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CARD ARCHIVE

LIFE LESSON ARCHIVE

STATE MOTTO ARCHIVE

WHAT I'VE REALLY LEARNED ABOUT LIFE

 

I've learned- that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they 
panic and give in. 

I've learned- that no matter how much I care, some people are just buttholes.

I've learned- that it takes years to build up trust and a minute of suspicion to destroy it. 

I've learned - that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better 
have a big dick or huge tits.

I've learned- that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more messed up than you 
think. 

I've learned- that it's taking me a long time to sleep with the person I want.

I've learned- you should always leave loved ones with loving words. You may need to borrow money. 

I've learned- that either you control your attitude or you will be offered medication. I've 
learned- that money is a great substitute for character. 

I've learned- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones 
who do so. 

I've learned- that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean 
you can't take advantage of them when they're passed out and naked in your bed. 

I've learned- that your family won't always be there for you. Unless, of course, you win the 
lottery. 

I've learned- that no matter how good a guy is, he'll eventually revert. 

I've learned- that no matter how badly your heart is broken, therapy is still expensive. 

I've learned- that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel 
better about ourselves. 

I've learned- that two people can screw the exact same person and compare notes. 

I've learned- that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get 
arrested and end up in the local paper. 

I've learned- that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. And all 
the less important ones just never go away. 

I've learned- To say "Screw 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages. 

Ok, now everybody go forth and share your wisdom!