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Preachers!!!!

HOW TO GET RID OF YOUR PREACHER...

1. Look him straight in the eye and say "Amen" once in awhile. He'll preach himself to death within a few weeks.

2. Pat him on the back and brag on his good points. He'll work himself to death.

3. Start paying him a living wage. He's probably been on starvation wages for so long he'll eat himself to death.

4. Rededicate your own life and ask the preacher to give you a job to do. He'll probably die of heart failure.

5. Get the congregation to unite in prayer for the pastor. He'll become so effective some larger church will soon take him off your hands.


Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said "Ya know, since summer started i've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away.

Another said "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away."

The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church... Haven't seen one back since!!!"

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