Rating: PG-13
Original Date of Completion: September 2002
Disclaimer: I own them all, and you can't have them. This is totally fake, and conjured up in the confines of my demented little mind. Don't sue me.
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Kris' POV
You know that you're in love when you start getting paranoid about the stupidest of things. When I called Kirk's house and got the busy signal, I immediately panicked. He's got call waiting, and voicemail, so the only reason it would be busy is if he took it off the hook. And as distraught as he was last night, that only sprang bad thoughts to mind. So I called around to anyone I could think of for a babysitter. Sean and Dandy volunteered, and reluctantly I accepted their offer. If it were just Sean by himself, there'd be no way. But Dandy has the maternal instincts, so I knew he could handle it. And if they had any problems, I was only a cell phone away, and Julie would be home eventually. So I waited (rather impatiently) for them to show up. When they did, I gave them any instructions they needed and was out the door in five minutes. As I said, I was paranoid and wanted to make sure my boyfriend was still alive.
The whole drive to his house, I felt jittery. I kept one hand on the wheel and the other out the window, drumming nervously on the car door. I kept telling myself how ridiculous I was for being so paranoid. He took his phone off the hook all the time, especially when he wanted to sleep for long periods of time. But even with that playing in my mind, nervousness was still running rampant. I knew it wouldn't go away until I was sure he was okay. And even then, it might take pulling him into my arms, and a few kisses just to be sure.
When I got to his building, I could swear I saw Julie pulling out of the parking lot. I did a double take, and glanced back at the car as it drove away. It looked like her car, but it was gone in such a hurry, there was really no way to be sure. Not like it really mattered, there were much more pressing issues on my mind right now. I pulled into the parking lot and parked next to his car. I glanced up at his windows, and saw the shades were still closed. 'Maybe he IS still sleeping.' I told myself, trying to be comforting. That succeeded in calming my nerves, at least long enough for me to get out of the car and walk up to his door. If when I knocked, no one answered, they’d be back with a vengeance.
I tapped softly on the door with my knuckle. Kirk’s voice rang out quickly with "Just a sec" and I leaned against the wall in relief. 'See, you were being stupid.' I told myself again. I'm not a huge worrier, but when I get something in my mind, I usually run with it. I'm more glad than I can ever say that I was wrong in this case. I pushed myself from the wall, and waited for the door to open. When it did, I was shocked by what I saw.
Kirk's face was pinker than I'd ever saw it, and if you said his name the right way you could get him to blush. His eyes were puffy, and totally bloodshot. His cheek looked swollen, but just on one side. I frowned at him sadly, and he flashed a half grin. He stepped forward and shocked me by slipping his arms around me and pulling me in for a kiss. His lips were soft, silky, and tasted vaguely of tears. His hands nestled in my hair, and I reached up to cup his face. As my hands came in contact with his cheek, he jerked away from me with a light hiss. I looked at him questioningly, and stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind me.
"What's up with that?" I asked, trying to run my finger down his cheek again.
He leaned back out of my way, and I frowned at him. He sighed and grabbed my hand. He tugged lightly on my arm in the direction of the couch, but I planted my feet with a grin. He stopped and glared at me, crossing his arms across his chest. Smugly, I walked past him and over to the recliner. I reclined back and rested my hands behind my head. He shot me a glare again, and walked over to the couch.
"I was going to tell you something kind of important, hence why I wanted you on the couch," He pouted, jutting out his bottom lip.
I'd found out over the past 4 months, that I couldn't resist him whenever he did that. I sat up in my chair and stepped over to the couch. I sat next to him, and brought my lips to his. Our lips met softly, just a slow, feather light contact. As he tried to separate, I captured his bottom lip between my teeth and nibbled at it softly. He giggled, and I let his lip slip from mouth. He grinned, and we shared another quick kiss.
"Okay," He said, instantly serious. "You're probably going to get mad. But know now, that it didn’t work," He rambled, staring down at the floor.
"What?" I asked perplexedly, slipping my hand into his.
He sighed, and lifted his head, our eyes connecting. "I went and talked to Kenny this morning,"
In an instant, my heart dropped. I pulled my hand from his and moved back away from him. I couldn't believe he would do that. Especially after last night; he agreed to not do anything, just wait it out and see what happened. And then the next morning, he tries to dive in front of the bullet. He knew I would never want him to do that. It was my choice to be with him, and any consequence that came along because of it was more than worth it. That was the cowards way out, he knew that. Yet he did it anyway. In six years, I'd never known him to take the easy way out. And now, in a situation where he was an innocent, where he'd be perfectly safe if he just stood out of the way, he threw himself in harm's path. I can't believe he would do that.
"You did WHAT?" I asked, my voice louder than I'd wanted.
A look of hurt spread across Kirk's face quickly, and I saw tears bud up in his eyes. "I..." He started in a whisper.
"How could you, Kirk?" I snapped, fighting to control my anger. "You KNEW I wouldn't let you do that, so you do it behind my back? What the fuck is that shit?" I yelled, standing up from the couch.
The tears were flowing liberally from his eyes now, and inside I'm screaming at myself to stop. But my anger over this was so strong. I felt....betrayed. It may not have been intentional, but I felt a knife sticking in my back. If loving him got me traded, I was more than willing to call myself a Thrasher. Sergei had come after me, and I was prepared to deal with whatever he threw my way. But Kirk stepped in the way of that, threw himself to slaughter. Or, tried to. As sweet as that may be, as much as that may show how much he loves me, I felt like it robbed me of my manhood. I walked over to the window and rested my hands on the sill, staring outside. I took a short breath and prepared to speak, but was cut off by a sniffle.
"I couldn't let him take you away from your kids," He said quietly, sniffling at the finish.
And as quick as I was mad at him, I wasn't anymore. I couldn't possibly with the words that just came from his mouth. I rushed over to him and threw my arms around him, almost tackling him on the couch. He tensed at first, but relaxed quickly and laid his head on my shoulder. I ran my hands along his back and buried my face in his neck. His tears continued, and I soon felt some slipping from my own eyes. I felt lower than low for yelling at him like I did. I knew how sensitive he was about this whole situation, I should've let him explain before losing my head. But I hadn't, and now I held my crying boyfriend in my arms for the second day in a row. This was NOT something I wanted to become routine. I placed a soft kiss just below his earlobe, and pulled away from him.
I stared at him, and I felt my heart dropping even lower. Tears glistened on his cheeks, his entire face looking pink and puffy. His eyes looked so sad, tears glinting around the pale blue. He looked so innocent, like a small child who'd been yelled at by his parents for the first time. I squeezed more tears from my eyes, and leaned toward him. Softly, I brought my lips to his face, kissing just below his eyes. The skin burned beneath my lips. I could feel Kirk flinch as my lips made contact, but he made no attempts to move. His eyes fluttered closed, and my lips drifted upward, planting soft kisses to each of his eye lids. I slipped my hand into his hair, and my kisses drifted further still. I kissed a line slowly across his forehead, delicately pressing my lips to his skin. When I ran out of skin, I pulled away and stared at him. His eyes opened slowly, and a small smile crept to his lips. I smiled at him sadly, and entwined my hand with his.
"I am so sorry for yelling at you, Kirk," I said softly, running my thumb along his hand.
"Shh," He said, shaking his head. "I deserved it,"
"No, you didn't," I smiled and shook my head. "I should've let you explain first,"
He leaned forward and pushed his lips softly onto mine. It was a brief kiss, but I could feel him smiling as we pulled apart. I reached up and ruffled his hair, then stared into his eyes. His eyes were smiling now, but it still hurt me to see him looking the way he did. I had to find a way to make him feel better, to take his mind off of everything for a little while. I'm a father, you think I'd be good at stuff like that.
As soon as that thought crossed my mind, it hit me. Whenever Kennedy gets upset, I just take her for ice cream. I grinned at Kirk and hopped to my feet, still holding his hand. Like he had with me earlier, I tugged him in the direction I wanted, and like me, he stayed put. I smiled and knelt down in front of him.
"Come on," I said, jerking my head toward the door. "Let’s go,"
"Go where?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Out for ice cream, it'll make you feel better," I said with a smile.
His eyes lit up, and a huge smile came across his lips. Be they 2 or 29, the promise of ice cream can make anyone happy. I got to my feet and pulled him along with me. I yanked him right up into a hug and kissed him on the cheek. Again, he hissed and jerked away. I glared at him, and he just smiled and walked past me to the door. He tossed it open and stepped outside, but I grabbed his arm before he was all the way out. I had to know what was going on with that cheek, or I was going to lose my mind.
"What's up with the cheek, Kirk?"
He grinned and stepped the remaining bit out the door. "Why don't you ask your wife?" He laughed, stepping out of my sight.
I stood there dumbfounded for a second, thinking somehow I'd heard wrong. But after I replayed the words in my head about five times, I realized I hadn't heard wrong, and now had even more questions. I shook my head and charged after him, slamming the door behind me. I bounded down the stairs and ran up to him. He was just about to climb into his car, but I grabbed him and spun him around, pinning him against my car. He giggled and put his arms around my neck.
"What about my wife?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. He leaned forward and kissed me quickly on the lips. "I'll tell you over a sundae," He giggled, pushing me out of his way.
He hopped into his car and fired up the engine. I sighed in frustration and threw my hands up in the air. I could see him laughing inside the car and shook my head. I walked over to the passenger side and slid into the car. He was going to tell me what happened with his cheek, and apparently my wife, wether he wanted to or not. And if he tried to resist, well, he might just wind up with a noseful of rainbow sprinkles.
* * *
"So let me get this straight?" I asked, picking at my Oreo Blizzard. "You told her what you did, and she slapped you?"
He took a bite of his hot fudge sundae and nodded at me. We'd decided on Dairy Queen for our ice cream needs, mainly because it was the first place we saw. Now we sat in their courtyard, at a faded red picnic table. Kirk sat on the bench, eating the world's chocolatiest hot fudge sundae; and I sat on the table part, picking at a small Oreo Blizzard, that had far more Oreos than ice cream. Kirk had been filling me in, albeit in between bites, of what had transpired with Julie. I was trying to be a neutral ear, but I was having a hard time not laughing at him. I'd known Julie to lose her cool like that one time, and even then it took an insane amount of Tequila and a guy grabbing her ass. I don't know what was going through her mind when she'd slapped Kirk, but it obviously wasn't good. I'm not so sure I can blame her, though. I would never hit him, but before he'd told me why, I was sure ready to stop talking to him for a while.
"She just clocked you? You didn't see it coming?" I asked, trying to fight back a grin, but failing miserably.
He shot me a quick glare, then rolled his eyes. "Laugh all you want, I know I deserved it," He stated, taking a bite of his ice cream.
He slid the fork slowly from his mouth, leaving a speck of hot fudge on his lip. He grinned, and I knew there was no way I could resist. I glanced around the courtyard and smiled at its empty state. I sat next to him on the bench and cupped his chin in my hand. I leaned forward and kissed him softly. I ran my tongue along the seam of his lips, vanquishing the chocolate that had stained the skin. I felt his lips part in a smile, and ran my tongue around them one final time. I pulled away from him, and he grinned at me. And then suddenly, it felt like I was kicked in the stomach.
As I stared at him, I realized for the first that I could lose him. A sickening feeling swept over me in an instant. I'd thought about it, but it had never hit me until now. I could wake up in a week from now, and be a thousand miles away from the man I loved. I could be wearing a different jersey, after ten years. I could go months without seeing my kids. With that thought, my heart drops even lower. I couldn't ask Julie to move away from her family, from the life she's established in Detroit. I'd have to go it alone. I'd lose everything if I lost Detroit. I feel tears start to slip down my face, and through them I see Kirk's scared face.
"Kris? What's wrong?" He asked, paranoid budding in his voice.
I shake my head and try to smile at him, but the tears kill any chance of that happening. Through my blurred vision, I see him slide closer to me on the bench, and feel his hands grab my face. I choke on a sob and collapse against him meekly. His arms slip around me almost instantly, and I feel his icy lips press against my temple. I try to speak, but my voice comes out as nothing more than a broken wail. Kirk rubs his hands on my back and murmurs into my ear.
"Shh. Everything will be fine,"
"How....do you know?" I manage to choke out.
He pushes me away, then tucks his hand under my chin. He lifts my eyes level with his, and wipes a tear from my face with his thumb. He smiled at me, and I couldn't help but think how beautiful he is.
"I don't know how I know," He explains, grasping my hands in his. "But I do,"
The confidence in his eyes was intoxicating. I stared at him intently, and found my heart lifting back into my chest. He seemed so sure of everything. There was an unwavering seriousness on his face, and it struck me straight to the core. I don't know why, but I believed him. I don't think there'd be a way for me to see that look on his face and not believe what he was telling me. There was still an unsureness in the pit of my stomach. But I got that in any situation I wasn't in control of. It just took a bit longer than usual for this one to hit me.
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. Kirk smiled, and brushed his lips against mine.
"I promise," He said softly, pulling me into a hug. "Everything will turn out okay,”
I sighed and slipped my arms around his back. "I believe you, baby," I murmured into his neck.
"Good," He whispered, kissing the top of my head.
We stayed like that until voices approaching broke us apart. Thankfully, they didn't recognize who we were. That was one good thing to be said about not being a Hall of Famer. We smiled and kept pretty much silent as we picked at the melted remains of our ice cream. He killed off what was left of his, and I wound up tossing my floating oreos in the trash. When we finished, we walked over and sat beneath the Weeping Willow that adorned the courtyard, out of everyone's sight. I slipped my hand into his, and he leaned over and kissed me. He laid his head on my shoulder, and I petted his hair.
"Love you," I told him, squeezing his hand.
"Love you," He echoed.
"What else do you want to do today? It's only 4, and I've got Sean and Dandy on babysit duty until 9," I explained, digging at the dirt with the heel of my shoe.
He lifted his head from my shoulder and stared at me with a grin. "You have Sean and Dandy on babysit duty?"
"What? I was worried, they offered, I jumped on it. Besides, Julie's probably home by now anyway,"
"Putting ice on her hand," He grumbled, rubbing his cheek.
I giggled and rolled my eyes. "Oh come on, she couldn't have....."
My cell phone blaring from my pocket cuts me off mid-sentence. I dig into my jeans and retrieve the wailing device. I check the caller id and my blood runs cold: Holland, Kenneth. I don't think I can answer it. This was it. This could be the last phone call I ever got as a Red Wing. Tomorrow I could be away from Kirk, from Julie, from my friends, from my kids. The phone shakes in my hand. My terror must be obvious, because Kirk leans over and looks at the caller id. His eyes dart up to mine, and I see the same scared look that must be etched across my face. I sigh, and not breaking eye contact, flip the phone open and bring it to my ear.
"Hello?" I say hesitantly, keeping my eyes locked with Kirk. His hand slips down my arm, and entwines with mine.
"Kris? Ken Holland. How are you?" He asks cheerfully, which for some reason only increases my nervousness.
"I'm....good Kenny," I reply, clutching the phone tightly.
"Is Kirk with you?"
"Yes....he is," I reply slowly.
"Good. I called him at home and got no answer. Look. If at all possible, I'd like to meet you two at McKainay park in about 30 minutes,"
I swear my heart stops when he speaks those words. Why would he want to meet us at a park? Why not in his office? Something seemed wrong here. Horribly wrong. I stared at Kirk, and an eager, but sad look of question graced his beautiful face. I frowned at him sadly, and mouthed the words "I don't know." He nodded and leaned back against the tree with a sigh. I squeezed his hand, and drew a deep breath.
"Sure, a half hour is good," I spoke, trying to disguise my emotion. "McKainay is the one..."
"By Kirk's apartment, yes," Ken interrupts, and I hear papers shuffling on his end of the phone. With each sound, my chest gets a little bit tighter.
"Okay, we'll be there,"
"Good. See you then,"
And as quick as that, the line is dead. Slowly, I close the phone and set it on the ground. Kirk lifts his head from the tree and looks at me with that same look of question. I squeeze his hand and breathe a long sigh. I'm terrified right now, but I can't let him know it. I've got to keep it together. Because if I fall apart, he'll be right behind me. And I don’t know how good it would be for us to have breakdowns before we even knew what could happen. Judgement day was upon us, as lame as that may sound. In just a few short minutes, our futures would be decided. The end of the most perfect four months of my life could be right around the corner. I could wake up tomorrow an Atlanta Thrasher. I could wake up knowing that I had to walk away from Detroit, from my wife, from my kids. And from something that took me a lifetime to find. How in the hell could I ever do that?
I feel tears building in my eyes, and bite my lip to fight them back. I clench my hand into a fist and stare into Kirk's eyes. There's a glint of moisture surrounding them, and I smile at him sadly. I lean forward and place my lips on his. Softly we kiss, my cares being drained away by the silky caress of his lips. A tear drips from his eye and lands on my lip. I lick it away slowly, and the salty taste reminds me how real the situation is. I pull from him reluctantly and graze my hand down his non-injured cheek.
"It's time?" He asks quietly, gauging me with his eyes.
I smile at him softly and nod. "It's time,"
TBC
© 2002 Triple X
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