Quotes

"Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand."
- Duffy Daugherty, football coach and sports analyst

"Please provide the date of your death." - from an IRS letter

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth.
I assisted in furthering that version."
- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season.
One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself.
It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different,
but it's got a particularly unique situation."
- Dan Quayle, US VP

"Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it."
- Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football.
A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst

"If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Anon

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Dan Quayle

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on." - Samual Goldwyn

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago..." - Dan Quayle

"I love the smell of Napalm in the morning." - Apocalypse Now

"Love means never having to say you're sorry." - Love Story

"I've fallen, and I can't get up!" - MedAlert System Commercial

"Where's the beef?" - Wendy's Restaurant Commercial

"Pardon me, do you have any grey poupon?" - Grey Poupon Mustard Commercial

"Boy George is all England needs -- another queen who can't dress." - Joan Rivers

Eiffel Tower:"The Empire State Building after taxes." - Anon.

Hanson:"And another thing -- Hanson blows." - Donald Trump

Ernest Hemmingway:"A literary style of wearing false hair on the chest." - Max Eastman
Always willing to lend a hand to the one above him." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Madonna:"She is closer to organized prostitution than anything else." - Morrissey

Marilyn Monroe:"It's like kissing Hitler." - Tony Curtis
"She was good at being inarticulately abstracted for the same reason
that midgets are good at being short." - Clive James

Yoko Ono:"If I found her floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog." - Joan Rivers

"Dyslexics of the world - untie!!!"

"Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech." - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

"I am never afraid of what I know." - Anna Sewell

"Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about." - Oscar Wilde

"The opportunity for brotherhood presents itself every time you meet a human being." - Jane Wyman

"A life lived in chaos is an impossibility..." - Madeleine L'Engle

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."
- Anne Frank

"The feelings that we have when we are in love show a normal state;
Being in love shows a person who he should be." - Chekhov

"The first snowboard was called a Snurfer."

"If you don't accept responsibility for your own actions,
then you are forever chained to a position of defense." - Holly Lisle

"Sometimes it's hard to avoid the happiness of others." - David Assael

"Don't think you're going to conceal faults by concealing evidence.
Don't be afraid to read every book." - Dwight. D. Eisenhower

"If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is 'thank you', that would suffice." - Meister Eckhart

"Always be ready to speak your mind and a base man will avoid you." - William Blake

"A rainbow can only be seen in the morning or early afternoon."

"Some of our friends are for it.
Some of our friends are against it.
And we're standing with our friends." - Anon.

"Resolve to be thyself: and know, that he who finds himself, loses his misery." - Matthew Arnold

"A teacher who is attempting to teach without inspiring the pupil
with a desire to learn is hammering on a cold iron." - Anon.

"In attempts to improve your character,
know what is in your power and what is beyond it." - Francis Thompson

"Never under ANY circumstance take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!" - Dave Barry

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there." - Anon.

"Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them." - Anon.

"The roots of true achievement lie in the will to become the best that you can become." - Harold Taylor

"A sharp tongue can slit its own throat." - Anon.

"A positive attitude may not solve all the problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright

"When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot in it and hang on." - Anon.

"Perfection itself is the biggest flaw." - Anon.

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." - Anon.

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.
Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." - Anon.