mining plant on the shore of lake Ontario, in the city of Oswego. While there, he meet a
man by the name of Vincent Verducci, Verducci was the plants production advisor. The
two men became pals and often would go to the docks and shoot M-80s at passing fish
and fishermen. In the summer of 93 the plant shut down and both men were forced to
find other jobs, and eventually lost contact. Cabinough felling that he hit rock bottom,
moved back to Fulton with his parents and did odd jobs at the town mucks. One day as
he was floating in the Oswego River he heard the sound of what he thought was gun fire.
So he quickly leapt into the water, swam underwater to the shore, crawled threw thick
weeds till he was within a few feet of the potential shooter. With the mans back turned
to him he sprung up talked him, cuffed him and took apart and put together a .35mm
Smith and Wesson, before he realized that the man that he tackled was none other than
Vincent Verducci. Verducci was just reliving some of the old days he and Cabionough
used to have, and Cabinough was happy to see his old friend again. The two spent the
rest of the day, talking and maiming fish.
Veducci informed him that he was the president of Morons Inc. and that, although they
had already hired a new head of security, they were still looking for a Chief security
officer. And without the way Cabinough was able to subdue him he thought that Ricky
would be a great candidate. They went to talk to Nicholas G. Valcome, CEO of Morons
Inc. about the position. When Veducci explained the situation to Valcome, he had no
other choice but to hire Cabinough on the spot. Now under the tutorage of Johnny
Blizzard, Cabinough is turning out to be a valuable addition to the Morons Crew. And
just as a joke every now and then he will find "Kick Me" Signs on his desk from Vincent
with love.
Click here to send an E-Mail to Mr Cabinough.
