Chapter 46
Losing My Grip
"It’s ok Shane I didn’t expect you to."
"I feel bad for you. But you know I do know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t love you back."
"You do?"
"Yeah, I’ve never told any of you guys this. But there was this girl I was just head over heels in love with it was right before we started the band. We were friends you know and we talked all the time. And I developed feelings for her. I ended up getting enough balls to go and tell her how I felt and well she turned me down because she didn’t want to ruin our friendship. And I still remember how that felt."
"Awe."
"Yeah, so I know you feel. So whenever you want to talk I’m here."
Madison smiled and said, "Thanks Shane. I’m so glad you’re understanding, Tony isn’t you know because well he’s never been turned down you know."
"Yeah, he’s wrapped up in his own little world right now."
"Yeah because of Todd."
"Wow you sound a little bit jealous."
"Just a little bit?" Madison asked laughing.
Shane laughed and said, "Yeah."
"Well that’s because I am."
"Because you feel like he’s stole your best friend?"
"Yep and because Tony is so wrapped up with him he doesn’t really care about me anymore and well that hurts."
"Yeah."
"I know I sure am doing a lot of whining today."
"It’s no big deal."
"Yeah but I just feel like I shouldn’t lay all this on you."
"Hey, you know I’m a great listener."
Madison smiled, "Indeed you are."
Shane laughed lightly and replied, "Thanks."
"Anytime sweetie," Madison replied as she started picking at her nails.
"Well honey I hate to cut this so short but I have to go."
"Alright."
"I’m sorry."
Madison smiled and said, "No, it’s alright."
"Ok, I’ll talk to you later. You can call me anytime."
"I know," Madison replied grinning wide.
"As long as you know."
"I do."
"Alright, well I’ll talk to you later."
"Alright bye Shane."
"Bye Madison," Shane replied as he hung up the phone.
Madison set her phone down on the coffee table in front of her. She sighed as she sat back on the couch. She grabbed the remote sitting next to her; she started flipping through the channels before finding a sappy romance movie she hadn’t seen in a while. She lay down on the couch, getting comfortable as she started watching the movie.
"Awe, Madison I wish I could say something right now to make everything alright but I’m not any good at that." Shane replied sincerely.
Madison stretched out on the couch looking at her watch. It was almost midnight and Nick still wasn’t back. Yawning, she got up off the couch and slowly went upstairs; she was tired and didn’t feel like waiting for him any longer.
Walking into their bedroom she grabbed her pajamas and then went into the bathroom. She threw her hair into a ponytail on top of her head as she washed her face. She removed the towel she was using to dry her face off and stared at herself in the mirror for a minute before she changed into her pajamas.
Yawning again she made her way over to the bed crawling underneath the huge down comforter. She adjusted her pillows and after she got comfortable she sighed and laid there looking at Nick’s side of the bed. She yawned again and then closed her eyes eventually going to sleep.
Nick came stumbling into the house a little after one. He had gone out with some of his friends and got completely hammered. It wasn’t his plan to get so drunk but he didn’t try and stop himself or anything. He didn’t even plan on going out until he saw one of his old friends in town. One drink led to another and a few hours later he was in a cab on his way home, drunk.
Nick looked around the living room and he assumed Madison was asleep. He started to make his way up the stairs and started to sway backwards a little he stopped grabbing onto the railing and then laughed before he continued up the stairs.
He made it to the top of the stairs and walked into their bedroom. He stopped at the foot of the bed and looked at Madison lying on her back with one hand on her stomach and the other underneath her pillow. The cover was only covering her legs and he could see her nipples through her tank top. He groaned as he felt his pants get a little tighter. He quickly got out of all his clothes and climbed on top of Madison slowly.
He hovered over and then leaned down, his lips crashing down onto hers as his hands immediately went to her breasts.
Madison opened her eyes quickly and rather frightened as she jerked up a little trying to get him off of her. He reeked of alcohol, smoke, and cheap perfume.
Nick moaned into her mouth and then started to kiss her neck.
Madison put her hands on his shoulders trying to push him off. "Nick you’re drunk," She said.
He looked back at her and kissed her again as he undid her pants while she started to wiggle underneath him even more. He pulled away from her getting angry. "Stop fucking moving," He said staring intensely at her.
With that look she didn’t even want to test him, she stopped moving as he proceeded to take her pajama pants off along with her panties. She closed her eyes tightly as he started to kiss her neck again and then he pulled her shirt up and started to kiss along her breasts.
Nick kissed her again as he entered her in one swift move. Madison cried out in pain, this was only the second time it was bound to still hurt. Madison held her eyes closed as Nick started to move fast and hard. She tried to focus all her thoughts to something else but it wasn’t working she could only think about what was happening.
Nick looked at her and saw that she had started to cry a little. He started to move even faster and harder. He would push back into her so hard they were actually moving closer to the headboard. He moved his hands slowly down to her hips to hold her in place as he moved.
Madison opened her eyes and looked at Nick. He smirked at her as he continued to move. She stared at him for a minute and then closed her eyes again hoping that it’d be over soon.
Nick leaned down and kissed her and then kissed his way over to her ear. "You like it like this baby?" He whispered in her ear before he licked around it and then sucked on her ear lobe.
He kissed his way back down to her breasts he started sucking and licking one of them and accidentally bit her nipple. Madison bit her lip and shook her head as he kissed her gently and whispered that he was sorry against her lips before he kissed her intensely as he came.
He slowed down and eventually stopped. He pulled out of her and collapsed next to her. He grabbed the cover covering himself up as he tried to catch his breath. He kissed her check before he rolled over eventually passing out.
Madison laid there staring at the ceiling, so many feelings running through her. She wanted to get up but she didn’t feel like she could actually do that. Finally, gathering the strength she slowly got up from the bed and made her way into the bathroom.
She closed and locked the door behind her. She turned to look at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were bright red from crying and her hair was sprouting out of the ponytail. She looked down at her body and then looked back up as she walked over to the shower. She turned the water on and stepped in letting the steaming hot water run down her back.
She had a pretty good feeling that she was bleeding but she didn’t want to look to see. She leaned her back against the wall closing her eyes as she just stood there letting the water run all over her.
Madison finally got out of the shower after all the hot water was gone. She sat on the sink in nothing but a towel just staring off into space. She didn’t know what time it was and frankly she didn’t care. She grabbed her brush and started to brush her wet hair.
Everything that just happened kept replaying in her mind. She couldn’t make it stop and she couldn’t help that she was already making an excuse for him. He was drunk, he didn’t know any better.