__________BoB__________

Once upon a time, there was a little Spanish Flea who
lived in Bananaland with Nuts and the Elephants....
Actually, he wasn't a flea. And he wasn't Spanish either.
He was a 3-inch tall invisible man, and I'm pretty sure he was Canadian.
They played Red Rover and Duck, Duck, Goose all day with 
the geese that those damn yankees stole. They also played 
Hackey Sack and watched Degrassi Jr. High to pass the time. 

His name was Bob Chico-ma and he lived in a big house 
on Little Bob Dr. with Joe, Ted, Chuck, Doug, Charlie, and SIR. 
They all had LBCS (which they got from smelly markers in History class), 
and therefore had little co-ordination, resulting in events such as 
the ice-bucket incident in New York, but we won't talk about that.

Bob's life began in High School. 
He went to Dr. John M. Denison Secondary School in 
Newmarket, Ontario, Canada. We'll start at the beginning.

Grade nine was an interesting year. He went to a leadership 
conference and met Mr. Masculinity and played a hugging game. 
He quite enjoyed that. And then he went to Paramount 
Canada's Wonderland and met Cindy on Thunder Run with Brad. 

He went to the Sound-A-Thon that year and stayed up all night 
singing Kareoke in the music room. He's a pretty loud little guy, 
but not quite loud enough. Apparently, Brad's 'Korn on the Kazoo' 
covered him up. But boy, could he play the triangle.... 
In fact, a couple years down the road, he was a triangle boy for Syke... 
but I'm getting ahead of myself.

In Grade 10, he went to music camp in Muskoka. 
He got all wet on the tubing run, and participated in the 
annual bondage dinner. He got mad 'cause he didn't get 
to sit beside Jani. But at least he got to eat Whip Cream. 
He liked to eat. He liked Burgers, Joe Louis, peanuts, 
peeztha, cheese, pez, and yogurt. But not potatoes.

There were lots of parties that year, especially birthday parties. 
And where there are birthday parties, there are water fights. 
But water fights lead to hypothermia. Bob got hypothermia. 
And he fell off the ladder trying to climb into his house.

Bob was really creative. He liked to write songs. 
He even wrote his own version of Jump Around -  
Pink Elephant Style... He also made up his own alphabet. 
Actually, it was just a new way of "writing" the alphabet. 
And he made up many, many dances, like the mosquito dance, 
and the *dying* beetle, and one to Rockefellar Skank - 
that was his favourite one. Mine too.

Bob liked to tell jokes. For example: 
what's the difference between a lesbian and a cracker? 
...yeah, Julia didn't get it either. [email me for the answer]. 
Bob tells stories too, and they all start with "We were drinking 
in Barrie..." and end with "...and we were chased for 45 minutes." 
Bob leads an interesting life.

When he turned 16, he went to Young Drivers, and his 
instructor's name was Bob. And one day he went to Much Music 
and met Bill and sat on the Spice Girl couch and saw Everlast. 
And he saw winking Ben at Edgefest with the killer-super bunnies.

Grade 11 was a great year, although it went by pretty fast. 
Bob learned a lot that year, through English Class discussions, and 
Mr. Olsen's wisdom in Musical Theatre. That was his favourite class ever. 
But his favourite teacher of all time was Mr. Crone. (grade 6 @ HLPS)

Bob was a member of the DDSS, an organization dedicated to 
the protection of the one and only, Mr. President. 
That and avoiding things, such as Llamas and pear-shaped people. 
He was also involved in the DMC and the NOC. 
He was the mascot of the DMC - a bird. Bob the bird. 
It was a pretty big job, especially for a flea.

Bob was an active member of the school band. He not only played
the triangle, but he sat on the stands and turned pages for other band
members. He liked to run away during and/or after band, though.
It got quite annoying sometimes. He often hid on top of the lockers, 
or by the pay phones. He ran away a lot. Almost every day.

Once, Bob went to Cleveland. That was fun. 
It was a long bus ride and the VCR broke and Bob got mad. 
He was also mad because he had to sleep in a smelly dorm 
with no TV. Luckily, the hotel was nice. And he bought a 
weird hat at the Science Centre and laughed at a lady 
running down the street on the way to the Symphony, which 
was good, but really boring. He also went to Cedar Point 
Amusement Park that week. Cindy was there, and they went on 
the ferris wheel and got really scared. It was pretty funny.

Bob died one day. Actually, no, he didn't. People just thought he did. 
Maybe he'd just run away again. Who knows? With Bob, many things
are a mystery. Because Bob's a mysterious guy. Heck, he's invisible!
He's a really great guy, too. Kind of annoying and sometimes obnoxious, 
but he's really nice once you get to know him. And really, really funny!

Anyway, I hope you like Bob, and enjoy the website. Please, feel free to
look around, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE email Bob. He'd love that.=)

And that's my story.

Love,

   Bob