EmeraldAngel's Poetry Page Poem's From The Heart (for Poems from the Soul, visit the Insight Page) (all material was written by Debbie Roswell, copyright, 1998) msdebbiep@yahoo.com

My Poem: Metamorphosis	Joe's Poem: His Spirit Soars	Sitting Beside Me All Along
My Swedish Knight	My Spirit	He Walked Into My Life
The Cornfields	Fall Roses	The Staircase
Morning Sun		The Old Stump
	The Depths of Darkness

The Metamorphosis

The metamorphosis begins.
The being struggles with the change.
Old ways do not fit.
New ways are still unknown.
The inner harmony awaits awakening;
But it is impatient.

As do the leaves change colour
and fall to the ground
And the caterpillar changes to develop flight
So do I change.
Each change has its time,
Its meanings, its purposes, its joys
But each stage must also pass
It is life.

It is time to set the spirit free
Yet I struggle with the change.
As the questions run rampant
through my mind,
The turmoil mounts inside.
What is my spirit?
Where will it lead me?
How will it fit into my life ?
Or how will my life fit into it ?

All my present habits,
My safety nets, my roles --
What will happen to these
as my spirit shows its face?
The masks I wear--
Do they grow old?
The wife, the mother, the protector?
The risk seems great
To one who lives in a safe little world.
Dare I take the chance?
Do I let the spirit out?
Do I continue as I have?
Can I even stop the spirit from soaring?
Yes I know this can be done !
In the deep dark corner of my being
The spirit has sat so long !
It has risen to let itself be known
But it can be buried once again.

But should this be done?
No. I have been given this spirit.
It is mine.
It is me.
I have the key
To set it free.
But, it, also, is buried deep inside.
And now I sit
On the edge of the metamorphosis
Searching for the key
That will open the door --
And the spirit will be out.

The floodgates shall open
And out it shall pour --
My goals, my dreams, my mission in life !
I shall hold the world in my hands.
I shall be whole.
And the void shall be filled
With the power of life.

But where do I go from here?
These are but words upon a page.
That which must take place
Is still trapped inside.
How do I let it loose ?
What is the key?
And where do I find the courage
To do what must be done?
I listen to my heart
But it seems silent.
My spirit seems to taunt me --
I am here --
Try and find me !
And yet when I look
The farther away it seems to be.

(

Continued)

I look to others for the answer.
Yet they do not know.
They are puzzled by my questions.
They are unaware --
Unaware of that
which sits below the surface,
Begging to be set free
Unaware of the struggle that I face !
All that I have been
Seems to be put in doubt.
Yet is this true?
No, I am still a wife, a mother, a protector.
These I shall always be.
But I am more.
I am life !
I am the wind and the sun.
I am the mist upon the waters.
I am sunsets blazing in the skies
And yet this is not all.
I am more.
And so I wait
For the metamorphosis.
I am ready to take flight.
But first I need my wings!
Spirit, I await you --
The time is near.
I shall find the courage
To meet my destiny
To meet my spirit
To know me.

The world awaits me.
It has known all along
What I have to offer.
It has shown me its wind and its sun.
It has spread the mist before me
As I sat upon the water's edge.
It has tantalized my soul
With the beauty of its sunsets.
How could I have not seen?

I felt its fingers reach inside
And fill my being with wonder.
I have felt the fulfillment of life.
How could I have known?
And so I take my pen and lens
And venture out into the world
To capture that which I have felt
And present it for all to see.
The words and the pictures
Shall say it all --
This is my spirit.
This is me.
I have found it.
I am free.

The spirit is in me.
I ache to know it.
I give in to you spirit.
I am yours,
As you are mine.
Come and take me away
To the future that awaits me.
With all its troubles, its glories, its loves.
The metamorphosis begins.
And I am glad.

Debbie Roswell. 1997

This poem was written by my pen one morning during a great time of change in my life... the words seemed to pour out from nowhere.
When I was finished I did not know what I had written until I read it.
Since then, yes I have found the key and have found my spirit.
My life has changed immensely since that day (see the Survivor's Support Page), and yet much is still the same. I have learned much, grown much and have a long way to go.
And I am glad. Debbie Love Live; Live Life; Live with no Regrets

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My Swedish Knight

Standing at my side
Always on duty
Always on guard
My Swedish Knight
Standing at my side
Showing me his love
Showing me his heart
Standing at my side
A man of honour
A man of pride
My friend.. forever

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Joe's Poem:
His Spirit Soars

The life and struggles were hard.
How can we ever know
What he felt, what he lived.
Feelings of love,
unable to be shared, expressed;
Feelings of pain, unable to bear, let go;
Emotions unrecognized,
buried deep inside;
Torment of loving, hating, confusion;
A heart of gold, unable to give enough --
Enough to compensate
for that which raged inside

Wearing away at the heart and soul
Was the anguish of life,
Until finally he could not cope.
With tortured self-will he took control,
Control of that which had eluded him.
With courage and strength,
He made the final act of life,
And his spirit was set free.
Released from his body of life,
his spirit soared,
His peace he had found.

And yet he was not done.
To share this peace, this happiness--
To give this peace to those he loved...
His act of love --
that which he could not express in life,
Filled those he loved after his death.
Laying peacefully in white,
Surrounded by symbols
of his life, his love,
His spirit revelled in its new-found glory.

He shared two days with his loved ones
Listening to their stories,
their words of love,
Sharing his peace, his happiness,
And he smiled.
Filling them with awe and wonder
As they watched his spirit;
Watched him smile --
A wink, a breath, a sigh...
All these he used to convey his love,
His peace, his happiness.
The power of life lives on,
His spirit is set free,
And we smile.

Joe committed suicide in 1998 and he did indeed find his peace.

Surrounding him, at the funeral, was the most intense feeling of peace I have ever felt... (which by the way has been part of the "key to the metamorphosis").

and yes.. he winked, breathed, smiled as he lay there in the casket.

Many people saw the change in facial expressions as well as the appearance of breathing...

You might say that it was wishful thinking, and I will not change your mind, and that is fine, because I know what I saw, I know what I felt... Joe found his peace, and there IS an afterlife.

Debbie

(Joe's Story)

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My Spirit Soars

I spread my wings

Ready to soar.

Life awaits me to take the plunge,

To catch the wind

And let it take me

to heights yet unknown.

The feelings of the power

Sets my heart on fire

And a glow lights my smile.

The future is mine.

I am ready to fly --

to that which lies before me.

All that is a part of my past

Is also a part of my future,

As it has formed who I am;

The me that everyone knows,

And the me who is yet unknown to myself and the world.

I stand before you
Ready to walk the new path;
Knowing it is filled with life
With love, and challenges,
And the excitement
of the moment fills me.

Standing on the edge of my future,
I lean forward
And feel the support of life;
I spread my wings
And off I go -- soaring into my future with love and joy.

If you have seen the movie "Titanic" the feeling I have felt is similar to that of what Rose would have felt as she stood arms spread at the front of the ship, and at the time she was dancing down in the lower deck-- kind of a combination of the two... Very Powerful !

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Sitting Beside Me All Along Sitting beside me all along Was my love and I did not know Trapped in the moments of the day Walking a path that had fallen in place Letting life slip past us Leaving us lonely in each other's presence. And then one day Someone showed me love again I looked up and all was new I saw the sun And it shone brightly down upon me I heard the birds sing And my heart sang with them All was good and bright and full of life~ And then I saw my love Sitting beside me all along The curtain was drawn aside And I remembered the love I felt the love anew. Let me remind you Love Let me be the one to show you love again Look up and see my love I am yours. You are my love.

This poem is about internet love... written about people I have met while chatting.

I believe people get lost in the day-to-day routines of life and sometimes forget their loves.

Chatting revives that spark, opens up communications, and rekindles the love -- or it can, if allowed.

And, in some cases, the relationship just is not to be... and it is unfair to ourselves, our partners, or our children to pretend it can.

Debbie

Live Life; Love Life; Live With No Regrets

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He Walked into My Life

He walked into my life
And he put a smile there
He picked me up when I was down
And he showed me that he cared
The moments were so precious
They lasted the whole day through
Now I'm one special lady
To have such a friendship true

He listened to my troubles
He listened to my dreams
He held my hand through rough times,
Always sitting beside me it seems
The friendship, it has grown,
And a love, it has too

Now, I'm one lucky lady
To have such a friendship true

Oh David, you light up my life
Oh David, you make my day
Oh David, our friendship is real
And good times are coming our way
And good times are coming our way

This is another of my songs, written for a friend who helped me find independence.. perhaps he was the KEY to my metamorphosis !
Thanks, Dave.-- for being my friend and a support through a troubled time.
Debbie

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The Metamorphosis

My Swedish Knight

Joe's Poem: His Spirit Soars

My Spirit Soars

Joe's Poem:
His Spirit Soars