Lyrics

DEMO

1. Projector - it's not fair but who cares it took a second it's all still there you beat me to the punch pointing out that i'm the fuckup not my way not my game room and board i'm not my own waste i'm in scene i can see that you could care less about me i'm done tatto the bruise what to do when all i've got is a voice in my head that's wanting you to forget the past i'll never be like that you put it all on me to be so bad am i what you said a deadbeat like my dad sometimes i think you'd like me badder if i was dad to please you make you happy i'll jump ship so you can go on without me away someplace nice have a nice life am i what you said eternally depressed sometimes i think it's you that's sad have i gone bad it's too bad i'm not sad it's too bad i'm not dad again with the bullshitting scapegoating the lying never ends blasphemy killing me like you're really ever gonna give a fuck a movie star that's mouthing off is all you are for all ears it seems to me i'm the loser big disappointment and i have been for years to you

2. Cliche - what a glow and a glance uncomfortable lost and found in you i am into you like me shine from your face say it's not too late emotions swell and forgotten about i saw you there you saw me there i hope blistered eyes behind a disguised concern see you see me there sick on the side of the road and there you go

3. So In Love - reaction to a bigger lie you brought what you had to buy should've seen that look on your face all dumb and glossy eyed i never meant to hurt you yet i did like a leech thought i'd die without you and so did i lifelines all went limp my guilt kept me alive one time's one too many so tell me how bad is two i wish i could explain parasite of my love feeding on what i need hypocrites so in love so in love so in love was i right or was i wrong i wish i could say right

5. Heal - here i am at your feet again the bruises shine my stitches have broken open and my bones grind nicely cotton swabs stuck in scabs and my bandages are in shreds doped up on anesthetics and at your feet girl reset the bones so they heal broken jaw held in place with twine and where are you for a rekiss on these puffy lips i'd die

6. Wallow - i've blown all my time on whining look where it's got me still whining i wish i could get away from my excuses absorption is the darkest hole so is my shame i've got a knack for breeding my own baby self pity that holds me down i'd like to think that i am perfect but i'm just one big wrong i wish i could get away from my deep trenches that hold me down i'm going down i breathe all my air and i choke stunted stagnant and caught on lung think i'd be better left untouched by an unprotected open hand i'd rather die than spread my infection to you or anyone else

7. Flushed - were i to sink i'd grasp for your feet but bound and cut are my hands now my clothes are dry but i'm still soaked hooked by you and i don't know what i can do got some lonesome lonesome handsome as i exchange water for air i realize that you've always been there for me if i had spent my time just right i'd be with you....yeah right

MINUTE

1. To Live - i want to live i want to breathe for something someone i need that connection i feel as if i'm losing whatever care i had in life i need purpose reason prioritize and realize that you don't care enough to survive everything has lost its meaning importance in life is fading and it seems that nothing matters that might be true but it's not what i want it to be i need some clarity make me alive teach me how to breathe again i seek that bond something to make me care again and maybe at the same time make her care too living for nothing has lost its appeal and i suffer without that crutch to keep me standing up be my air be my life be what holds me upright i want to live i admit it i hope that i can i hope that i can care enough can i care will it matter to me at least i know what i must do but will i help myself worthlessness and meaningless and now it seems i've got a lack of hope kick me alive teach me how to breathe again

2. Fell Through Autumn - everyone is changing like the leaves in september one color to another and everyone's overturned begging for rain i fell through autumn a change in pace everyone is changing growing and i am still the same i smell that it's colder than before you've got to learn to adapt everything's turning brown and dying and i wonder am i alert don't let go a deep fear of changing is setting me back one day at a time change is claiming everyone and i should be no different but somewhere along the line i learned to be afraid of change and autumn

3. Good In Being Sick - got sick of wanting to be sick but i went and got sick anyway who's sick now one problem spit up caugh as i go a bloody tissue a life too low on medication no medicine will make a better situation you feel the pressure cause you're spitting it up from within a big mistake god i'm so fucked up now someday i'll have to face reality someday i'll have to face the penalty screwed forever sick as a dog and i'm so confused i thought i knew who i was but guess not i'm not what i want

4. These Rails Have Never Felt This Used - gears interlock to smile at me god loves his machinery but what if i broke her teeth would her skull's grin still motivate me our locomotive charges further out of sense barreling towards ignorance her wheels scar the rails as she runs we are the hard workers who shovel hearts of charcoal onto fire deception we all want something more sometimes we are our own engine driving ourselves into an unconscious passion when we wake will the train have stopped these rails have never felt this used

5. Words Hurt - knight in shining armor of insults and put downs am i as bad as it gets worse than most wonder if anyone will ever try to see some good in me i realize my fault in behaving like i do of course it's much too late to make a difference to anyone protection defending myself i know how bad that sounds but at least it's something how pathetic who am i to degrade you who am i to put you down what a way to go through life i was wrong all along and now i know i'm tired of being like this picture perfect far from the truth barracade myself with words if i keep going on like this there'll be no one left to hurt my words hurt i know and im sorry

6. Projector - it's not fair but who cares it took a second it's all still there you beat me to the punch pointing out that i'm the fuckup not my way not my game room and board i'm not my own waste i'm in scene i can see that you could care less about me i'm done tatto the bruise what to do when all i've got is a voice in my head that's wanting you to forget the past i'll never be like that you put it all on me to be so bad am i what you said a deadbeat like my dad sometimes i think you'd like me better if i was dad to please you make you happy i'll jump ship so you can go on without me away someplace nice have a nice life am i what you said eternally depressed sometimes i think it's you that's sad have i gone bad it's too bad i'm not sad it's too bad i'm not dad again with the bullshitting scapegoating the lying never ends blasphemy killing me like you're really ever gonna give a fuck a movie star that's mouthing off is all you are for all ears it seems to me i'm the loser big disappointment and i have been for years to you

7. Surfacing - i am my own mountain i stand as a statue more space to fill in the background of your life and in those eyes of a baby mine the eyes of a hawk i watch and wait for your forecast to change so that i might hunt your affection again in your summer days the warmth of you i need your sun that ball has burnt out and i need a light your heat is unbearable but your light is worth a wait how long will i be in the distance all i want is to be heard and to be a part of your world this silence has grown deeper between us and yet there's more of a bond i've wanted this for so long and now that want is gone i need you how far will i let infatuation go i've felt this one coming on for sometime now answers lead to questions and doubt throws off the balance in this guessing game of a relationship my doubt keeps me in check i am my own mountain i stand on the horizon of your sight i am my own reality check i am my own mountain i stand as a statue of our worth

MISCOMMUNICATION

1. Drawing Conclusions - it took enough courage just to write i picked up the phone comfort from the dial tone set on what i had to say or was i one lie at a time it's all i can handle let's go back you had me say whatever made you stay in the end i never wanted to call you again you are no friend backstabber we stuck together we walked that line and we crossed it again that same old situation i can sense this friendship has to end one call to stop this it's better this way in the long run finally set on what i have to say

2. Jenny - i owe you this much every negative notion i ever entertained has been pushed away in favor of optimism and hope i had every intention of staying clenched again and again i debated if caution had a place with us that night i'm glad that we were right i never could help myself around you and i still can't i unwound and tangled in you this is so new

3. My Advice - i'm not being modest i sell the truth i'm not any better than you we all fall into stereotypes of our generation we all make mistakes you think i'd let you out of this one that easily how could i expect you to talk when your problems literally keep your lips sealed i want to be there for you i want to help you maybe i can point you in the right direction don't ever forget bygones and don't make mistakes twice don't waste the present day trying to take the past away don't ever forget that i'm just trying to help this is my attempt at advice don't ever forget it

4. The Bad Apple Theory - each one of us knows that expiration dates are common in this selection the shakiest of professions each one of us knows that this is where we're going and that this is what we want but nothing is forever don't expect this to be the base for the crumbling structures of our fast approaching futures there's way too many variables to consider for this to be the safest bet while you have it live it up this trip we take helps to cement the days that i am in love with you we got stuck with the worst of the bunch on this ride one that could very well define us he cannot affect this definition that has meaning but i can't stop thinking about us gone isn't it just our luck i need this to work out to punctuate this part of my life we all know the goal this is what we want on this ride let's keep this in mind one bad apple can't stop us

5. The Happiest Ending I Can Think Of - just for one second assume this world isn't turning for you, you might be gone but that doesn't mean i'm not attached anymore when i go to bed i sleep with the phone next to my head i hope that you'd wake me up sometime i'd love to hear your voice though i bet it would be reserved if you want to talk or keep me as the back up plan i'll always be your friend keep me as a friend unscheduled disaster ruined happy endings ever after collect all the feelings and save them for another meeting the next time around

Thanks to Brian Schmutz for letting me post his lyrics

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