Chapter 7: Island Night, Camp Snowflake, and Ghost Bears
EAST SIDE
Ken: All right, tribe, it’s bonfire time! Let’s get you guys on kindling duty, you guys on logs, and –
TK: Hey Ken, guess what? Under your leadership skills, we LOST the first challenge. So, we have elected Martin as the new head of the tribe. Right guys?
All: Right!
Ken: How dare you! I made this tribe! This is mutiny, I say!
TK: Yup, that’s the general idea. So Ken, let’s have you sit down over there and leave us alone, OK?
Ken: But…Izzy! Don’t YOU want to be the new tribe leader? Don’t you care that you were ignored?
Izzy: Hardly. Martin is a much better rival than you. When I tell him I’m the smartest, he just shrugs and says “OK.”
Ken: I won’t let you do this! (He tries to run past them and falls into a large, grass-covered hole) WHO DUG THIS HOLE? (Kari and Cody giggle)
Izzy: Ken, you just sit tight for a while.
Ken: When did you have time to dig a hole? You’re supposed to be building a fire or you’ll lose the challenge.
Kari: Hey, he’s right. And what happens when we lose?
All: WE VOTE SOMEONE OFF!
WEST SIDE
Sora: OK, how’s the wood collection coming?
Mimi: Honestly! What is your obsession with wood? Aren’t you worried about hurting plants?
Tai: *groans* We have…a 4-foot…pile…*falls over*
Sora: Well, I guess that’s a good start. Now, who has a magnifying glass?
Matt: *stares* Do you really think we carry these things around? If anything, there might be one in Tai’s hair.
Sora: Well, yuck, I’m not looking in there.
Tai: Nope, I don’t have a magnifying glass. But hey, maybe we could use goggles instead. Davis! Gimme my goggles.
Davis: No way, you are not burning them.
Tai: I’m not going to burn them, I just…
Davis: Neener, neener, you’ll have to catch me! (Tai chases Davis into the woods)
Matt: There go 2 of the biggest idiots ever born. Well, now what are we going to do?
Jun: Hug! *squeezes Matt*
Matt: IL said we couldn’t burn anyone. Does singeing count?
Joe: Hey guys, I have an –
(Matt and Sora jerk their heads up)
Matt: Joe wears glasses.
Sora: Yes.
Matt: Get him!
Joe: AHHH! (Before he can run, Matt and Sora beat him up and take the glasses) I would have GIVEN them to you if you’d just asked.
(Sora tries to focus the sun on a pile of kindling)
Sora: Why isn’t this working??
Matt: Well, now that you mention it, it is kind of cloudy… (the sky has turned black)
Sora: I refuse to believe this won’t work.
Jun: Let’s try rubbing two sticks together.
Matt: *starts to agree, then realizes who said it* Let’s not.
Sora: Shut up Matt. Let’s try Jun’s way. (After about 2 minutes, a tendril of smoke curls up)
Mimi: It’s working! (Her shout blows it out)
Sora: Nice going, Dorkface. (she tries again, and creates an ember)
Joe: Can I have my glasses back now? I want to be able to see if there’s a bear attack.
Sora: Be quiet. (The ember glows red, and a few leaves catch on fire)
Mimi: *whispers* It’s working!
(Everyone holds their breath as it slowly gets taller and brighter…then-)
Davis: AHHHH! *comes flying out of the woods and gets tackled by Tai* (They land right in the middle of the fire pit, extinguishing the flames and scattering the wood)
Mimi: Tai, you bug-head!
Tai: *rips the goggles off Davis’ head* I got them! *beams*
Sora: That’s nice. In the process, you also KILLED OUR FIRE!
Tai: Huh? …oops.
Davis: Let’s just go to the other tribe and steal their idea.
Sora: Don’t you remember what happened the last time you tried that?
Davis: I thought we won.
Sora: Good point.
Matt: I refuse to go over there again and look at what should have been MY tribe.
Davis: I’ll go! *runs off*
Jun: I’m going to try the sticks again.
EAST SIDE
Kari: So, Martin. Should we try to build a fire, or wait and vote Ken off?
Martin: You know, I’m glad you’re all friends with me, but I’m getting a little worried for my personal safety. That Ken kid seems a little unbalanced. I’m not sure I want him for an enemy.
Kari: Well, he did take over most of the Digiworld once, but I’m sure you’ll be OK.
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Ken: (inside his hole) That Martin kid will be sorry once I get out of here… (he is drawing plans in the dirt on the sides of the hole) Ew, earthworms.
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Izzy: Now, we could very easily strike a spark with some flint…
TK: We don’t have any flint, genius.
Izzy: I knew I should have stolen my watch-with-the-flint-wristband back from IL.
Martin: I wish I still had my stuff, but it wasn’t exactly waterproof so I had to leave it on the bus. I had matches and food and a tent and everything.
Kari: You had what? Go swim back and get it!
SF’s Distant Voice: No leaving the island or you go straight to my camp!
Martin: I think I’ll stay here.
Ken’s Voice: Just kidding, that was me! You should go get your stuff.
TK: Shut up, Ken, or I’ll put a cover on that cage.
Ken: I have an idea. How about if you let me out of here, and I’ll tell you how to make a fire in one try.
Izzy: Forget it, Ken. This’ll teach you to take over the hospital television station without my permission! Now, observe. You simply take these two rocks and strike them together like so. (sparks fly, and one suddenly catches flame and a twig begins burning)
Kari: Yes! Flame! A tiny little flicker!
Davis: (peering through the trees) Rocks! I could have thought of that. (He starts to go back to his camp, then stops and looks back. He gets an idea)
Davis: Let’s see…back at our camp, Tai was chasing me and then when I fell in the fire, it went out. Therefore…HEY LOSERS!! (He comes running out of the woods and leaps onto their fire…which has flared up and is now burning brightly)
TK: DAVIS! Cody, hit him with your stick.
Cody: One does NOT use the Holy Kendo Stick for-
Davis: OW! HOT-HOT-HOT! (he leaps out of the fire – which is still going strong – with sleeves and pants burning) Mommmyyy!! *runs around in a panic before falling into Ken’s hole*
Ken: Ah! *pushes him out again*
Davis: I’m on FIRE! (he quickly takes off his burning clothes and flaps them in the air. He remains standing in his underwear)
Yolei: I think I’ve seen this on replays of the old Digimon episodes…only last time it was Tai on fire.
TK: Hey! Aren’t those Matt’s underwear?
Davis: No! *quickly puts on his singed, but no longer flaming, clothes*
TK: You really ARE a panty thief! First Tai’s, now Matt’s…who’s next?
Davis: This is MY underwear! I bought it!
TK: Oh, really? Where?
Davis: Target?
TK: Yeah right. Let’s see the receipt.
Davis: But I didn’t save it…
TK: Hah. No proof. Guilty!
Davis: *whines* No I’m not!
TK: Guil-ty! Guil-ty! (Everyone joins in) Guil-ty! Guil-ty! Guil-ty!
Davis: NOOOooo…*runs away with hands over ears*
TK: Hey look, I got rid of the pest.
*Triumphant music plays and Snowball drops down on a rope*
TK: Where’s Tokomon??
SB: Dad’s busy running Camp Snowflake now, so he let me do this one. Congratulations, here is your prize. *throws a bundle down on the ground* Meet IL and Nat on the north beach to hear the next challenge.
Kari: What did we get?
Yolei: *opens it* It’s a bag of Stay Puff Marshmallows in a burlap sack.
Izzy: What the heck? The other team got sleeping bags and pillows!
WEST SIDE
*sounds of Toko Copter*
SB: Guess what?
Matt: We won?
SB: Did you hear any triumphant music? No? Then that must mean you lose.
Davis: *bursts out of the woods, running* Hey guys! The other team made a fire! Oh…hi Snowball. Where’s Snowflake?
SB: Torturing Yolei. Now, the rest of you, meet me at the north beach to vote off one of your members.
Jun: Oh, Mattsy! I hope you don’t get voted off! *hugs him*
Matt: *whispers to Sora* Vote off Jun with me.
Sora: You already asked me to vote off Tai.
Matt: Damn. *whispers to Tai* Will you vote off Jun with me?
Tai: I thought you wanted me to vote off Sora and I promised I would, so now I have to.
Matt: Double damn. *whispers to Davis* Vote for Jun, okay?
Davis: Sure.
Matt: Good.
SB: To the beach! Now!
(Grumbling, the tribe heads for the beach. IL and Nat soon come into sight)
Nat: All right, you know how this works. You each vote for one person by going up there *points* and writing their name on the paper.
Matt: Cool, let’s get started. (he detangles himself from Jun’s arms and heads up the beach)
15 MINUTES LATER ON NORTH BEACH
Matt: OK, quick, count the votes!
Jun: Mattsy, I hope neither of us is voted off! I can’t bear it when we’re apart.
Matt: *smirks* Cross your fingers.
Jun: *squeezes his fingers really tight*
Matt: I said your fingers.
IL: Vote #1: Sora.
Sora: What?! How dare anyone try to vote me off? I’m the smart leader!
Matt: I could contest those points.
IL: Tai.
Tai: There must be some mistake. I’m too incredibly necessary to tribe welfare to be voted off.
All: Shut up, Tai.
IL: Jun. (Jun gasps and clutches Matt)
Matt: Hurry up.
Mimi: There are mosquitoes everywhere! I have red spots! I want to go home!
IL: Mimi-
Davis: Hah-hah, you can’t read! That says Davis – crap.
IL: As I was saying, Mimi, you can go to Camp Snowflake if you want. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut. And Davis has a vote.
Matt: It’s interesting how we have a 4-way tie so far. *coughs significantly*
IL: Jun.
Jun: That’s funny…Matt, it looks like your handwriting. Weird coincidence, huh?
Matt: Um, yeah. Coincidence.
IL: That’s 2 votes for Jun, one each for Sora, Tai, and Davis.
(Jun grips Matt even tighter)
Matt: *chokes* I said hurry!
IL: Sora.
Sora: You better not say my name again.
Nat: And the final vote is…Sora.
Sora: *stares* But what will you do without me? How will you collect wood??
Davis: We’ll manage.
Matt: *curses silently* *takes Tai aside*
Tai: What’s up, pal?
Matt: Pal? I told you to vote off Jun. If you had voted for Jun, she would be gone.
Tai: I can’t just break promises like that! If I broke my vow on who I was gonna vote for once, then anyone could just walk up and tell me who I should vote off!
Matt: And you could just say no.
Tai: Duh. That’s what I told you.
Matt: *glares*
Tai: Why do I get the feeling I’m about to be punched?
Matt: (innocently) Oh, I dunno.
SF: Hi! I’m here to collect my newest camper. (Sora tries to sneak off behind Tai)
Where do you think you’re going?
Sora: Camp?
SF: Very good. Off we go to Camp Snowflake!
Sora: Noooo! Let me stay here! I won’t participate in any of the challenges, I’ll just watch!
SF: That doesn’t involve you attending my camp. *drags her away*
CAMP SNOWFLAKE
PT: Okay, go. (Yolei and PT are playing a board game that looks a lot like chess)
Yolei: *moves a piece*
PT: AHAH! *captures her piece*
Yolei: You can’t do that.
PT: Sure I can! It’s a queen; I can move her however I want.
Yolei: But you have all queens instead of pawns.
PT: Too bad for you.
Sora’s Faraway Voice: Nooo! I don’t wanna goooo!
PT: Sounds like they voted Sora off.
SF: Welcome to Camp Snowflake!
Sora: Okay. It’s very lovely. Can I go now?
SF: No. I’m hungry. Yolei, you can go cook me some dinner. Sora, you can get out the Toko manicure kit and get to work on my toenails.
Sora/Yolei: *groan*
------
Yolei: I’m not very good at cooking stuff. I’m really only good at one specialty: macaroni and cheese.
Sora: What the heck? You’re always in the kitchen.
Yolei: Well, I’m very skilled at eating the food, and that takes up so much time that I never bothered with the culinary arts.
Sora: So what happens if you want to eat an egg?
Yolei: You know, they’re surprisingly good raw.
SF: Chop-chop! Hey, that’s a good idea. Make pork chops.
Yolei: I didn’t know hamsters ate meat.
SF: *gnashes teeth* I see I haven’t bitten you nearly enough.
Sora: Haven’t you noticed? He’s a rat.
SF: NOW! (He runs at them, snapping his jaws. The girls scream and run)
NORTH BEACH
IL: Finally, as a little pre-bedtime story, I’m going to explain the next challenge. Actually, we will be having a contest.
Izzy: Can we play Jeopardy again?
Ken: *smacks him* Shut up.
IL: Tomorrow at noon, return to this beach for a friendly little Tribe vs. Tribe game.
Davis: Oooh, let’s play soccer!
Matt: Considering the fact that Ken is on the other tribe, let’s not.
Ken: Yes! Soccer!
Ken’s Team, minus Martin: YEAH!
Martin: I’m not all that good at soccer, really.
TK: Do you think we are? We suck, but Ken’s so good he’d score 50 goals in a minute.
Ken: No…I’m afraid my record is only 20 goals in a minute.
Nat: THE CHALLENGE IS NOT SOCCER. It’s a surprise. Now go back to your camps and try to sleep before the hordes of bloodsucking insects come out in full force.
Joe: WHAT?!
Matt: She means mosquitoes, you moron. IL, may our tribe have some mosquito nets to console us after the loss of our dear friend?
Nat: Nah.
WEST SIDE
Davis: Ah, it sure is a lot quieter around here without Sora.
Joe: But now I can’t stop thinking about wood.
Matt: Hey guys, exactly how big is our shelter, anyway?
Tai: Big enough for 4 or 5 people, I imagine, if they all squish. (They stop short upon seeing their hut half-flattened by a fallen tree)
Tai: *gasps* But we worked so hard on it!! I remember when my hair poked holes in its roof…*crawls in, then comes back out, visibly brighter* Hey guys! We still have room for 2 people.
Jun: Yay! Let’s go, Matt!
Matt: No. Freaking. Way.
Jun: But Mattsy, it’s all windy and it might storm. You should go somewhere safe. And I’ll protect you.
Mimi: Let’s like, um, draw straws and see who gets to go in with me.
Tai: That’s stupid. Let’s play Tic-Tac-Toe and see who wins.
Davis: That’s not stupid? Let’s play rock-paper-scissors. Quick, pick a partner to beat. (Davis/Jun, Matt/Joe, Tai/Mimi)
Matt: 1-2-scissors!
Joe: Eeh! *jumps back and lets his hand fall*
Matt: You took paper! I win.
Tai: 1-2-rock!
Mimi: 1-2-oh my gosh my nail polish is chipping! *holds up two fingers*
Tai: Scissors! I win!
Jun: Davis, you better lose. 1-2-rock!
Davis: 1-2-scissors! Wait paper! Paper!!
Jun: Too bad, I win.
Matt: *glances between Jun and Tai* Hm…suddenly I don’t really want to win. *crosses fingers and prays*
Tai: How do we play if there are 3 of us?
Matt: We go until 2 people have the same thing and beat the other person, and hope it doesn’t take all night for that to happen.
Tai: Oh, OK then.
Matt: 1-2-rock.
Jun: 1-2-scissors.
Tai: 1-2-rock.
Matt: HAH, I beat Jun!
Tai: Me too!
Matt: …dang it, did I win?
Tai: Yup! We get to sleep in the hut!
Matt: Oh boy. Feel the joy.
Jun: Matt, you’re so cute when you rhyme.
Mimi: Then where am I supposed to sleep?
Matt: You can have my spot.
Jun: Then I’ll sleep by Matt and keep him warm!
Matt: Please. It’s the middle of summer.
Jun: But it gets cold in these up-north places after dark, especially if it’s raining.
Matt: I don’t believe this. Well, at least it will be dry in the hut. *goes in*
Jun: I’ll guard the door! *lies down in front of it in her sleeping bag* Aren’t you glad we have these?
Mimi: This is an outrage! I need my electric blanket and my feather pillow!
Davis: Either shut up, or I’m using your sleeping bag under mine and making you sleep in the dirt.
(Mimi sulkily curls up in her sleeping bag)
Joe: *curls up in his sleeping bag* Maybe we should have a lookout for, like, bears and stuff.
All: Shut up, Joe.
INSIDE THE HUT
Tai: Matt, move your feet.
Matt: No way. I got here first. (Matt is sprawled on his back while Tai is forced into a half-sitting position near the door.
Tai: This is ridiculous; I can’t fall asleep sitting up. Move over, Matt. I’m lying down next to you.
Matt: Like heck you are. If you don’t like this sleeping arrangement, you’re welcome to move your sleeping bag outdoors.
Tai: How about you sleep outside?
Matt: How about I punch your lights out? You won’t be complaining when you’re unconscious.
Tai: That’s okay.
Matt: Good, now shut up and go to bed.
Tai: SOMEbody got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Matt: Well, I was perfectly fine this morning. Then I woke up and the nightmare began…AND you wouldn’t vote Jun off!
Tai: Other people have had a bad day, you know. You should learn to be more sensitive to other peoples’ feelings. For example, did you ever consider how Jun feels?
Matt: How Jun…feels? Wait a minute. She can’t feel anything. Honestly, I could bash her head in and she wouldn’t notice. She must not have nerve endings.
Tai: That’s not what I meant. Don’t you think she is ever sad or angry or depressed?
Matt: I know she feels desperate.
Tai: OK, try this: pretend you’re Jun…
Matt: Eeeeuuuwww! No way.
Tai: Fine. Pretend you’re in love with Sora.
Matt: But I’m not.
Tai: Shh. You love Sora, but she doesn’t love you. You try to hug her or talk to her or something, and she pushes you away and/or refuses to talk to you. How do you feel?
Matt: Umm. Well, I’d get the hint and walk away. I’d never talk to her or go near her again. Ever.
Tai: You’re not even trying!
Matt: Well, that’s because I’m smart and this exercise is stupid. Just like Jun. Jun is stupid. Challenged, really.
Tai: Are you serious? I didn’t know THAT. Poor Jun. Matt, you should be nicer to her. In fact, let’s make sure nobody votes for Jun next time. That will make her feel better.
Matt: I told you, Jun doesn’t feel things like emotions.
Tai: You mean it’s even worse than I thought?? Gosh, I hope Jun wins.
Matt: Tai, you’re an idiot. Sometimes I think Jun is smarter than you.
Tai: Wait, I thought you said Jun was challenged…hey Davis, is Jun retarded? (silence)
DAVIS!
Davis: WHAT? It’s 3 AM!
Tai: It’s barely past sunset. Is Jun retarded?
Davis: Of course. *goes back to sleep*
Matt: For the love of…Tai, go to sleep. Jun’s not retarded.
Tai: I think Davis knows his own sister a little better than you do.
Matt: Don’t be so sure. Jun’s with me more than she’s at home. Now go to sleep.
EAST SIDE
Kari: So, how are we going to sleep with no pillows or sleeping bags?
TK: We have a perfectly good pillow and blanket right here. *holds up burlap sack and marshmallow bag* If you want, the two of us could share.
Kari: No thanks. I’ll find some leaves or something.
Ken: Maybe we should steal from the other tribe.
Izzy: Shut your hole, Ken, or we’ll put you back in your hole.
Martin: I’m getting kind of hungry, how about you guys?
TK: Hey, yeah! When’s the last time we ate?
Izzy: Lunch at 12:17.
TK: *stomach rumbles*
Izzy: *checks watch* I don’t know, the water from the lake ruined it.
Ken: You have 10 million gadgets, but not a waterproof watch?!
Martin: I have a waterproof watch. It’s…8:52.
TK: What? I don’t believe you. I’m losing my sense of time. Wait, how many nights have we been here? 6 or 8?
Kari: This is our first night, dummy. Now, where should we sleep?
Ken: Well, if you had all built the tree house like I told you to…
Martin: We should have built our fort bigger. Probably only 3 or 4 people can fit in ours.
TK: Well, both Izzy and Cody are really short, so maybe we’ll all fit.
Izzy: Excuse me, but I am no longer short. I am average sized.
TK: Sure, for a girl maybe. Kari is the same height as you. Actually, come to think of it, she’s a little taller.
Izzy: Now you’re just asking to be beaten up. (TK pipes down)
Martin: You know, we probably have time to build another shelter before bed. (Thunder rumbles)
Kari: Good idea.
*~20 minutes later, a second stick-and-mud shelter has been constructed*~
Kari: Oh good, we’re done. Boys in the new fort, girls in the old fort!
TK: No way. There’s 5 of us and 1 of you.
(Small raindrops start falling; 10 seconds later 3 people are in each fort)
Kari: Or this works too. (Martin and TK nod)
Izzy: (to Ken) I can’t believe I ended up sharing a fort with you.
Cody: And me.
Izzy: What? Oh, yeah.
Ken: This will be an interesting night.
Izzy: First, how tall is everyone?
Cody: Why?
Izzy: I’m going to calculate exactly how much space everyone needs. Anyone venturing a millimeter into my space will be taken outside for a beating.
Cody: Does that mean that if you enter our spaces, we can beat YOU up?
Izzy: Of course not. You wouldn’t be able to if you tried, anyway.
Ken: There’s a much easier way to decide this. We’ll go by each person’s value to the tribe. Therefore, I get 75% of our hut.
Izzy: If we went by your system, you’d be sleeping outside. Have you forgotten how you were almost voted out first? This time I bet you ARE.
Cody: Why can’t we just split it in 3 equal parts?
Izzy: Hold on. I vote we split it by amount of experience in the Digiworld. Therefore, I get twice as much space as Ken, and Cody gets a slightly smaller portion.
Ken: Slightly? I was there months before Cody.
Cody: But you weren’t experiencing it. You were just conquering.
TK: (yelling across) Would you three SHUT UP over there?! WE’RE trying to sleep! We must be a lot smarter than you guys.
Ken: I warned you about calling Martin smarter than me.
Martin: Honestly! (comes into the hut) This is really not that difficult. *arranges them into comfortable positions* There. See? Not hard. Good night. *leaves*
Ken: *scowling at the wall* I could have thought of that.
WEST SIDE – HUT (a few hours later)
Matt: *wakes up with someone wrapped around his neck* Am I back in my Calmwood straitjacket? *sighs* No such luck, it’s only Jun. Jun, go away. Your pointy hair is poking me in the eye and you’re drooling on me.
Tai: *wakes up with his arms wrapped around Matt* What? AHHHHHHH!
Matt: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
WEST SIDE – OUTSIDE
Mimi: *jerks awake* What? What’s going on?!
Joe: RABID BEAR! *sits bolt upright*
Davis: There’s a bear!
Mimi: EEH! Bears kill people!
Jun: MATT! BEAR ATTACK! *rushes to him*
Matt: (now sitting far away from Tai) *holds hands up* What bear? I see no bear.
Jun: Joe saw one!
(All agree)
Matt: Really. You saw a bear?
Mimi: (looking around and realizing there is no bear) You ruined my beauty sleep. Why are you making up stories about bears, Joe?
Joe: Well…I heard you and Tai screaming. What other logical reason could there be for screaming in the middle of the night? *looks around nervously*
Tai: Uh…
Matt: You don’t want to know. I don’t want to know, and I was there. I’ll have nightmares the rest of the trip. And I am definitely sleeping outside now. *heads out*
*rain suddenly begins pouring down*
Davis: Into the hut!
Matt: Wait-(everyone barrels through the door. Jun pins Matt into a corner and curls up in his lap)
Jun: I’m going into shock from the cold! I need to regenerate my body heat!
Matt: Sick, sick, sick. You were in the rain for 3 seconds.
Tai: Oof. Oh, yeah, this is much more comfortable than before. (everyone is crammed into the hut, sitting in oddly contorted positions to make themselves fit)
Davis: Wait! Someone has to go for our sleeping bags! Rock-paper-*gets punched*
Matt: Rock-paper-scissors is now officially banned from this camp.
Davis: But they’ll get all soggy!
Matt: They’re already all soggy, and we don’t have room in here anyway. Then again, we don’t really have room for you either. So you can go sleep outside again, or stay here quietly. If you say anything else, you get punched. (silence falls, save for the pounding rain)
Joe: So there definitely was no rabid bear?
EAST SIDE [Earlier]
Martin: I’m not really sleepy, how about you guys?
TK: *snores*
Kari: *slaps him* No snoring! I usually go to bed at 2 AM or so. I usually stay out late working.
Martin: Huh. I have homework every night so I stay up until at least midnight.
TK: (sleepily) I go to bed at 8:00 every night like my mom tells me to.
Kari: Let’s tell ghost stories!
TK: Once upon a time…
Kari: That’s not a ghost story, that’s how fairy tales start.
Martin: Actually, a lot of the original fairy tales had really violent, gory stuff in them and they weren’t meant for kids at all. Like in one story, Cinderella’s stepsisters put on these shoes and they have to dance, and they can’t stop until their shoes fill with blood. Did you know that?
TK: Quiet! This is MY ghost story and I’ll tell it however I want.
Once upon a time, in the dark woods, there were 3 kids named Martin, TK and Kari. TK wanted to sleep because it was very late, but Martin and Kari kept talking. TK became very angry. The next morning, Martin and Kari were gone and were never seen again. They say if you visit the woods, you can still hear their voices on the wind, crying, “We’re sorry, TK…” The beauty of my story is that it has a moral.
Martin: Right. “Pay no attention to TK.”
Kari: TK, that was the lamest “ghost story” I’ve ever heard. Now, I’LL tell you a good ghost story.
TK: You must not have understood the moral of my story. Allow me to explain it to you. "TK GOT ANGRY…”
Martin: Actually, I guess I’m kind of tired.
TK: See, Kari? Girls are dumb.
Kari: That’s an odd statement for a kid who’s always arguing with Davis about which one of you is going out with me.
TK: I’ve stopped arguing with him, since I’m the one.
Kari: Listen up. I’m going to tell my story whether you like it or not.
Once there were two brothers who decided to go camping. They packed up a tent and two hiking bags. As they were preparing to leave, their older sister stopped them. “You’re not going camping, are you?” she asked. They answered that they were. “Didn’t you hear about the ghost bear? She was the biggest bear who ever lived in this area. Her two cubs were killed by a hunter. She killed the hunter, but he shot her first and she died from the wound. To this day, the mother bear’s ghost continues to search for her lost cubs.” The brothers dismissed her story as b.s. and went on their camping trip anyway.
On the first night, they heard a growling sound, but decided it must have been the wind. They woke up to find most of their food ripped open, but blamed it on raccoons. The second night, the younger brother saw a pair of glowing eyes in the woods, staring into his tent. The older brother told him they were fireflies. On the third night, the older brother was out in the woods answering the call of nature while his brother waited in the tent. Suddenly, the younger brother heard a terrible scream. He rushed out to see what was wrong, but there was nothing there...only a savage growl before something knocked him flat on his back…
When rescuers discovered the campsite a week later, they found the tent ripped to shreds and debris scattered all around the campsite, but no trace of the boys, not even their bodies. They were never seen again, but sometimes on dark nights…
Distant Voices: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Distant Voice #2: EEEEEHHHH!
Kari: Huh? I didn’t even get to the scary part yet.
Joe’s Distant Voice: …BEAR!
TK: AHH! GHOST BEAR!
Izzy: (muffled) Shut up.
TK: There’s a ghost bear on the loose!!
Kari: Shut UP!
TK: But what if –
Cody: CLOSE YOUR MOUTHS, ALL OF YOU! IT IS ESSENTIAL TO ONE’S SPIRITUAL HEALTH TO SLEEP TEN HOURS EACH NIGHT, FROM 9 PM TO 6 AM! PREVENTING OTHERS FROM ACHIEVING THIS INVOKES THE WRATH OF THE HOLY BUDDHA AND THE KENDO STICK! SO SAYETH THE HOLY WORD and Grandpa. GOOD NIGHT.
(Shocked silence at the sheer volume coming from tiny little Cody)
Kari: So, um, I’m pretty tired and I think I’ll go to sleep.
TK: *whispering* Yeah. The ghost bear’s probably gone. Go to sleep everyone.
Martin: I’ll go to sleep when I’m ready to go to sleep. OK, I’m ready to go to sleep now.
*~*~Trumpets Playing Revelry*~*~
MORNING
Ken: (groggily) Where is that coming from?
Cody: 5 more minutes Grandpa…
Izzy: *rolls over and slaps Ken on the nose*
Ken: Hey!
Izzy: *wakes up* What?
Ken: I am not an alarm clock, dummy!
Izzy: *growls* What did you call me?!
Ken: You’re obviously not a morning person.
(Martin pokes his head into the tent)
Martin: Rise and shine!
Izzy: How can you be so…happy? Aren’t you tired?
Martin: Not really. It’s already 7:30. I usually get up at 6 for school.
IL’s Voice (over loudspeaker): Good morning Digi Destined, Jun and Martin. Everyone please report to the beach.
TK: *stomach rumbles* I hope that’s the call to breakfast.
Kari: Knowing IL and Nat, probably not.
Martin: Hey, we could always have marshmallows if we get hungry.
TK: Um, about that…see, last night, when I heard the ghost bear I threw the bag of marshmallows at it…and when I went to look this morning there were squirrels and birds picking at the last ones.
Kari: You idiot! We need food!
TK: Hey, I feel bad too. It was a really good pillow.
WEST SIDE
Tai: *wakes up* Man, this is worse than sleeping under 1,000 Tokomons. They don’t weigh nearly as much. Everyone get off me!
Everyone: *continues sleeping*
Tai: GET OFF ME! *kicks, shoves, and punches*
Mimi: Stop it! I’m getting a bruise! I’ll never be able to model again, even if I do get home.
Sora: SHUT UP! *punches and kicks Tai back*
Matt: *slowly opens his eyes and sees Jun lying next to him* AH! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? What was I doing…*remembers the island* Oh. *looks slightly relieved*
Joe: Ow, ow, cramp. *hobbles out of the shelter and stretches his legs*
Davis: *continues snoring*
*~*~Trumpets Playing Revelry*~*~
Davis: *jerks awake* It’s the U.S. Army! They’ve come to liberate us!
IL’s Voice (over loudspeaker): Good morning Digi Destined, Jun and Martin. Everyone please report to the beach.
Matt: Nope, damn, it’s just Interview Lady again.
Davis: Oh no! The Army has been overthrown by IL and Nat!
Matt: Between you and Joe last night, I have heard more than enough stupid comments to last me the rest of this trip. I advise you both to stop talking.
Davis: Wait I thought IL and Nat said noon. This is like barely dawn.
Tai: Once again, Davis, you are way off. It’s got to be at least 10 AM.
Davis: Still.
Jun: Look Matt, it’s a beautiful sunny day! Let’s go walk to the beach.
Tai: Wait! I have to change my clothes first.
Matt: You don’t have any other clothes.
Tai: What?? I can’t just go on wearing the same clothes day after day! That’s unsanitary.
Matt: You wore the same clothes every day in the Digiworld.
Tai: That was completely different.
Matt: How?
Davis: Come on guys, let’s go see what our next challenge is! Race you! *skips along the path*
Tai: Davis, you’re so stupid. That’s no way to win a race. *runs off*
Matt: *looks around, then bolts, hoping to avoid Jun*
Jun: Matt! *runs after him*
Mimi: Get back here! Jun, my compact is stuck in your hair! *runs*
Joe: Don’t leave me all alone!! Wait up! *joins the line dead last*
NORTH BEACH
IL: Ah, it’s so nice to see you all here. Did you sleep well?
(There’s an explosion of noise as everyone complains: “Jun-bears-Tai-cramped hut-screaming-Martin-bugs and dirt-ghost bears-”)
Nat: That was really sort of a rhetorical question. We’re here to give you the next challenge.
Davis: On the real Survivor, they get letters in mailboxes explaining the challenges. How come we don’t get that?
Nat: Because then Mulder would have to walk all over the island to deliver it. It would be cruel to make him do all that work when it doesn’t benefit us in any way.
TK: Where is Mulder, anyway?
IL: Never mind about him. Your next challenge will be held right here on this beach. For the winners, we’ve laid out an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast. The losers will go back to camp hungry and join me on the beach two hours later to vote off another member.
Matt: *rolls eyes* All right, what stupid thing do we have to do now?
Nat: It has come to our attention that some of you are having difficulty getting along with your fellow tribe members. Therefore, our activity this morning will be “Team Building.”
Davis: Absolutely not. No way.
Izzy: I propose that we just forfeit our participating and accept it as a loss.
Ken: *grabs him by the collar* Oh, no you don’t. You just want to vote me off so you and Martin can rule the island. Well, I don’t plan to wimp out of a little human interaction.
Martin: Come on you guys, I’m really hungry, especially since SOMEONE threw out our only food. Let’s try to win. We can get rid of Ken next time.
Ken: Did you hear that?! He freely admitted to hating me. IL, make Snowflake bite him. (Martin rolls his eyes)
IL: Anyway. The challenge of the day will be a race over an obstacle course, which you will need to the other members of your tribe to help you get through. Pretend you are being chased by rabid Batpigs and spazzing Pikachus, because it’s a distinct possibility. You must cross a wall, get across a pit of sand using just one rope, and swing across the stream using 5 tire swings. After that it’s a sprint to the finish line. The last team to reach the finish line loses the challenge, goes home hungry and has to vote off a member. Any questions?
Matt: Yes. Can we skip the contest and go straight to the voting-people-off part?
Nat: We already answered that question. The next person who asks gets shocked. Now, line up at the starting line: On your marks, get set, go!
Ken: All right guys, up and over the wall! Let’s move, move, move!
Izzy: OK. (He “moves” by running forward and shoving Ken into the wall)
Ken: OW! What was that for?
Davis: Hey, I know! Let’s just go around the wall.
IL: That’s the kind of thing that disqualifies you.
Matt: Hmm…Davis, try to go around the wall.
IL: Also, the wall is flanked by poison ivy.
TK: Hey, I sat in poison ivy once. It’s cool and refreshing.
IL: Blatant attempts to sabotage the other team instead of trying to win will also result in disqualification.
TK: What about subtle ones?
Chapter 8