Rating: PG-13
Original Date of Completion: September 2002
Disclaimer: I own them all, and I'm not sharing. This is totally fake, and conjured up in the confines of my demented little mind. Don't sue me, that would be not nice.
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Kirk's POV
From the second Kris hung up his phone, it was like my world froze. When I'd looked at the caller id and saw Kenny's name, I knew what the call was about. The moment of truth was upon us. In 30 minutes, actually, more like 10 now, we'd know our futures. All I could think about was what it would be like to be without him. It took so long for me to get him, three freaking years of my life I spent longing after something I never thought I could have. Then one day, I got him, and the most perfect four months of my life ensued. And now, they could all be ended by an arrogant, homophobic Russian. The only good thing about all of this; at least we didn't have to wait anymore.
Well, there was still time left to wait, and it would be the longest ten minutes of my life. Kris and I sat alone in McKainay park, in a pavilion at the far end of the park. We'd barely spoken since Dairy Queen. And even now, as we sat alone, waiting for something that could change our lives forever, we didn't say a word. We sat at a rickety picnic table, hands entwined, but both of us off in our own little world. Hell, I'd love to know what was going on in his mind right now. I'd love to know what was going on in anyone's mind besides my own right now. As much as I wanted to have an optimistic outlook right now, I could only assume the worst. The thoughts running around in my head were only succeeding in depressing me even more. I could only think about all the things I'd lose. I wouldn’t be losing just a boyfriend. I'd be losing a best friend, THE best friend I had ever had in my life. And I'd be losing a love, a love that took me my whole life to find. I'm not saying this would be the end of it. But it would certainly be a big roadblock to go around. Long distance relationships aren't easy, believe me.
But any past LDR hadn't meant as much to me as this one would. This was Kris, my dream guy, my undisputed "one." Shayne, Brent, Trevor, none of them could hold a candle to Kris in my heart. I'd loved Trevor more than I'd ever loved anyone, but not even he could come close to what I felt for Kris. Over three years, Kris had held a large portion of my heart. But I'd never given it all over, because I'd always thought I'd never get him. When I finally did, from the very first kiss, he took over my heart and my soul. He was my everything. I would go to the ends of the Earth for him. So the few hundred miles to Atlanta would be nothing. Because I refused to let this end. It had taken me so long to get it, I would fight to the death to keep it.
I glance over at Kris and see him staring down at his shoes. I nudge him in the leg, and he lifts his eyes to meet mine. He smiles softly, but his eyes are embattled with worry. I bring his hand to my mouth, and kiss it softly. I smiled at him, and he took a deep breath.
"Even if it goes down in a bad way today," He started, turning to face me. "We're going to get through it. He may put us apart by distance, but I'll be damned if he puts us apart any other way,"
The determination in his eyes brought a smile to my face. He'd just affirmed with words what I'd been thinking all along. He was just as determined as I was to make it work, and that worked to quell my nerves. If we were both this willing to make things work, then there were almost no reasons why they shouldn't. I'd bounced around so much the last couple days on how I should feel about this. Should I be scared? Or angry? Or feel helpless? Or absolutely positive that things would turn out okay? None of those were really right. But none of them were really wrong, either. It was a mix of all of those feelings, and that's where I was now. I was still nervous, angry, more helpless than I ever cared to feel. But, I was positive. Not positive that everything would turn out okay. But positive in knowing that at least, we wouldn't go down without a fight.
I leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. "I love you, Kris," I told him as I pulled away.
"I love you, too," He replied with a smile.
"Oh, isn't that just the sweetest thing,"
My entire body tensed as I heard the voice. I looked into Kris' eyes and saw nothing but rage. I turned around slowly, and my hands clenched involuntarily as I saw Sergei walking up. I stand up from the table, and Kris hopped up behind me. Sergei picked a very bad to show up here. I don't think either one of us would hesitate to kill him right now and shove him into one of the trash cans. We could always take off before Kenny showed up and pretend we were never here. Sergei is an asshole, we can't be his only enemies.
"The two fags out enjoying a nice day in the park, how romantic," He scoffed, walking closer.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Kris asked through gritted teeth, stepping in front of me.
Sergei laughed and walked past us, sitting at the table we'd just vacated. "I'm here to see you fags say good bye,"
He kicked his legs out and rested his hands behind his head. He looked so smug and arrogant, it took every ounce of strength I had not to run over there and strangle him. I could tell the same thing held true for Kris. I turned to him and placed my hands on his shoulders. He kept his eyes on Sergei, and it took me grabbing him by the chin to bring his eyes to mine. He looked at me pleadingly, almost begging me to move out of the way and let him at Sergei. As much as I would like to see that, it wouldn't do us a whole lot of good. I frowned at him sadly, and shook my head. He smiled softly and grazed his hand down my cheek. He glared over my shoulder at Sergei, and I felt his hand slip around my waist. A devilish smirk came across his face, and before I know it, our lips were pressed together. We kissed deeper and sloppier than we really needed to, putting on a grand show for Sergei. Kris obviously had the same idea I did; you may be breaking us apart, but we're going to shove it down your throat while we still have the chance. I could hear Sergei mumbling behind us, and I made a lavish sweep into Kris' mouth with my tongue. He reciprocated, and we broke apart out of breath, and with huge grins on our faces.
"When we have to say good bye, you'll be lucky if we don't fuck right in front of you," I hissed, grabbing Kris' ass for extra affect.
"Do it and watch me string you up like all fags deserve," He growled in return, glaring at the two of us.
"You'll do what?" A voice shouted from beside us.
All three of our heads whipped to the left, and were met with a glare from Ken Holland. For the first time since I'd known him, he wasn't in a suit. He wore a blue and grey jogging suit, but still had a briefcase with him. I don't know how much he saw, or heard, but he didn’t look too thrilled with any of us. He walked over to the table and dropped his briefcase down. The second he flipped it open, my heart began to thud. Our future was contained in the contents of that case. My palms were beginning to sweat, and I wiped them absently on my jeans. My eyes were locked on Kenny as he fumbled with papers inside the case. I could hear Sergei snicker, and I felt Kris grab my hand. That snapped me from my trance, and my eyes flashed to his.
"I love you," He whispered, squeezing my hand.
Before even answering him, my eyes darted to Kenny. He was no longer looking through the briefcase; his eyes were transfixed on my and Kris' joined hands. This was the first time Kenny had ever seen us together, and the paranoia quickly took over. If even for a second he had thought about not trading one of us, seeing this probably changed his mind. There was no way Sergei would've told him, so seeing us holding hands had to come as a shock to him. He was such an unreadable guy, it was impossible to gauge his reaction. But in my typical way of thinking, I only assumed the worst.
In nervousness, I tried to yank my hand away, but Kris held on firmly. I looked into his eyes, and instantly my nervousness was drained away. There was such a strong look of love in his eyes. Without words, I was brought back to that secure feeling. In only minutes, we could be pulled apart. Sergei will have gotten his wish, and one of us would be on our way to a new team. But with just a look in Kris' eyes, I was reminded that it wasn’t the end of the world. We may be pulled apart, but it wasn't the end. The only people who had the power to end this were we, and neither of us planned to do it. I glanced back to Ken, then returned my eyes to Kris. I smiled at him brightly, and his eyes lit up.
"I love you too," I whispered happily, squeezing his hand.
Sergei snickered again, and I found myself rolling my eyes. Kris’ hand tensed in mine, and he glared hatefully at Sergei. I squeezed his hand softly, and his eyes fixed on me. There was an obvious pain in his eyes, and it twisted my gut to see it. But beyond the pain there was such an air of strength, I was mesmerized. I could see how this hurt him, having to sit back and let Sergei win. And in truth, it hurt me just as bad. But he was so strong, in the face of adversity he stood tall. It would be impossible to not be, but in this very moment, I had never been more proud that Kris Draper was my boyfriend.
Ken cleared his voice, snapping our attention to him. He motioned us toward the table with his hand, and hand in hand, Kris and I walked over. We sat opposite from Sergei, glaring at him when he turned to us with a smirk. Ken scowled at us, and rubbed his forehead. He stood up from the table, and walked to the front of the pavilion, a folder in hand. My pulse began to race. This was it.
"Now, I asked you all here for a reason," Ken stated, pacing back and forth in front of us. "I'm sure you all know the situation, and that’s what I'm here to address,"
The way he was talking, and pacing back and forth almost felt like I was playing pee wee hockey again, watching the coach make cuts. The irony of that thought was not lost on me. That's essentially what was happening here. The only difference was what we were being cut for. I took a deep breath and felt my body shake. Kris noticed, and turned to me. He mouthed the words "We'll be okay,' and rubbed my hand with his thumb. I smiled at him softly, and turned my eyes back to Ken as he resumed his speech.
"I haven't slept for a week," He explained, glancing at the three of us. "I knew from the beginning that this was a complicated situation, I just didn't know how so until today,"
He stopped and leaned against a rail. His eyes focused on Kris and I, and I felt my palms start to sweat.
"Kris," He started, sending my mind into panic.
'Oh no,' I thought to myself. 'He started with him. I don't know if I'm going to make it through this without crying like a baby.'
"You've been with this team for almost ten years," Ken resumed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You've been a huge part of the success of this team. And your attitude has helped make this team a friendly and enjoyable place for all involved,"
'Just say but,' I thought to myself again. 'Just please say it, I can't take this much longer,' Kris stared at Kenny, and slowly nodded his head. To my shock, Ken smiled. Then, his eyes turned to me. I gulped, and felt Kris immediately squeeze my hand.
"Kirk. For the last six years, you've been a vital part of this team. Without your efforts on penalty kill, we wouldn't have the success we do, especially this past season,"
I couldn't help but smile that my efforts had been noticed. But still, terror thudded in my chest.
"And personally, you're on of the nicest people I've ever known,"
'Where’s the but? There was no but with Kris, there has to be one with me.' I stared at Kenny and marveled at how tired he looked. He may've been telling the truth when he said he hadn't slept in a week. But honestly, that was the least of my worries. I just wanted this over with. It couldn't be healthy for my heart to be beating this fast. I took a deep breath and nodding in understanding. He smiled, and slowly his eyes traveled to Sergei. 'Sergei?' I asked myself. 'What could he possibly have to say to him? If this turns into the Russian Worship hour, there are seriously going to be problems.'
"Sergei, what can I say about you? You've been quite possibly the biggest reason for the success of this team,"
Oh God, I cannot sit through much more of this.
"For 12 years, you've been a force to be reckoned with for this team, and helped us to some of the best years in Red Wings history, and for that I thank you,"
This was really becoming too much for me. Maybe I could go home, and he could just call and tell me what his decision was. I turned to Sergei, and that ever present smug look was even brighter than usual on his face. I felt anger bubble beneath my skin. I was more than ready to jump across the table and kick his ass, until I heard Kenny speak.
"But frankly,"
But? Why does he get the but?
"You're an asshole, and not something we need associated with this team. If you want to go to Minnesota, you've got your wish. As of 5:30 this afternoon, you were traded to Minnesota," He took a deep breath and glared at Sergei. "Stacy Roest is coming back here, the way it should be. Your plane leaves tomorrow morning, have a nice flight," He said angrily, tossing the folder he'd been carrying in front of Sergei.
I watched the proceedings in shock. I could not believe my ears. Had he really traded Sergei to Minnesota? For...Stacy? I turned my eyes from Sergei and looked at Kenny. There was an overwhelming look of disgust in his eyes, directed straight at Sergei. I couldn't believe it. I was...dumbfounded. I'd thought about what would happen when this day came a million times, and this scenario had never crossed my mind. I couldn't even react appropriately, however that may be. I was too much in shock. I thought for sure we'd be pulled apart today, and we'd been left together. I...I just couldn't believe this.
I took my eyes from Kenny and glanced back to Sergei. He stared at the papers in shock, and I snickered under my breath. He looked over at me, and I don't know where it came from, but I smiled. He glared at me, and stood up from the table.
"You fucking fags! I'll fucking kill you," He screamed, throwing the folder down onto the table.
Kris was on his feet in an instant. I tried to get to mine, but before I even had the chance to, Ken jumped in between the two of them. He put his hand on Kris' chest, restraining him forcelessly, and glared at Sergei.
"You even try it, and I'll make sure the only league you play for is a beer league," He spoke firmly, eyes locked with Sergei's.
The two exchanged glares for at least a minute. I got to my feet and stood next to Kris, still in that dumbfounded state. This was so much to process. I had so many questions, but I don't think I could even talk right now if I tried. I was not prepared for this in even the minutest of ways. I never expected to be standing here, watching our GM engage in a stare down with our star player. I still wasn't sure how to react. But I was starting to get an urge to make out with Kris.
"You're going to regret this Holland, I promise," Sergei growled, storming away from the pavilion.
All three of us watched him walk away. When he was out of our sight, we all turned to each other. This was unbelievable. Sergei had been the one traded. Not me, not Kris, but Sergei. None of my worries had come true. We were standing together in shock, instead of clinging to each other in despair like I'd expected. All my praying had paid off. I turned to Kris with a smile, and he reached down and grabbed my hand. We stared at each in that annoying (to everyone else) way we do, until Kenny clearing his voice broke out attention. We turned to him with an innocent smile, and he shook his head.
"You two together, what did we ever do to deserve that?" He asked with a laugh, walking back to where his briefcase sat.
Kris and I burst into giggles and leaned against each other. It was a huge relief to be able to laugh like this, about that. When you're gay in any profession, you worry about what your boss would say. And today, we'd more or less erected a billboard that said "Hey Kenny, we’re gay!" I was more than a little worried (okay, I was totally freaked) about it until I looked into Kris' eyes, and then everything stopped mattering. But nonetheless, I was thankful that he apparently was cool with it.
"Listen, guys," Kenny spoke after our giggles slowed down. "I want to apologize for whatever trouble he caused you two. If I had known it all sooner, I would've put a stop to it a lot quicker," He explained, picking up his briefcase and tucking it under his arm.
Kris nodded and took his hand from mine. He walked up to Kenny, and the two shook hands. He clapped Kenny on the shoulder, and Kenny patted his cheek with a laugh.
"I can't thank you enough, Kenny," Kris said seriously, leaving his hand on Ken's shoulder.
"Don't thank me, thank Darren," He replied, shaking his head. "Without him, I wouldn't have known enough to do the right thing,"
I walked up to him and looked at him questioningly. "Darren?" I asked, shaking his hand.
He grinned at me, then walked away toward the edge of the pavilion. When he reached it, he turned to us and smiled. With a "I'll see you BOTH at camp," he walked away, leaving us pondering just what involvement our best friend had in all of this. I can't say I was surprised to hear it, I knew he'd do something. And as much as I didn't want him to, I loved him even more for it now. If I had to have someone looking out for me, I couldn't pick a better person. I'd never be able to say how thankful I was to have him as a friend.
Once Kenny was out of our sight, I felt myself lifted into the air and pressed against a rail. Kris drove his lips heatedly onto mine, and I submitted completely to his kisses. Our hands roamed each other's bodies, and our tongues wrestled passionately. I knew now this was the appropriate reaction. It took a bit to get past the shock, but eventually I wound up in the ecstatic happiness where I needed to be. All of the worrying I'd done had been for nothing. Things had turned out the way I’d hoped in the end, we were still together.
We eventually broke our kisses and collapsed against each other, out of breath. Kris purred and bit at my neck, coaxing a giggly squeal out of me. He giggled, and I ran my fingers through his hair.
"God baby, this is so great!" He said excitedly, grinning from ear to ear.
I nodded enthusiastically and our lips met again. "Love you," I told him, following it up with another kiss.
"Love you more," He giggled, burying his face back in my neck.
"We should go home. There are a few people who deserve phone calls," I explained, giggling as he kissed at my collar bone.
He pulled off my neck and smiled at me. He grabbed my hand, and pulled me from the rail, and right into a hug. I slipped my arms around him, and laid my head on his shoulder. He rubbed his hands slowly up my back, and I placed a soft kiss to his neck, making him shiver. I chuckled quietly at him, and he kissed my forehead.
"We should walk home," He said, pulling away from the hug. "It's a beautiful day, and I think we’re a bit too giddy to drive,"
I nodded and grabbed his hand. We walked from the pavilion and onto the dirt path. We walked along in silence, both of us back off in our own little world's. I had to find some way to thank Kenny. Send him a fruit basket, or flowers or something. What do you send your GM to say thank you for saving your homo relationship? I don't know, but I had to do something, because I'd never be able to say with words how thankful I was. It wouldn't have been the end for us if one of us were traded, but I'm still not too sure how well I would've handled it. Kenny may say to thank Darren, and I would, but to me, he was still the savior. He'd killed my biggest fear. And for that, I'd be eternally grateful.
When we neared the park exit, Kris stopped dead in his tracks. I looked at him with raised eyebrow, and he put his hand up with a "shh."
"Do you hear that?" He whispered, letting go of my hand and walking off the path.
I watched him in bewilderment. I hadn't heard a thing, so I had no clue what he was doing. I watched him walk over to a row of bushes and crouch down in front of them. He stared into the bushes, then turned back to me.
"Come here," He whispered, motioning me over with a finger.
I shrugged my shoulders and stepped off the path to join him. When I walked up, something tiny and grey crawled from the bushes. A quiet sound broke the silence, and I realized immediately the grey ball of fur was a kitten. It walked drunkenly up to Kris, and he laid his hand on the ground in front of it. I crouched down beside him and watched the kitten crawl cautiously into his hand. It was barely bigger than his palm, only the tail extended past his fingertips. It meowed quietly, and Kris turned to me with a sad frown.
"Its momma is on the other side of the bushes," He whispered, jerking his head toward the bushes.
I looked into the bushes, and the hunches I'd had when I'd seen how tiny the kitten was were confirmed. I looked at Kris sadly and stuck, my hand out toward the kitten. It bit weakly at my finger, which got a quiet "aww" from the both of us.
"We can't leave it here," I whispered.
"I was hoping you'd say that," Kris said with a smile.
I smiled at him and leaned over for a kiss. As our lips met, the kitten meowed, breaking us apart with a giggle. I slowly rose to my feet and extended my hand down to Kris. He grabbed it, and I yanked him to his feet. We snuck a quick kiss, not giving the kitten time to interrupt. When we separated, I smiled at Kris, and petted the kitten’s back.
"Looks like we got ourselves a cat?" He asked as we walked back onto the path.
I smiled at him and nodded my head. "Looks like it,"
"What should we name him?"
Much like it had with Junior, a name hit me almost immediately. I stopped on the path, and stared down at the tiny ball of fur in Kris' hand. It meowed up at me, tiny yellow eyes shining in the setting sun. I smiled, and petted it's head with my finger. Today, with all that happened, there was only one name that would do.
"K-Mac," I said simply, staring into Kris' eyes.
He smiled brightly and nodded his head. "I like that,"
We shared another quick kiss, then started back up the path. A comfortable silence fell over us, interrupted only occasionally by soft little meows. It just seemed fitting to me that we found this little fuzzball today, of all the days that I spend in this park. It hit me the second Kris asked for a name, there was a reason we'd found him today, and there was only one name, or rather a combination of names that would work for this little guy. K-Mac was the perfect choice in my eyes. Because now, every time we saw him, we'd be reminded of the two people who did more for us than they'd ever know. And while name a cat after them wasn't even close to displaying our gratitude, it was a good start.
This was the start of a lot of new things. I didn't know what the future held for Kris and I. But after everything we'd been through already, and with our biggest worry gone, something told me it was all good. We were only days away from starting on another season, that held just as much, if not more promise than last year. We had caring friends, and family who'd go to bat for us even when we asked them not to, as was proven today. And now, we had a new little kitty to love. And just staring at the little ball of fur, I could tell he'd hold my heart just as captive as the beautiful man carrying him. But you know what? In both cases, my heart was a willing prisoner.
My captive heart
(He holds the keys to these emotions)
My willing soul
(let me drown in this ocean)
And I carry the flame
Like I did from the start
As long as he's callin', callin'
My captive heart.
THE END
© 2002 Triple X
