DARK GIMMON IS ONE OF THE MOST EVIL, DENOMIC BEINGS EVER. HE MAKES HIS PRESENCE KNOWN TO THE WORLD BY STEALING PEOPLE'S SOULS AND DESTROYING THEIR BODIES. HE IS THE EVIL VERSION OF THE REGULAR GIMMON (AND YOU THOUGHT THE NORMAL GIMMON WAS THE EVIL ONE!). HE WILL CAUSE YOU EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF PAIN, STAND OVER YOU IN YOUR DYING MOMENTS AND WHISPER "I DO NOT WANT YOUR BLOOD, I CAN TAKE YOUR BLOOD. I WANT YOUR SOUL, ONLY YOU CAN GIVE ME YOUR SOUL." IF YOU WERE EVER TO RUN INTO DARK GIMMON THERE IS NO HOPE (UNLESS YOU HAVE YOUR 'T MATERIA'). DON'T TRY TO RUN, YOU'LL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE. I'VE FOUND THAT A NORMAL GIMMON CAN OFTEN BE TAMED WITH MONEY. IF YOU FIND YOUR LIFE IN THE HANDS OF DARK GIMMON, SLIP HIM A FEW DOLLARS AND TELL HIM TO BUY SOMETHING PRETTY. IT MIGHT WORK. I'VE NEVER TRIED IT MYSELF. I'M NOT STUPID ENOUGH TO GET IN HIS WAY. PICTURED: DARK GIMMON IN ONE OF HIS MANY FORMS WITH HIS ARMY OF DARKNESS.

3. RONALD McDONALD

EVERYONE MUST HAVE BEEN TO McDONALDS ONCE IN THEIR LIFE. HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW ALL THE CREW MEMBERS GET ON WITH THEIR JOBS AS IF THEIR LIFE DEPENDS ON GETTING THE WORK DONE? WELL, MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE IT DOES. RONALD McDONALD IS SEEN AS THE FRIENDLY CLOWN MASCOT OF McDONALDS, ALWAYS HAPPY, SMILING AND MAKING FRIENDS WITH THE LITTLE CHILDREN. HOWEVER, THERE IS A SIDE TO RONALD THAT EVEN THE MOST EVIL, DARK AND TWISTED SOULS COULDN'T IMAGINE. IF YOU THOUGHT DARK GIMMON WAS THE MOST EVIL BEING IN THE UNIVERSE, THINK AGAIN. YOU'D THINK THESE TWO WOULD EITHER TRY TO DESTROY EACHOTHER, OR WORK TOGETHER, BUT THEY'VE NEVER BEEN SEEN IN THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME. RONALD TAKES THE SOULS OF TEENAGERS DESPERATLY SEEKING EMPLOYMENT, AND TURNS THEM INTO HIS MINDLESS SLAVES. VERY FEW ESCAPE McDONALDS EMPLOYMENT ALIVE, AND THESE ARE THE FEW WHO BECOME INSANE. I'VE KNOWN MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN GIVEN A JOB AT McDONALDS. SOME HAVE NEVER BEEN SEEN AGAIN. MAY THE LORD HAVE MERCY ON THEIR DISTORTED SOULS. PICTURED: RONALD McDONALD .

 

: THE BUNNY WAS ONCE A HARMLESS PET GIVEN TO SOMEONE FOR A CHRISTMAS PRESENT, BUT ONE DAY IT DISAPPEARED. IT IS RUMOURED THAT THE BUNNY WAS SEEN FISHING WITH DARK GIMMON. 2 WEEKS LATER, THE BUNNY RETURNED. NOW 5 TIMES IT'S ORIGINAL SIZE, LONG SHARP FANGS, RAZOR LIKE CLAWS, DENOMIC RED EYES AND A HELL OF A BAD ATTITUDE. IT CAN RUN AT SPEEDS OF UP TO 200MPH, AND CUT DOWN IT'S PREY WITH LIGHTNING SHARP REFLEXES. IF YOU SEE THIS THING, YOU DON'T NEED TO BE ABLE TO RUN FASTER THAN THE BUNNY, YOU JUST NEED TO BE ABLE TO RUN FASTER THAN THE PEOPLE YOU'RE WITH. PICTURED: THE BUNNY BEFORE IT WAS ABDUCTED.

5. WEB MONKEYS

"THE PAGE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IS TEMPORARALY UNAVAILABLE, THE SITE MAY BE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFICULTIES" WE'VE ALL SEEN THIS BEFORE! ISN'T IT FRUSTRATING? BUT DON'T GET MAD, IT'S NOT YOUR SERVERS FAULT, IT'S THE WORK OF "WEB MONKEYS"! THESE MONKEYS LIVE INSIDE THE INTERNET (YES, IT REALLY IS ONE BIG THING!) AND WITH THEIR WEB ADJUSTING TOOLS, THEY SET OUT TO MAKE THE LIVES OF INTERNET USERS AS ANNOYING AS POSSIBLE. PICTURED: A WEB MONKEY USES A WEB ADJUSTING SPANNER TO DISRUPT A POPULAR .COM SITE.

 

THESE INTELLIGENT PRIMATES ARE SAID TO BE THE DECENDANTS OF THOSE MONKEYS THAT WERE SHOT INTO SPACE ALL THOSE YEARS AGO. DID YOU EVER SEE THE FILM 'ALIEN'? IF YOU EVER GO TO SPACE, TRUST ME, THE ALIENS WILL BE THE LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS IF THE SPACE MONKEYS FIND YOUR FIRST. THEY'VE BEEN LIVING IN COLONIES WITHOUT ANOTHER TYPE FOR CREATURE AROUND FOR YEARS. USE CAUTION IF APPROACHING THEM… UNLESS YOU'RE REALY FOND OF BANANAS. (THANKS TO GIMMON FOR THE INSIDE INFORMATION HERE) PICTURED: CAPTAIN SIMIAN, A CARTOON SPACE MONKEY.

WHEN COMPARED WITH ALL OF THE ABOVE MONSTROSITIES, THE NORMAL GIMMON MAY SEEM RATHER TAME. DO NOT LET THIS DECEIVE YOU! HE CAN CAUSE AS MUCH SUFFERING AS THE REST OF THEM, AND ALTHOUGH HIS SOUL STEALING NEEDS A LITTLE WORK, HE CAN POSSESS PEOPLE TO SOME EXTENT. GIMMON CAN USE 'FORCE POWER' TO GET HIS OWN WAY. I SAW HIM REDUCE OUR £92 PHONE BILL TO £80 WITH A FEW CAREFUL WORDS AND A WAVE OF HIS HAND. HIS BATTLE CRY IS "GET OUT THE WAY, I'M GONNA KILL YA!" AND HE OFTEN CARRIES OUT THIS THREAT. HOWEVER, THE NORMAL GIMMON CAN BE TAMED WITH MONEY. A FEW DOLLARS HERE AND THERE SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO SAVE YOUR LIFE. IF YOU SEE A GIMMON, JUST DON'T ANNOY HIM AND YOU SHOULD BE SAFE. IF YOU DO ANNOY HIM, THERE ISN'T MUCH HOPE. PICTURED: GIMMON BEING HIS USUAL SCARY SELF.

JUST HOW MANY GIMMONS ARE THERE IN THIS SECTION? WELL THIS GIMMON IS JUST AS EVIL AND FEROCIOUS AS THE REST. ONE DAY, A CLASS OF 5 YEARS OLDS WENT ON A SCHOOL TRIP TO WHITLEY BAY (A BEACH RESORT IN NORTH EAST ENGLAND). THE TEACHER TOLD THEM TO STAY TOGETHER, BUT LITTLE BILLY AND LITTLE TIMMY DIDN'T HEED THE WARNING. THEY WENT RUNNING OFF TO PLAY IN SOME NEARBY CAVES. A FEW MOMENTS LATER, A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM WAS HEARD. THE TEACHER RAN OVER TO INVESTIGATE AND FOUND LITTLE TIMMY RUNNING OUT OF THE CAVE. SHE ASKED WHAT WAS WRONG AND HE TOLD HER A MONSTER HAD EATEN LITTLE BILLY. THE TEACHER DIDN'T BELIEVE HIM AND SENT HIM BACK WITH THE REST OF THE CLASS. AT THE END OF THE DAY, LITTLE BILLY STILL HADN'T TURNED UP SO THE TEACHER CALLED THE POLICE. THEY ASKED LITTLE TIMMY TO DESCRIBE THE MONSTER WHICH HAD EATEN BILLY. "IT HAD HUGE FANGS, RAZOR SHARP CLAWS AND DENOMIC RED EYES. IT CAME AT SHOUTING 'RAA, RAA, RAA, RAA, GRR!'" HE SAID. THEY THEN ASKED HIM TO DRAW A PICTURE OF THIS MONSTER. NOW 10 YEARS LATER, THE RAGING GIMMON THAT LIVES BY THE BEACH IS TRAVELING ROUND THE WORLD TRYING TO FIND A NEW BEACH. IT WAS REACENTLY SPOTTED IN MIAMI, FLORIDA. TIMMY IS STILL VISITING A SPECIALIST TO TRY AND GET OVER HIS ORDEAL. IT DOESN'T HELP HIM TO KNOW THAT THE RAGING GIMMON THAT LIVES BY THE BEACH IS STILL ALIVE, AND IT'S LOOKING FOR ITS NEXT VICTIM. PICTURED: LITTLE TIMMY'S DRAWING OF THE MONSTER WHICH KILLED BILLY.

I FOUND THIS 'THING' ON A FRIENDS PAGE. WHY DID YOU PUT IT THERE, BRANDY? IT'S GONNA BE A REOCCURING THEME IN MY NIGHTMARES FOR YEARS. LOOK AT THIS THING! IN FACT, DON'T! IT'S BLOODY TERRIFING! IF I SAW THAT IN A DARK ALLEY AT NIGHT I WOULDN'T STICK AROUND! IT IS EVIL!!