12-27-99 - I've been wanting to update my page for a while now. I
haven't had anything to write about, tho. Wait. Scratch that. I've had
a bajillion and two things to write about. So much has happened in the
past two weeks...from gaining friends and losing friends to gaining and
losing family members. I'm left here wondering why I didn't, and still
don't, want to write about these things. Writing on here is my way of sorting
things out. I guess you could say it's how I put my life into perspective.
For some reason, I don't want to deal with things anymore. I refuse to
think or deal with anything. It's not that I'm running away from things
(maybe I am), I just find life to be much more fun if I block everything
out. It leaves me from worrying about things. It leaves me to laugh, instead
of cry. Most of you know what happened with my grandfather last week. I
dealt with that in my own way. Or at least I tried to. It was nice to have
someone to call when things started to upset me. And it was very nice
to have someone's house to go over. If I wanted to talk about what was
bothering me, I could bring it up. If I felt like keeping it to myself,
then I did. Life is so much easier like that. It got my mind off of everything
and made me feel so much better. But maybe even tho that certain senior
gave me hug, I should just start dealing with things on my own, instead
of in my own way.
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