Cell Phone Withdrawal 73K

Scully: Mulder, are you okay?

Mulder: Yeah, aside from terminal cell phone withdrawal, that and I got to pee. Where are you?

In Your Dreams 55K

Mulder: I would've never seen you again. But you believed me.

Scully: In your dreams.

I Love You 175K

Mulder: Hey, Scully.

Scully: Yes?

Mulder: I love you.

Scully: Oh, brother.

No Place Like Home 90K

Scully: Mulder, I want you to close your eyes and I want you to think to yourself, "There's no place like home."

Atingle 17K

Scully: I'm all atingle.

So Scully 543K

Scully: You phoned me. Would you mind telling me what this is about?

Mulder: I'm Mulder. I'm really Mulder. I switched bodies, places, identities with this man Morris Fletcher the man that you think is Mulder, but he's not. Of course you don't believe me. Why was I expecting anything different? All right, your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is...hell! I don't know your badge number. Your mother's name is Margaret. Your brother's name is Bill Jr. He's in the Navy and he hates me. Lately, for lunch, you've been having, like, this little six-ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt, into which you stir some bee pollen because you're on some kind of bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a scientist and you should know better.

Joanne Fletcher: Cheater!

Scully: Look...any of that information could have been gathered by anyone.

Mulder: Even that yogurt thing? That is so you. That is so Scully.

He's Not Me! 224K --thanks to Val N. (if you would like to take this .wav to be placed on your own site, please contact Val N. and ask first!)

Mulder: Morris. You! You son of a bitch! You orchestrated this whole thing! He's not me, Scully! Would I do this? Would I do this? Scully...Scully! No, you bastard, tell them the truth! Scully, he's not me! He's not me! Scully! He's not me!

I'd Kiss You 26K

Scully: I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly.

Almost Gave Up 17K

Mulder: I almost gave up on you.

Left Cheek Sneak 53K

Scully: Is that a hound I hear baying out in the moors?

Mulder: No, actually that was a left cheek sneak.

You Or Me 67K

Scully: I don't want to shoot you!

Mulder: It's me or you...you or me. One of us has to do it.

You Shot Me First! 46K

Mulder: You shot me first!

Scully: I didn't shoot you, you shot me!

With You 355K

Scully: Mmm. Not that, uh, my only joy in life is proving you wrong.

Mulder: When have you proven me wrong?

Scully: Well...why else would you want me out there with you?

Mulder: You didn't want to be there? Oh, that's, um...that's self-righteous and narcissistic of me to say, isn't it?

Scully: No. I mean...maybe I did want to be out there with you.

Exchange Gifts 207K

Mulder: I know we said that we weren't going to exchange gifts, but, uh...I got you a little something.

Scully: Mulder...

Mulder: Merry Christmas.

Scully: Well, I got you a little something, too.

Gaze At Scully 33K

Mulder: I do not gaze at Scully.

Blind Leading the Blind 287K

Mulder: Yeah...he wants advice. Dating advice.

Scully: Dating advice? From whom?

Mulder: Yours truly. (Pause) Hello? Hey, Scully. Scully, you there?

Scully: I heard you. Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?

Mulder: I will talk to you later.

Scully: The blind leading the blind.

The Best Relationships Are Rooted In Friendship 300K

Scully: Well, it seems to me that the best relationships, the ones that last, are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is...suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.

Gaze At One Another 308K

Holman: I've been envious of men like you my whole life. Based on your physical bearing, I'd assumed you were...more experienced. I mean, you spend every day with Agent Scully, a beautiful, enchanting woman, and you two never, uh...? I confess I find that shocking. I...I've seen how you two gaze at one another.

Mulder's Thurston Howell Impression 106K

Mulder: Hi. My name is Fox Mulder. We used to sit next to each other at the FBI. How's your X-File coming?

Lucky Man 14K

Mulder: You're a lucky man.

Eating My Heart Out 203K

Scully: What are you doing?

Mulder: Being nosy. Eating my heart out. They're sending you on an X-File.

Scully: It's not an X-File.

Mulder: That's not what I'm reading. I'm thinking murder by telekinesis. I'm thinking maybe a shamanistic death touch. I'm thinking about the Muslim superstition that to photograph someone is to steal their soul.

Scully: Thank you. All very helpful.

We're Done With This Conversation 184K

Agent Ritter: You know, Kersh warned me about you.

Scully: Uh, he did?

Agent Ritter: Yeah--you and your partner. God knows his reputation precedes him so I guess I should have seen this coming. You muck up my case, and Kersh'll hear about it. Are we clear, Dana?

Scully: Scully. And we're done with this conversation.

Jagoff Shoeshine Tip 725K

Mulder: Hey, homegirl--word up.

Scully: Mulder, it's my distinct impression that you just cheated. And that you're not coming in again today.

Mulder: Oh, Scully, I got game.

Scully: Yeah, you got so much game I'm wondering if you have any work left in you.

Mulder: No, I'm ready to J-O-B, just not on some jagoff shoeshine tip.

Scully: No "jagoff shoeshine tip?"

Mulder: No background checkin' jagoff shoeshine tip.

Scully: Well, about your J-O-B, Mulder, somebody's been trying very hard to reach you by phone. Somebody who wants you back at the FBI ASAP.

Mulder: About what?

Scully: About an X-File.

One-On-One 137K

Mulder: (bouncing basketball in background) Scully, you want to go one-on-one? We got nothing but time now that we're on administrative leave.

Out Of Here 73K

Scully: Bernard...I have to get my partner out of here.

When Did You Get A Waterbed? 140K

Scully: Since when did you get a waterbed?

Mulder: I...I just might as easily not have a waterbed, and then I'd be on time for this meeting. You might just as easily have stayed in medicine and not gone into the F.B.I. and then we wouldn't have met...blah, blah, blah.

Fate & Free Will 75K

Scully: Fate.

Mulder: Free will. With every choice, you change your fate.

Scully: Then let's change yours. I will deposit your check.

I'll Shoot Her 31K

Bernard: I'll shoot her!

Mulder: What do you think I'll do then?

It's You 42K

Pam: It's you. It's you and your partner every time.

Cover For Me 67K

Mulder: Bank's just down the street. I'll...I'll be back in ten. Cover for me, will ya?

Scully: When do I not?

Poopyhead 30K

Mulder: Isn't that right, honey-bunch?

Scully: That's right, poopyhead.

Let's Get It On 57K

Scully: You ready?

Mulder: Let's get it on, honey.

Scully: All right, then...

Carry You Over 28K

Mulder: Hey...ooh, wait a minute. You didn't let me carry you over the threshold.

Honeymoon Video 20K

Mulder: You want to make that honeymoon video now?

Play House 23K

Mulder: Admit it, you just want to play house.

Make Me A Sandwich 37K

Mulder: Woman, get back in here and make me a sandwich!

Make Myself Clear 18K

Mulder: Did I not make myself clear?

Married Now 42K

Mulder: Come on, Laura...we're married now.

Doggone 73K

Mulder: Dog gone. Dog-gone. Doggone.

Scully: Yeah, I got it.

He'll Go On Forever 75K

Mulder: Animals that aren't supposed to exist, like Sasquatch and the Ogopogo and the Abominable Snowman and...

Scully: Don't mind him. He'll go on forever.

Chummy 15K

Scully: Oh, so you two are chummy?

Kindred Spirit 75K

Scully: I think she saw in you a kindred spirit, Mulder. She may not have been able to express that to you.

Watching You 16K

Scully: I'm watching you.

Wolf Woman 51K

Scully: I don't think wolf woman is here to speak to me. I'm just ah...take a look at the body.

Interested In You 38K

Scully: Mulder, the only thing that Karin Berquist is interested in is you.

He Doesn't Listen 102K

Stacy: You two...um, looking for Karin about boarding?

Mulder: No. It's actually more of a behavior problem.

Scully: Yeah he...uh, he doesn't listen and he chews on the furniture.

Dear Diary 119K

Mulder: Dear Diary, today my heart leapt when Agent Scully suggested 'spontaneous human combustion.'

Mulder, Shut Up 19K

Scully: Mulder, shut up.

Spontaneous Human Combustion 49K

Scully: Spontaneous human combustion.

Mulder: Scully.

What's Mine 14K

Scully: I want what's mine.

To Let Someone In 328K

Padgett: Even now, as she pushed an errant strand of titian hair behind her ear, she worried her partner would know instinctively what she could only guess. To be thought of as simply a beautiful woman was bridling, unthinkable, but she was beautiful—fatally, stunningly prepossessing. Yet the compensatory respect she commanded only deepened the yearnings of her heart—to let it open; to let someone in.

Hegelian Self-Justification 60K

Padgett: The overture in the church had urged the beautiful agent's partner into an act of Hegelian self-justification.

What Would Her Partner Think? 22K

Padgett: What would her partner think of her?

Anything But 84K

Scully: My life's not so lonely, Mr. uh...?

: Padgett.

Scully: It's actually anything but.

You Know Me Better Than That 276K

: You know you're in here, don't you?

Scully: I...I read a chapter. What does it say?

Mulder: Well, let's just say it ends with you doing the naked pretzel with a stranger on a bed in an unfurnished fourth floor apartment. (Pause.) I'm assuming that's a priori too?

Scully: I think you know me better than that, Mulder.

He Got Inside Your Head? 65K

Mulder: You read his book. You read what he wrote about you. Are you trying to tell me that he got inside your head, that what I read is true?

Scully: Mulder, of course not.

Already In Love 153K

Padgett: I made a mistake, myself.

Mulder: What's that, Mr. Padgett?

Padgett: In my book I'd written that Agent Scully falls in love, but that's obviously impossible. Agent Scully is already in love.

To Get His Attention 128K

Padgett: I misjudged her character, her interest in me.

Brazilian Doctor: Now we're onto something.

Padgett: She's only trying to get his attention, but doesn't know it.

Brazilian Doctor: Mmm...the old unconscious at work.

A Story Can Have Only One Ending 284K

Padgett: A story can have only one true ending. Even as the Stranger felt compelled to commit his final words to paper, he did it knowing they must never be read. To see the sum of his work was to see inside his own emptiness—the heart of a destroyer, not a creator. And yet reflected back upon him at last he could see his own ending, and in this final act of destruction, a chance to give what he could not receive.

Nicely Wrapped Presents 411K

Scully: So uh, I get this message marked "urgent" on my answering service from one "Fox Mantle," telling me to come down to the park for a very special, very early or very late birthday present. And Mulder, I don't see any nicely wrapped presents lying around. So what gives?

Mulder: You've never hit a baseball, have you, Scully?

Scully: No, I guess I have, uh, found more necessary things to do with my time than slap a piece of horsehide with a stick.

Mulder: Get over here, Scully.

Personal Question 19K

Scully: Mulder, can I ask you a personal question?

You Rebel 11K

Scully: You rebel.

I Scream, You Scream 261K

Scully: Mulder, this is a needle in a haystack. These poor souls have been dead for fifty years. Let them rest in peace. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Mulder: Oh, I won't sit idly by as you hurl cliches at me. Preparation is the father of inspiration.

Scully: Necessity is the mother of invention.

Mulder: The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.

Scully: Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we may die.

Mulder: I scream, you scream, we all scream for nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicle!

Scully: No...(Scully screech and giggle as Mulder steals a bite.)

The Rest Of The World Just Fades Away 386K

Mulder: What you may find is you're concentrating on hitting that little ball, the rest of the world just fades away--all your every day nagging concerns: ticking of your biological clock, how you probably couldn't afford that nice new suede coat on a G-woman salary...how you threw away a promising career in medicine to hunt aliens with your crackpot, albeit brilliant, partner, getting into the heart of a global conspiracy, your obscenely overdue triple X bill...oh I'm sorry, Scully, those last two problems are mine, not yours.

We're Just Gonna Let It Fly 386K

Mulder: We're not gonna think...we're just gonna let it fly, Scully.

A Capella Blues #2 281K

Scully: I'm playing baseball.

Grays reprising the bluesy number they did on the bus, now the lyrics are "Come And Go With Me To That Land."

Hips Before Hands 352K

Mulder: Now, don't strangle it--you just want to shake hands with it. 'Hello, Mr. Bat, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintence.' 'Oh, no, no, Ms. Scully, the pleasure's all mine.' Okay now, we wanna go--we wanna go--hips before hands, okay, and we wanna stride forward and turn. That's what we're thinking about. So we go hips...before hands, all right?

Scully: Okay.

Mulder: One more time. Hips...before hands. All right?

Scully: Yeah.

Mulder: What is it?

Scully: Hips before hands.

Mulder: Right. We're gonna wait on the pitch, we're gonna keep our eye on the ball...

Scully: Okay.

Mulder: ...and then we're just gonna make contact. We're not gonna think--we're just gonna let it fly, Scully. Okay?

Three Stooges 84K

Mulder (computer manipulated): It's really important. Trust me.

Scully: Yeah, I trust you, Mulder. It's the three stooges I'm not so sure about.

You Didn't Call Me? 14K

Scully: What do you mean, you didn't call me?

Change Your Life Forever 166K

Mulder: Put aside your scientific bias for a moment, cuz what I'm about to tell you is gonna change your life forever—your life, my life, the life of everybody on this planet.

Scully: Mulder.

What Agent Mulder Would Have Thought 425K

Scully: My role in the X-Files has always been to provide a rational, scientific perspective to cases that would seem to defy explanation—a counterpoint to Agent Mulder.

Skinner: And you have done that. You have performed admirably.

Scully: Have I? How many X-Files has my scientific approach fully and satisfactorily explained?

Skinner: Your reports have consistently made sense of his conclusions.

Scully: Sir, this one makes no sense at all.

Skinner: Are you suggesting this is anything other than a murder?

Scully: It's what Agent Mulder would have thought.

This Is A Hallucination 121K

Mulder: Well, what can I say, Scully? I'm here. I'm real.

Scully: Mulder, this is not reality. This is a hallucination—it has to be. And either I am having it or you are having it or we are having it together.

My Office 60K

Scully: You're late.

Mulder: I'm sorry. I thought this was my office.

Not To Me 137K

Doctor: We're waiting to run more tests.

Scully: Waiting for what?

Doctor: He's extremely violent. With what we've given him, he should be in a barbituate coma, but there's brain activity in areas we've never seen before.

Scully: I want to talk to him.

Doctor: No. He's a danger to anyone.

Scully: Not to me.

You're Both Liars 272K

Fowley: If you know what's happening, why won't you tell me?

Scully: Why were you with him last night?

Fowley: He called me. I found him in a university stairwell. He could barely speak. He said I was the only one who'd believe him, about an artifact.

Scully: You're a liar.

Skinner: Scully...

Scully: You're both liars.