Author's Note: Yeah, even I'm not evil enough to leave you all hanging there for long. This one's a bit angstier than usual, though, 'cause honestly who wouldn't be sad not that all the hot Spike luvin' is gone? I know I'm sad...

Previously: Buffy and Spike discovered that they were madly, desperately in love while Jonathan's 'Superstar' spell was in effect. Said spell broke in the last chapter, and suddenly they realized that were archenemies. This put a serious hamper on the smootchies. They got into a huge fight, said nasty things -- you know the drill. And then Spike ran off, leaving poor Buffy with Riley *ugh!*...

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief when Riley took her excuse that she was worn out at face value and departed. Although she could have lived without the quick peck on the lips… Something about his kiss just felt…revolting to her. She mentally slapped herself for being so mean and then changed her mind. She was just being truthful, after all, and not lying to herself was definitely of the good.

Willow was silent the entire way into the dorm. She fiddled with the keys to their room for a second before opening the door, flicking on the lights, and depositing Spike’s duster on the chair by Buffy’s computer.

Buffy stepped into the room nervously, memories of what she would have called the best night of her life only a few hours ago nearly overwhelming her. Her bedding was still messed up, but fortunately she’d never been big on making her bed so Willow didn’t even notice. She silently thanked Spike’s presence of mind last night that he’d opened the windows and allowed the scent of sex to be aired out of the room.

With a wistful sigh, she shut and bolted the door behind her and began to slip out of her clothes and into her pajamas.

Willow mirrored her actions, biting her lip and occasionally glancing up until Buffy couldn’t take it anymore.

“What is it, Wills?” Buffy asked, sitting on the edge of her bed tentatively. Here, she could still smell him, feel the cool silk of his skin as he moved beneath the sheets with her, hear his husky voice thick with his accent as he whispered his love to her… Get a grip, Buffy! She mentally slapped herself. Vampire plus Slayer equals BAD!

“A-About what happened?” Willow picked up a bit of the stuttering habit she’d lost years back over the awkwardness of this situation.

Buffy just looked at her expectantly.

Willow took a deep breath. “Are you all right, Buffy?” she finally asked. “I mean, I know you and Spike…” She trailed off, her face flaming bright red. “And I figured you might not want to talk about it with Riley there…”

Buffy managed to let out a snort of laughter at that. “Definitely not able to handle Riley right now,” she agreed with a small smile.

“And I can so get that,” Willow agreed. “After all, you and Spike did…” gulp, “…have sex…” The last two words were whispered as if this were the biggest secret in the world.

Buffy sighed and collapsed back on her mattress. Her pillow really smelled like him: smoke and leather and that delicious spicy, male Spike scent… “Not sex,” she whispered softly into her pillow, inhaling deeply and remembering their night here together in excruciating detail.

Willow, blissfully unaware of the associations Buffy held with that bed and that pillow, frowned slightly. “What?” she asked, confused.

“Spike and I didn’t have sex…” Buffy repeated, a little louder.

“Oh!” Willow flushed with embarrassment. “But the tracking spell shorted out and—”

“…We made love,” the Slayer clarified, rolling onto her back and staring up at the ceiling. She pulled the blanket up over herself, and she could almost imagine that its weight was that of a cool, muscular arm wrapped lazily around her waist…

“Oh!” Willow exclaimed. Then her brow furrowed. “Oh…god… Buffy, I’m…sorry?” She lay on her side on her own bed, uncertain if this was the right response.

She managed to give the witch a small smile. “Thanks,” she sighed deeply, taking the cool night air into her lungs and holding it there for a minute, remembering his cool breath against hers. “It’s all right, though,” she added with false confidence. “It was never meant to be, and now it’s not anymore. So everything’s just peachy again.”

Willow just lay there quietly for a minute, trying to decipher her best friend’s behavior. “You mean you just…don’t anymore?” she finally asked, more than a little unconvinced.

“No,” Buffy insisted too quickly, too vehemently. She laughed nervously. “Spell, right? No real feelings there…”

“But the purpose of the spell wasn’t to make you l-love him,” Willow tripped over the vital word in that sentence, her face coloring once again, “not like when I…er, accidentally got the two of you engaged. This was just a side-effect.”

“Purpose, side-effect, whatever!” Buffy insisted. “There’s nothing there!”

“OK,” Willow said quickly, wide-eyed and obviously still not quite believing Buffy. “It’s just that I know if it were me, and suddenly there was spell with feelings and nakedness, and then it went away…”

“What do you want me to say?” Buffy asked wearily, resigned to the fact that she couldn’t get out of this conversation. Hell, she’d never been able to fool Willow anyway. “That I love him?”

“Do you?” Willow persisted nervously. Hearing that her best friend had fallen for another vampire wasn’t exactly on her list of top ten fun things to do on a Friday night.

Buffy’s jaw clenched, and her eyes went cold. “He’s a vampire,” she said confidently, “I’m the Slayer. I could never love him.” She cast a nervous glance to where Spike’s duster rested over the back of her computer chair and could almost, almost imagine that he’d just stepped out for a second and was coming right back…

“You can’t,” Willow nodded. “I understand. But do you?”

“My feelings are irrelevant,” Buffy’s voice shook slightly despite her determination to stay strong, and a lone tear slipped down her face. “I have a sacred duty.”

“Oh, Buffy!” Willow exclaimed in shared anguish and sympathy. “I’m so, so sorry…”

Buffy tried to laugh, but it came out as a muffled sob instead. “Yeah, well, so am I. But it doesn’t change anything. Doesn’t change the fact that I—oh god!”

She burst out into tears, and Willow was at her side in a second, holding her and crying as well over loves that were so perfect they could never be…

Anya leaned against the stone wall and yawned as Xander paced back and forth in front of her indecisively.

“This is stupid,” he muttered to himself for the umpteenth time. “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. I’m making an ass out of my self. I’ve got to be out of my mind.”

“Starting to agree with you on that last one…” Anya commented, rolling her eyes and taking another chewy bite off of her granola bar.

“I shouldn’t be here,” Xander decided for the hundredth time.

“ ‘But what if you’re right’,” Anya quoted, having learned this rant by heart over the past few hours.

“But what if I’m right?” Xander managed to remain completely oblivious to his girlfriend’s extreme boredom. “Things can’t just end like…that, can they?”

“Argh!” Anya finally cried out in frustration. “Is this a human thing, or something? Worrying pointlessly about the same thing for hours and hours on end? Because it’s stupid!”

Xander looked at her, wide-eyed and properly chastised.

“Now, just go in there and do it!” she exclaimed, pointing resolutely to the door. “Now, before I go insane, too!”

“You know,” Xander commented softly, taking in her flushed cheeks and fiery eyes, “I kinda love you…”

Anya’s eyes softened instantly, and she gave him a sultry little smile. “Well, maybe it can wait a little bit,” she teased, pulling him back into the bushes…

“What about Riley?” Willow asked, back on her own bed again so that she wouldn’t muffle the sacred scent of Spike, watching Buffy absentmindedly pet the black leather duster the vampire had left behind.

Buffy grimaced. “So don’t want to think about him…” She buried her face in the soft, worn black leather and was suddenly very glad she’d ‘fessed up to Willow. Otherwise, this wonderful little reminder of him would by necessity be halfway across the room.

“You’re gonna have to, though,” Willow pointed out. “He’ll probably call bright and early tomorrow morning.”

“Ugh,” Buffy groaned. “Didn’t anyone ever tell that boy not to call a Slayer before noon?”

“Probably not,” Willow felt compelled to respond.

“Well, how about a college student then? You’re not supposed to call them before noon, either.”

“You’ve got me there,” Willow said with a small smile.

“Of course, does the Great Riley realize this? No! He assumes everyone else leaps out of bed at the stroke of five like he does and starts off their day with a healthy does of vitamins, push-ups, and Wheeties…because that’s sooo much fun…”

“OK, I think I’m sensing a bit of Riley-hostility here,” Willow joked lightly.

“More like a huge, heaping pile of Riley-hostility with gravy on top,” Buffy sulked. “He shot me, Will. He used that taser on me, like I was nothing. And this is after he sleeps with Faith while she’s in my body and doesn’t even notice! I’m starting to think me and Riley…”

“Not of the good?” Willow suggested.

“Of the bad,” Buffy agreed. “Of the phenomenally boring. Of the if you talk down to me one more time I’ll rip your throat out.”

“He is a bit…superior sometimes,” Willow agreed. “But I thought, sparkage?”

“No sparkage,” Buffy sighed. “Negative on the sparkage. Big positive on the feeling pressured to fake sparkage…”

“Buffy!” Willow said in surprise. “You should never have to fake—”

“But you liked him so much,” Buffy insisted, “and he was nice and normal and everything that I was supposed to want. Everything that Angel said I was supposed to want…”

“So now you’re choosing your boyfriends based off of Angel’s opinion?” Willow snorted derisively. “Way to live constantly in your ex’s shadow, Buff.”

“But that’s why he left,” Buffy insisted, “so that I could have a normal life with a normal guy…”

“And you tried it, and guess what?” Willow responded, matter-of-factly. “You don’t like the normal guys. You go straight for the supernatural one. Hell, I can’t say that I blame you. I’ve got a little thing for those of the supernatural persuasion as well. In fact, that pretty much is normal on the Hellmouth.” She let a wicked little smile curl across her lips that was strangely reminiscent of Vamp Willow. “Plus, Spike’s got a sexy bod that would stop a charging elephant at fifty paces.”

“Willow!” Buffy shrieked with horror, covering her hands with her face and blushing a deep maroon color.

Willow couldn’t help but chuckle evilly over her ability to tease her best friend about her latest love interest.

“What a minute!” Buffy’s head shot up when she was through being mortified. “When did you get to see Spike’s sexy bod?!”

“Should’ve been at Giles’ when Spike ran in with the Initiative homing transmitter in his back,” Willow gave her a sly grin. “Shirtless Spike… It was almost enough to make me go for g—er, that kind of thing.” The young witch blushed a bit and hoped Buffy didn’t notice the slip-up about her newfound lesbianism.

Fortunately, the Slayer was reliving several of her own pleasant memories at the moment. “He is kinda…er, gorgeous, isn’t he?” she finally spit out, completely embarrassed that this was Spike she was talking about. “And you wouldn’t believe how good a kisser he is…”

“Well, I suppose you pick that up after a hundred and twenty years,” Willow agreed with a girlish giggle. It had been a long time since they’d talked boys like this.

“Oh, he picked up more than that,” Buffy winked at her. Then her eyes got this far away look, and a wave of nostalgia ran over her. “He would do this little thing, y’know?” she began fondly. “He would nuzzle into my hair, and he’d make the sweetest little noise. It was like a gasping breath and a purr and a growl all at once, and it made me just want to…” She gulped and fought back another round of tears.

“What?” Willow pressed softly.

“Hold him forever…”

“Spike?” Xander called out warily as he threw the door to the crypt open finally…and after much persuasion from Anya.

Anya straightened her blouse a bit and walked right past him into the crypt.

“Spike?” Xander repeated before shaking his head. “I don’t think he’s here…”

Anya sighed. “You’ve got to stop falling for all the ‘vampire prey’ tricks, sweetie,” she informed him. “He’s right over there.”

Xander squinted into the darkness where she pointed for a moment. He was about to say that she was seeing things, when his focus finally seemed to make the darkness fade away, and there was the peroxide vampire, plain as day.

“Oh, bugger!” Spike groaned when he saw that his supernatural cover had been blown. He decided to go for offensive and rude – always a good bet – and swaggered into view, taking a deep swig of whiskey as he did so. “Sorry, Whelp,” he scowled at the two intruders, “but ‘f you and your li’l demon bint here are lookin’ for a nice, dirty hole to get you kinks out, you’ll ‘ave to go to some place uninhabited.”

“We’re not here for that,” Xander snapped back instinctively. “We’re looking for you.”

“Oh, a threesome now, is it?” Spike said with a wicked leer. “Too bad I missed the warm-up outside jus’ now…”

Anya’s eyes widened at the thought, and she licked her lips tentatively, noticing not for the first time just how good-looking Spike really was. “Xander?” she asked curiously.

“No!” Xander exclaimed in exasperation, looking back and forth between the demon and former demon with mild annoyance. “This isn’t about sex!”

“But I thought it was about sex,” Anya countered. “You said we had to come over here and discuss all the sex that’s been going on lately, so—”

“Ahn,” Xander cut her off before one of their baser urges derailed the conversation again.

“Right,” Anya nodded with resigned understanding.

“Well now, innit this fun?” Spike rolled his eyes and sat down on the stone sarcophagus since someone had destroyed his only chair… Not that he really minded, though. Just sitting here reminded him of their time together: reading the books they’d stolen, teasing and joking, thighs and arms casually brushing, all friendly and false innocence and all those other things he’d never had a chance to experience and was now aching for. He shook himself out of his introspection and put the cocky grin back on his face. “Better than a sitcom…”

“Spike,” Xander said sternly, “about the spell and the thing with Buffy…”

Spike sighed and lit up a cigarette. “This it, then? You gonna stake me ‘cause another spell went wonky? Or maybe you’re jus’ gonna stake me on principle?”

“Spike!” Xander hissed in irritation. It really was a constant effort not to throttle the vampire when he decided to be annoying.

“Whelp,” he replied evenly.

Xander suddenly found himself unable to speak. This just wasn’t the sort of thing you said to a formerly homicidal vampire that had tried to kill you on multiple occasions.

Luckily, Anya wasn’t bothered by the awkwardness of this situation in the least. Xander knew there had always been a reason why he loved her.

“Xander’s worried that you fell in love with Buffy while you were under that spell,” she explained with characteristic bluntness, “and that you still are now. So, now that the spell’s over and Buffy’s no longer hanging out with you, you’ll either get really depressed and try to stake yourself or you’ll go off the evil deep end and find a way to try to kill everyone again.” She flashed Xander a bright smile after having managed to convey everything that it would take a guy several years to say in only a few seconds.

“Uh…yeah,” Xander said, nervously running his fingers through his hair. “Except less with the ‘worried about you’ and more with the ‘uh-oh, he’s not going to try to kill us, is he?’,” he amended, preserving his manly pride.

Spike was strangely quiet throughout all this, absentmindedly taking drags off his cigarette.

“So…yeah!” Xander looked at Spike, expecting some kind of reaction.

The vampire merely snorted. “ ‘Fell in love’? Please. Like I give a damn one way or another ‘bout…” He trailed off at the expression on Xander’s face and remembered that Xander had caught the two of them at their most lovey-dovey. He turned to look away abruptly, afraid of what the human would read in his eyes.

“Uh-huh,” Xander finally said when it seemed clear that Spike had no intention of finishing that thought. “That’s funny, y’know? ‘Cause when I saw the two of you in that cave…”

“Oh, bloody hell!” Spike threw his hands up in the air in exasperation, already bored with the lie he’d just concocted. “Yes, ‘m in love with your stupid Slayer! Happy now? Stake away!”

There was silence for a minute.

Finally, Spike nervously opened one eye, not even having been aware of the fact that he’d closed them in anticipation of his dusty demise.

Anya pulled another granola bar out of her pocket and began chewing it, looking back and forth between the two men curiously. “This is getting boring,” she commented, taking another bite and savoring the raisin she’d just bitten into. She turned to Xander. “Say something,” she ordered.

“I-I-I…” This had all worked out a lot better in Xander’s head. Actually, Xander hadn’t bothered to work it out in his head at all beforehand. He’d just dived right in out of some strange, bizarre sense of…not-worry. Yeah, that was it. Not-worry over Spike. And the vampire’s admission had kicked the not-worry up another several notches.

“Close your mouth, Harris,” Spike snarked. “You look like a bleedin’ flounder.”

Xander’s jaw shut with an audible snap. He desperately tried to come up with something to say to his former reluctant roommate that wouldn’t seriously piss him off. That pretty much ruled out any expression of sympathy. “She looked happy,” he finally settled on a choice after not too much thought.

Spike quirked an eyebrow at him in response.

“I didn’t see much,” Xander said a bit more confidently, “but she looked happy.”

“Yeah,” Spike said with a bitter smile, flicking away his cigarette and grinding it out with the toe of his boot.

“I really hate spells,” Xander sighed.

“Me, too,” Spike agreed softly. “Me, too…”

Buffy rolled over onto the pile of pillows and blankets against the wall and shut her eyes tight, trying to imagine that it was him beside her. The feel of his leather duster against her inner thigh helped, but still…

Her bed had never felt so cold before. And it was ridiculous; he didn’t even have any body heat. All there was was the heat that he reflected back off of her. But, oh that heat…

By the time they’d woken up, he’d been completely warmed by her embrace throughout the night, and he felt so, so good against her…

Spike awoke with a strangled cry as he fell over the edge of his sarcophagus onto the stone floor. Fourth time tonight, he realized wearily, cursing and climbing back up onto his makeshift bed.

The problem was the dream. The one where the Slayer was lying right beside him in bed, and he would reach out of her but she wouldn’t be there, so he’d keep reaching further and inching over until it was floor time again.

“Bloody hell,” he groaned and lay on his back. He dared to close his eyes once more, and already the images of their one night together flooded his mind.

“What’ve you done to me, Buffy?” he asked the empty darkness of his crypt, her absence a palpable pain in his chest…

“I miss you so much, Spike,” she whispered softly, burying her head in the soft leather of his jacket and finally drifting off to sleep…

So, will the two of them finally bury their stupid, stubborn pride and 'fess up to their feelings? Or will Buffy cave in to that stupid speech Angel gave her and go back and marry Riley while Spike runs off with...er, Harmony? I don't know. Pick someone really hideous. And isn't Xander just so cool in this story? Dude, I'm usually way too pissed at him to make him a sympathetic character, but he just kicks ass in this AU. You rock, Xander! ^_^