a late night
so this was the result of a late night out with kelly and grant... we started out at uncommon grounds, then moved to the perk... it's pretty amusing how we go from being losers to trying to have an intellectual conversation. oh, and for reference, E$=me, klit=kelly, and grant, well, he changed his name a lot... basically anything with a g is his...
E$: I figure that, if we're going to be random losers, we might as well write it in asepereate window... word... I just spelled "seperate" wrong... I need money... Yep... boobs. The end.
gp (i'm abreviating):humainty's obsession with breasts has inspired me to deffer from the popular crowd. so, while others drool, i sit and laugh at the fact that they are unable to look at a female in the eye and have a realistic conversation. i mock them. and, when they realize they are being mocked, i continue to mock them while they lose face. it's always been my dream to be different, even in small ways like this. why? simply because i feel the small things are more important in life. they build up to make something stronger, like five hundred bricks in a wall, rather than one large brick that would shatter upon subtle impact with someone's tire iron.
E$:That is way too deep and intellectual for me, because my brain is in semi-hibernation form the past few weeks when i have been sick. But cool, whatever, I don't have the problem of wondering why a guy is having a conversation with my chest, because I have, as we call them "booblets". I just worry about my abdominal mid-section, which is why i tried going on the diet, but i have seen no results, except for not feeling 100% while I am relying on a diet of salads and water. So i don't know what else i will do, excpet try to stay on an exercise program. I hope to go back to Taekwondo, because when i was involved with that, it was the best physical shape i was in my entire life. yes, I am obsessed with my body right now, but it is because I am not happy with my body, not because OTHER people are unhappy with my body. There is my deepthought for the moment. I could go on, but my paragraph is now longer than Grant's, so ha. and also, BOOBS.
goober pyle: i used to be bulemic.
E$: I used to be anorexic and prone to self-mutilation. but not at the same time. i stillcut myself, but not for...8 months now.
Goober pyle:good. cleaning up blood is not fun, especially if it isn't yours, and you get blamed for the fact that it's spewing from the other persons bodily attatchments. i want a penis reduction.
E$:that was a really random way to end a conversation. interesting, but random nonetheless. I do not want a vagina reduction. i have never made a mess with blood, though. it is just a weird rush. anyways, i do not think that suicide is a stupid thing, for lack of a better word, because I had contemplated suicide before, but I never went thorough with it, or tried it. Which is why it pisses me off when people joke about killing themselves by slitting their wrists, because people who commit suicide want to die; people who self-mutilate just wanna feel better. I actually got into a fight online about that issue,and had to leave, because I cannot stand stupid, narrow-mided people. But yeah... I had a different thought. Oh yeah, I think i still really want to try and make a cd, because I am not happy going to school for what I am going to school for, and singing really makes me happy. SOi have to talk to my dad about that. I wish I could do kareoke in bars. VAGINA.
klit:Contemplating suicide is the death of the soul and if you feel that it is the final decision you are going to make than your life truly had little meaning. In my opinion. But ive never felt myself slipping into that pool so i wouldn't know what the water is like. Maybe Im narrow-minded, but I guess most of my reasoing in life is based on what I know from experiance. So being somone who as never thought "hmm, I wonder if this gun tastes good" the idea of it all is something ridiculious to me.
E$: i never said people who say "suicide is not the answer" are narrow minded, I think the people who think hurting yourself and suicide are the same things are narrow minded cuz they think they are obviously right, even if they have never felt that way. It is like 12:45, we're going to get kicked outta herre soon... I was hungry before and now I don't know if i am... hmmm interesting... I have to go talk to someone about my classes tomorrow and i really don't wanna do that. I hate school. BOO ERNS to school.
goober pyle: "i feel love" in my trousers like no one has ever seen or felt love before.
Klit: So what is this "grapple" you speak of sir? i am curious. I may subscribe to your magazine. :oD heehee. is that cool. I dunno. I think it makes me sound like the cheerleader burried deep inside me somewhere. Maybe its just hte blonde roots pushing through. who knows. Either way I sound like a jack ass who ius just illing space with meaningless letters. I will never understand my own langauge. No matter how many times I take Enligh comp. 1108. or Brit lit. i wont get what all the idiotic randomnicities of AIM mean. I will forever be cluesless. :-) or shall I say :0)
E$: Like a portobello mushroom. When are they going to come out with the video "Pubic Mound of Steel"?? That's whet Margaret Cho wants to know. I think she's fuggin hilarious. I wanna see her in concert... do you call it a concert? whatever, I wanna see her perform live. That makes more sense. Anywho, I would rather see MYSELF perform live,too... we'll see... Kelly went to pee. Haha wow, Grant, you are NOT seal... sorry dude. You are also not black. I hate to insult you like this, but I think you're white. And also... NIPPLE.
goober pyle: sexual.
Klit: Being sexual is not a bad thing. In small measures You don't wanna just wander up to random guiz and be like....hey lets do it. Sex is good. that would be a little random. But asking for numbers and then making out later isnt so bad. Maybe Im just a stupid whore. that may be the reasoning behind my ramblings. Right E$. im a silly-erotic-sometimes-intellectual-white-girl. Oh well. maybe one day I will accomplish something sweet. Like writing a novel. Or producing a movie. Or getting my jumping license. that;s gunna rock. Then I can jump out of perfectly good airplanes for no reason.
And when I die from it, I can say I died in the coolest way possible. And again I am rambling. Next......
g00ber pyl3: boobs, eh? with me it's either titty sex, or no sex. not really, i dont let my penile unit near the boobies% BABY CHICKENS!!!! sex is fun though, it just sucks when you can't get any. *giggle giggle* one day i will be piercing idiotic girls and guys who want to look bad ass for real money, and recording the new david bowie look-a-like. why? cause david bowie is funcolands talkboy. and, when i go home, i will be wrestling my kids and tying them to the ceiling fan, watching them twirl like a monkey on a bad acid trip. it's gonna be a grand ol' time. i'm only one fucked up kid. i was going for like three or four at least, but i'm only at stage one so far. numbers and making out?...aren't they the same thing?
E$: Yeah so I am not really planning my future with children right now. Right now I am just satisfied if I find a good guy, the right guy... Stupid Dustin, i don't even know if he still has a woman, knowing me, he probably does. But I don't know Im not on a vigilantic search to find a boyfriend. If the right guy finds me, sweet... I can't wait to party Thanksgiving weekend, but I am dreading it, because I am so scared of working the day after thanksgiving.. okay food time now
Klit: Numbers and making out usually go hand in hand yet are not the same. Numbers can = making out but usually if you don't have their number before hand you aren't going to get his number AFTER you make out. Maybe thats just me. Tears falling. So why do I want to party so bad? natural instinct maybe. Who knows. Cherries are good. not the nasty kind though. I don't even wanna think about some innocent girl being ripped apart. Ew. Now I dont want these anymore.....no I still do. So Im tired. I want to fall asleep in the booth. Or in my bed. That would also be amazing. Keesh? WTF is keesh. Am I deprived in a way? No, my mother was just lazy. It can neverbe easy raising 5 girls and foster kids to boot. She has the hardest life. She is the best though. I waiting for her to call me right now. She always calls me when I'm out too late. I love her for it. I like that she worries and can't sleep at night when Im not home. My mother is my rock. is that NORMAL. Normal= unknown. I really dont know what that is.
gggg: if you have a hangover, drink grape pedialite for kids. it's good. or some sort of sports beverage (i.e.; powerade, gatorade, etc...). jack and the beanstock is a very influential story. it makes me want to climb massive penis'. 39% left...better make it well worth it, eh? i want making out without the need for numbers and letters. either that, or making out with the same person for some unknown, yet quite long period of time. my mom worries too much and it bothers me. it makes me feel like a small child lost in some huge world. granted, we do live on a large planet, but i don't feel the need to keep people from exploring all those strange places out there. i want to explore italy and australia. and, by "explore" i mean "have gargantuan sex with". there should be an olympic sport where there are two lines of people standing shoulder to shoulder, each line facing the other, then, when the dinger "dings" they run into each other chest first. they will call this sport "titty smashing".
E$: I rarely get hangovers, if i get sick, it's usually that night. Which makes me feel like a douche at the moment, but i feel better the next day, when everyone else is like "ugh... i hate booze!" I think we wanted to party, cuz that is what we tried to plan on doing tonight. I like kissing people. Like, I like that first initial time when you kiss someone, and it gives you the chills. I like my parents, because they are cool with me partying and going out, and we get along for the most part. But when we fight, it's big fights. Kelly can attest to this. When we fight, I always leave the house for at least 3 hours, because I just do not want to yell with them. But the one thing, is, I am pretty sure they know that I am not a virgin, or at least have an idea; because I wouldn't expect me to still be one if I were my parents, if that makes any sense. I just don't really wanna tell them, but i know i should. Cuz my parents have said that it's fine as long as I talk to them so my mom can get me birth control (lovely topic, huh Grant??), but still, that's not a convo you want to have in your lifetime. But oh well, c'est la vie. I wanna go playon my computer at home some more... haha
Klit: My mom knows. She just doesnt care. She thinks im a slut. Thats what happens. I like cameras. i want to go shoot 14,583,486,358 rolls of black and white film of nothing. I have to ring some poor soul into trecking along with me. I wish I could watch myself from above. see my body just living each day. that would rock. I need to kiss someone sooner than later. Im begining to feel that excitment leave me. I want to kiss someone I've thought about kissing. Does that make sense? I dont have a person in mind, I just want to fall for someone, and anticipate the moment before it happens. i havent done that in months. Possibly longer. years per say? I think I was 12. I love driving. I love Beyerly's I love coffee and driving into some random city and waving at the old men in their trucks. Poor people need money too. yep.
gersey gurl: know what sucks? it sucks when you're sitting around at some place and you see these girl you want to talk to, but when you finally get up the nerve to say hi, some guy comes and starts talkking to you. not only that, but he starts hitting on you. not ONLY that, but you aren't gay. and, not ONLY that, but more gay guys hit on you than girls. let me tell you, it's awesome! (i'm holding up my "sarcastic" sign.) the girl who's holding her cigarette three feet into the air, the one wearing a scarf, she seems like a typical mindless drone. what does cum taste like? (i don't want an answer...i just wanted to make you laugh. *giggle giggle*) i have my dude tongue pierced THREE! times >> name this song for 53 points "you make me come. you make me complete. you make me completely miserable."
E$: Know what sucks? Sitting next to someone and knowing you can't have them. Yep, that definately sucks. I don't have any one person in mind, I'm just saying that it's happened to me before, and I wanted to cry. I like to cry, is that normal? I don't like feeling like crap, but i like the movies and tv shows that make you cry. Like, when "Friends" is over, I am going to bawl my eyes out. I know I'm a loser, but that's ok. I don't think I will ever ask another guy out in awhile, because of what happened with Eric and Ryan. Kelly knows what I'm talking about, but yeah. I really don't wanna go to school anymore. I think I wanna just work for awhile, get my money back, then go to school for something like criminal psychology. I love psychology, and would love to apply it to something in the law enforcement field. I don't know. I kind of feel like everyone else seems to know what they want to do, or at least have some sort of an idea, but I am completely clueless. The only thing I really, really REALLY want to do, is become a singer. I mean, a professional singer. And I really should do something about it, but I feel like I am starting way late, in comparison to other people. Yeah I have taken voice lessons and stuff, but I really haven't done anything to get yself out there... I dunno, but I do know that we're been in Perkins for awhile now. Fo sho.
klit: A blank mind is the worst kind. I hate not having something to babble about FUCK I CANT FUCK! TYPE. oh the irony in life. I wanna sleep. With myself. Maybe my cat. Not that way though. Thats kinda gross. Im fuct up. yes fuct. Grant is a stud. A fucking stud. More like a nail. ha. ha. not funny at all. SHIT. Cursing is creative. Lacking vocabulary is always a depressing moment. Why oh why must I sit here and use the same words over and over again. I should get a pocket thesuarus so I can always use neat words. neat. hehe. okay. Im gay. Not in a homosexual way, just in a.....IM kind of a dork way. which way should I go? um.........left. cause right is never correct. eh? good thing im from Minnesota or that wouldn't have made any sense at all. Moving on. Im yep. thats all. Just tired. and blank. Like a book that has no lettering. Or is writeten on white paper with white ink. I should do a journal like that. SO onl I know what i was thinking.
rag3for3v3r@yahoo.com
gapples and grackers: i made a life out of what my parents gave me. though they were there for me all the way, i still don't want to give them credit for who i am today. but, i can say that i hope to be everything my dad is NOT. i want to give my children freedom and honesty that my parents kept from me. i want to show them the world, and that there is more to life than just making an "american living", there is more than the constantly updated technology, more than how many girls/guys you can sleep with, more than what even i know. there are people out there who don't even know that a lightbulb exists, let alone plumbing, sky scrapers, bentley's, rolex, marlboro, 3M, bombs to drop on whoever you wish so long as you have the button, abercrombie, bling bling. when will our society realize that we are taking advantage of the fact that we are always growing, but that we are not looking at what it is that we are growing from?
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