In Mandarin, it says 'fei1 chang2 tai2 wan1'
(Last update to this page: 4/10/2003)

Weird t-shirts: (sometimes known as T-SHITs) I was once looking out the window as I was riding the bus and saw a girl with the words "HOT SEX NOW" printed across her chest! On the same road, I passed a clothing store which had a whole series of shirts with the brand name (I guess it was a brand name!) "SEXLESS" printed across the chest... Yikes!
On the other hand...: A visitor to this website wrote that he "was in front of the Shin Gong building the other day, and saw a teenage chick rolling around with a t-shirt that said 'I'M SHY because I have a big dick.'" O-tay!
Strange songs in strange places: Taiwan is a place where it's not unusual to hear the song "Short Dick Man" (NOT the "Short Short Man" radio edit) blasting from the speakers in the family-oriented department store. I'm just waiting to see a guy wearing a "Short Dick Man" t-shirt! I once heard something with the lyrics "You got a big dick, I want it deep inside..." (in English) on the bus. (Subsequent revelation: it's called "Asian Boy," and it's by Miss Gigi. Click here to download an MP3 of the song. Make sure you "Save link as..." and rename the file with an "mp3" extension.) The funniest thing about this experience was watching the girl sitting across from me as she stared off blankly into space and tapped her finger to the beat of the music on the seat in front of her. I could only wonder if she understood at all what the song was about.

Did everything come out okay?
Wow! Look what my ISP offered me! You want one, too?
.. My nostrils have disappeared!!!
One of the most unbelievable things I've ever seen in Taiwan was a 6-year old selling beer to a 5-year old at a corner store ! ! !
What "funny" experiences have you had in/about Taiwan?

A visitor to this website from Australia wrote that he once saw an old guy on a bicycle. "He had a dog with him. Its back paws were on the bar that runs between the seat and the handlebars, and its front paws were on the handlebars." In August of 1999, I saw a similar situation -- this time involving a motorcycle. The dog had its front paws on the handlebars as above, but its back paws were on the driver's chest! Hahahaha!

Strange places with strange signs:

Owned by one f... heckuva coffee lover?
"Fuck Tea"
(Buy one, get the other free?)
How do you get to the King's Wang?
King's Wang Bakery (above),
Wang Steak (below)

"Wang" means "king" in Mandarin and is a common family name.
(Native English speakers know will what else "wang" means!)
The first two words in the name of the bakery above, "jin1 ling2," are an old name for Nanking (AKA Nanjing), the former capital of China.

Fuck Tea (left)

I think most people in Taiwan know what "fuck" means!

How'd ya like a Wang Steak wit' dat?

Unusual products (besides the ones above) that you'd never think of consuming back home:

Among the things I've seen (and heard of) in Taiwan which count as "refreshments" are: Pocari Sweat (a drink), Sod Inducer, Brain Chewing Gum, Boring Pie, and potable "Spunk"!

A bit sweet, a bit spicy... yada yada
Try it. It's pretty mediocre.

I'm so thirsty, I'd drink THIS!
How much money would someone have to pay you to drink this?

Chew on THIS!
Just what Dr. Beavis ordered
Vive les P drinkers?
A yellow beverage called
(of all the possible choices)

The 2 most popular toothpaste brands in Taiwan:

Play that funky music, big-nosed white man! Oh the shark bites, and so do the companies that put out this crap. "Darlie" (Mandarin name: Black Man Toothpaste) used to be called "Darkie" (TRUE!). It also had a much worse caricature on the label. It used to be called 'Darkie'
Just finished eating 'crackers'? If you think the average Westerner in Taiwan stands out, can you imagine what it's like to be a dark-skinned foreigner here? Talk about stand out! And what about the little kids whose parents encourage them to yell "Black Man Toothpaste!"? Talk about manners!

When Oreos aren't "binaural" enough:

When Oreos just seem too, well, uh -- monotonous, you can always turn to Miss Julie for help! What were they thinking?!
Cha4 bu2 duo1! Stereos are MUCH more interesting anyway. Don't you think so? Besides, the design is SOOOOOO strikingly original!

Spot the Difference

If you think the Oreo/Stereo conundrum is funny, try to Spot the Difference in these products.
Other Uncategorizable Funny Stuff

Sun cakes: there are more than 75 stores in Taichung that sell this local specialty item. If you take a ride down the length of Taichung Harbor Road (the main thoroughfare) you'll find that many of these stores have set up business right next to each other. Not only do many of them have the same store name -- you can actually find some of these "mondonymous" stores just two doors apart! How does one choose which store to go to? Beats me! (Hint: choose the one with a legal parking space.)

Portuguese Egg Tarts: a recent culinary phenomenon which struck Taiwan around 1999. These small (about 2-1/2 inches in diameter) pastries which can be eaten in 2 bites sell for about NT$25 each (about US$0.80). Stores which sell only these pastries have cropped up all over the place, and of course (like the sun cake stores), their names are usually quite similar. (Note: They're still around in 2002, but they're sold in bakeries along with the other cake-like foods instead of in specialty stores dedicated to this product.)

Laundry conundrum: If you're a foreigner with a Taiwanese wife, you might find some washday habits at least slightly amusing. She might not want to wash socks and underwear in the same batch, even if they're all white! I suppose Taiwanese don't have much faith in either the washing machine or the detergent.

What am I missing (besides "nekkid" women!) that you think ought to be here for others to read about? Click here to e-mail me your suggestions/stories.

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