A month later, Brian flew back to Atlanta during a break between shows to see a specialist that Dr. Robeson recommended there. The news he received was better than he'd expected. His deafness had progressed more slowly than the other doctor had thought it would.
Dr. Marcia Swift had been in the field long enough to be considered a reknown specialist and yet was young enough to understand the importance of relating to her patients. She was helpful in answering any questions that Brian had then offered to help him find a tutor to teach him, his friends and his family sign language when he finished the tour. The look that passed over his features led her to ask, "Oh, Brian, haven't you told anyone about this?"
Brian lowered his head in shame. "I don't know how to," he said in a whisper. "I wanted to wait until we knew for certain. I guess I was - am - basically in denial."
His blue eyes glistened with unshed tears. "This is going to change my life. I'm a musician. I'm about to marry a wonderful woman. I just can't do this to her, to them!"
"This is a life altering situation for a lot of people, but none off them have been able to do this alone. Do yourself a favor and lean on your fiancee, friends and family. They do care about you."
"I promise."
* ~ * ~ *
Brian met Leighanne at the airport for dinner before taking a flight back to Toronto, where he would join the others to finish out the tour. He listened to her talk about the plans for the wedding though concentrating more on her voice than the actual discussion.
He clearly noted the joy in her voice as she described every detail - everything from the floral arrangements to the style of her traditional dress. From what he did comprehend, the event would be a celebration worthy of her dreams.
Brian remembered the photo album his parents kept of their own wedding. It had been a simple affair compared to most - nothing like what Leighanne was planning for certain. He was in the celebrity circle now and an extravagant event is what was expect of a Backstreet Boy. All Brian wanted was something memorable for himself and Leighanne, but what really mattered was that he had found what he'd seen in those photo albums in the blonde woman sitting across from him now.
"Bri?" Leighanne could read the guilt in her fiancee's blue eyes. He hadn't heard much of what she'd said.
"I'm sorry, Leigh. My mind wandered for a minute," he reached over the table to grasp her hand gently. "What was it?"
"I asked how the plans were coming for the honeymoon."
The honeymoon. It was one of the few tasks Brian had wrangled responsibility for himself. With his health foremost on his mind, however, he hadn't had the time to do any research. "Um, honestly, I haven't done any work on it yet - but I will."
Leighanne sighed. Something was obviously occupying Brian's mind. "What's wrong, hun?"
"Nothing," Brian answered too quickly, then reiterated, "Nothing's wrong."
She glanced down at the canary yellow diamond ring on her left hand before returning her gaze to his. "I remember when you placed this ring on my finger. I already knew you loved me even before you proposed, but this made me realize that we were going to be sharing our lives for an eternity."
Brian knew she was having difficulty keeping her emotions in check and he felt suffocated by the guilt as she pleaded, "Don't shut me out."
He squeezed her hands. "I'm working through a few things. Please give me a bit more time. I promise to tell you - when I get back. Just two weeks."
"I'll wait," she answered softly as her eyes threatened to spill their tears.
"I want to tell you, but I need to figure it out myself first. I know you are probably thinking that I don't trust you. Please don't believe that." He held her left hand - his thumb gently caressing her finger just below the engagement ring. "Most of all, Leigh, don't doubt my love for you. I couldn't bear that."
"I could never do that, Bri. I love you too much." She lifted her hand to caress his cheek, but instead he turned her palm and placed a kiss there.
His blue eyes connected with hers. She knew she could never doubt him. "I love you, too," he whispered.
* ~ * ~ *
Nick greeted Brian when he arrived at the Skydome in Toronto later that evening. "How was Atlanta?"
"Great. It was so good to see Leigh and the dogs. I miss them so much. And the wedding seems to be getting finalized."
Blue eyes met blue eyes. "So all is okay?"
Brian stared at his friend for a moment, but turned away as he answered, "Yeah, why wouldn't it be." Then Nick watched as Brian walked away before he could quiz him further.
What Nick hadn't told Brian was that Leighanne had called and questioned him about the older man's behavior. With a tear-filled voice, she had told Nick about their discussion at the airport. Her story only served to fuel the his suspicions. Something was wrong with Brian.
As his best friend, it was Nick's duty to find out what it was.
