"Are you sure you want to do that Nick? I mean you guys have been through a lot, and damn what about the kids? Divorce is hard on children. Look me at me; you want Trenton to turn out like me?" Nick looked at AJ strangely, "don’t answer that. I’m serious before you think of anything that drastic, weigh the possibilities; you love her."

"But sometimes love isn’t enough." Nick replied quietly.

"Bullshit, all you need is love man. If you have love then what else do you need? Love will always win."

"You been watching some cheesy ass romantic movies or some shit?" Nick asked while he laughed.

"Shut up."

Nick continued to laugh and then stopped. "AJ what would you do?"

"I told you man I don’t know."

"Come on AJ think about it, what would you do if you found all this shit out about Michelle?"

AJ sat there a minute thinking. "I’d probably talk it out with her, everything just spill everything, and then I’d probably tell her I still loved her, and that she hurt me but it’s in the past. I’m not going to dwell in what happened years ago, I’ll forgive her but it will take a while for me to heal. Then go have some make up sex." AJ said finishing it off with a cheesy smile.

Nick shook his head laughing then asked, "Do you think that’s what I should do?"

AJ looked at him and said, "You do what you think is right. But before you make a decision you have to weigh everything, and I mean everything."

Nick just nodded.

"It’s not going to be easy whatever you choose."

"Nothing in my life has ever been easy especially when it comes to Jana." Nick said grinning slightly.

"Nikki?" Jana asked later that night when they were watching TV.

"Yeah?" Nikki asked as she looked over at Jana.

"I’m a horrible person aren’t I?" She asked softly.

"What? No, I don’t think so. I think you’ve made stupid choices in life but you’re not horrible."

Jana smiled weakly.

"Jana, you need to stop thinking about all the bad shit. That’s always been your downfall; you always start thinking about the bad shit anytime. You need to stop; you’re going to make yourself sick."

"I already have."

"Huh?"

"I have already puked, earlier."

Nikki just nodded and turned back to the TV.

"I really do love him."

"I know you do sweetie."

"I do." Jana said quietly and began to cry again.

"He knows that and he loves you." Nikki said in a soothing tone.

"I’m not so sure anymore."

"Nick did you remember that we are going to go to New York in two weeks?" AJ asked Nick softly breaking the silence.

Nick nodded.

"You don’t have to go; I think the guys will understand."

"It’s only two days; maybe it’ll be good for me."

"What about Jana and Trenton and Alyssa?"

Nick shrugged. "I haven’t decided on anything yet. I’m thinking about everything like you said I should. So while we’re gone Jana will have the kids. God I hope it’s kids; you have no idea what it feels like to not know where your son is. To not know whether or not he’s alive. It’s by far the worst feeling in the world."

"I can’t even imagine what it must feel like."

"Let’s just hope you never have to go through this." Nick said looking at AJ.

AJ just smiled and patted Nick on the back.

Nick walked into the house the next day, in the late afternoon. Alyssa ran in and straight up to her room. Nick closed the door behind him and walked into the living room there was no sign of anyone. Then he made his way into the kitchen and he could see Jana sitting on beach, she was hugging her knees and she was crying; no she was sobbing uncontrollably. Nick opened the door and he could hear her, he closed his eyes for a brief moment and shook his head, it broke his heart to hear her cry like that.

He slowly started walking towards her. A million thoughts running through his head. What was he going to say? What should he say? What should he do? What was she going to say?

Before he knew it he was standing inches from her and she hadn’t noticed. He walked over next to her and sat down, still not getting a reaction from her. Then her cries got a little softer, she sensed he was there. He stared down at her as she slowly lifted her head to look at him.

Nick stared at her, her eyes red and puffy, even how much she hurt him he couldn’t help how much he loved her. He smiled weakly at her and reached up to push a strand of her hair behind her ear. She looked at him with a blank look on her face.

"I’m so sorry." Jana whispered in a hoarse voice.

Nick smiled a little at her and took her hand in his and started to rub his thumb over the top of her hand and then he started to look straight ahead at the ocean.

Jana stared at him waiting for some kind of reply, anything she just wanted to know what was going through his head.

Nick looked back at her. "We have a lot to talk about." He said softly.

Jana swallowed hard and nodded.

Nick smiled weakly. "You looked terrified."

"I am."

Nick laughed lightly and said, "Why?"

"I’m scared to hear what you want to talk about."

Nick leaned in and whispered in her ear, "It’s not what you think."

"How do you know what I’m thinking?"

Nick raised his eyebrow. "I know you." He replied.

Jana smiled a little at him.

"So, where should we start?"

Jana shrugged. "You choose, you ask I’ll tell."

"I really don’t want to know the details, because to think of you with someone else isn’t exactly what I want to think about. So keep it general."

Jana nodded.

"How many times?"

"Twice."

"When?"

"When I went back home before the wedding."

Nick nodded and was quiet for a second. "Why?" He asked softly.

Jana stared at him. "I’m not sure why. I guess because I wanted to be with him so much before and then I got the chance and just went for it, and it was after I found out about you and that girl at the club and I was upset and it was just an irrational decision." Jana replied, now she was playing with the hem of her shirt.

"How come you didn’t tell me about it?"

"I didn’t want to, plain and simple I just didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want to disappoint you."

"What about Trenton why didn’t you tell me that?"

"Same reason and I was so scared that you would leave. Everyone I’ve ever loved has always left and I didn’t think I could handle that, that’s why I just kept it from you."

"Jana you have to learn, I know and see all. I’m the almighty pop star, and you can’t keep anything from me. In order for this work we have to be honest with each other." He replied grinning slightly.

"I know." Jana replied quietly as she continued to play with the hem of her shirt.

"Jana look at me."

Jana slowly moved her head to look him in the eyes.

"You’re beautiful. I don’t think I’ve told you that in a while. You’ve always been beautiful, no matter what. And I want us to live happily ever after, this has to work Jana. A life without you isn’t going to work for me. If there is anything else you’ve kept from me you need to tell me now. And if not then, we’re going to go inside and try and put this behind us. It’s going to take me a while to get over it, but I’m going to get over it and we’re going to move on. Ok?"

Jana began to cry as she nodded.