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SOUTH PARK EPISODE 514 - "Butters' Very Own Episode"

Revision Date: December 18, 2001. Episode Sypnopsis: Butters stars in his very own episode today. Butters inadvertingly stumbles that his dad is homosexual. He reacts (indirectly) towards it, and tells his mother (indirectly). His mom, not wanting for him to live with a gay father, tries to drown Butters in the river. After Mr. Stauch (yes, a revelation of his last name) puts his wife to his senses, they both try to cover the fact that their son is supposedly dead. Congressman Gary Condit, and O.J. Simpson guest star.

Just so you don't get confused:
StauchSurname of this episode's main character
ChrisButters' Dad
LindaButters' Mom

In addition, I'm just too lazy to type all that, but there are two types of transitions between scenes in this episode, so I'll just put it here...

Transition 1

SINGERS

Everyone knows its Butters!

BUTTERS

Well, That's Me!

Transition 2

SINGERS

Butters!

BUTTERS

That's me!

In both situations, there is a colorful backdrop that says "BUTTERS" in balloon letters, with a hole where he pops out of when he says "That's Me!" Don't get it confused with the graphic above: there's no "IT'S THE" and "SHOW" phrases, and there's a hole where Butters' is standing.

Now, the transcript....

EST. EXT. Butters' House - Night

INT. Butters' House - Living Room - Night

Butters enters the room with a wrapped gift, stage left, already occupied with his dad reading the paper, and his mother, tidying up the house.

BUTTERS

Alright, Mom, I'm done wrapping Dad's anniversary present for ya.

CHRIS (sarcasm)

Oh, is it somebody's anniversary soon? Heh heh.

LINDA (playful)

Oh, you.

CHRIS

Just kidding.

Chris grabs the present and shakes it.

CHRIS

Ooh, I wonder what it is.

BUTTERS

Its a...ah, shucks, I can't tell you. But its really nifty.

CHRIS

Well, it looks like we're gonna have to do something extra special for Mommy and Daddy's anniversary this year. How 'bout on Saturday, we all go out to have dinner at Bennigan's!!

BUTTERS (really happy)

BENNIGAN'S?!! Oh boy, you mean it?! Whoopee! Bennigan's! I'm gonna get the rang-a-tang Baby Back Ribs!

LINDA

Calm down, there, cowboy, you've still got 4 days!

BUTTERS

4 days? Oh I don't know how I'm gonna wait that long!

START THEME SONG

SINGERS

Who's the boy who could laugh at a storm cloud? / Turn a frown into a smile for free? / Who's the kid with a heart full of magic? / Everyone knows its Butters!

BUTTERS

That's Me!

SINGERS

Who's the boy with eyes full of wonder? / Teaching yourself who's the best you could be? / Who's that rascal with the tweezers in his pocket? / Everyone knows its Butters!

BUTTERS

That's Me!

SINGERS

Jumping in puddles! / Skipping down the hallway! / Petting pets at petting zoos! / He loves John Alway!

BUTTERS (pissed)

Elway!

SINGERS

Who's the guy with the cutest little dimples? / Batting his eyes at every puppy he sees? / If-you-look-inside-yourself-you'll-might-have-be-surprised-when-you-find a little boy named...Butters!

BUTTERS

That's M-Me!...yeah.

END THEME SONG

As we hear the theme song, we see clips of previous South Park episodes featuring Butters in it, from Episode 308 - "Two Naked Guys in a Hot Tub" to Episode 513, last weeks episode, "Kenny Dies." I won't list 'em until I've obsessively watched 5 second clips at a time trying to type stuff down of the rest of the episode. There's a line, you know.

INT. Butters' House - Living Room - Night

Butters is in the room doing homework now, his mother cleaning again, and his dad reading the paper again (headline: TOWELIE BAN LIFTED; a reference to Episode 509 - Osama Bin Laden has a Tiny Penis, and for the fact that the real Taliban has been dimishing quickly since this airdate.)

BUTTERS

Three more days 'til we eat at Bennigan's, that's...72 hours, aw gee whiz!

CHRIS

Well, if you two excuse me, I need to go and get a certain special lady her anniversary present.

LINDA

I hope he means me, (giggles).

BUTTERS

Don't be silly, Mom. Of course he means you.

CHRIS

I'll be back in a little bit - Butters, you're in charge of the house.

BUTTERS

Yes, sir!

Chris leaves the house, center stage.

LINDA

Oh, I wonder what he's gonna get me this year!

BUTTERS

You won't know...'til we're at Bennigan's!

LINDA

Oh, every year it's the same: your father gets me some great gift, and my gift to him falls short. I've just got to outdo him this year, I've just got to!

BUTTERS

Dad's a good shopper, all right.

LINDA

Butters, maybe you could secretly follow your dad and see what he's getting me?

BUTTERS

You mean...spy on him? But ain't that kinda like fethen?

LINDA

No, its a little different. You remember when the nice policeman gave you a badge and made you an honorary inspector?

BUTTERS

Sure I do!

LINDA

Why, I think that Inspector Butters could go out and find out what Daddy's getting Mommy without him ever knowing! What do you say?!

BUTTERS

Inspector Butters is on the case, ma'am!

Butters leaves home, stage right.

TRANSITION ONE

EXT. South Park Street

Chris enters the street, stage right, and crosses it, whereafter he dons a hat and makes higher his coat. He then turns in the other direction, and exits stage right. Butters, in a nearby bush (with a moustache as a disguise), takes notes. We see Chris go by a gay porn movie theater "Studch Tech" to watch Fisting Firemen 9. He enters the doors.

BUTTERS (taking notes)

Hm? Dad going to see a movie? How nice!

We then see Chris, entering stage right, about to enter a men's bath house "The White Swallow." Chris rings a bell, then enters.

BUTTERS (taking notes)

"White Swallow Bath House."

Transition

SINGERS

Everyone knows its Butters!

BUTTERS

That's Me!

End Transition

EST. EXT. Butters' House

INT. Butters' House - Kitchen

Butters enters the kitchen, stage left, where his mom is cutting vegetables.

BUTTERS

I'm back, Mom!

LINDA

Oh, hi sweetie; did you get to go follow your dad around?

BUTTERS

I sure did. Dad sure had a nice night out.

LINDA

Well, did you he what he got me for our anniversary?

BUTTERS

Well, first, he went to see a movie.

LINDA

A movie? Hum...I wonder why he went to see a movie by himself.

BUTTERS

I don't know, but it wasn't the movie theater at the mall now. It was that really old theater downtown. That Studch Tech. I didn't even know it was open.

Dramatic/suspenseful music starts

LINDA

Wait a minute! What was the movie called?!

BUTTERS

Fishing Firemen 9. I've never seen one through eight.

LINDA

Oh my God.

BUTTERS

But it must've been a real short movie, though, 'cause Dad came out like ten minutes later. It must've been a sad film, too, because he had a bunch of tissue paper with him when he came out. Poor ole Dad. Movie really got to him.

LINDA (shocked, yet calm voice)

Butters. Where did Daddy go after the movie?

BUTTERS

To the gym!

LINDA (somewhat a bit relieved)

To the gym!

BUTTERS

Yeah, the "White Swallow Spa!"

LINDA

(gasp), ah!

BUTTERS

Yeah, he went there and wrestled with all kinds of guys! He wasn't too good though. This one black guy had him pinned down for 15 minutes straight!

LINDA

Butters, are you sure about this - you have to be absolutely sure?!

BUTTERS

Inspector Butters gets all the facts. I even got some neat ole pictures!

Linda, mouth open wide, comes over to Butters, as he brings out his developments. A picture of Chris entering the gay porn theater - A picture of Chris entering the gay bath house - A picture of Chris through a window getting humped by another guy. If I didn't know any better, I'd think that Butters' dad is gay...But Butters, as all 8 or 9 year old kids, can't really tell.

BUTTERS

The only thing I can't really figure out is why Dad told us he was going shopping for his present, when he was going out seeing movies and wrestling!

At the drumroll of the suspenseful music, Linda faints. Butters is still a 9 year old boy....

BUTTERS (cont'd)

Ho, did you have a nice trip, Mom?! See you next fall! (chuckles) Oh. Mom?

Transition

SINGERS

...Butters!

BUTTERS

Well, That's Me!!

EXT. EST. Butters' House

INT. Butters' House - Living Room - The Next Day...


Episode 514 - "Butters' Very Own Episode" Transcript - 19.8% complete
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