"An Irishman's Philosophy"

There are only two things to worry about...
Either you are well or you are sick.
If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about...
Either you will get well or you will die.
If you get well, then there is nothing to worry about...
But if you die, there are two things to worry about...
Either you will go to heaven or you won't.
If you go to heaven, then you have nothing to worry about...
But if you go to the other place...
You'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends...
Then you won't have time to worry!!

'Tis better to buy a small bouquet
And give to your friend this very day
Than a bushel of roses white and red
To lay on his coffin after he's dead.

A soft answer turns away anger.

Both your friend and your enemy think that you will never die.

The mouth that speaks is not as sweet to hear.

A friends eye is a good mirror.

The older the fiddle the sweeter the tune.

You'll never plough a field by turning it over in your mind.

It's no use boiling your cabbage twice.

Gods help is nearer than the door.

You cant' take blood from a stone.

If you lie with dogs you'll rise with fleas.

Neither give cherries to pigs nor advice to fools.

The longest road out is the shortest road home.

May those who love us, love us
And those who don't love us
May God turn their hearts
And if he can't turn their hearts
May he turn their ankles
So we will know them by their limping!

Dance as if no one were watching
Sing as if no one were listening
And live every day as if it were your last.

Life is like a cup of tea
it’s all in how you make it!

I complained that I had no shoes
Until I met a man who had no feet.

Firelight will not let you read fine stories
but it's warm and you won't see the dust on the floor.

A trout in the pot is better than a salmon in the sea.

If the knitter is weary the baby will have no new bonnet.

The best way to keep loyalty in a man's heart is to keep money in his purse.

Humor to a man is like a feather pillow
It is filled with what is easy to get but gives great comfort.

Many an Irish property was increased by the lace of a daughter's petticoat.

There's no need to fear the wind if your haystacks are tied down.

A wild goose never reared a tame gosling.

An old broom knows the dirty corners best!

It's no use carrying an umbrella if your shoes are leaking.

There'll be white blackbirds before an unwilling woman ties the knot!

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