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CLASSIFIEDS
1.
How Are You Now?
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Archie; Age 61, Albert Pines, NB
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Tobacco chewin' Albert County wood-cutter seeks a fit young woman to chop logs with. She has to be handy with an Axe
and good with her men. Call Archie 555-7887
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2.
Wanna Be My Cookie Crumble?
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Suki;
Moncton, NB
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Hot Asian girl seeks good times with local man. If you like cookies, candies and don't mind sharing a mouthful
of chewy beef jerky give me a call today! 555-JERK
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3.
Sex Mad In Dieppe
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The Gigolos; Dieppe, NB
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Hi we are looking to spice up our wild lustful sexual appetite by inviting you to our weekly partner swapping orgies. Hours of fun and entertainment like you've never imagined. Bring you libido's up a notch with us! Call Denzil and Alzbeta 555-ROMP
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4.
She-Male Seeks Straight Man
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Arthur; Muddyview, NB
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Yes, Yes, I'm a 53 year old drag queen father of five from Edmunston. You can't be yourself unless you move away. Anyway enough already! Are you straight? Want a date? Call 555-MALE
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5.
Shy, Introverted, Exiled Terrorist Seeking Forgiveness.
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George;
Salisbury, NB
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Misguided dictator seeks forgiveness for his sins. I've invaded, bullied and pushed people over the edge
but not anymore. I've discovered the light and am willing to rebuild my ways. I need a good woman to tuck me
in at nights and read bed time stories of forgiveness. Call 555-43489.
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6.
Blonde Control Freak Seeking Passive Male.
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Debbie;
Age 33, Moncton, NB
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Strong, demanding, dominant career focused female seeks an passive,
tender obident Male to share her needs and wants with. If you like being told what to do, I'm the girl for you! Call 555-3234
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7.
Peter Pan Seeks His Tinkerbell
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Wacky Jacko;
Memramcook, NB
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Are you shocked by how fellow human beings treat eachother? The continual abuse,
the starving the killing. Its all got to stop! There's too much suffering in the world. Join me and we'll make a difference!
Just look at my face! Call 555-WACKO
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8.
Pair of Muddy Work Boots.
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Steeves Low Dealz;
Irishtown, NB
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Hot! Hot! Hot! One previous owner. Size 9, Steel toe! Great for kicking Butt or for work! Either way you'll look the part
in these well-worn stomping Tom's. Asking $150. I'll even throw in some odour eaters! 555-DEALZ
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8.
My Wife's Panties Clean! Bright!
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Steeves Low Dealz;
Irishtown, NB
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Hot! Hot! Hot! One size fits all! That's right! S, M, L they stretch to fit! Try em on! These cute little high cut briefs will
make your woman extra happy. You won't be disappointed. My wife's been forced to sell her doubles so she won't miss these!
Make me an offer call 555-DEALZ
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8.
Silk Shirt, Slight Stain.
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Steeves Low Dealz;
Irishtown, NB
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XL white silk shirt. Fully buttoned. Great collar! Small blood stain present around the shoulder area otherwise very fine.
Email me for larger scans. Perfect for your husband or loved one! 555-DEALZ
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11.
Mating Squirrels For Sale
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Pam's Pets;
George St, Moncton, NB
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Two Burmese Mating Squirrels. 6 months old. Go like Rabbits. Amuse you friends and family!
Truly amazing these little varmits go non stop 24/7. We are selling them for that reason! Our kids couln't sleep due to all the squeeking these hot blooded critters made! Call 555-PETS
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12.
Toilet For Sale
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Gaiten's Weapons Of Mass Destruction;
Memramcook, NB
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Not really a weapon of mass destruction, although you could rig the ball cock and surprise the wife when she next flushed! He! He! Just kidding! One regular toilet for sale complete with Thermal seat, to beat away the winter blues! Call 555-FLUSH
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13.
POKE ME IN THE EYES! Genuine Space Shuttle!
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Ricky's Auto Sales;
Albert Pines, NB
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Yep! Yep! Yep! Here it is a fully furnished Nasa made Shuttle complete with
bathroom, bar, casino and genuine cockpit. Drive this Sucker away to-day! Yours for a cool $46m. I bought it cheap
from Dicki's Scrap Metal Parlour on Mountain Road. You get to own it even CHEAPER!
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14.
WHIP ME TILL IT HURTS BABY. Lear Jet Brand New!!!
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Ricky's Auto Sales;
Albert Pines, NB
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What am I thinking! I bought this for $20m now I'm selling it for $50m!
I must have a screw loose! Take it away! Leave before I make you! Slight paint wear on the wings and nose. GOOD DEALS!
GREAT DAY GIVE-AWAYS!
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15.
WOW! JUST PISSED MY PANTS! Drive This Off My Lot Now!
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Ricky's Auto Sales;
Albert Pines, NB
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Smashed my own car up in the excitement of it all yesterday. Take it from me! I called
Greater Moncton Towing but they woudn't touch it said it was TOO Expensive to scrap! Yours for $200.00 Is that EXPENSIVE???
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16.
TIE ME TO YOUR FENDER AND DRAG ME ACROSS MONCTON! Deals! Deals!
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Ricky's Auto Sales;
Albert Pines, NB
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Nice compact, convertible GM Truck. One previous owner. Slight dent in the hood. Great shape. Good as New! Take it from me. YES it's yours for FREE! *Taxes may be included however.
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Greater Moncton Cavalier is not suitable for minors
© Copyright 2002-2003 Naughty Nigel Productions & Swordfish Designs
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