Jay Gordon (vocals)
Okay, here is what I know about Jay Gordon. He has a lit cupcake in one of his lungs. How did this happen? Well, he only weighs 98 lbs. soaking wet, but he loves sweets. He hates the weight he gains from them, so instead of actually eating them, he inhales them! Oh, yeah. He's also from Mars. And his favorite alcoholic beverage is vodka. It is speculated that he is thirty-two three, but since there are no birth records (ha! that proves it! or is it just that he used to be Nina Gordon from Veruca Salt???) this cannot be certain. It IS known that he is allergic to cat hair. One strange thing about Jay is his special reflex. This is odd, and doctors still have to find a reason for it. This reflex causes Jay to raise his middle finger every five minutes, and it is just as common to Jay as breathing, or eating, or crapping, or, well, you get the idea. If you go to an Orgy concert, you will actually see this reflex in action, as he will continue to flip you off the whole night. He has even become quite obsessed with the middle finger, asking everyone he meets to flip him the bird. As with all other people with disabilities, he feels somewhat alienated by this, so, if you meet him, stick up your middle finger at him, and don't worry if three guys grab you from behind, and begin beating on you. It happened to me, and don't worry. They won't hurt you. Too badly.

Ryan Shuck (Guitarist)
The drunk of the group. There is nothing that Ryan loves more than alcohol. Well, almost nothing. The one thing he loves more than alcohol is drinking alcohol. Also, he seems to remind me of Beavis and Butt-Head. He gets sent out to do reviews on movies, and generally does not like them. He can fit three M & M's up one nostril!! His favorite things in movies are explosions and chicks. Ryan, the youngest member of the group, is only twenty-six, but makes up for his young age with his liver, which is definately the oldest member of the group. Ryan's very special talent, if you can call it that, is rather weird. He can spit very, very far. If there were an Olympic Spitting event (perhaps one of the many games that rednecks play....), then Ryan would win by far. At a concert (perhaps you read about the one I'm refering to in the hardcore fan page?) He let loose, and I ended up with spit in my head. Of course my cousin, Rain, tackled me, produced a vile, and scooped every bit of it up.

Amir Derakh (Guitarist)
Amir used to be in a band called "Rough Cutt" (Want proof?). He compares everything to that band, and has a tendency to forget that he's not still in "Rough Cutt". He also has an eyeball in his lung that blinks, and at times appears to be sleeping. Amir is thirty-six, and already he is beginning to get senile. Of all the members of Orgy, Amir has the weirdest hair, with the two-toned top on his head. From what I've heard, Amir like Green Tea, but this, like much else, cannot be verified, because no one even knows if Orgy DOES eat, or sleep, or anything else for that matter. They do screw Shane though. I know they do. I saw them through a window. Hee hee hee, I've seen 'em neked, hee hee hee....

Paige Haley (Bass)
Paige is one of the "nice guys" of the group. He will stop to give a fan an autograph even if his right arm is on fire, he's been shot in the left shoulder, fire ants are marching up his left leg, his right foots being gnawed off by a beaver, and he has a small dog hanging from his crotch, chomping down as hard as it can. He also likes tongue baths....hee hee hee...(and I like giving them to him...hee hee hee....)

Bobby Hewitt (drums)
Bobby is the other nice guy of the group. Although he is sometimes the one the guys are always forgetting, he is always there to remind them who he is. Who are we talking about again? Oh, yeah, Bobby. His wife is also the star of the "Shane's World" movies. Perhaps you've seen them? I've even heard that he was in some of them! They are rather mild compared to what I've seen Bobby do...hee hee hee hee hee........

No way this is true. Lemme outta here.