"Do Not Ask For Love" Part Two

Do Not Ask For Love

Part Two

"Yeah," Erin said. "Peter."

"Oh. Peter."

Mike kept nodding. Then, he walked inside with a blank stare across his face. Davy and Micky stared at him.

"You okay, Mike?" Micky asked. Mike nodded. Peter walked by just then.

"Hi, Mike," he said.

"Shut up!" Mike yelled. Then, he stormed off. Peter started to cry.

"All I said was 'hi, Mike'!" he cried.

"Something tells me his date didn't go as planned," Micky said. "I'll go talk to him."

Micky walked upstairs to the bedroom while Davy comforted Peter. He opened the door and was met by Mike hurling his alarm clock at the door. Micky shut the door before the clock hit him in the face.

"Okay, you're mad," he said. "What's wrong?"

"Who do you think you are, my mother?" Mike asked, jumping down on his bed. He yanked off one of his boots and threw it across the room.

"I just want to know," Micky continued. "Why'd you tell Peter to shut up when all he said to you was 'hi, Mike'?"

"Because he stole my girlfriend."

"You mean Erin? Mike, she never was your girlfriend. She doesn't even like you! Peter told us but he didn't tell you."

"She doesn't like me?"

"No. I'm sorry you just found out, but she doesn't like you."

"Well, that's no surprise. But why doesn't she like me?"

"She said you're not cute like Davy, not funny like me, and not sensitive like Peter. She doesn't know how to place you."


Micky shrugged. Mike yanked off his other boot and threw it across the room. He took his wool hat off and threw that across the room as well. He was in a bad mood and he felt like throwing things around. He waited until Micky left. Then, he started throwing his stuff. The feeling didn't pass until he threw a desk lamp at the mirror. Both broke and brought Davy, Micky, and Peter up to the bedroom.

"Wow, what a mess," Davy said. "I'd hate to see Babbit's face when 'e sees this."

"Mike, are you sure you're not mad at me?" Peter asked.

"No," Mike said. "I'm sure I'm mad at you! Why didn't you tell me before she didn't like me?! Why did you have to wait?! Why doesn't anyone tell me anything?!"

"Would it help if I said I'm sorry?" Peter asked, timidly.

"Sorry? You're sorry?" Mike asked. "No, it won't help!"

"What will?"

"If I can tear you limb from limb!"

Mike lunged toward Peter. Both Micky and Davy grabbed him before he got to the shy Monkee. Mike struggled a little but gave up.

"Calm down," Davy said.

"Down boy, easy, easy!" Micky shouted. Mike caught his breath.

"Let's clean up this mess," Davy said. "We'll replace that mirror latah."

The Monkees got to work cleaning up Mike and Micky's bedroom. Mike stayed as far away from Peter as he could get. The next day, Mike found Peter in the kitchen packing sandwiches and potato chips in a basket.

"What are you doin', Pete?" he asked.

"I'm going out," Peter said. "It's a nice day. Erin's coming over and we're going to go on a picnic on the beach."


Mike walked toward the basket. He looked at it for a little while and then saw the box of Corn Flakes sitting right behind it.

Hmm, suddenly, I've got a cravin' for Corn Flakes, he thought. He got a sneaky smile on his face and reached for the Corn Flakes. As he was pulling it off the table, he knocked into the picnic basket. It flew to the floor. Peter saw.

"Mike," he said. "You do realize you knocked over my basket?"

"Oops," Mike said, sarcastically. "Sorry, Pete."

Mike walked over to the basket and kicked it "accidentally". It skidded out the door and down the balcony steps. The sandwiches spilled across the beach. Peter and Erin couldn't eat them because now they were covered in sand. Furthermore, the seagulls made a dive bomb for them. The food was gone in a matter of minutes.

"Aw, what a drag," Mike said, sarcastically. "Sorry."

"I think you did that on purpose," Peter said.

Mike smirked and snickered. He walked over to the ice box and pulled out the milk to put on his Corn Flakes. Then, he would stir his cereal until it became soggy.

"Mike!" Peter shouted. "Did you hear me? You did that on purpose!"

"Did what?" Mike asked. "Oh. Oh! Yeah, now I know what you mean. And I'm shocked you would ever think that! Besides, it was an accident."

Peter pouted for a little. Then, he saw Mike's sneaky smile while he stirred his cereal and knew Mike kicked the basket out onto the beach on purpose. Peter then made a move that he would never do to anyone. He picked up the milk drenched Corn Flakes and dumped it on Mike's head. Soggy cereal and milk dripped down the Texan's face.

"Now I'm mad," Mike said, taking the bowl off his head.

Mike went over to the ice box and pulled out one of Micky's cream pies (Micky was going through cream pie cravings and whenever any Monkee would go shopping they would buy a couple of pies). Mike walked up to Peter, pie in hand and flung it in his face. Peter wiped off his face and licked his hands.

"Thanks," Peter said.

"Don't mention it," Mike said. He walked over to the sink and leaned under the faucet to wash the milk and Corn Flakes out of his hair.

Peter walked over to the towel rack for a washcloth to wipe the pie off his face. Mike saw this and stuck his foot out. Peter tripped on it. He turned to look at Mike, but he was "innocently" rinsing out his hair. Peter growled and reached for a towel. Davy and Micky walked in for their breakfast and saw a little of Mike's milky hair and Peter with whipped cream on his face.

"Rats!" Micky shouted. "We missed another food fight!"

"What 'appened?" Davy asked.

"Don't ask," Mike said. "Just hand me a towel."

Micky shrugged and threw a towel to Mike. Then, someone knocked on the door.

"That's probably Allison," Davy said. "She, Erin, Petah, and I are going for a picnic on the beach."

"Yeah, on the beach is right," Peter said. "Mike knocked the basket out side and the birds ate the food."

"Mi-ike!" Davy whined. "What'd you go and do that for?"

Mike didn't answer. He just rubbed his hair with the towel. He was going to rub his hair until his scalp hurt. It worked. As Allison and Erin walked into the Pad (they had brought food just in case Peter was bringing cream of root beer soup), they saw Mike sitting on the couch, rubbing his head.

"What's the matter?" Allison asked. "Headache?"

"No," Mike said, sourly. "I got out of the shower and rubbed my hair too hard with a towel."

The girls nodded. Peter came out of his room.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"Yep," Erin said. "Let's go."

"Don't let the door hit ya on the way out, Peter!" Mike shouted.

Peter ignored Mike's remark. Davy threw him a Look. Then, they left with the two girls. They returned two hours later. Davy and Peter walked inside. Mike was waiting for him.

"How was the date?" he asked.

"Not bad," Peter said.

"Pretty good, actually," Davy said. "All four of us ah going out tonight."

Mike nodded and walked off. That night, Davy and Peter walked out of their bedroom, ready for a date. Mike growled.

"Well?" Peter asked. "Do I look all right?"

"Who cares?" Mike asked.

"You look great, Petah," Davy said.

Mike stood up and walked up face to face to Peter. Micky came downstairs to see Davy and Peter off, but ended up watching Peter and Mike have a little stand off.

"Do you know what would complete that outfit?" Mike asked.

"What?" Peter asked. Mike gave Peter a hard shove.

"A black eye!" he shouted. Peter shoved Mike right back.

"And a fat lip for you to go with that fat head!" he shouted. Davy and Micky gasped.

"All right, Tork," Mike said. "This means war."

Mike and Peter jumped on each other and started a fight. Davy and Micky ran to them to keep them apart. Davy grabbed Peter and Micky grabbed Mike.

"Hey, guys, that's enough!" Micky shouted. "Cool it, Mike! Cool it!"

"Petah, stop it!" Davy shouted. "Let 'im go!"

Peter and Mike didn't listen. They just tried to tear each other apart. No one noticed when the girls walked inside.

"What's going on in here?" Allison asked.

"Off hand," Erin said, "I'd say Peter and Mike are fighting."

Allison and Erin ran for the boys.

"Would someone tell us what's going on?" Erin said.

"They're fighting over you," Davy said. "Mike found out a little too late that you didn't like 'im."

"Oh no," Erin said. "Guys! Guys, stop it!"

Allison had to help Micky pull Mike away from Peter, as did Erin helped Davy pull Peter away from Mike. They were successful. However, Peter did come out with a black eye and a bloody nose. Mike ended up with a bruised cheek and a split lip. Basically, there was blood. Erin began to feel queasy.

"Ding!" Micky shouted. Then, in an announcers voice, he said, "Fighters return to your corners!"

Davy led Peter to one end of the room while Mike stormed to the other end. The girls stood, bewildered. Davy walked into the kitchen for some ice. Micky had to hold Mike down before he ran to Peter and gave him a good clobbering. Davy returned with ice cubes wrapped in two clothes. He handed on to Micky and kept the other one. Micky gave it to Mike. Mike put the ice on his lip and then stormed upstairs. Peter watched him go as he held the cloth to his nose. After a little while, Davy, Allison, Peter, and Erin went out on their date. Ten minutes after they left, Mike walked down stairs.

"You really did it this time," Micky said.

"I know," Mike said. "I'll be out on the balcony. I need some air."

Micky watched. Mike was leaning on the balcony railing, staring down at the beach. He was still there when Davy and Peter returned. Erin was with them.

"Is Mike still on the war path?" Davy asked.

"No," Micky said. "He's cooled off a little. He's out on the balcony, staring at the ocean."

"I'm going to bed," Davy said. He left. Micky left. Peter sighed. It was time to end all the arguments going on between himself and Mike.

"Erin," he said. "We need to talk."

"Sure," Erin said. "What about?"

"Listen, you saw the way Mike acted this evening."

"I know. He's jealous again."

"Only because he really likes you. He's crazy about you."

"But Peter, I'm crazy over you! I've never met anyone like you!"

"I know. But Mike is a great guy underneath his hard exterior."

"Peter, the man is a complete stiff."

"Not really. He cries sometimes."


"No, really! He did once! Look, he may not be as cute as Davy, as funny as Micky, and as sensitive as me, but he's really a great guy."

"I don't know, Peter."

"Look, just give him a chance. He's a real great guy. He's a lot more sensitive than he looks."

"That's a little hard to believe, Peter."

"No, really. His a lot more sensitive to people who's parents are divorced."


"His parents are divorced. They've been divorced since Mike was three. He told us."

"Three years old? Wow, I didn't know."

"Just go talk to him. He'll be happy about it. I know."

Erin looked out the window. Mike was standing on the balcony, looking out at the ocean. Erin looked outside and sighed.

"Okay," she said. "I'll talk to him."

Peter smiled. Erin walked outside onto the balcony.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," Mike said.

"Nice night, huh?"

"I guess."

The two of them grew silent. Erin bit her lower lip. Mike just stared at the ocean.

"Mike," Erin finally said.

"Yes?" Mike asked.

"Um, I know you may not be cute like Davy, funny like Micky, or sensitive like Peter."

"I know."

"I was wondering if we could go out sometime."

"I really appreciate the gesture, but I'd rather not."

"Why not?"

"I don't . . . I don't know. Wouldn't you rather go out with Peter?"

Mike wasn't making any eye contact. He just stared out at the ocean and around the beach. Erin sighed.

"Yeah," she said. "No. I mean . . ."

"What'd I tell you?" Mike said. He was looking down at his hands, now.

"Mike, come on," Erin said. "I mean, Davy may be the cute one, Micky may be the funny one, Peter may be the sensitive one, but you are something more than that."

"What am I? The one with the wool hat?"

"No. You're the smart one. And the talented one."

"Well, so are the others."

Mike looked up at the sky. He refused to look at Erin. He wasn't making it easy for her.

"Mike," she said. "I don't want to take all night. I just want to say that I think you're a great guy. Really. Probably underneath that rock hard shell of yours, there's a sensitive soul who's just waiting for the right girl to come along."

"I bet Peter told you that," Mike said.

"No. He told me your parents are divorced. I'm sorry."

Mike looked up and at Erin. He was a bit speechless.

"I . . . well, uh," he said. "Well, it doesn't matter."

"He said you were only three years old," Erin continued. She rested her hand on his. "He said you really opened up to people who are victims of divorce."

"Yeah, well."

"I just think maybe we can go out and start this relationship over."

Mike looked away and sighed. Somehow he felt she was only doing this as a favor to Peter.

"Are you doin' this for Peter?" he asked.

"Well, he told me to talk to you," Erin admitted.

"Thought so. Well, I appreciate it and all, but I think you'd be better off with Peter."

Things got quiet once again. Mike began to twiddle his thumbs. Erin broke the silence.

"Mike," she said. "I know this may seem like a touchy subject, but why aren't women attracted to you?"

"I'd like to know that one myself," Mike said. "I don't really know why. I guess they don't think I'm cute, funny, or sensitive. That's what they all see in Davy, Micky, and Peter. That or my accent. Whatever comes first."

"I think you're cute and funny."

"Thanks. But it doesn't matter, I guess. You're crazy for Peter, Peter likes you. I just want to tell you, while you're here, you've been stuck in my mind since our first date."


"Yeah. I haven't been able to stop thinkin' about you and when I heard you were in love with Peter, that kind of, I don't know, wrecked me, I guess."


"I mean, now I think I can understand why you like Peter better than me. I mean, he's better lookin', he's got a way with women, he's . . ."

Mike rambled until Erin leaned up and kissed his cheek. Then, Mike stopped, looked at Erin, and laughed.

"What was that for?" he asked, smiling a little.

"I don't know," Erin said. "Because you look like the kind of guy who rarely gets kissed."

"Oh. Well, you're right. The last kiss I received was from a woman named Miss Buntwell. That was about a month ago."

Things got silent again. Finally, Davy, Micky, and Peter couldn't stand the silence any longer.


Mike jumped. He turned around and glared at the other three.

"Do you mind?" he asked. "I'd like to have a talk with the girl in private if it's all right with you!"

Erin giggled. She looked at Mike and smiled. Mike smiled back.

"I appreciate the whole thing," he said. "But you're better of with Peter."

"Aw come on, Mike," Erin said. "Look, Allison and Davy are going out again tomorrow. They asked if Peter and I wanted to come. Do you want to come in Peter's place?"

"Sure," Mike said.

The next night, Mike, Erin, Davy, and Allison went to the amusement park that was outside town. Mike was determined to make Erin like him once and for all. He wasn't going to try anything stupid, like make a move. He'd just comment about certain things. As the night came, Davy suggested the four of them go in the Tunnel of Love.

"Uh, no thanks," Mike said. "I'm not the mushy type of person."

"Neither am I," Erin said.

"Aw, c'mon!" Davy shouted. He and Allison dragged Erin and Mike into the boat and let them ride through the tunnel.

"We'll be right behind you!" Davy called as the boat went into the tunnel.

"I don't know how he does it," Mike said. "But he does it."

Mike and Erin rode in total silence. The tunnel began to get dark. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant monster appeared. Erin screamed and jumped on Mike. Mike was a little surprised. He put his arm around Erin, since she already had both her arms around his neck.

"Don't worry," he said. "It's just a little ol' monster. I thought this was the Tunnel of Love. Not the haunted house."

Erin giggled. Mike half expected her to unwrap her arms, but she didn't. So, Mike left his arm around her shoulders. Things got quiet again. There were more romantic scenes in the tunnel.

"I really don't like this mushy stuff," Mike said.

"But do you like this?" Erin asked. Before Mike could ask what Erin meant, she leaned up and kissed him on the lips.

"I, uh," he stammered. "I, gee, that was . . . uh. . ."

Erin smiled. Mike smiled back. The two of them kissed again. They were still kissing when the ride ended. Davy and Allison were a bit surprised.

"It's usually me who gets caught in a lip lock," Davy said. "All right you two love birds, break it up! Come up for air!"

Mike let go. He blushed a little. He wanted to make a fast get away, but it was too late. The thrills were over. It was time to head back to the Pad. Once at the Pad, Mike and Erin walked out to the balcony. The two of them kissed again. Davy watched. Mike didn't notice. Once the two were done, Erin began talking.

"So, see you tomorrow for roller skating, Mike?" she asked.

"Yeah," Mike said. "Sure. You're gonna have to teach me some moves. I haven't been on roller skates since 1952."

Erin laughed. Mike kissed her cheek before she left. The two of them waved to each other as Erin walked off the beach, on her way home. Mike walked inside. The other three were waiting for him.

"Is it the beginning of a beautiful friendship, Mike?" Peter asked.

"Sure is, Pete," Mike said, smiling. "Sure is."

The End