*~*
"Stone cold killer!"
" Death follows you wherever you go..."
If Edward Quartermaine thought his words would somehow hurt him, Jason Morgan knew otherwise.
There was nothing his estranged grandfather could say that registered any type of emotion where the stoic, blunt Mob enforcer was concerned.
Even the conniving, cantekerous Quartermaine patriarch's declaration - no doubt as heart-felt as it was grief-induced - that he wished it was Jason instead of Justus who was dead failed to resonate within Jason's soul.
Only the thought of her.
Only when his mind inexplicably drifted to Justus' cousin - Keesha Ward - did the weight of Justus' death come crashing down upon him.
*~*
"Ma'am? Ma'am, we've arrived."
The kind voice of the flight attendant pulled Keesha from her reverie and she gave her head a shake before unbuckling her seat belt and rising to her feet. The flight from Philadelphia to Port Charles had been a quiet one, not even half full. She'd tried to fill the time with her work at the Foundation, but her thoughts would soon drift to the man who'd been like a brother to her for much of her life. A brother who was now gone. She'd never hear his teasing voice, calling her "Lil' Bit" again. Her heart heavy, she pushed herself to focus on the task at hand. Slow deliberate steps, methodical and calm, took her from the narrow lane in the airplane with her carry on bag to the passenger exit and down the long corridor to where Port Charles lay.
*~*
She looked beautiful.
She always looked beautiful.
Her mane of dark curls, loose and bobbing as she walked briskly through the airport, her luggage now it tow. The cream coloured attire was both chic and understated, complimenting her natural beauty with ease. It was no wonder several men stopped in their tracks to watch this vision as she passed by. He frowned, unhappy with their obvious interest, feeling a sudden possessiveness for the woman he had no right to claim.
He moved towards her, his heartbeat quickening as he drew closer to her. What would he say to her? Was there anything he could say to ease the grief so evident on her features now that he was mere feet from her?
She spotted him and he froze for a moment before finding his voice. "Keesha," he said quietly.
Her face tightened with pain and anger. Her knuckles whitened as she clutched to her luggage. "Stop! Don't you ever speak my name!" she hissed in a trembling voice.
"I'm sorry. Justus was my frie-," he started before he was cut off by the sharp crack of her hand across his cheek. "He was not your friend. He was family," she choked out, tears brimming in her eyes. She then clamped her mouth shut and swept away from him, her chin high. He watched her go, rooted to the floor. He was no stranger to physical violence and he'd been slapped by a woman before and felt nothing.
Not this. Her touch was like fire and the sudden pain of her anger and hurt exploding against his cheek spread through his veins like a raging river.
New feelings took its place just as quickly.
Shame, guilt, sadness. For her loss, for Justus's death.
Hours later, he found he could not shake any of them no matter how hard he tried.
And the desire to be near Keesha had only intensified.
"So, what's on the schedule for today?"
Ned entered the Quartermaine family room as Keesha perused the morning paper on the chesterfield. Keesha laid down the newspaper and sighed. "Going to Justus's apartment and packing."
It had been just over a day since the funeral and just over three since she'd returned to her old home. The Quartermaines had fussed and cajoled and almost begged her to stay in a guest room for the duration of her time. It was strange being in the regal home again, so many of her best and worst memories settled into the fabric of the walls. The family seemed to sense this and while warmly invinting her in, kept a respectful calmness in her presence.
Ned's expression softened. "Yes, of course," he replied, pausing after a moment. He wanted to say the right thing. "Will you need my help? Maybe with the furniture? Anything ELQ related you want me to go over with you?"
Keesha shook her head. "Thank you for offering, but Faith has already secured a company to ship Justus's furniture back out to California."
Ned's eyebrows shot up. "All of it?" he asked curiously.
Keesha nodded. "Some of Granny Mae's items went to Justus and she always admired Justus's taste. If she doesn't keep it, she'll probably put it in storage for Bradley."
Ned nodded, recalling the handsome young boy at Faith's side. "Right. He's about 12 now, isn't he?"
"Thirteen. He's coveted Justus's baseball collection for quite some time. He's already there, carefully cataloguing everything, just like Justus did." Keesha smiled at the similarities between her cousins, young and old.
Ned gave a surprised smile. "Justus collected baseball cards. I never knew that." He placed his hands into his pants pockets. "I guess we never really discussed our personal lives like that." He gave his head a small shake. "I should have. I always liked Justus and maybe he didn't really know that..." his voice trailed off, regret filling the room.
"Ned, please, don't do that," Keesha said gently. "Justus made his choices in life."
"And every one of them seemed to lead to Jason's world." Anger crept into Ned's voice, "I just can't believe he didn't show up at the funeral."
Keesha looked down at her hands, feeling suddenly like the room was deprived of oxygen and light. She was genuinely grateful Jason had not shown disrespect by stepping foot into the church yesterday.
Still.
Her heart thumped mightily at the mention of his name and a flash of his clear blue eyes came to mind. Shame filled her instantly. How could she feel anything but loathing for the man?
Ned watched the changes in the younger woman and sensing her need for fresh air, he excused himself and quietly left the room.
Keesha stood and moved to the French doors. She needed oxygen and warm sunshine on her face if she was going to be able to help Faith and Bradley at the apartment. A walk through the lawns would be just the right medicine.
She moved briskly over the greenery, towards the cobblestoned path that garnished the mansion, breaking off in various directions at one point or another, tracing different paths of the mammoth property. Within a few minutes she felt better, more ready to take on the task at hand. She would get through this day, and think of Jason no more.
Moving back towards the house, she caught sight of Lila's famous rose garden and smiled. Lila and Justus had always shared a warm relationship. A few moments to smell the frangrances and admire the colours would improve her spirits even more.
It was a choice she regretted the moment she set foot inside the wooden arch.
Near a beautiful bush of lavender roses, squatted down, was Jason. Clad in his usual blue jeans, black shirt and black leather jacket, he appeared to have the same idea, his hand gently tugging a rose towards his nose, his eyes partly closed.
Keesha's hand flew to her chest in shock, suddenly feeling as though her very own self was being trespassed upon. Her cheeks flushed and her heart pounded against her chest. For a moment, she simply watched him delicately handle the flower, the intimacy of his touch on the rose reminding her of memories long ago and long thought burried, leaving her bewildered.
Bewildered and unable to look away.
"How DARE you come here?"
The shaking voice snapped Jason to attention and he released his hold on the flower. Edward marched towards Jason, his anger palpable to anyone within a ten mile radius. Normally the Quartermaine patriarch was all bluster and hot air when he bore down on a potential target and usually harmless with his threats, but not today. "You have some nerve showing your face!" he thundered at his grandson. "Desecrating Lila's garden by putting your blood soaked hands on such beauty!"
Keesha, momentarily stunned by the unfurling of emotion from Edward, shrank back and Jason rose from his haunches, his expression guarded. Edward shook his finger at Jason, his eyes like flint. "You are a murderer and a coward! You've already stolen two grandsons from this family. You stole my great-grandson from this family. It's not enough that you took AJ, Jason and Michael away from us, you had to take Justus as well!" The old man's eyes brimmed with sudden tears and Jason sucked in a sudden, emotional breath. Never before had the old man's words done so much damage in such little time. "Must I put guards on Ned? Is he next? Will I have to send Skye into protection with Lorenzo Alcazar now that she's pregnant with their child? Will you allow Corinthos to drag Emily back into his pit of hell again? The first time in that man's clutches wasn't enough for you? Who will you destroy next Jason?"
For the first time in his life, Jason trembled, not with fear, but a deep sense of sadness. A kind of hollowness and despair that his shoulders could not hold for very long. Since Justus's death, a burrowing of doubt, shame and regret had taken hold of him and would not relent, no matter how hard he tried to push it away. He'd never concerned himself with salvation before, but now, in front of Edward of all people, he suddenly craved it.
"I'm sorry, I meant no disrespect," he whispered brokenly. The gesture, so frail and despondent struck Keesha full force and she clutched onto the wooden arch for support. She ached to reach out her slender fingers and touch his shoulder, to provide this empty creature with some form of warmth, but she couldn't deny the truth in Edward's harsh words. Jason broke people. His life destroyed them and he'd done it without a care in the world to the family left behind to pick up the pieces.
"You leave now. Your words, your face, your being here brings nothing but sorrow and anger to this home," Edward seethed. "You ever come near my family again, I will break you. I will destroy your life in a manner even you can't fathom."
Jason's gaze narrowed, his eyes iced over and his shoulders squared at Edward's threat. "Don't push me!" he snapped back fiercely, but his emotions betrayed him as sudden tears cascaded down his cheeks.
Sensing the conversation was over, Edward's gaze moved past Jason to Keesha. "My dear, you should come inside."
Jason turned to face her, his pain filled orbs boring into her. "I came to speak to you." Her breath in her throat, she broke the gaze before it could consume her. "I'm fine Edward," she said softly. "I'll be right in."
Edward glared at the back of Jason's head but gave a quick nod of acquiescence. "Alright my dear, five minutes before I have security escort him off the property, clear?"
Keesha nodded and waited until Edward shut the french doors behind him. The heightened tension that had formerly clogged her senses just moments ago, washed away with every silent second that passed. All that remained was two people and the enormous grief between them.
"What is it you want?" Her voice finally found its strength and as calmly as possible, she had posed her question. What did he want from her? Why was he seeking her out?
Jason's tongue darted out, licking his lower lip nervously, readying for another barrage of anger, but knowing he needed to say his piece and to make her listen. He took a calming breath and waited until her eyes rose to connect with his once more. A flood of warmth coursed through him when they finally did. He took in her breathtaking beauty once more before realizing how his staring was doing little to answer her question.
"I have something for you that belonged to Justus."
Keesha shifted uncertainly. "What it is?" she asked suspiciously. Jason glanced around them, unnerving Keesha further. "Tell me," she prodded.
"Not here. Come with me."
Jason extended his hand to her and Keesha's eyes boggled. "Are you serious?" she asked harshly. Jason's gaze remained steadfast. "Yes. It's safer this way."
Keesha shook her head. "You're crazy to think I'd go anywhere with you."
"Please Keesha. I know how much Justus loved you. I would never do anything to risk your well being," he insisted more urgently.
"Does that include torturing AJ or keeping Michael from his family or killing Justus?" Hot tears pricked her eyes. "Or destroying the beautiful memory of a man I once loved?" The words came out in a jagged whisper, too fast for her to stop.
Jason stilled at her anguish, his face marring with pain once more. "Do you want to know the truth about Justus? What he was really doing?"
Keesha's hand brushed away her tears. "What do you mean?"
"Come with me and I'll tell you everything," Jason promised, his clear blue eyes urging her to just once, trust him.
Keesha pressed her eyes closed, images of Jason Morgan, Jason Quartermaine, Justus and Mary Mae vying for her attention. The pain in her heart and the grief she felt tore at her but a small voice urged her to push through it and go with the man she had no earthly reason to be near. "The truth about Justus?" she asked.
"Yes. Everything."
Without opening her eyes, she gave a silent prayer and extended her hand, feeling his close around it. Jason gripped the smaller hand snugly in his and both startled at the jolt that passed between them. "This way," Jason said, tugging her in the direction of the driveway. Her heart and mind racing a mile a minute, Keesha allowed herself to be led by him, through the rose garden and down the path, past the bushes and down the long winding driveway to where Jason's motorcycle sat waiting.
"Put this on," he stated, handing her a gleaming black helmet before he mounted the Harley. Keesha pulled on the helmet as the chopper roared to life under Jason's expert hands. He pushed the kickstand and righted the rumbling machine. Awkwardly, Keesha climbed up and sat on the small passenger seat behind Jason. She took hold of his jacket but he shook his head, and moved her hands securely around his waist, pulling her even closer. She trembled as she inhaled his scent and gripped her hands together, hoping desperately that this was not some terrible mistake. Jason pushed the motorcycle forward and lifted his feet to the foot pedals as they began to pick up speed, turning out of the Quartermaine Estates driveway and down the treelined road towards their destination. For a brief moment, Jason felt serenity. He was going to honor Justus, he was going to change his life and the woman who'd been the subject of his daily thoughts and nightly dreams was holdling onto him for dear life as they moved through the wind.
It was the happiest feeling he'd felt in years.
What was she doing?
Her mind screamed at her again and again, demanding to know why Keesha was betraying herself by going off with Jason like this. Did she not recall how Justus died? Did she not know who was responsible for dragging her cousin back into the life after he sought guidance and sanctuary at the monastery? Her heart and mind battled fiercely over her and all Keesha could do was hang on for dear life.
Hang on to Jason.
The man who led her cousin to slaughter. The man who robbed AJ of so much and pushed his descent into madness. The man who had treated her so cruelly when she had lost the love of her life.
And yet here she was, clutching to him, inhaling him and being confronted with all these mixed emotions. Where was he taking her? What would she do when they arrived at their mystery location? What did he mean about the truth about Justus?
So many questions and no answers in sight. She must have been crazy to take Jason's hand and follow him. Suddenly, the motorcycle's powerful engine geared down and Jason eased the vehicle to the left, off the main road onto a narrower winding path, over bumps and uneven pavement. The landscape changed and no longer were the high rocks and cold terrain present. Lush grenery and trees of all variety surrounded them, sun breaking through and dappling the forested ground with bits of light. Keesha's face stilled for a moment, she knew this place.
Jason Quartermaine had brought her here.
The uneven path continued to an opening of beautiful sandy beach and a sea of sparkling blue to match the brilliant sky. Jason guided the motorcyle to a stop and turned off the engine. Keesha climbed off wordlessly and walked the few steps to the opening. "I remember coming here," she said in an awed voice. She walked the short distance to the wooden walkway that went down to the beach. Jason followed her, quietly scanning the landscape for any suspicious activity.
They stopped at the steps leading down to the sand and Keesha inhaled the warm salty breeze that drifted off the waters. "The last time I was here," she said quietly, her voice drifiting off. Jason watched her, captivated by the soft features. "I brought you here."
Keesha shook her head. "Not you, my Jason brought me here. He showed off the property and told me about how the Quartermaines bought it specifically so it wouldn't be snapped up by greedy developers. There was a tent set up over there," she indicated, pointing to an area just past the fencing. "Lace curtains around it and a beautiful lunch set up for us. Salmon and crabcakes and Greek salads. Raspberry sorbet for dessert. Italian bread that was still warm and Merlot that danced in my mouth when I tried it. Jason said I'd love it and he was right," she sighed wistfully.
"Do you still drink it?" He took a step towards her, almost daring to reach out and touch her. "No. Sometimes I can't even smell it without thinking of a time when I was happy and in love with the most giving soul I ever knew. To have been so lucky at such a young age and to know that if the accident hadn't happened, Jason and I would be building our family together this very minute."
Sad eyes turned to meet Jason's. "I used to believe that a part of Jason was still in you, just waiting to burst out and be the man his family loved and needed and the man I loved." So many hopes and dreams had been lost the day Jason walked away from her and the family who cherished him.
Jason cast his eyes to the sea. "I can't change the past." Regret and longing tinged his words, surprising Keesha and she watched him, wondering if duels were going on within him as they were within her. "Why did you bring me here?"
"It seemed like the best place."
Keesha cried suddenly, "The place where Jason-" before closing her mouth, stopping herself. No, she wouldn't share it with him. Her resolve hardened once more. She wouldn't give anything of herself to him ever again. "This was the worst place to bring me," she said, folding her arms in front of her.
"I know what this place means to you," Jason insisted softly. "I know you had your lunch and then swam in the ocean. I know the place was deserted and the we lay on the beach, talking about the future and what we were going to do with our lives."
"Stop!" Keesha shouted. "Why do you keep talking about Jason like he's you?"
"Because I remember everything!" Jason shouted back. He closed the gap between them, clutching her hands in his, his face searching hers for comfort. "I remember Paris and the accident that drove us apart! I remember the first moment I saw you and how lucky I felt when you shined you light on me. I remember how AJ felt about you and looked at you and how much I hated it and how I wasn't going to lose you to anyone." His eyes darkened ever so slightly, his voice filling with shame. "I remember pushing you away. I remember kissing you in the weight room and degrading you. I remember seeing the sadness in your eyes and not caring."
"I remember everything. Maybe it was the surgery or the drugs, but I remember all of it and I can't stop thinking about you," he whispered. "I don't want to anymore. I still love you."
*~*
Tears streamed down Keesha's cheeks, a long held dam bursting open and she pulled from Jason, turning away as she wept. "No! No no no!" she sobbed. "You can't bring me here and say these things to me!"
Tears pricked Jason and he longed to pull her into his arms and tell her everything was going to be alright. "I had to tell you! You have to know everything!"
Keesha simply shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. "I let Jason go. I did my best to move on and I can't go back." She wiped her tears. "I came here for Justus, not a walk down memory lane. Tell me about Justus or I'm leaving."
Jason sighed but opened his jacket, pulling a folder from it. "Here, this is some of what we were working on." Keesha turned and took the folder, opening it to examine the contents. Her brow furrowed and Jason continued to explain. "I brought Justus out of the monastery because I wanted out. I needed his help to do that and we resolved to bring down the entire establishment. Send it all crashing to rubble to free all of us. We'd been working on it for two years and nobody else knew about it. Illegal deals, shipments, operations, connections, names and numbers. All of it, all of it to bring the Port Charles illegal outfit to its knees."
Keesha looked over the pages. "This isn't enough." She was no attorney, but she knew the law well enough to know that even slam dunk cases against the mob weren't good enough to break the cycle of corruption and terror.
Jason nodded. "There's more in a safe location. Justus and I were going to hand it over to Robert Scorpio, we were almost out. Justus went to a meeting for me and he was murdered. No rhyme or reason. Just a cheap power play that went bad."
Keesha stared in awe at the papers before her. "Justus was helping you leave?"
"Justus was saving all of us. He was going to cripple the establishment and he gave his life to do so." Jason looked at Keesha. "He was my friend."
Keesha looked up at Jason, a clarity unfolding before her. Justus was gone, but not without honor. Not without doing proudly by their family. "He was your friend," she agreed. A new question arose. "Why are you giving this to me and not Robert Scorpio?"
Intense blue eyes bore into her. "I needed you to know everything first. As we speak the WSB are going through the locked storage area where all the necessary information is. Arrests won't be made for a few days. You're free to tell Faith and Bradley and even Edward if you want. I needed you to know that Justus didn't compromise himself for me. He died in my place and I'll never forgive myself for that."
They stood together for a few quiet seconds, the sounds of the rolling tide in the background. So much had changed in a few short hours, it left Keesha breathless. Justus would be exhonerated. Bradley would be proud of his cousin and Faith's sadness over her brother would be countered by the joy they would all feel in knowing that Justus had truly turned his life for the better. The ripple effects of Justus's work would be felt throughout the community for years to come.
Jason had changed before her very eyes. No longer was he simply the remorseless killer for Sonny Corinthos. No longer was he the shell of a formerly good man.
He was someone else entirely. A man striving to be something more.
"Why?" she asked. "Why would you do all this?" Jason took in a breath and stepped precariously close to Keesha once more. She was breathtaking. "Isn't it obvious?" he said solemnly.
A lone tear slid down Keesha's cheek and Jason's thumb caressed the smooth skin to capture it. The touch shook Keesha to her very core and she trembled.
"Jason."
She whispered his name only once, a calling to him and he responded without hesitation. He pulled her into his arms, his mouth taking hers in a fierce, longing kiss. Both surrended to it, their bodies moldling to each other. It ended far too soon, leaving both hungering for more. Whispered words of desire and love and need would have to pacify for now. Jason knew his world would not forgive his betrayal and to expose Keesha to such a life would be unforgiveable. He'd made an oath to Justus's memory and for now, this moment would have to sustain them.
Keesha held to Jason, memorizing every frame of him, relishing every ounce of him for as long as she could. In her heart she knew he would leave and the very real possibility that she would never see him again hung over them, but she would not let it triumph. They would be together again one day.
Their love would endure anything.
