"Do Not Ask For Love"

Do Not Ask For Love

Part One

Mike looked around the Pad. The guys had left it a total mess. Davy's little black books were all over the floor. Just for the fun of it, Mike began to pick one up and leaf through it, just to see how many girls were on his dating list. Then, Davy walked into the room.

"Ello, Mike," he said. "What are you doing with me little black book?"

"Just lookin'," Mike replied. "How many chicks are actually on your datin' list?"

"Two million," Davy said. "But who's counting? By the way, I've set you up on a blind date tonight."

"What? You what?!"

Mike was furious. Never in his life had he been on a blind date. He didn't know what to expect.

And furthermore, Davy knew better than to set Mike up.

"Why on earth would ya do that?" he asked.

"Well, me date for tonight, Allison, you see, a friend of 'ers is coming for a visit," Davy said. "And Allison won't go on a date tonight unless I found a date for 'er friend."

"Do you know a thing about Allison's friend?"

"Well, she's smashing."

"You saw her?"

"Yeah. Anyway, she's got brown hair, brown eyes, a nice smile, she loves animals, music, and she's really shy."

"I see. Why don't you get Micky or Peter to date her?"

"I asked. They said you needed a date."

"All right. I'll do it."

"Great! I'll call Allison and tell 'er the good news!"

Mike groaned. That night, Micky and Peter started to get Mike ready for his date. Micky pulled out some cologne.

"This stuff won't make me pass out, will it?" Mike asked.

"Nah, this is good stuff," Micky said. He sprayed Mike with it.

"Where are you going?" Peter asked, pulling shirt after shirt after Mike's closet.

"We're goin' to that pizza place downtown," Mike said. "And then we're gonna see a movie."

"Oh," Peter said. "Wear this."

Peter threw Mike his eight button red shirt, gray pants, black boots, and the wool hat. Mike waited until Micky and Peter left the room until he changed his clothes. Then, there was a knock on the door.

"That's them," Mike said. "Here goes nothin'."

Mike and Davy straightened themselves out before they opened the door. In the doorway there were two girls, Davy and Mike's dates for the evening.

"Hi, Davy," Allison said. "This is my friend from Maryland, Erin."

Erin gave a shy little wave. Mike just stared at her.

Davy took Allison's arm and led her to the car. Mike and Erin continued to look at one another.

"'Ey we're going to be going anytime soon" yelled Davy from the car. Mike took Erin by the arm and led her to the car.

They arrived at the pizza place and sat down. Davy and Allison just went into there own little world and started making out. Mike looked at them, jealous of what they had and the other have 'can't they take it somewhere else.' His eyes moved so they looked at Erin.

"What a night huh?" Mike said and Erin nodded. Mike looked around the room for something to do and found it was Karaokie night. Without a word Mike stood up and walked to the mike. "Can I have Brown eyed Girl?"

The man nodded and turned on the song. Mike gulped as the first words to the song popped on the little TV screen.

"What's 'e doing?" Davy asked. Allison shrugged.

Mike gulped once more and watched the screen. He looked at Erin. She had a shy smile on her face as she ate a slice of pepperoni pizza. After awhile, he finally found his voice and started singing "Brown Eyed Girl". Once he was done, everyone clapped and cheered. Mike walked back down to the table.

"That was good, Mike," Davy said.

"I didn't know you could sing like that," Allison said. "What did you think, Erin?"

Erin shrugged.

"I liked Van Morrison's version better," she said, softly. "But, Mike's was good."

"Well, that's something," Mike said, shrugging. "At least she's talkin' to me."

Erin slurped her Coke in silence. Mike tried to say something.

"So, you're from Maryland, huh?" he asked. "What part?"

"Germantown," Erin said. "But I want to live here."

"That's cool. Warm weather all year round."

Erin nodded and ate some pizza. Mike glanced at Davy. He was whispering something to Allison that made her giggle. Mike turned to the pizza. He picked up a piece of pepperoni and took a bite out of it. He looked at Erin and smiled. Erin smiled back.

"Can we go back to your pad now?" she asked.

Mike choked on the pizza. Davy had to whack him on the back several times.

"This is to 'elp 'im swallow or spit it out," he explained. Mike let out a strangled gasp as a piece of pizza flew out of his mouth and landed on the table.

"Ew, gross," Erin said.

"Sorry," Mike said. He cleared his throat. "You want to go back to the pad? Why?"

"I just want to, okay?" Erin said. "I don't want to see the stupid movie."

"All right," Mike said. "I'll take you to the pad. Davy and Allison can continue their date."

Mike led Erin outside to the car. Davy ran out after them.

"'Ey, can't you take a cab or something?" he asked. "I need the car."

Mike groaned. He glared at Davy. Davy gave Mike some money for cab fair and walked back into the restaurant. Mike groaned.

"Davy, get back here!" he yelled.

"What?" Davy asked.

"You take the cab. I'm takin' the car. Capeesh?"

"What does capeesh mean?"

"It means understand. It's Italian. Micky taught it to me."

"Oh. Okay, I capeesh. You take the Monkee Mobile and I'll walk 'ome under the stahs. Romantic, isn't it?"

Mike nodded. He and Erin got into the car and drove off. Mike took the opportunity of the first red light they hit to talk.

"Why'd you want to leave early?" Mike asked. "Want to do somethin' else other than eat pizza and see a groovy movie I've seen thirteen times?"

Erin folded her arms across her chest and remained silent. Mike sighed.

"Well," he said as the light turned green. "What? Why are you givin' me the cold treatment? If it's about the song, I'm sorry. I was just tryin' to break the ice. If it was somethin' I said or did . . ."

"It's not that, Mike," Erin said.

"Wait, I got it. It's my cologne, isn't it? That's it. Every girl I go out with hates my cologne. Man, I told Micky I shouldn't have worn it."

"No, it's not your cologne. And it isn't about you jealous of Davy and Allison, either."

"You could tell?"

"I think everybody could. You're face tells what you're thinking."

"You read faces?"


"Oh, kind of like a palm reader, huh?"

Erin rolled her eyes and groaned. A comedian. She was in a car with a Texas comedian, one she didn't even know. Mike pulled into the Pad and got out of the car.

"So," he said. "Where are you stayin'?"

Erin rolled her eyes and walked for the door. Mike groaned and followed. This night wasn't what he expected. He sighed and opened the door. Micky and Peter were putting together a jigsaw puzzle, waiting for Davy and Mike to get home.

"Hey," Micky said. "How was the date?"

"Lousy," Mike whispered. "She won't even talk to me."

"Maybe it's the hat, Mike," Peter whispered back. "People may think you're hiding something."

"By the way," Micky asked, "where's Davy?"

"Still with Allison," Mike said. "I don't get why chicks don't dig me."

Mike took off his hat and straightened out his hair. Then, he walked over to the couch where Erin was sitting and sat down.

"Look," he said, "if we're not goin' to do anythin' else tonight, why don't I just take you home?"

"Fine," Erin said. "Let's go."

Mike glanced at Peter and Micky. They shrugged. Mike and Erin walked down to the Monkee Mobile and drove off. Erin said she was staying at Allison's. Mike knew where that was. To his surprise, the lights were on. Mike walked Erin to the door and walked inside. Davy and Allison were sitting on the couch kissing.

"Okay, break it up," Mike said.

"Oh, 'ello, Mike," Davy said. "What ah you doing 'ere?"

"Dropping my 'date' off," Mike said. "Come on, Davy. Let's split."

"Okay, sure," Davy said. He turned to Allison. "Bye, luv. See you latah."

"Much later," Mike said. He and Davy hopped in the Monkee Mobile and drove back to the Pad. Peter and Micky were still working on the jigsaw puzzle.

"How was it?" Micky asked.

"Great," Davy said at the same time Mike said "lousy" again.

"I doubt she'll call," Mike said. He stretched. "I'm goin' to bed. I'm beat."

"Translation," Davy said, "'e's gonna flop down on 'is bed and try to suffocate 'imself."

Mike started to chase Davy around the Pad. He normally wouldn't do this, but Davy was making him mad. Davy ran off onto the balcony and down the stairs. Mike followed. They were running and shrieking so loudly, their landlord, Mr. Babbit, had to throw his shoes at them and yell at them.

"Hey you guys!" he shouted. "Shut up out there!!"

"Sorry, Mr.Babbit," Mike and Davy said in unison.

Mike and Davy finally went back inside. Mike stayed in his room (or the one he shares with Micky) for the rest of the night. Davy stayed in his (or the one he shares with Peter). Micky and Peter figured Mike needed to blow off some steam, so they stayed downstairs until eleven thirty. By that time, Mike was out like a light, not to be disturbed by anything except a sonic boom, World War Three, a jack hammer, a really big thunder storm, an earthquake, or his alarm clock, whichever came first. Mike got up late the next morning. He sat down at the table and stared at a plate of cold eggs drenched in what looked like root beer.

"What is with Pete and root beer?" he asked. Micky shrugged.

"What's the meal this time, Mick?" Davy asked.

"Pete calls it his eggs a la root beer," Micky said.

Davy nodded. Mike checked the doorway, in case Peter was coming. He wasn't. Mike stood up, picked up his plate, and walked to the window. He opened it and hurled the eggs a la root beer out the window. Then, he heard Peter coming and ran back to his chair. Micky and Davy threw their eggs out the window, too, and ran to the table.

"What did you think of my breakfast?" Peter asked.

"It's like nothing I evah ate, Petah," Davy said.

"Better than your cream of root beer soup," Micky said.

"Just do me one favor, Pete," Mike said. "Get out of this root beer phase."

Peter nodded. As the day went on, the phone rang. All four Monkees dived for it. Mike ended up picking it up.

"Hello?" he asked. "Oh. Just a sec. Here, Pete, it's some chick."

"Wow, a girl's calling me!" Peter said. He took the phone away from Mike. "Hello? Oh, hello! Yeah, he said it was pretty lousy. Well, I don't know. I have to check. Guys, are we busy tonight?"

"No," Mike, Micky, and Davy said in unison.

"I'm not busy," Peter continued. "Sure. Tonight at seven sounds great. Okay. I'll see you then. Bye-bye."

"So," Mike said. "Who was it? A chick who dumped Davy or Micky?"

"Or you," Peter said. "Erin asked me out on a date. You don't mind, do you, Mike?"

"Me? Mind?" Mike asked. "No! Of course not! You go on ahead! Go on your date with that girl who . . . who doesn't like a thing I do. Go . . . go on. Have fun."

Peter smiled. Mike just kept smiling and nodding when Peter told the others about his plans. However, inside, he fumed. At six thirty, he was off.

"I'll be back soon," he said. "Bye!"

"Bye, Pete," Mike said, through gritted teeth. He was gnashing his teeth together. He didn't want to seem angry in front of Davy and Micky, but it didn't work too well.

"Ah you mad at Petah, Mike?" Davy asked.

"No!" Mike said, defensively. "I'm just wonderin' why the heck Erin doesn't like me and what she sees in a bubble head like Peter!"

Micky gasped. Never in Mike's life had he called Peter a bubble head. He must have been mad. Mike stormed up to his and Micky's room and slammed the door.

"He's mad," Davy and Micky said in unison.

Two hours later, Peter returned. Mike was still holed up in his and Micky's room.

"'Ow was your date, Petah?" Davy asked.

"It was great!" Peter said. "We went to the amusement park. There was a carousel and three roller coasters, bumper cars, and even a tunnel of love!"

"Oh that's all Mike needs to hear," Micky said. "He's a little mad."

"Why?" Peter asked.

"'E's wondering why Erin likes you and not 'im," Davy said.

"Well," Peter said, "Erin did talk about Mike all night. Maybe she likes him and things got off to a wrong start. She said she wants to see Mike again."

"That's good," Micky said.

"Or is it?" Davy replied.

Peter went upstairs and told Mike about his date. He fumed a little when Peter told him about the rides at the park, especially the tunnel of love.

"We didn't go on it, though," Peter said. Mike nodded.

"Really," he asked, not really interested. "What else? I'd like to get some sleep, if you don't mind."

"Oh yeah, sure," Peter said. "Anyway, all Erin did was talk about you."

"Really?" Mike said, getting interested. "What'd she say?"

"She said she wanted to see you again," Peter said.


"She said tomorrow night, if it's possible."

"Tomorrow's good. All right! Great! Thanks, Pete!"

The next night, Erin met Mike at the Pad. They went off on another date. Things went much better than they did two nights ago.

"So how do you like California?" Mike asked.

"I like the warm weather," Erin said. "But I miss the snow."

Mike nodded. He didn't know what to say from that. Texas was a warm state, but there weren't too many snow storms, at least not in southern Texas, so he really couldn't give an opinion. The two of them decided to get something to eat and then play the rest of the night by ear. They went to a local burger joint, got some burgers and fries, and split a chocolate milkshake.

"You sure you want to split a milkshake?" Mike asked, as he plucked two straws out of the condiment stand. "Usually I get slapped whenever I suggest we share a milkshake."

"Peter and I did it last night," Erin said. "I think it's romantic."

"I see."

Mike sighed and placed his straw in the milkshake. He started to slurp on it. They ate in total silence. Then, they went back to the Pad. They sat out on the balcony for a little while and talked.

"Nice night," he said.

"I guess," Erin said. "I need to tell you something Mike."

"Oh. Okay, sure. Go ahead."

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"And when you think you're in love, you can't stop thinking about that person?"

Wow, she's readin' my mind, Mike thought. She must know I'm crazy about her and she must be crazy about me, too. Why else would she be tellin' me all this?


"Anyway, I'm having that feeling. It's with someone you know really well."

"Oh? Wow, that's interestin'."

"I feel that way about Peter."

"Oh, that's wonderful, that's great, that's . . ." Mike then realized the name Erin said. "Peter?!"