Dan picked up the pile of folders sitting on her brand-spanking new desk and shuffled from her brand-spanking new office. She'd been holed up in the tiny lab for most of the day doing DNA sequencing on a bacteria that SG-3 had managed to bring back with them from P2C 5803, and Doctor Fraiser had wanted whatever results she'd come up with by the end of the day.

Unfortunately, that wasn't many - but she had to place more orders for RNA primers and restriction enzymes before she ran out. This sort of work was usually done at Area 51 - but General Hammond had decided that having a molecular biologist nearby might help out if there was any sort of plague brought back from off-world. Dan disagreed, but at least she got the chance to have a good look-see at all the the gorgeous men wandering around the place.

She pulled the door shut with her foot, nearly tripping over in the process, and started off towards the infirmary.

"G'day mate!" a young lieutenant said cheerily as she passed him in the corridor. Dan shot him an odd look, smiled thinly, and continued on her way. She'd been copping that all day - the "G'day mate"s, the "Throw another shrimp on the barbie"s... The moment that they'd found out that she'd lived most of her life in Australia, the slang had pretty much been coming out of the woodwork. Dan vowed for the tenth time that day that she was going to strangle Paul Hogan if she ever caught sight of him.

"Where's your thongs?" another person, this time a woman, inquired with a grin.

"Up your arse," she muttered darkly under her breath and stalked away.

"How about another stubbie?" someone else called from behind her.

Dan paused and took a deep breath. She'd promised herself that she wouldn't start a punch-up on her first day - but her rather limited supply of patience was wearing dangerously thin. Checking her temper, she continued towards the infirmary.

"Hello DanielleLangdon," a deep voice said politely.

"Right!" Dan screamed. Dropping her files, she swung around, grabbed the lapels of the offending person and pinned him to the wall. "Let me get one thing straight!" she hollered at him. "I don't go places in a kangaroo's pouch, I don't have a pet koala - or a platypus for that matter - I have never owned a Swaggie's hat, I don't wear blue singlets and Stubby shorts around my house, I only wear thongs when my sandals are busted, I've never been surfing in my life, I hate AFL, Bushtucker makes me puke, I don't have a beer gut because I don't drink that much beer, the closest I've been to a prison is walking past the watch-house in Mt Isa, I'm not as thick as two short planks, nor am I a few iced vo-vos short of a packet, I don't have vegemite on all of my food and we don't eat shrimp - we *fish* with them!!!!!"

She released the man with a huff, scooped up her manila folder and stormed away before anyone could say a word.

"Wow," Jack breathed. "That's gotta be the worst case of PMS I've ever seen."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow and looked at the colonel, while simultaneously straightening out his shirt. "What is PMS O'Neill?"

"Ask Sam."

The End

Onto Dan's Second Day

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