» From Fiction To Reality - Part 2
- A September/2003 Special Feature -
by Marion Phillips
::Jump through the text::
Simon, or the being that Therese and I had brought from some other realm, was lodged in my attic room for three months, unbeknownst to my parents and brother and to anyone else apart from my friend and I.
Of course suspicions were raised. When I told my mother that I didn't want the maid to clean my bedroom up anymore, that I thought that I could do that myself, she thought it very strange, as I never had proposed to make this before.
My parents some times would bother us, due to the loudness of our voices when we talked late at night. They thought it was the TV that was turned on a high volume.
Our talks, by the way, were always so very interesting! We talked about history, science, arts, we joked, and we watched movies. Finally I had a friend, a true kindred-spirit to whom I could speak my mind fearlessly.
Simon, whatever he was, was very smart and skilled. He used to be very swift when he needed to get out of my bedroom for any reason, like going to the bathroom or getting himself some food in the kitchen.
He also used to go out a lot, both at day and night, but he never was spotted by anyone in the neighborhood, and he explained to me that he could reach great speeds and climb the roofs of the houses, so that he always came and went from my house unseen.
This discreet attitude from his part made me relieved and made me trust him more. However sometimes it was difficult for me to be that near to him almost all the time I was home and not to touch him, or want to be touched.
There were times that he came to me and touched me on the shoulder, caressed my face with his long warm fingers, and looked in my eyes, smiling, as if he could read all my deepest secrets.
...I heard his steps coming towards my bed...
If I remember correctly it was in the fifth week that late at night, we were both lying on our beds - I on my bed and he on the coach across my room - and I was almost sleeping, when I heard shuffling noises and his steps on the wooden floor.
This wasn't uncommon, as when he felt restless he used to stand up in the middle of the night and go out to walk in the streets and also to hunt. He told me he hunted only rabbits and raccoons when he was in his wolf form, but I'm not sure of it and I still don't like to think on it.
So, that night, instead of listening to more shuffling noises as he changed his clothes, I heard his steps coming towards my bed.
I fully woke up and remained immobile but attentive until I felt his hand on my hip. I turned quickly and looked at him wide eyed. He told me.
"I think we need to talk, Irene."
"About what?" - I asked tensely.
"Us. We can't go on this way any longer…"
"What do you mean?"
"I love you! I want to offer you my love. I want to share it with you."
That was what I feared the most and what I most wanted. Ah, what did I expect of myself? All of us humans are mere slaves of our bodies' needs and desires and I was just a stupid virgin girl who was mad to make her dreams come true completely, especially in that aspect.
But I was still trembling and speechless. I never knew quite what to do in such situations, so I only looked at him and slowly managed to touch his hand and squeezed it just a little.
We had sex that night and from then on, we would do it almost every night in those three months. I was in bliss and I didn't try to rationalize what he was and how things happened anymore. I wanted only to pretend that everything was well and quite normal.
But one day I told Therese about it, when she asked me about him - something she used to do frequently. She stared at me speechless for a moment and then she screamed at me:
"Are you mad? How can you lay with that demon?"
"I don't care if he's a demon." - I silenced for a moment and then decided to tell her all the truth about it - "He has been filling my solitude, he has been the kind of boyfriend that I always wished I would have one day. He's beautiful, intelligent, cultured, has a very good sense of humor, he respects me and he's a damned good lover!"
we'll be bound for all time,
In it I shall be your master."
"Right. Have you been at least trying to find out what exactly he is or what did we do to bring him to life?"
"In truth, I haven't." - she gave a desperate shriek - "I have been keeping the old book inside my wardrobe, and I haven't looked at it for almost two months."
"Great!" - she screamed and then sighed - "If you still want to be my friend, you'll get back home now and you'll read that book, using your good Latin and you'll translate each word. That is, if you still remember which poem you read then."
"Do I?" - I asked myself silently. I thought for a moment and could just get a faint idea of which poem I had read.
But what did I care? In respect for her I searched the poem in the book and found it, but when I was about to start working on the translation, Simon got back from one of his walks in the night and he smiled at me.
"The old magic book. I was thinking about it right now, you know."
"How so?" - I asked, looking up at him from where I sat by the desk.
He got the book from my hands and looked at the cover, his eyes shining.
"You still don't really know what this book is about, do you?"
I looked down and shamefully said:
"I don't know enough Latin to understand it well."
He opened the book and started to translate the Latin words directly to English as he spoke:
"In darkness the lost souls tread,
In silence they wait for release,
From the light I offer you a way out,
I offer you this very light,
In it you shall dwell from now on,
In it we'll be bound for all time,
In it I shall be your master."
It gave me the shivers to hear his powerful voice saying this verses and I got an even worse sensation when he told me:
"This is an excerpt from the poem you read when you called to me, but there's more to it?"
There was a knock on the door, interrupting him and then my father's voice came through it:
"Irene, come here now please. I have some
things to talk to you."
I looked at him and he nodded, understanding that I needed to go.
When I got in the corridor, my father started talking:
"Terrible things are happening in our little town and I want to warn you about it." - then he showed me the issue of our local newspaper that he was holding. In the front page there was the headline 'Three people murdered brutally in the Lakeville County'.
I scanned the news. It was telling that two men and a young woman were murdered not far from their homes, near the woods. Their bodies were dilacerated as if by a famished beast. It even said that the forest police was searching for wolves in the area, although they had been extinguished more than a century ago in the region.
I started to tremble and I tried not to show it to my father, least he would question me about it.
"Beware were you go at night and try never to be alone or to linger in the streets, alright? It's saying here that it can be a wolf, but I think it's just another damned serial killer."
"Sure, father." - I managed to say -
"Can I take this with me, I want to read it carefully. It sounds so
"Yes, it does. You can, of course."
I entered my room and closed the door with a little too abruptly, inevitably slamming it. I stared at Simon's startled face, I raised the newspaper to show the news to him, but he said, raising his hand, asking me for patience:
"I heard everything, and that's why I was reading the book for you. Please listen before you say anything else." - he opened the page that he was marking with his finger and re-started to read it:
"…In it I shall be your master.
From the heights I call to you,
Being of the depths answer my calling,
Angel with two facets you shall be,
Your soul will be my guardian angel,
Protecting me from reckless evil,
Guiding me through time,
Your shadow will be my avenging angel,
Defeating my enemies,
Spreading my wrath,
Assuring my power.
I'm your master,
In the light I release you!"
I remained silent for a moment, too shocked and
confused to say anything.
Then I feebly spoke:
"This means that…"
"...I'll have to kill myself to be able to kill him."
"That there's a double of me. My Shadow. It's this part of me that's killing this people, but I just felt its presence here in this realm tonight, when I was roaming the woods of the Lakeville County. Sometimes it isn't easy to feel the double's presence and I certainly didn't want to remember."
He smiled bitterly.
"In the realm in which we used to dwell, before you and your friend called to us, there was only this deep and helpless darkness. I didn't have a sense of existence as I do now, because it only came to me when I became human. But when I remember that existence, I feel only pain. Mental, physical and spiritual pain." - he raised his head, and frowning, he looked in my eyes with his marvelous sparkling ones - "You set me free from it and I'll never forget it."
I was speechless for a moment and slightly confused. What could I answer him? Which word could express my gratitude for his kindness? I may have taken him from utter darkness, but he also took me from my little gloomy personal life.
"Simon, I also have much to thank you. I may be only a young inexperienced girl, but I know what loneliness means, both social and intellectual loneliness. You gave me the way out of it that I've been yearning for years." - I approached him and touched his face with my right hand - "I don't care what you are, I just want to you to stay."
He smiled softly and became very serious.
"I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay. I'll have to stop my Shadow from killing more people and there's a possibility that I'll have to kill myself to be able to kill him."
I took my hand from his face and walked away from him. I was totally hurt.
"Are you certain this is the only way?" - I asked looking through the window at the lamppost's light.
Slowly I lowered my head and started to weep silently. He approached me and put his hands on my shoulder. For a long time I simply cried and through all that time, he stood quietly by me.
The murders continued to happen, and the news even reached the TV. Always the bodies were terribly mutilated, as if something had fed from them, the only difference, which was very disturbing, was that the murderer seemed to be approaching the downtown area of the town.
Other two weeks passed and Simon told me that he was searching for him every night, but that always when he felt his presence somewhere, he would seem to run away from him and hide somehow.
He told me he felt that his Shadow was searching for someone too, and this person wasn't him.
"Always when the spell was worked, it was done by only one person, and for this reason we served only this individual. But this time as you two brought us, it means that each one of us serves one of you."
My heart started to beat faster and a nervous sweat broke through my body. I stared at his face and as he merely stayed there looking back at me, I asked him:
"What does this mean exactly, Simon?"
"I'm your servant, Irene. But my double must be Therese's servant."
"Oh god!" - I foolishly murmured.
"However, something must have gone wrong," - he continued - "because the Shadow isn't by her side as I'm by yours. When we were released from that realm, I found my way directly towards your light, so I think he mustn't have found hers somehow."
"Therese has to be told about it now! Why didn't you tell me about this before?"
"You didn't ask me to. If you had asked me to tell you about us, what we are, about our history, our powers, I would have told you all that."
"Ah marvelous!" - I stood up and headed for the door - "I'm going to Therese's now…"
"I'm going with you."
I turned to him.
"My Shadow is out there, and his intentions aren't what you would consider good. It's my duty to protect you."
"But I can't appear accompanied by you at her home, besides she lives just across the street."
"I'll catch up with you in her room. No one will see us together, except for your friend, of course."
His expression was very serious and there was a pleading tone in his forever-proud voice.
I sighed, nodded and I went out.
I was received by Therese's smiling mother and she told me she was upstairs and that she had been locked in her room almost all day.
"Maybe you can make Therese come downstairs and have a snack with us. I just prepared her favorite muffins, you know."
"I'll tell her that, Mrs. Logan." - I smiled and went up the stairs.
"...I couldn't even take him from above me, nor put his hands away…"
When I got near her bedroom's door, I heard a faint cry coming from inside and I knocked on the door urgently.
"Therese, it's me."
Some seconds passed until she opened the door and when her face appeared, it was blotched and swollen, as if she had been crying for a long time.
"What happened?" - I murmured as I entered her room.
I looked around and noticed right away that each light that there was in it was on, and that her altar was lit with several different candles, there was a piece of paper with runes written on it, and other details different from what used to be.
"He came to me…" - she murmured as low as I had,
Of course I knew who that could be, but I wanted to be sure about it. Out came her confirmation:
"That demon, Simon." - she started walking from side to side, hugging her arms - "He came here last night and I was sleeping and we had sex and I didn't know what was happening exactly. There was this haze in my head and I couldn't will myself not to do it and I couldn't even take him from above me, nor put his hands away…"
She stopped and sat on her disarranged bed and put her hands to her face, bending it. I went towards her and I put my hands around her shoulders as she wept.
"It was my fault." - I said bitterly.
"It was mine," - she said - "I was bored…Oh god! Of all things in the world I needed to do exactly something as serious as that, just because I was bored!"
"It was my fault…" - said a masculine voice.
We both started at it and stared speechless at the being that was the cause for all this.
He continued to speak as he walked slowly towards us. He looked totally like a common man; nothing in him betrayed his true nature.
"I made it all happen, you know. I was just near enough to hear what you were doing and to use your energies to get me from that dull place in which I dwelled?" - he stopped walking and smiled - "What is it?" - he said as he saw the look on my face.
"You!" - I simply said, as I still had my hands on Therese's shoulder.
In this moment the true Simon appeared in the room as if materializing there, when all he did was move too fast for us to notice.
The two stared at each other, a slight smirk appearing on the Shadow's face.
"It's time for us to decide which one of us will stay." - the double said.
Simon just kept his eyes on him, as we looked from one to the other, not knowing what to do.
"You already made your vows official, didn't you?" - Simon asked.
"Yes, should I have waited for you? You certainly didn't wait for me." - he laughed.
Suddenly I understood what the vows meant: the sex acts. It sounded so vicious to me that I looked at Simon's face with a look of disgust on mine and I saw him making a sad face and turning away.
The double laughed and looked at me.
"She doesn't know anything yet, huh?"
"No." - Simon simply answered.
"Silly children always get messed in their plays!" - he laughed out loud, throwing his head back. I'm sure he could have been heard from outside, only no one noticed it fortunately.
"You know that there's no way for anyone of us to remain in this realm. We'll have to get back." - Simon said.
"I'm not going to get back, but you will!"
Suddenly the double jumped over Simon, and when both fell on the ground, they disappeared, but their presences could still be felt. We could hear noises and it was as if we could feel that they were moving, fighting with each other.
Therese screamed when all of a sudden the lights went out and she stood up, opened the door, ran through the corridor and down the stairs.
The movements still continued in the room, and I could hear low grunts and other noises coming from the place were they had fallen.
I seemed to be glued to the bed, because I just stayed there, trying to see something in the darkness.
The lights in the other houses nearby went out too, and the house started to shake a little, as the noises and grunts grew louder. Then they stopped, as fast as they had started, but the lights didn't get back.
I could hear Therese's voice as she screamed to be released...
Simon reappeared, his clothes were torn and tattered and almost falling from his body. He looked at me and asked:
"She, she ran away… I don't know!" - I stuttered.
"I'll go after her."
He went out the door and I remained in the darkened room, listening to the people talking about the blackout outside.
Only then I noticed that I had been holding my neck with my right hand, even squeezing it a little. I took a deep breath and decided to go after them.
Down the stairs I went carefully, and then out the open door. Once in the street, I took a look around, seeing some people with candles and lanterns, and noticing the cars that had their beacons on.
I had no idea to which direction they had gone to, but when I looked at a narrow alley that there was between two houses and that took to a small park beyond the houses backyard, I went to it and when I arrived at the other side, I realized that I had taken the right path.
I could hear Therese's voice as she screamed to be released, and then I heard Simon's telling the Shadow to let her go.
I stopped some yards away from them, already surrounded by tall trees and I stared at the scene before me, being able to see just a little due to the moonlight that came through the treetops.
I started to recall the day that Therese and I had worked our little magic, and I remembered certain Latin words that I spoke then, but the memories were too scarce to be of any help.
Desperately I tried to think of what I could do to try to save my friend. It seemed the Shadow was almost strangling her, because she started to make small noises and to moan a little.
Simon still tried to make him release her, but the double didn't seem to care as he didn't say anything and kept walking away, dragging her along.
Then I remembered Simon telling me that if I had asked him what I wanted to know about them that he would have told me everything.
And I decided to have a try for better or worse.
I approached them in hurried steps and I told her:
"Therese, Simon will tell us the verses that I read during the ritual and you'll repeat them even if only in thought. Use all the energy you can muster to do it."
I could see her pleading eyes on me, but I held her gaze as if telling her to trust me and do as I said.
Then I told Simon:
"Tell us the verses, Simon."
He started to say them slowly, and his Shadow simply smiled.
At first she managed to repeat the verses in a very low voice, but then she only closed her eyes. The double continued to walk backwards towards the lake, never losing hold of her.
Seconds later, Simon finished saying the words and I told him:
"Tell her what she has to say now to make her control of him official."
"She'll have to say the last two verses of the
I'm your master,
In the light I release you."
We both looked at her. The double and Therese were almost at the bank of the lake and he continued to laugh.
"She won't manage to say it!" - the Shadow said - "This time I'll be truly free, and I won't be controlled anymore!"
She started to shift a little in his arms, moaning as she did so. I was mad to run to her and fight him to set her free with my own hands, and it seemed that Simon noticed it, because he approached me and stood by my side, close enough to stop me from running to them.
Quickly Therese kicked back at his groin, and a grunt came from him, as she bit his arm and managed to set herself free.
She ran towards us and Simon embraced her.
A look of pure hatred hovered the double's eyes and he said:
"She's not strong enough! She'll never manage to control me!"
"Say the words Therese!" - I told her desperately.
She turned back to him, coughed, took a deep breath and raised her head:
"I'm your master,
In the light I released you!" - she said the loudest she could.
The double closed his eyes and then he said viciously:
"I'm yours now, my little witch. You truly released me. I'm waiting for your orders now."
She remained silent for some seconds and then she
"May the flames destroy your body and your soul!"
Suddenly he burst into flames and a loud yell filled the park and echoed off the trees as he burned.
I felt Simon move away from me, and when I looked up at him, I couldn't help but sob and start to weep. His body seemed to be burning from inside out.
He was bleeding from many tiny holes on his skin and as he bled, smoke came out with it, as if the blood were lava.
His skin was getting darker and he had his head bent. He moaned as he fell on his knees and continued to burn, his hot body eventually turned to a pyre of small flames and when the people from the houses nearby finally approached us, there were only ashes on the ground.
In this moment Therese and I were holding each other and crying copiously on each other's shoulders.
People used to stare at us on the streets in the first months, especially the religious ones, because inevitably the rumors spread through our little town. Even now, 5 years later, the Baptists still come to our houses to bother us asking if we don't want to convert to their belief.
The police predictably came and made us some questions, but as there was no proof found of any murder that we could have done, and the police's laboratory couldn't even consider the ashes as human, they left us alone and this story remains the greatest mystery that our town ever had.
"I'm watching and I'm waiting."
I mastered Latin in the first year, and by half the second year, I had finished the translation of the old book.
Therese and I remain close friends, but Rosalind moved to Salt Lake City and it has been a long time since we last talked. When she asked us about what happened and we didn't tell her about it, she started to dislike us, thinking that we didn't trust her, but I think it was better this way.
Not even we can understand what happened well, and who knows what Rosalind would have done with this knowledge?
I can't deny that I still search for ways to try to bring Simon's spirit back and sometimes I can even feel him close to me, especially at night. I've been trying to bring him back for three years and I still didn't succeed.
Maybe I should quit trying…."
Irene finished writing in her journal and closed it.
She sighed and stood up, throwing the pen over the desk. Opening her bedroom's door she went towards the bathroom; closed the door shut, and started to undress to take a shower.
Her thoughts were still on what she had written, remembering the moments she had spent with her Simon, noticing that it seemed as if a century had passed since that moment.
Minutes later she turned the shower's faucet off and opened the shower's door, she went to get her towel from the hanger on the wall and when she looked up, letters were appearing on the mirror above the sink, as if someone was writing them with the finger, using the vapor to make the letters appear.
She stood open-mouthed looking at them, and only after some seconds she managed to understand what the letters meant.
A small sentence had been completed and she approached the mirror to read it better.
"I'm watching and I'm waiting." - it said.
She touched the mirror's surface with her right hand, caressing it and feeling a cold determination growing inside her.
"I'll bring you back Simon" - she murmured - "Or I'll die trying and then join you wherever you may be."
Copyright © 2003 Marion Phillips