Chapter 33
Crash and Burn
“Madison? What are you doing? It’s 3AM.” Nick said as he stood in the doorway squinting to look at her.
“I know.” She replied simply as she continued to stare at the same spot on the wall.
“Are you just going to sit out here and stare off into space?”
“For a while.” She replied softly.
“Alright.” Nick said as he turned around and started to walk back to bed but turned around and looked at her again for a minute and then walked back into the bedroom to go back to sleep.
Madison looked over in the direction of the bedroom to see that Nick had already went back to sleep. She slowly moved down on the couch so she was lying on her back with one of her hands underneath her head.
She closed her eyes and tried to think of anything but Nick and the fact that she didn’t hear what she wanted to hear from him. She should suck it up and forget about it. He did say he cared about her, a lot, which should mean something to her at least. So she should just give him time. Right? Time, that’s the answer. He’ll tell her what she wants to hear in due time.
Madison sat up satisfied with the conclusion she came up with. She stood up and walked back into the bedroom. She slid underneath the covers and snuggled up to Nick’s chest. He moved slightly and wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer to him. He kissed her forehead and mumbled something close to goodnight and then he fell back asleep. Madison smiled as she closed her eyes and went to sleep herself.
Madison sat on the couch in the dark late that night thinking about what Nick said. She said it wouldn’t bother her, that is was ok if he didn’t say anything back. But in all reality it wasn’t ok, and it did bother her. This was the first time she had ever felt like this and the person she confessed her feelings to didn’t feel the same. It wasn’t exactly the best feeling in the world. She wanted to pretend that she was ok with it but deep down it was bugging her that he couldn’t say the same thing back to her. Of course, she’d make excuses for him; he was a guy and they don’t like all that mushy stuff and they never expressed their feelings like that. So she should just understand and not be so upset. Well, that’s what she should do, but it wasn’t what she was doing.
“So you told him?” Tony asked Madison that morning as they sat in his hotel room.
“Yeah.” Madison replied looking at her hands.
“And? What he say?”
“That he didn’t feel the same but he did care about me a lot.”
Todd snorted in the background and Madison turned around glaring at him. “Typical guy answer.” He mumbled when Madison turned back around.
“It’s ok sweetie. It could be true. We are dumb sometimes when it comes to emotions and love and all that shit. But that is kind of a burn huh?”
“Yeah it’s no big deal really I knew he didn’t feel the same. It’s cool. I just wanted to tell him, I can wait.”
Tony smiled at her and said, “You ready to get some food now?”
“Uh, sure.” Madison responded apprehensively.
“Toddy?”
Madison mouthed ‘Toddy’ to herself as she walked over to the door.
“No I’m fine muffin. Have fun.”
“Be back later.” Tony said as they walked out of the door.
Nick groaned and whined slightly as he reached for his cell phone that was lying on the floor. “Yo?” He answered it as he lay back down.
“Morning sunshine.”
“Aaron, damn boy I didn’t know you got up this early.”
“It’s noon Nick.” Aaron replied seriously.
“Oh.”
“So mom told me you are going to come hang with me for a while, while you’re girl is in Europe.”
“Yep.” Nick replied as he got up and started looking around the room for Madison.
“Speaking of your girl how she is? Still fine?”
“Aaron.”
“Nick.”
“I’m not sure where she is.” Nick said as he flopped down on the couch giving up the search.
“She leave you?”
“I guess maybe her and Tony went somewhere.”
“Who’s Tony?”
“Her best friend.”
“You worried about that?”
“Why would I be he’s gay.”
“For real?” Aaron asked amazed.
“Uh, yeah. He’s in the band I thought you liked them.”
“Oh… oh yeah I like them they are tight.”
“Yeah I bet you haven’t even heard any of their songs.”
“I have, I just don’t know all their names I just pay attention to your girl cause damn she’s smokin’.”
“Aaron what did I tell you?” Nick asked pointing his finger in the air, at nobody.
“You know I can just see you pointing your finger in the air like you are pointing it at me or something.” Aaron replied laughing.
Nick put his finger down quickly and said, “So what did you want bro?”
“Just wanted to talk.”
“Oh alright.”
“So how’s the love life going?”
“Complicated.”
“Complicated? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Stop talking like that and I’ll tell you.”
“Alright old man.”
“Hey.”
“What?” Aaron asked innocently.
“Anyway, it got complicated last night because Madison told me she loved me.”
“Ooh…” Aaron replied in a childlike tone.
“Stop it.”
Aaron started laughing and said, “Continue. Did you tell her you loved her too?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t.”
“Oh.” Aaron replied as Madison walked into the room.
“Hey she just came back so I’ll call you later bro.”
“What’s she wearing?”
“Bye Aaron.” Nick said louder ignoring what Aaron said.
“Yeah bye.” Aaron said slightly disappointed.
“So where’d you go?” Nick asked as he got up walking over to Madison as she took her shoes off.
“Uh, me and Tony went out for food you were asleep when I left I didn’t want to wake you up or anything.”
“You could have left a note.”
“Are you getting angry?”
“Yeah, I want to know where you go.”
“What are you my keeper now? God, its ok I went and got food it’ll be okay.”
“Next time tell me.”
“Fine.” Madison said as she walked passed him and into the bathroom.
Madison walked into the bathroom closing and locking the door behind her. She turned on the shower as she kneeled in front of the toilet, emptying out all the food she just ate.
She sat back against the tub with her head in her hands as she began to cry softly. She didn’t even really have a reason why she did it this time. Maybe it was the toothpick waitress at the restaurant wanting her autograph and then asking about Nick. Or maybe the fans eyeing her as her and Tony walked in and out of the restaurant. Either way it was something. She just wanted to be perfect for Nick. She wanted to be able to live up to everyone’s standards of a pop star’s girlfriend. That’s all she wanted, to be accepted by not only everyone else but also by Nick.
Madison slowly got up from off the floor and stripped out of her clothes. She slowly emerged into the shower letting the hot water run all over her as she stood there with her forehead against the wall.