Ask the Ducks
Setting: The rec room. All the Ducks are seated around a
table that has a huge stack of letters on it.
Wildwing: Lately we have been recieving a lot of questions
asking about us or our show and we thougt that we should
Nosedive(cheerfully): And it gets us out of a photo
Wildwing: Let's begin.
He grabs a letter from the pile
Wildwing: This one reads...
I was wondering, do you or your insurance pay for
the damage you cause while battling Dragaunus?
Wildwing: Well Sara, You may find this hard to believe but
it's very hard to get insurance when you wreck as much
stuff as we do in battle. So to answer your question, we
pay. next letter.
Duke picks up a letter and reads it aloud.
I have noticed that you and Grin spend a lot of
time together. By any chance are you funny?
Nosedive: By *funny* I hope you're referring to our jokes
rather than if we're gay or not.
Duke: You still haven't answered his question. Are you
Nosedive(shouting): Of course I'm not!
He snatches the letter from Duke and throws it in the
All the Ducks but Nosedive and Grin are laughing. They're
mumbling about what sick minds humans have.
Mallory(chuckling): Okay, here's another one.
Dear Mighty Ducks,
I am six years old and my daddy won't let me take
ice skating classes because he says I'm too little. How old
were you when you started skating?
Mallory: Being that Puckworld is covered by ice, most of us
learn shorty after we begin walking.
Mallory takes another letter
How come so many fan fiction characters date(d) you
and stuff like that?
Duke: What can I say? I've been around.
Tanya starts reading a letter aloud.
Dear Mighty Ducks,
How do you feel about hockey?
They all sit there with a confused/annoyed look on their
Grin: Thats the dumbest question I've ever heard.
The rest nod in agreement.
Tanya:That was pitiful. Well, here's another...
Why do you always sound like you have a cold?
Tanya: Well, I'm allergic too a lot of things, like
feathers, so I'm kinda allergic to myself, I guess.
Nosedive: Here's one for me. It says...
What is the dumbest thing you ever did?
Nosedive: Now that is a hard one. let me think. Oh I know!
I've never been much of a morning person and when I was
fourteen I forgot to put my pants on, so there I was at
school and I noticed I wasn't wearing any pants! Then I
thought it was a dream, you know, the one where your naked
in a public place type dream, but when the teacher sent me
to the guidance councilor, but she said I was beyond
guidance, so everything turned out all right! They didn't
even press charges!
Mallory: Here's another for Dive.
What is your goal in life?
Nosedive: My goal in life is to be able to walk and chew
gum at the same time!
Mallory(sarcastically): Boy, you set some really high goals
Wildwing: We have time for one more question.
Aren't you afraid of dying?
From Nick Watts
Grin: There is nothing to fear but fear itself...
Nosedive: And being canceled.
Grin: Well, that too.
Wildwing: Thats all the time we have today. Join us next
time and remember, if you have any, and I mean any
questions about us or the show, send them to
BRADON123@msn.comand we'll answer them
All the Ducks: Good Night!
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