My favorite instrument is the bagpipes:
I take it out of the bag and put it in the pipe.
Homegrown sucks so I plant my seeds in the neighbor's
yard.
A stoner called the fire department and said "Come quick my house is on
fire!" The fireman asked "How do we get there?" The
stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"
Q. How long does it take before a pound of bud goes bad?
A. I don't know! I never have it longer than an hour!!
Q. What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend?
A. Homeless.
Q. What's the difference between a stoner and a tweeker?
A. When a pothead is driving down a road he is driving about 20 mph and eating the upholstery.
When a tweeker is driving down a road he is driving about 200 mph. and talking to the upholstery.
Q. If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving?
A. The cop!!!
there were three kids sitting in a classroom, a little boy, a little girl,
and a little hippie. the teacher asks the little boy, can you spell ear? the
boy says "sure E E R." the teacher then says no that's wrong. so she asks the
girl, can you spell ear? the little girl says "sure, E - R - R" the teacher
very annoyed said no you were way off. so finally she asks the little hippie,
can you spell ear? the little hippie said, "yup E - A - R." very good said
the teacher, now can you use it in a sentence. the hippie said "yea.......
pffffffffffff ear!"
