Chapter 42
Amazing How Fast Things Change
"Night sweetie."
"I love you."
Nick rolled over and didn’t say anything.
"Nick?"
"Mm?"
"Did you hear me?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
"What?"
"Don’t you want to say something?"
"Damn Madison I told you I didn’t feel the same stop badgering me about it."
"Damn Nick don’t get so snappy with me. You told me you loved me last night."
Nick rolled over and looked at Madison, "What?"
"Yeah."
"I doubt that I would have remembered that."
"Oh so I was just dreaming or something?"
"Might have been."
Madison sighed and rolled over frustrated.
"Good night Nick," Madison said, that night, as she kissed Nick’s cheek.
"So we’re going to go back into the studio late next month. You’re going to come with me right?"
"I hadn’t planned on it," Madison replied as she stared at the ceiling the next morning.
"Well I want you to."
"Why?"
"Because I said so. What are you going to do if you don’t go?"
"I don’t know go back to New York get the rest of my things. Who knows I’ll find something to occupy my time."
"I want you with me."
"Why? Don’t trust me?"
"I didn’t say that."
"Then why?"
"I’ll be worried about you."
Madison sat up and looked at him. "In other words you don’t trust me. What do you think I’ll do? Go and cheat on you? Sleep with another man? I’m not you."
Nick glared at Madison as he got up slowly from the bed not saying a word.
"Oh now you don’t have anything to say huh?"
"Madison if I were you I’d stop it right now."
"No, I want to know why you want me with you so bad. Why you’re so possessive and shit?"
"Madison."
"What?"
"Just stop."
"What are you going to do? I just want some answers."
Nick walked over to her and pointed at her, "Not now. Just fucking drop it for now," He snapped at her and then stormed out of the room.
"Damn," Madison said sighing as she flopped back down on the bed looking up at the ceiling.
Madison laid there on the bed for a minute and then jumped up and walked over to her bag grabbing her journal and then walking into the bathroom locking the door behind her. She sat down with her back against the door and her knees pressed against her chest. She opened up her journal to a clean sheet of paper and began writing.
It’s interesting how things can seem so wonderful and then turn into something so completely different in a matter of minutes. But I guess that’s what it’s like with Nick. Right? He’s moody. I’m getting used to it. I’m sure he can’t help it, and I’m sure I probably say something I shouldn’t say and then he gets mad. It’s normal. Welcome to the world of Nick, it’s going to be a bumpy ride but the view is amazing. I’m a huge dork. I’m so in love with him it’s crazy. But I mean who couldn’t be in love with him. It’s funny the last time I wrote in here I was talking about how I wanted him to leave me alone. Thank god he didn’t.
THE night. That night was… incredible, wonderful, amazing, interesting, and unbelievable. I can’t believe it happened really. I don’t know what came over me. But I’m glad it did. I love Nick and well I waited for the one I love. So I’m happy. Well, except the pain. But I’m not getting into that. I’d like to focus on the good stuff. The good stuff is the best stuff. Man, when did I become all cheesy and when did I become a hopeless romantic? Ok, so I’m not totally a hopeless romantic yet, but it could happen.
Nick said he loved me. Well, kind of he said ‘me too’ and in my book that’s saying he loves me. But when I asked him about he got snappy with me so maybe he doesn’t remember saying it. Well, hopefully he’ll tell me sooner or later. I know he has feelings for me you can tell it’s quite obvious but I just want to hear those three small words and I think I’d be the happiest person in the world.
Sometimes I wonder if I should be with Nick. I know I want to be. But is it truly the right thing? I know great things to be thinking about after last night huh? But I can’t help that my mind wanders. I mean is Nick right for me?
Of course! Duh! You idiot.
"Madison?" Nick asked as he knocked on the door.
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing?"
Madison closed her journal and then looked around and said, "Nothing."
"Are you going to be long?"
Madison looked around and said, "Uh… I don’t know."
"Ok, well I want to talk when you get out."
"Alright," Madison replied as she leaned back against the door. She reopened her journal and began to write again.
What good comes from the phrase ‘I want to talk’? In movies and TV it doesn’t always turn out all that well, does it? Listen to me, comparing real life to movies and TV.
Wanting to talk isn’t bad. Right? I hope not. No, I know it’s not. It’s not bad at all. It’ll be fine. Yeah.
I love Nick probably more than anyone would ever know. Being in love is a wonderful feeling. I highly recommend it for anyone. I know soon he’ll finally tell me what I want to hear. Or maybe he is going to tell me today. He said he wanted to ‘talk’…
Madison sat there and thought about what she just wrote. She stood up quickly and walked out of the bathroom throwing her journal back in her bag and then she started to run downstairs.
"Nick?" Madison called out as she walked downstairs. She looked around the living room and then walked into the kitchen and saw Nick sitting on the step of the patio.
She walked out of the door quietly and sat down next to him.
Nick looked over at her and smiled, "Hey."
"Hi."
"What were you doing?"
"Nothing," Madison replied shrugging.
"It had to be something."
"It was nothing of importance."
"Why can’t you tell me?"
"Because there is nothing to tell you, so what did you want to talk about?"
Nick sighed, "About you going with me."
Madison shook her head as she crossed her arms.
"What’s that for?"
"I told you I didn’t want to go."
"I don’t understand why."
"Because I don’t want to sit in a studio while you record or a hotel room while you record all night. I could be doing something else using my time wisely."
"You don’t have to just sit around you can still use your time wisely."
"Nick, I’m not going to go with you," Madison replied as she stood up and walked back in the house.
"Don’t you understand I want you with me so we can be together?" Nick asked as he stormed back into the house.
"No, I feel like you don’t trust me or something."
"There’s nothing wrong with that," Nick replied crossing his arms.
"What? What the fuck are you talking about? I haven’t done anything for you not to trust me. If there is any kind of trust issues in this relationship it’d be me not trusting you," Madison yelled back at him.
"Are you going to keep using that as a fucking excuse?"
Madison sighed and said, "Nick this is ridiculous. This is by far one of the stupidest things to have an argument over." And then she walked out of the room and into the living room.
"So you’re saying I’m stupid?" Nick snapped as he walked into the room standing in front of her.
"No, now you’re putting words into my mouth," Madison replied as she turned around and started to walk out of the room.
"Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking," Nick snapped as he grabbed her arm pulling her back.
"Fuck. What the hell is your problem?" Madison asked as she tried to remove Nick’s hand from her arm.
"I want you to listen."
"I am listening damn it! Let go you’re hurting me," Madison replied as she almost started crying.
Nick let go of her arm and then just stared at her for a minute and then he stormed out of the house. Madison watched him leave and then flopped down on the couch holding her arm as she started to cry.