Ep. I Scene 3
[It is the evening. Veronica and Blanche are sitting on some rocks. They have candles all around them. They are passing around a bottle of wine. In addition, Veronica has a pipe and Blanche has her cigarettes. They are stoned and drunk. Sy comes in, carrying her laundry. She has a lantern and is looking around, slightly paranoid. She does not notice Blanche or Veronica at first, but later sees them.]
Veronica- Why are you doing your laundry now?
Sy- I got dirty clothes now.
Blanche- Makes sense to me.
[Sy looks around, it’s obvious that she doesn’t want for anyone to see her. She motions for the bottle and they pass it to her. She takes a long drink, sighs contently and passes it back.]
Sy- What’s in that pipe?
Veronica- Billy Bro Rev. Joe threw out my stash. I have to smoke oak leaves now.
Sy- Billy Bro Rev. Joe is being a bitch again?
Veronica- Damn, he's always bitchin' about one thing or another. He tells
me to clean the house, wash the dishes and do everything. I got a
job working at my parents’ bar, The Moldy Lizard. I also help Blanche
here run the general store. All he does is make up stupid sermons.
Oh, and I forgot, he also sits on his ass all day and yells for me, even
when I’m not there.
Blanche- Johnny is the exact same way.
Veronica- Blanche, Johnny is dead. You keep him in a closet next to some of
your kids.
Blanche- And he still bitches at me. Complains that there is a stench.
Veronica- That's one of your kids yelling at you. You always keep 'em in
that closet whenever they misbehave, it's no wonder they stink.
Sy- I don’t stink. I always wash my clothes.
Veronica- You never wash the clothes that you wear, you always wear one
outfit, and I never see that get washed. But you have all of these
other clothes that nobody has ever seen, and you are washing them.
Are they Jim’s or something?
Sy- Hell no! I don’t let Jim have any clothes except the ones that he is
wearing, and half the time not even that. These are all of the clothes
that I have in reserve.
[During their conversation Pepper Annie is seen jogging by several times. After Sy talks about her clothes, Pepper Annie stops and comes over, breathing heavily]
Veronica- Hey! Pepper Annie! What are you doing here? And why you
breathin' so heavy? Did you finally get a man?
Pepper Annie- Can’t talk now. I have to get ready for the mud wrestling
competition.
Veronica- You didn’t finish my hair, you know.
Pepper Annie- Oh, sorry.
[Pepper Annie runs off. All during the following conversation, she is seen kick-boxing and tumbling and other things. She is obviously out of shape and does every badly, but with a lot of energy.]
Sy- The mud wrestling competition should be really good, don’t you think so?
Veronica- Billy Bro Rev. Joe is making me go. I would have gone on my own
account, but he is making a really big deal about it. So now I am
starting to hate it.
Sy- You and Billy Bro Rev. Joe really aren’t doing very well, are you?
[Pepper Annie is seen doing different karaté kicks. Harry walks by. She accidentally kicks him in the face. He groans and Veronica turns around. Pepper Annie starts doing cartwheels and is out of sight. Harry runs off when he hears Pepper Annie practicing her war cries.]
Sy- [yelling] Pepper Annie! Stop shouting, I can’t hear myself wash my own
clothes!!
Veronica- Basically, I just don’t think that there is love anymore.
Sy- Love has nothing to do with it. Jim and I despise each other, but we
have fun.
Blanche- Johnny and I don’t have fun anymore. He just lies in the closet all
day. But I think that’s because he’s dead.
[Betty walks by and passes Harry, who is walking by again, this time with a fishing rod. They smile at each other, but he hears Pepper Annie coming and runs. Betty stands there looking puzzled. Pepper Annie is singing and punching. Pepper Annie keeps on punching. She passes right by Betty, who stands there in shock.]
Veronica- I only wish that Billy Bro Rev. Joe would stay in the closet. But he
won’t even do that. He just talks and yells at me.
[Pepper Annie is seen running and charging. They turn around and watch as she runs right over Betty. After she passes, Betty gets up and shakes herself off. Sy recognizes her.]
Sy- [whispering] You see that girl over there? Well, we met in the woods earlier today. I tried to give her a bra as a welcome gift, but she was a bitch an' just ran off. She says she's from Mississippi seems damn proud of it too. Well, she looks at me and she says, "What are you?" But th' thang is, she don’t say it nice, she say it mean. And she was the one that was new around here.
Blanche- Someone new around here? Damn, they must have gotten a nice welcome from Pepper Annie. I would hate to move here just to be run over by her.
Veronica- Who was that guy that she was smiling at? He was hot. But, but not as hot as Billy Bro Rev. Joe.
(*It’s obvious that she wants to make herself feel better, so she lies to everybody about her marriage.)
Sy- I didn’t see anyone smile at her. I wouldn't be surprised if Betty didn't know how to smile, she seems a right bitch.
Betty- Did you see that fat bitch! She ran me over! What is her problem?
[Blanche pulls out another bottle. She does not talk for the rest of the scene. She just keeps drinking and gets plastered. Several times she falls over and gets back up, but she doesn’t talk until she and Betty are alone.]
Veronica- That fat bitch is my friend.
Betty- I would guess that, you aren’t exactly skinny.
Veronica- Well you aren’t exactly good looking.
Sy- Veronica always gets her food. Blanche here has to eat meal tickets. I am on welfare. But you know what is really good, salad dressing. I eat it all of the time.
Betty- You drink salad dressing?
Sy- I know, I have to look through the dump for the empty bottles and then I lick the inside. But the Moldy Lizard has it too. And occasionally Blanche will get it in her general store, but most of the time she only has crap.
Betty- She sells crap.
Veronica- Only as fertilizer.
[Pepper Annie sits down. She is panting and starts drinking the creek water.]
Pepper Annie- Wow! I got quite a workout. But I need it. I really want to win the mud wrestling competition. It’s gonna be so much fun!
Betty- Is that why you knocked me over? There was a mud wrestling competition and you had to practice charging?
Pepper Annie- It frightens people to see me charging at them.
Betty- Simply looking at you frightens me.
Veronica- Damn girl, you be a bitch! I ain't stayin' 'round here no more if you gonna act this mean.
Pepper Annie- Yeah, and I got to go practice some more.
[Veronica, Sy and Pepper Annie all get up and leave. Betty stares at Blanche. Blanche stares into space.]
Betty- Do you talk? Hello! Excuse me, are you alive? That is it! You all are freaks! I should have known better than to come here at night when all of you come out. [She starts to leave. When Blanche talks, she listens, but is obviously frightened.]
Blanche- I ever tell you about Johnny? Johnny was a good man. We met in the army when we was five. We didn’t have kids right away though, we waited until he was 10. I named all of my kids after the things that helped me through my pregnancies, you got your Pepto Bismol, your Viagra, Bud, Weis and Er, Miller, Miller Light, Marlboro, Menthol, Alcohol, Egg, Tea, oh yes, and the one that all the teachers said was obscene. The kids made fun of him for it. They told me that kids didn’t need to know about them things, I said, what the hell’s wrong with….(Blanche keeps rambling about the obscene son...)
Betty- [cuts in, though Blanche is still talking] What the hell is your problem? [tries to ignore Blanche. But finally temptation wins over.]
Betty- What was his name?
Blanche- I ever tell you about Betty?
Betty- What!?
Blanche- Betty was my lesbian lover. She helped me kill Johnny. Johnny smelled. We was baking a pie one day, and we wanted to have an orgy. But we didn’t have no dildo, but Betty, she was the resourceful one. She put a pickle on her belt. Johnny was at that orgy, it didn’t matter that he was dead, he sure did smell bad though.
Betty- You all are sick!
[Betty runs off and Blanche takes another drink. She then passes out. ]
) to scene 4 (
back to Beaver's Creek
an apple a day could have worms.
