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A circle of flowers

Pairing: Spike/Xander

Summary: First ever response to a challenge placed on one of the lists.

Set somewhere in the future, Spike sits by Xander's grave after he is accidently killed by Buffy... how does he cope?

Humming, the blond smiled as he gently swept aside the scattered dirt from the black marble headstone. Discarded candy wrappers gathered up in one hand, the vampire placed them carefully in the plastic bag pulled from one of the numerous pockets dotted around his ripped and torn leather duster. Once all the empty chip packets joined the sticky brightly coloured bits of paper and foil inside the bag, he twisted the top closed in a tight knot. Bag replaced in the only servicable pocket, Spike set about pulling the headstone upright again.

Tongue clucking as he wondered just how the heavy block had ended up laying on its back again, he effortlessly heaved the stone into its usual position. He really had no idea why it always fell over, it just did. Rather like the way his perfectly planted flowers were scattered around the damp grass. Asters, violets, pansy's, snowbells, all kinds of pretty little flowering plants. Must grow legs and try to walk to a friends place. Sometimes they swapped places with other friends, especially when it was cold. There would be constant green plants trying to escape their moorings when it was cold. He liked the flowering ones the best, they were good friends, they always listened. A small plant was gently gathered from the numerous others that hadn't walked too far. It must have gotten too tired to go far this time, not like the times everything had disappeared. Too many times to count now.

A quick intake of not needed breathe and the vampire shook his head, smiling as he gave the dark salmon pink flowers a hesitant brush. Long slim fingers plucked off the twisted leaves before placing the naughty plant back safely in its rightful place. Humming resumed, he repeated the process with each plant. Mauve, purple, blue and light pink, each flower was freed from any dirt that dared disrupt the beauty they provided. Once all done, Spike wiped his fingers against his shirt, his digits cathcing in the ragged seams. A broad grin broke through his humming as he surveyed his work. It was good, he was pleased. With a careful step over the edge of the ring, he sat himself down in the centre of the circle of flowers.

Eyes closed, the vampire breathed deeply. Nose raised to the slight wind, he ignored every scent that didn't belong to the plants surrounding him. He identified each blooming plant and its unique flavour that wafted softly through the air. So nice, it was calming. Only a few minutes more to wait. Catching a strong female scent, his nose wrinkled as he tried to remember just why that particular smell bothered him. Hers was a scent that upset him but for the life of him, he couldn't remember why. All he ever got from it was fading images of a small blonde, who it was, he wasn't too sure.

The female paid no attention, he hummed as he waited. Just one more minute to go. Left hand resting on his knee, Spike held his right hand out. Playing with the numerous threads hanging off his thin jeans, he felt his heart leap when the mug made contact with his outstretched palm. Hand closed around the handle, he lifted the blood filled mug to his mouth, drinking deeply. The flood of warmth that filled his empty belly was ignored as he savoured the presence of his friend. He didn't dare open his eyes to see if it was really Xander standing infront of him. He had done that once but all he had seen was a strange redheaded girl. She had just stared at him when he had started to cry. Spike had yelled at her for scaring Xander away. He hadn't meant to make her cry as well, he had just been scared that Xander wouldn't visit anymore.

Sometimes he thought he could feel the strong warm fingers brushing against his when the mug was placed in his hands. Spike knew that for as long as he held onto the mug, Xander would listen to him talk. He knew that Xander listened to him, he often heard little sighs and moans when he told the boy how Spike wished to be able to hold him. No matter how far forward he leant out of the circle of flowers, he could never stretch his arm out far enough to be able to touch Xander. It was just one thing that he pleaded to be able to do. One little kiss, a quiet word to be heard. He could hear the grass crunch underneath the boys feet on occasions, the warm presence circling the vampire. Always out of reach.

"I love you Xander"


"Are you safe?"

(grass crunching)

With a sniff of the air, Spike smelt salt intermingling with sweet fragrance of the flowers. Head shaken, he begged for the boy not to cry, to be brave and not to worry about the vampire.

"Please don't cry Xander, it's alright. Everything is just fine"

(sniffle, sob)

"I made everything pretty again, just the way you like it. I don't mind cleaning up after you but you shouldn't eat so much candy, its not really good for you. It will probably make you sick"

(sigh, sniffle)

Spike babbled the last of the words, knowing that in just a few minutes his mug would be taken from him, signalling the end of Xander's visit.

"Can I touch you pet? Please, just once?"

(rustle of grass)

"No, your'e right, I shouldn't keep asking. I can't help it though, I miss you so much. It hurts my chest when I think of you. Sometime it feels like my breast bone is crushing my heart, I don't think its ever going to go away"

"I know you have to go now...I'll talk to you tomorrow night, ok"

Mug held out for Xander to take, he gasped as he felt his cool fingers brushed with much hotter ones. Resisting the urge to grab at them, the vampire forced himself to be happy that Xander had given him that much. It just proved how much Xander loved him. Hearing the rustle of the grass fade as the boy walked away from him, the blond allowed his own tears to course down his sunken cheeks. He never allowed himself to cry infront of the whelp, just wouldn't do for the boy to get upset. Once he was sure that Xander was gone, he asked the one question he always wanted to but could never bring himself to ask the boy.

"Will you come back home with me?"

the end.