"We can't sell this horse.  She's been ruined."  That's when I spoke up and said, "I'll buy her".  The detailed story makes up this blog. 

The sale went thru and I went to visit my new horse.  She was in stall 9.  She was hiding from everything human - facing the back of the stall with her head down.  I went into the stall and visited her. I raised my hand to rub her and she flinched. The skin on her back rolled like an ocean wave from her hips to her shoulders. I marvled at the rippling ocean of fear. I tried again and was able to touch her.  When I went to leave, I must have made a scary movement of my arm.  This time she flinched and her eyes rolled back in her head.  This drove the stall cleaners crazy. Everytime they cleaned her stalls, her eyes rolled back into her head when the pitchfork was raised.

Sue was a fruit-loop crazy horse.  I had met her when she wasn't.

That was the start of the bringing back a fried horse named Sue.

She was scared of people and other horses getting too close.  She was a fearful claustrophobic horse.

What times we had in the beginning.  When I rode her, it was like being on a rocket ship about to launch.  One time I had the great idea to ride her bareback.  I got on and then it occurred to both of us to wonder if I was insane.  We made it slowly down the long end of the arena and I got off, thankful to be alive.

I yelled at every one of my friends while I was riding Sue. They either made loud noises or raised their arm within a mile of Sue and I.  Both caused Sue to bolt. (Sue knew that a raised arm was for hitting.)

There was one group ride where not only did I yell at one of them, I also cried because I had yelled. An arm was raised and Sue and I bolted into a gravel road. It was my finest hour of humiliated emotional unfitness.  Thank goodness all of them understood.  No one took offense and all remained friends. When they were to ride with me, they chatted amoung themselves to make certain to remember to keep their arms at their sides when I was riding Sue.

I got off to a mounting block once where a body part of mine made an "illegal scary movement".  I had one foot on the mounting block, but I was leaning forward with my weight on Sue.  She moved sideways and I fell head first into the dirt right besides her. She didn't run off which was a great realization at how far she had come.

Gradually, I lost my riding confidence.  It would have been totally gone if I had not had JR to ride.  The balance of riding a horse that is not scared of everything really helped.  I lost it and regained it - sometimes in the same day if I rode both horses.

I've now been thru three separate journeys of total horse-riding fear.  It's great when you come out on the other side and master the fear. It's very impowering. When you are in the midst of the fear, you don't know if you will ever get to the other side. Being older doesn't help the fear journey - sneaking self doubts creep into the fragile ego. I had plenty of them! 

I now have become much more aware of how to help people with fear of riding.  I have experience! With a warp-up-into-rocket-launch bolting horse like Sue, there's nothing that can beat riding in circles or figure 8's.  That become my main weapon against fear with Sue.

My most brilliant moment came when I sent Sue to be rode by 12 year old Nichole Copple.  Sue stayed with Nichole about 60 days.  Nichole made huge progress to vanquish Sue's fear.

When I got Sue back, she no longer felt like a rocket launcher.  I cleverly let other people ride her so I could see with my own eyes that my fear had nothing to feed on.  Of course I didn't tell them that I was using them to test Sue!  Sue was also way better when other horses came close to her.  Much of her claustrophobia had disappeared.  Nichole did a heck of a job with Sue.  I am forever grateful.

Sue's body posture and eyes changed twice while I had her.  Her rigid body got softer and her dull glazed eyes changed to brightness.  Many people commented on her change-that time.
The next time, her bright hard eyes changed to liquid dark gold and her body posture relaxed again.  Several of my friends wondered where I had got the new horse.  They were stunned to discover this was Sue.

When I got Sue back from Nichole, a new chapter started.  The fear left me too.  I rode Sue in the Fox Trotter all breed horse show in August 2008.  We made the trek from the trailer to the arena.  We did great in the arena and then rode back to the trailer.  We did that more than once.  That was huge.

Sue and I started riding on trail rides with great success.  What a great time we had. She's a trusty experienced trail horse.

My two young horses that had been in training for this past year came back home in September '08.  That made three horses to ride.  Two horses and I are ready to build up our skills for showing in versatility contests. These two horses have all their potential and I have years to build into super horse fame with both of them.  This was a planned journey in my life.

My journey with Sue was not planned.  I'm so grateful that I had this journey with her.

Sue with her deep warm dark eyes now comes within a couple of feet to strangers hoping for treats.  During the last three years, I made certain that many "strangers" had treats for her. 

Sue has another journey now...that of precious brood mare.

Sue has a heaven-on-earth "mare' home. She runs free in a huge huge pasture with a beautiful meadow, forests and a stream.  She's in a pasture where you can't see the fences - it's that big.  She's got about 8-9 new mare friends.  Sue will have a baby every year. Sue loves having a baby.  She nickers at foals.  Sue has no pressures; nothing to be afraid of; she will not be rode.  Her new owners are excited to have her and will take the best of care of her.

When she left me, I placed her in a stall for Jenny to pick her up to take her to the new home.  It just happened to be stall 9. 

Jenny picked up a different horse from the one that was there 3 years ago.

I disaprove of this time of the year.  Daylight savings has been ripped away.  I come home in the dark.  I come home in the cold.  It's just not fun to think about taking one of my sweet darlings over to Pine Dell to ride just yet.

So, I'm just feeding the herd.  Sue is getting more comfortable in her skin. She's getting more dominant.

For the first time ever, she laid her ears back at me and stuck out her head.  I was walking in the pasture with my feed bucket.  Sue, being brave enough to try to dominate me? Good Gosh!

Of course all it took was a faint wave of my arm and she backed right down.

I couldn't believe it.

Round pen canter success!  It took poles in the round pen.  I had them about 2" off the ground.  We clattered thru the poles at a pace and that undefined gait, we gaited horse people just love...the anti-rythym gait. We had some actual canter steps and we stopped before she broke out of the canter. I fed her a big Winnie's cookie crumb every time she cantered. Then I decided perhaps we could go for half a circle at the canter.  It took a while for us to canter at all...and then she cantered an entire half the circle.  I immediately got off and gave her a Winnie's cookie.  Do you think she'll remember that it was the canter that got me off her back and a Cookie?  You be the judge!

We left the round pen.  After a short time of eating grass, I climbed back on again and we went up "canter hill".  We went up "canter hill" several times without cantering. Oh well!

We were on our way to a wide open flat grassy 40 acre riding area! Yee haw!

 Then we spent about 2 hours in the 40 acre field.  Her emotions rise like a huge orchestrated creshendo!  She was nervous almost all the time...she got more nervous as time went on.  But we were always able to stop and eat. She was able to back up about 1-2 steps whenever we stopped.  Her body was so tense that she locked up every time we tried to back.  She tried really hard to head in the direction of the barn-worse when she got more nervous.  I did everything in the book of lateral flexion while we were going.

We probably looked like a dapple bay round ping pong ball as we zipped  up and down the field...and across the field...to the stable and away from the stable.

This is the first time that this hasn't made me nervous.  I actually had a good time dealing with this.  In the past when Sue and I have rode in the 40 acres, I could take it for a while and then my fear would creshendo up.  The first time I rode her in the 40 acres by myself...well I thought I was lucky to make it back alive!

During the last and worst of our journey up and down the 40 acres, I felt like she could run away with me.  Then I thought...why not!  This horse doesn't CANTER!! How bad could running away with me get?  I let her go really fast several times without asking her to stop and back too soon.  Of course she was emotional and was doing a flying pace.  She would have made any Icelandic horse proud!

Sue was ringing wet all over. She had foam on her head where the bridle goes.  Some of the wetness was emotional and some of it was exhertion. It was an 80 degree day in the Kansas City area...without humidity. We love days like this!

We did calm down enough to make it into the big ourdoor arena where I got off.  If I rode this horse everyday like this, she would be Whippet-Thin!

I'm thinking Sue is related to an onion.  You peel something off and there's still more to puzzle about underneath.
At least she's smooth. And she loves me.

The round pen has fairly deep sandy footing.  That's why Sue canters in there so well.

Sue doesn't canter in the arena with me riding.  Oh maybe a step or two now and then when I have a pole for her to lift up her front end.

We are still nervous when I put pressure on her to go faster.  If we are trotting and I put pressure on her to go faster.  Occasionally I'll get a couple of canter steps and then we disentigate into every foot doing something different.

I"ll have to take a mounting stool and go into the round pen.  We must canter.

Today she was cantering in the round pen with the three beat canter.  From my middle point, I raised up my stick in front of her and she did a sliding stop.

Yes, really.  I couldn't believe it either.  We tried the other direction and she has a nice stop.  It's only to the left that she has a sliding stop.

I am still marveling.  It must mean she is putting that weight back on her rear end and cantering.

Ok, that's it.  I must ride in the round pen. I hate the mounting stool.  I hate having the mounting stool being in the round pen when I'm running around.  It diverts my attention.  I do have my little peculiar oddities.  I'm not perfect.

Dogs are nothing to worry about. We are used to dogs.

I rode Sue today at home. We went further than we ever have before.  We were accompanied by our nice Lena dog. She's a senior German Shepherd.  Sue and I were doing our ground games when I noticed that Lena was trying to herd Sue.  Lena has never done that before.  I yelled at her and she slunk away.

Sue and I were at the furtherest away from home than we ever have been. Lena was right besides us, circulating amoung the great smells.  Lena has never gone on one of our trail rides before.  Well, Sue and I have never been out of our property.  Evidentially, Lena has been waiting a long time for this.  She was having a great time. 

 We have a turf farm to ride on...vast vista of green grass.

Suddenly, Sue tensed up and went tight.  Her rear end bunched up.  I heard a thud and a wimper. That wretched Lena was trying to bite Sue's back legs and Sue let loose an easy kick.  It connected and Lena learned a lesson.

My gentle Lena was trying her best to get me killed!  I do not need a dog biting Sue's rear feet.  Good GAD!

We made it back home.  Sue was in mid right brain after that.  When she increased her speed above a flat foot walk, we turned a little circle. That made her come back into her left brain.  We really didn't have to do this very long.  After a while, Sue was able to walk calmly.

By then, the flies had attacked.  I was starting to breathe flies.  I hate that.  We quit and had a fine ride!

Tuck and Spurt is a new term I came up with tonight to describe something Sue does.

When she gets nervous or fearful, she tenses, her rear end tucks in and she spurts forward.  This isn't a good thing.  It would be a good thing if we were in a starting gate ready to chase down a cow. 

As we are riding along and I ask her to go forward, I might "overask" and she'll tense all up...tuck and spurt.  You might imagine this just destroys the transition that I am asking for.  It makes me frustrated not to be able to ask for a slight increase in speed, but instead I get a tense spurt.  Since she's a gaited horse, she usually goes into a gait that isn't comfy. Gaited horses are supposed to be comfy.

I'm taking on the discovery process of eliminating or reducing the number of tucks and spurts we do on each ride

I discovered that short pattern in what we call point to point helps.  We go from short side to side in an arena.  We speed faster than a walk and stop at the opposite wall.  It took about 8 times before she stopped the tuck and spurt the last time I did it.

I'm trying go forward 5 fast steps, stop and back.  It took about 5 times before she would go forward without the tuck and spurt.

Tonight, I discovered passenger riding.  My passenger riding is trying to keep going faster than a walk and the horse gets to pick where ever she wants to go.  I don't touch the reins.  When Sue breaks down into a walk, I ask her to speed back up.  She gets to turn in little circles if she wants. She gets to go directly into the fence, but when she slows down, I ask her to speed up.  Therefore, going into the fence isn't as enjoyble as going straight.  The goal is to passenger ride for 21 minutes.  I might have made it about 12 minutes the first time.  We were in an outdoor 120X60 arena.

There was no tucking and spurting!  Only one time did she speed up into a pace.  I just let her pace.  I managed to post to the pace.  She quit and went back into an easy gait.

The passenger riding sort of forces me to relax.  My cues to go faster must be a lot less than if I were holding the reins.  It worked.

After a few minutes of passenger riding, I was able to relax my tension.  It was just great. 

I did another passenger ride for 5 minutes.  Sue maintained her gait for longer periods of time.  She also smoothed out the hard trot.

Passenger riding makes the horse braver and increases the rider's confidence!

Twenty one minutes of passenger riding is my goal for the next ride! 

I don't know whether or not you've noticed this, but ususally the title pertains to either Sue or I.  Today, it really is my title.

We were in a nice sized 3 hour clinic this morning at Pine Dell.  There were 9 wonderful horses in the clinic.  Sue is getting better with her claustrophobia right along with my fear termination.

But, we still have a problem going between horses while we are trying to stay at a consistent gait on the wall.  While we are doing that, other horses are standing around, creating squeeze places for us.  Sometimes other horses are coming from the opposite direction on their own path...but it still looks like they are headed straight for us.

Coming around the corner, Sue stopped and protested passing a horse standing too close to the rail (in Sue's opinion).  Plus the horse was facing us...even more difficult for Sue.  There was a nice sized opening, but we failed to squirt thru it.

Jenny said, "You need a strong focus to get Sue thru these spots.  Look where you want her to go."

I decided this meant that I couldn't stare worridly at the offending horse  .  I believe this also meant that couldn't avert my eyes to the upcoming disaster and just look down at Sue's head.

Focus  It's a five letter word.

The next time we came around the corner, the horse was standing in the same place.  I focused strongly on the opposite wall where I wanted Sue to go.  We squirted right thru the opening and around the opposite corner we went!

Focus.  I've forgotten about focus when riding Sue.  Rather, I've been focused on the "stopping things" rather than where we are to go.

Focus

The Horse Show Goal
My goals were:

• to ride from the horse trailer to the arena
• to ride in the show classes, occasionally doing what the judge called for
• to ride out of the arena to the trailer

 We got big huge virtual blue ribbons and met everyone of these goals

I thanked everyone that came, clapped and cheered. I discovered that smiling when people clap is a great way to release tension. I know Sue enjoyed the clapping. Sue knew it was her night. The arena was ours!  We have a nice group of natural horsemanship great friends who came and provided support.

In one class, we got behind Nova.(Nova is also my horse and a member of Sue's herd-ridden by Jennifer Vaught in the class)  Sue tried to put her head in Nova's tail. You know that's not really good for a young horse's first experience in the show ring. I tried to pass. Not an option for Sue...and all this was in front of the judge. Finally the judge called for going reverse and Sue and I managed to get away from Nova. Sue found great comfort in following her herd mates!

After the last Sue class was over, I was mulling around the experience.  It came to me that a chapter has closed and a new one has opened.

For the past 2+ years, I've been concentrating on eliminating fear (in both Sue and I) by building trust and partnership and playing the friendly games constantly in many different levels in many different ways.

That chapter closed last night. Last night I discovered a talented
horse underneath me. Sue's flat foot walk can be incredible. Her fox trot is in a raw stage of being incredible. She's got a huge reach.

I can start following all phases of the levels program now and bring out her talent. The friendly game will still be a big part of this, but I'm free to move on now.

It's a great white light of a door with the beauty of spiritual nature behind the light.  There the shadow of a beautiful bay mare waiting.

Check back in a couple of weeks for the show pictures.

(it is Sunday)

Susan

Show day minus one.  We practiced today.  Jenny rode Nova (one of my horses in training) in the arena with us.  We were pulled by an amazing force of gravity to follow Nova around the arena.

Boy Howdy - It will be great in the show arena.  Nova, Diva (Sue's own daughter) and Velvet ..all of them or at least one of them will be in every show class we enter.

Way cool

I have show blanket.  I have ribbons.  I have a Western shirt for the fox trotter western class.  I have a shirt for the other classes.  I'm bringing several shirts for opinions of the group.  I have a western bridle and a bridle for the other classes.

I'm not catatonic anymore.  I'm thinking that I might have a great time.